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The 6 Most Narcissistic Celebrity Dads

Some celebrities and sports figures are so full of themselves that they turn their kid’s names into a carnival of ego and arrogance. Here are the six worst.

Roger Clemens
Kids: Koby Aaron, Kory Allen, Kacy Austin, and Kody Alec
You must really love yourself, and hate your children, when feel the need to start all of your kid’s names with K (for “strikeout”). If the Rocket has any more offspring he may want to consider using P (for “perjury”) or O (for “Oh my God, I am going to jail.”)

Sylvester Stallone
Kids: Sage, Seargeoh, Sophia, Sisten and Scarlet
Seargeoh and Sisten? You know you can’t get enough of yourself when you give all your kids names that start with the first letter of your name, and don¹t even give a shit that two of them spell out the sound you make when you accidentally sit on your nutsack.

Kevin Ferguson, a.k.a. Kimbo Slice
Kids: Kevin, Kevin, Kevina, Kassandra, Kiara and Kevlar
At the risk of getting beaten senseless, I had to throw Kimbo on this list. First of all, the letter K isn¹t the easiest letter to start a name with. That’s why it’s worth 5 points in scrabble. So, to not only give all six of your kids names that start with K, but four of which start with Kev, well, on the narcissism scale that’s up there with “I masturbate to a picture of myself masturbating.” I will now go into hiding.

Robert Rodriguez
Kids: Rocket Valentin, Racer Maximilliano, and Rebel Antonio
You know you’re a self-absorbed douchewad when you try to use your children’s names to impress Quentin Tarantino. I know Rodriguez thinks he’s edgy, but he made three installments of the spy kids movie, the last of which was just two hours of him sitting in a gold room, counting money. He did the patented “start the name with the first letter of my name” but then upped it a notch when he decided to give them a second name that may be cool for him to talk about at the sundance film festival.

Deion Sanders
Kids: Deiondra and Deion Jr.
Wanting to name your son Deion Jr. is completely understandable. But don’t squeeze your name into your daughter’s name just to feed your insatiable ego and carry on your larger-than-life persona. It’s almost as if he expects the newborn to come high-stepping out of his wife’s vagina while wearing a do-rag and yelling “Primetime!” It’s a child, not an interception.

George Foreman
His sons are named: George Jr., George III, George IV, George V and George VI George Travis Walls
Naming every son after yourself isn’t egotism, it’s obsessive compulsion. Here’s what goes on inside George’s mind every time he has another son: “Raarrr! George good! George name George again! And again! One more George! How many George that make now? George lose count. George no like math! Raaar! Please buy my grill.”

17 Responses to "The 6 Most Narcissistic Celebrity Dads"

  1. bob says:

    What about Will Smith and Jermaine Jackson?

  2. AlcoLOL says:

    My friend went to a Yankees game one time and saw old Roger walking away from him. He quickly ran up and said “Hey Roger Clemens, I’m your biggest fan! Can I have your autograph!?” to which he replied with “Sure, do you have 5 dollars?”. After that he went to one of my neighboring towns, to a poor neighborhood, and charged kids at school 5 bucks an autograph. What a total douchebag.

  3. Bod says:

    Kevin Ferguson has 2 children named Kevin?

    what the fuck?

  4. JW says:

    One of these guys did Steriods! I’m not saying who, but one of the DID!! chou-clemins-cogh

  5. syrup says:

    actually JW 2 of them are on roids

  6. sb says:

    hello i’ll put money that robert rods the only one who hasn’t done roids

  7. Kokoyasu says:

    woooot george foreman hahahaha kimbo haha

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  9. JW says:

    YO! ADRIAN!! – has nothing to do with this post, but I had to let it out.

  10. Buddy Ice says:

    Holy shit, I didn’t know Sly Stallone died. And how did these photos get leaked from the morgue?

  11. Andy says:

    Not to mention Sly put his kid in Rocky V. It must have been a punishment for bad grades.

  12. Blake Williams says:

    moon unit and dwezel

  13. Pantspantspantspants! says:

    I’m naming my kid Pants Pants McGee.

  14. Toofer says:

    i laughed really hard at the quentin tarantino line

  15. Daniel says:

    Cracked.com has a list to supplement this if you need some more, http://www.cracked.com/article_15765_20-most-bizarre-celebrity-baby-names.html

  16. waterypoo says:

    George, pick up your socks…

  17. JW says:

    Is there a bidder douche right now than Roger Clemens?