You’ve been furtively masturbating for weeks in the hope this day would approach and it’s finally here kids. Put away that olive oil and put on your reading glasses, the 3rd Annual Holy Taco Douchebag Tournament has landed! Watch out for poo. You can check out 2010 here and 2009 here to get a feel for the tourney and then, once you’re done feeling them, come back here and check out this year’s showdown.
Day 1 Round 1 is here!
Day 1 Round 2 is here!
Day 2 Round 1 is here!
Round 2 day 2 is here!
The Sweet 16 is here!
The Elite 8 is here!
The Final 4 is here!
How the Tournament Works:
The world is lousy with douchebags but some stand head and shoulders above the rest. We’ve chosen 64 miscreants from the last year whose rank vinegar and water stench makes them standouts in their douchiness. Drawing from the fields of Entertainment, Politics, Sports and a new category we’re calling Wildcard, we’ve picked the best and the brightest of the worst and the lowest and pit them head to head. The Tournament runs for 10 days (March 16 – 26) and each day we’ll present new match ups for you to vote on. It’s so scientific you’ll be as educated at the end of this as you would be if you graduated from DeVry. Losers will be banished back to the land of Massengill, winners move on to the next round of voting until one douche stands supreme above all others and gets crowned champion! Check back daily for new match ups as we tally the votes and move on with the madness. Now on to this year’s brackets where some old douches return and new douches try to make a name for themselves.
If you’re a betting man it’s time to bust out the vermouth and some nickels, a few friends and enough burritos to ride out the whole tourney. We’ll update the brackets daily so you can follow along. Now check over the players, pick your pony and get ready – the internet won’t know who to make fun of if you don’t do your part.
Courtney Love & Muppet Sexual Assault
Playboy’s Big Dance March Madness Bracket Challenge
The brackets are always such bullsh1t. They’re rigged to generate a specific outcome.
As every year, the brackets are complete bullsh1t. They’re rigged to generate a specific outcome.
Yes. We rigged the douchebag tournament. That you vote on. To pick the biggest douchebag. Makes sense.
It hath be written: Lance Bass for douchebag of the year.
Favre should be seeded much higher.
wtf charlie sheen is total win how can you nominate him as a dousche bag.
OMFG!!! Westboro v Terry Jones. The winner will be one of those two.
I Guess Im a douchebag for not knowing half the people here
We’ll be justifying everyone as the tournament progresses.
Sarah Palin v. Bristol Palin, huh…
if Sarah Palin wins doesn’t that make Bristol Palin a douchebag by association?
So many douchebags in the sports world other than America, wheres El Hadji Diouf, Ibrahimovic, Jose Mourino, etc?
oh wow, tough competition
Tough one, with westbourough and Hipsters up there… But I’ve got my money on Hipsters. They fucking annoy me.
Wtf? Steve Jobs isn’t on there???
He is an unhealthy douchebag; no picking on the ailing. I approve.
(14)the situation vs (3)snooki… thats like the championship game there….
im stuck between jesse james and charlie sheen
Excellent bracket. Can’t wait to watch this one over the next few weeks.
you forgot “Liberal Cock Suckers”
If a woman is sucking your cock, is her political orientation truly relevant? Even her sexual orientation doesn’t mean a whole lot at that point unless The Crying Game is playing somewhere in the background or you are a Scottish sociopath named Begbie.
aspernation
I love your thumbnail images, especially of Sarah Palin and Christine O’Donnell. Instead of mass animal deaths, why not put a picture of Kirk Cameron in there instead? Only Fox News would ask that pop tart if the animal deaths represented a sign of The Second Coming. Why isn’t Fox News asking if leaking radiation in Japan will give rise to a real-life Godzilla? They featured an astrologer as a market expert on Fox Business News, after all.
Sheen, Beck, NFL Owners, and Earthquakes
Why are the #1 and #2 seeds playing each other in the second round?
No Gaddafi??? What about the rest of jersey shore’s cast?
Gaddafi is going up tommarrow
There’s room for B. Palin and Sarkozy, but there’s no room for “I slept with an underage moroccan prostitute, but since I passed a law saying that I’m immune to prosecution, you can’t do jack squat about it?” Silvio Belusconi? Wait, is Holy Taco part of the media conglomerate owned by Papa B?
WBC for the win. They must have taken some Power Thirst because they’re going to win at being a douchebag forever!
Why no Bill O Reilly?
Your bracket structure is all kinds of messed up. In each division, the #1 seed should be at the top, and the #2 at the very bottom. This means, they should not have to face off until they divisional championship if at all. Having a #1 vs. #2 matchup in the 2nd round is just stupid. Take a look at the official NCAA tournament brackets for an example of how the seeds should be laid out.
Otherwise, looking forward to the douchebag tournament as I do every year!
Fixed!
Notable snubs; John Edwards, Pete Carroll, Mark Sanchez,
John Boehner, Barney Frank, Derek Jeter, Jim Tressel, Urban
Meyer, Lindsey Lohan, Floyd Mayweather, Tim Tebow and anyone
who has ever been on a reality TV show. Huge douchebags
all!
Where is Rush Limbaugh? The dude laughs at Japan after the earthquake and he doesn’t even make the cut? Fail.
You seem like a douchebag and we didn’t include you either, it happens.
You should put yourself on there you didn’t even know how to set the bracket up right dumbass.
I am on there. I dunno man, we have words and pictures, if you still can’t grasp it all maybe you should just go take a nap.
Haha Ian, thats funny. RAS is a douchebag. Maybe RAS should be a #1 seed next year