You wouldn’t be caught dead drinking a cosmo, but all your friends will be drinking these at your funeral.
11. Irish Car Bomb
Why is it manly?: What’s manlier than going mano-a-beero with a pint of the world’s thickest stout mixed with a shot of whiskey? Knowing that if you don’t chug it fast enough, you’ll be downing chunks of curdled Bailey’s cream.
3/4 pint Guinness stout
1/2 shot Bailey’s Irish cream
1/2 shot Jameson Irish whiskey
10. Kentucky Tea
Why is it manly:? You can get shot in the face by an Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms federal agent just for making this cocktail.
1 mason jar halfway full of moonshine
Fill the jar with branch water
9. Rusty Nail
Why is it manly?: I can’t put my finger on exactly why, but there’s something oddly macho about asking your girlfriend if she would like to sip on your Rusty Nail. Recipe:
¾ oz. scotch
¼ oz. Drambuie
8. Snake Bite
Why is it manly?: Anytime a drink is compared to a snake sinking its fangs into you and depositing venom in your bloodstream, chances are, it’s probably pretty stiff. Basically it’s straight up Yukon Jack, which has been known to make balls hairy. The only reason there’s a dash of lime juice is so you won’t get scurvy.
2 oz Yukon Jack liqueur
1 dash Lime juice
Why is it manly?: To be honest, I don’t know if this is manly or just gross. Either way, a man can never get enough electrolytes.
Recipe: 8 oz chilled Gatorade energy drink
4 oz Jagermeister herbal liqueur
6. Gin and Juice
Why is it manly?: Snoop Dogg likes to drink this when there are bitches in his living room gettin’ it on until six o’clock in the morning, so that has to be worth something. Gin and juice was also the morning cocktail of soldiers and officers in WWII. That’s right, this is what you drank right before you killed a bunch of Nazis. You can’t say that about Malibu and pineapple.
Recipe: 2 1/2 ounces Gin.
1 oz. orange juice.
Equal parts mind on your money and money on your mind
5. Nuclear Waste
Why is it manly?: This is the only thing Keith Richards drinks now. According to the man himself, ""Whiskey wasn’t agreeing with me anymore. The old body couldn’t take it. Brandy is a killer, and wine is best with food, so somehow I settled on this. Plenty of ice. Lovely." If it’s good enough for Mr. Richards, it’s good enough for this list.
2 oz. premium vodka
1 oz. Sunkist or any orange soda Plenty of ice
4. Tequila Sunrise
Why is it manly?:First off, it’s a breakfast cocktail. And secondly, "2 measures tequila" is short for, "as much tequila as your glass will hold." It may look a little fruity but it’s about as tropical as a back alley in Tijuana.
2 measures Tequila Orange juice
2 dashes Grenadine
3. The Original Sazerac
What makes it manly?: This cocktail takes the classic New Orleans recipe and adds—what else—a nice, healthy addition of Absinthe. Because if huffing rye whiskey doesn’t make you a man, mixing it with mythical psychadelic liquor that tastes like cough syrup will make sure everyone knows you have a penis.
1 tsp Sugar
1-1/2 oz Rye whiskey
1 Dash Herbsaint, Pernod or Absinthe (to coat the glass)
2 dashes Peychaud bitters
2 dashes Angostura bitters
1 Lemon peel twist
Why is it manly?: Well, it’s pretty much straight alcohol, with just enough vermouth to remind you that you’re not drinking disinfectant. Plus, James Bond drinks it, and he bangs lots of chicks and beats the crap out of dudes with names that describe a hideous disfigurement they have that also provides them with some sort of physical superiority.
2 1/2 oz Gin
1 1/2 tsp Dry Vermouth
Why is it manly: You may say "it’s got a cherry, nothing with a cherry is manly." Well, nibble on this: It’s notorious for being the favorite drink of the Italian Mafia, who are notorious for killing people. I’m not saying killing somebody makes you a man, but it’s probably not the best idea to call someone who just threw someone off a bridge a "cherry drinking pansy."
*3/4 oz Sweet Vermouth
2 1/2 oz Rye whiskey dash Angostura bitters
1 Maraschino cherry