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The 12 Greatest Lines From Justin Bieber’s Lawsuit Deposition

(Exhibit A in the ongoing “Bieber vs. Humanity” trial.)

Justin Bieber is history’s greatest villain. Calling him a “douchebag” would be an insult to vaginal hygiene. And before you start calling me a HATER for pointing out the obvious, allow me to give you just 12 recent examples of what an asshole this kid is.

TMZ has released some highlight videos from a lawsuit deposition Bieber attended last Thursday related to his bodyguard allegedly beating up a photographer. In these videos, the Beebs comes off as the most entitled, repugnant brat in the history of mankind. (He also happens to be dressed like a Dangerous-era Michael Jackson.) Here are Bieber’s best quotes…

1. Photographer’s lawyer: Do you remember earlier today when I asked you…
Bieber: No.
Photographer’s lawyer: Why don’t you listen to what I have to say first. And then maybe you’ll tell me yes or no.
Bieber: I don’t have to listen to anything you have to say.

2. Photographer’s lawyer: Do you remember being in Australia, ever?
Bieber: I don’t know if I been to Australia. [turns to his counsel] I been to Australia?

3. Photographer’s lawyer: I didn’t hear your response. Again, sir, I’m pleading with you to speak up.
Bieber: You know I didn’t finish my…
Photographer’s lawyer: Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.
Bieber: [sarcastically] Oh, really? You didn’t want to interrupt?

4. Photographer’s lawyer: Is it true that you know that your security guards will punch, grab, and push paps if they need to?
Bieber: I object. [Ed. note: LMAO!]

5. Photographer’s lawyer: Would you please look at the film that’s up there?
Bieber: This is a film? This is a film?
Photographer’s lawyer: Would you please watch the television…
Bieber: You said it’s a film. You said watch the film. Is this a film?
Photographer’s lawyer: Is there a difference between a film and something else?
Bieber: …yes?

6. Photographer’s lawyer: Have you ever disciplined Mr. Hesny?
Bieber: Disciplined…what kind of question is that? [laughs] Is he my son?

7. Bieber: Guess what? Guess what? [shit-eating grin] I don’t recall.

8. Photographer’s lawyer: Is there anything funny in my question, as to why you were laughing?
Bieber: Well I don’t know, Katie Couric, you tell me.
Photographer’s lawyer: Are you calling me Katie Couric?
Bieber: No.
Photographer’s lawyer: Is this a news interview for you? Because it’s not, it’s your deposition, do you understand that?
Bieber: Yes. [long pause] But I see what you’re doing.

9. Photographer’s lawyer: Do you know Raymond Usher IV?
Bieber: No.
Photographer’s lawyer: Do you know an individual in entertainment by the name of Usher?
Bieber: Yeah. Usher. That sounds familiar.

10. Photographer’s lawyer: Isn’t it true that Usher was instrumental in starting your career?
Bieber: I was found on YouTube. I think that I was detrimental to my own career. [Ed. note: LMAO, again!]

11. Bieber: How could I ever be aware of something knowing something? That’s physically impossible.

12. Court reporter: I’m really sorry to keep asking you this, but could you please speak up?
Bieber: “I think yes and no are fuckin’ pretty, pretty different.”

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