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The 5 Worst Teenage Cover Bands

We’d like to salute these youngsters for getting up onstage and giving it their all. If these kids keep practicing, they’ll surely get better. But until then, let’s all enjoy the lighter side of teenagers learning how to play their instruments.


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5. Iron Man – Unnamed 7th Grade Talent Show Band
When this first starts out you’re sort of like, “Hey, this isn’t too bad.” And then the drums kick in and the rhythm goes to hell and then it all just completely falls apart. Sort of like Ozzy’s life.


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4. Smells Like Teen Spirit – The Hackley School Band
Say what you will about her vocal stylings, but the singer has got moxie. But the high point of this video, in my opinion, is the searing solo at the 2:52 mark. That dude can totally shred.


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3. Everlong – Unnamed Talent Show Band
The music here is really good. Everyone’s in tune and the guitars sound remarkably like the original. But if they’re going to make it on the teenage cover band circuit, they may want to look into getting a new singer.


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2. By The Way – Another Unnamed Teenage Band
I think these guys are Scandanavian, so I can’t fault him for not knowing the English lyrics. But no white culture can be forgiven for beat boxing. I’m sorry.


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1. The Final Countdown
Shouldn’t 14-year-olds try to cover something edgy like Slayer or Pantera or Sepultura or Cannibal Corpse? Covering Europe is a lot like covering Barry Manilow.

Other crap to look at:
Dacia Renee is attractive (gorillamask)
Bouncer drops guy with one-punch knockout (nothingtoxic)
Pizza guy drops pizza on ground, picks it up, delivers it (EJB)
Tiffani Amber Thiessen’s big fat triathlon (drunkenstepfather)
What if girls thought like guys? (comedy.com)
Pania Rose hates clothes (doubleviking)
Josh Brolin would F his dad (theblemish)
Geraldine Neumann is attractive (cameltap)
There is such a thing as a dumb question (afrojacks)
10 Songs about losing your virginity (thefrisky)
Brad Pitt loves gay marriage (popeater)
Marisa Miller in Malibu Magazine (gearcrave)
10 Funniest baseball quotes (uncoached)
Introducing the chest hair bikini top (tastybooze)

43 Responses to "The 5 Worst Teenage Cover Bands"

  1. dusto says:

    You know what you guys, fuck you. Seriously, how do you think people become good, its not by playing to themselves in the mirror. Go ahead and reply to this if you have ever played in front of people and you haven’t been this bad once. Oh, and if you say you have, you’re a fucking liar.

    I’m all for people doing there thing, and if your thing happens to be playing music it doesn’t happen all at once. I applaud the courage it takes to do this sort of thing. Apparently the rest of you commenting are basement musicians. Good for you, letting everyone watch you play a song to some midi track on YouTube isn’t the same thing as playing in front of people.

    Good for those guys in the videos, fuck the rest of you.

  2. dusto says:

    You know what you guys, f*ck you. Seriously, how do you think people become good, its not by playing to themselves in the mirror. Go ahead and reply to this if you have ever played in front of people and you haven’t been this bad once. Oh, and if you say you have, you’re a fucking liar.

    I’m all for people doing there thing, and if your thing happens to be playing music it doesn’t happen all at once. I applaud the courage it takes to do this sort of thing. Apparently the rest of you commenting are basement musicians. Good for you, letting everyone watch you play a song to some midi track on YouTube isn’t the same thing as playing in front of people.

    Good for those guys in the videos, f*ck the rest of you.

  3. Will says:

    #2 is really good.. everyone can at least admit that its entertaining

  4. Mike says:

    On the other hand, this one isn’t that bad!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQwqrPF9mLw

  5. Bob Goulet says:

    Dusto,

    It’s killing us! Are you Scandinavian?

  6. kev says:

    this lady does a mean hambone filthyrichmond.com

  7. Stefan says:

    The writing behind #2 is Polish, and the accent is very typical Polish. Not to say that Scandinavians don’t have hilarious English accents, it’s just a different one. Try looking up Petter Solberg (a Norwegian rally driver) interviews, it’s pretty funny.

    Also, Final Countdown is awesome.

  8. roman says:

    the guys in video no. 2 performing RHCP are not scandinavian but polish because of the sign behind them

  9. M@RT!N says:

    nr. 2 is in Poland 100% the witting on posters behind them is in polish. Some village high school I bet.

  10. JIff Jones says:

    Heck yeah, #1 started wit hteh Guitar and its like Wow, whats this kid doing on this list, then the drums started! Bummer.

    JIff
    http://www.anonymize.us.tc

  11. Sonny White says:

    Wow dude. Number one totally rocked, until the drums started. http://www.anonymize.us.tc

  12. Dr. Henry Killenger says:

    Obviously ze author has not heards of ze Blackout Band. You lucky, lucky man.

  13. icepik1234 says:

    is it just me or is #2 a pretty decent cover. ok granted they are polish and dont know the words. but other than that the drums guitar and bass are all on time and fairly in tune. the singer has a fairly nice voice. ill give you that they certainly made it poppy and stuff but thats no reason for it to be number 2 on this list. what the hell is the guy talking about beatboxing in the subtitle. Like they didnt add any beatboxing? Theres one part they added where they guy kinda like sang out the guitar solo part but other than that nothing was added. the fast parts are already in the song.

  14. Manbearpig says:

    Hey Dusto.. you have a half, a little piece of a point.. But douchbag…YOU DONT PERFORM IN FRONT OF PEOPLE WITHOUT SOUNDING SOMEWHAT GOOD!!!

  15. Josh says:

    Well they’re closer to musicians than all the geeks playing Rockband and Guitar Hero.

  16. Bob says:

    dusto Says:
    September 19th, 2008 at 12:50 am
    You know what you guys, fuck you. Seriously, how do you think people become good, its not by playing to themselves in the mirror. Go ahead and reply to this if you have ever played in front of people and you haven’t been this bad once. Oh, and if you say you have, you’re a fucking liar.

    I’m all for people doing there thing, and if your thing happens to be playing music it doesn’t happen all at once. I applaud the courage it takes to do this sort of thing. Apparently the rest of you commenting are basement musicians. Good for you, letting everyone watch you play a song to some midi track on YouTube isn’t the same thing as playing in front of people.

    Good for those guys in the videos, fuck the rest of you.

    —-I titoally agree with you. Right on.

  17. John says:

    2 is actually pretty good, i couldn’t listen to the rest for more than 5 seconds before turning it off…

  18. Anonymous says:

    the europe cover band starts the song with the second verse.

  19. Mark says:

    Dudes, you’ve gotta be kidding me. I’ve been a musician for like 8 years now, and there’s no excuse for half of these kids being as terrible as they are. Honestly, if you’re gonna put yourself on stage like that, at least know the song you’re trying to play. There’s no excuse for forgetting power chords, getting off time every 2 seconds, or just being legitimately bad. Granted, the polish band was fairly decent and you can’t give them much shit since I’m sure english isn’t their first (or even their second) language. Yeah, I give the dudes props for waddling on the stage and having the stones to play in front of people, but I can honestly say the first show I ever played as a band didn’t come until after nearly 2 years of practicing and perfecting the songs I was going to play.

    So YOU can fuck off as far as I’m concerned. =]

  20. WindSurferX says:

    You can play in public if you want but if you suck and people feel compelled to voice their opinions of said performance. . . well shit, that’s just constructive criticism as far as I’m concerned. If people don’t tell these kids how bad they are what motivation will they have to become better? They’ll wrongfully think they rock face, invariably put out an album, and at some point play a show with Paris Hilton and the suicide rate will sky rocket. PEOPLE’S LIVES ARE AT STAKE!

  21. TheGreatShocka says:

    Seriously, how hard is it to play a Nirvana song?! Four power chords for the intro part, on the first 3 inches of the fretboard. There are many resources to learn this song properly, yet these kids have attempted to use none of these. I understand wanting to be a rock star, but when you have no desire to learn concepts like tuning your instruments, rhythm and time, or general practice habits then you may as well not try.

    I have performed in front of others with less than six months of guitar experience, and you know what? I actually knew the song, knew the lyrics, and practiced the hell out of it beforehand. Needless to say I didn’t get booed off the stage. It wasn’t light the world on fire, but I at least portrayed some sense of competency at my instrument.

  22. The answer is 42 says:

    The girl in # 4 is hot.

    Can’t sing for shit, but still hot

  23. sammy says:

    I agree I am a basement musician because Im scaredto play infront of people.. its not easy

  24. Musically challenged says:

    I agree with Dusto… every musician has (or should have) at least one bad performance under their belt. And remember, this is grade school kids we’re talking about here, so they’re just getting started. Practicing for 2 years before venturing to play in front of another person is kind of missing the point of being a musician. Sure, you should always strive to be good, but the point is to entertain other people, even if you fail at accomplishing that the first few time.

    I remember the first (and last) time I played in front of a group. I was playing bass to a song by the Temptations for a class, so a friend was backing me up on the guitar. My speed varied throughout the whole thing, the sheet music fell of its stand (so I had to stop while the guitarist played over me to pick it up), and then I had to pause again for a couple of bars because the recently fallen sheet music was now upside down on the stand.

    It was awful. But I learned. That’s the point.

  25. Nasta says:

    “Is the final countdown.. is to be me nooooo … toorooroootootoo ” =))
    Muhahaaaa

  26. Anonymous says:

    ..Hey…did you find five dollars too???

  27. Anonymous says:

    Hilarious!!!!!

  28. TheGreatShocka says:

    How could this list leave out PJCat’s cover of Reptilia?!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zsbuqckJDY

  29. Manbearpig (Totally Cereal) says:

    Do you happen to notice the “mosh” nazi that comes in a mission during #2 (pun intended) to break up tha “madness”

  30. pepelicious says:

    I love how in #2 the singer’s getting all wound up during the intro and then just kinda stops and looks over at the guitarist when he starts the main riff like “Dude, did you forget the distortion pedal? I’ve seen hamsters more hardcore than you.”

  31. WindSurferX says:

    Just when I begin to think, “I am not really tonally inclined, I need to just put my axe down and move on to other endeavors” I see these five righteous freedom fighting bands screaming, “You’re doing all right after all”.

  32. matt pilot says:

    i could feel the uncomfortableness of every parent at that show through my screen

  33. Scandinavian says:

    #2 is not scandinavian! :)

  34. That Europe cover band is horrible, they should learn from this guy:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAnoiZsrfRg

  35. akhrikas says:

    the second i like it

  36. Dave says:

    I think #2 is Polish or something…
    But their all _really_ bad… omfg…

  37. elborracho says:

    Tfrust me,none of them have ANYTHING on this terrible teenage band..

    theyre doing a cover of crappy Avenged Sevenfold….yikes

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybDCObQRRM4

  38. Su says:

    ROFL at #1. It’s so funny how the singer is pacing back and forth as if we are it’s preys!!

  39. HurfDurf says:

    What kind of a tool would refer to Cannibal Corpse as edgy kid music?
    Go back to the radio.

  40. Pepper says:

    Some have already commented on the fact that vid #2 isn’t scandinavian… I think they might be from Poland but I’m not sure?

    However the guys covering Europe is (oddly enough?) Swedes!

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It is endless.<br /> I am from Bangladesh and now study English, give please true I wrote the following sentence: “Girl on cars, a cnet blog by laura burstein, a freelance automotive biggest is avtovaz, which sells more.Constantly updated news and information about automotive.”</p> <p>Best regards <img src='http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_sad.gif' alt=':(' class='wp-smiley' /> , Manda.</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment even thread-even depth-1" id="li-comment-133973"> <div id="comment-133973" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">P Rockstars</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/the-5-worst-teenage-cover-bands/#comment-133973">December 29, 2009 at 9:41 am</a></div> <p>Gotta start somewhere – good for them getting up there and trying it out. 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