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The 8 Worst Bosses To Work For

Between having to show up at work and having to actually do work, no one likes having a job. But it doesn’t get any worse than working for one of these eight annoying bosses.


8. THE BEST FRIEND BOSS
DESCRIPTION: This boss thinks that happy employees are productive employees. But, sadly, he also thinks treating you like one of his frat buddies will make you a happy employee. So he’s always inviting you out for drinks or over to his house on the weekends. What he doesn’t realize is that “hanging out with your boss is a lot like “work. And no one likes that.

TYPICAL CONVERSATION:

BEST FRIEND BOSS: (As he’s playfully punching you in the arm.) What’s shakin’ sport?!?! You catch the game last weekend? Hoo boy, sure was a doozy. We missed you down at Applebee’s, man. It was seriously off the chizain. Yes!

YOU: Yeah sorry I missed it. Sounds like a good time.

BEST FRIEND BOSS: No worries, pal. We can totally bro-down this weekend. (He gets you in a headlock.) I am not leaving Applebee’s until I see you pound a bucket of suds! Or your fired! I am totally kidding, bro. But you gotta show up, man. Yes!

YOU: Well, I was going to just watch the game with my kids. I don’t get to see them as often

BEST FRIEND BOSS: Bring “em with you! Show “em what the old man can do!

YOU: But, I

BEST FRIEND BOSS: (slowly lets you out of headlock) Hey, not to bring it down, but do you have those Jenkins files ready? I really need them for my quarterly report to the board of trustees this Friday.

YOU: I’m almost done with them. Should have them to you by Thursday.

BEST FRIEND BOSS: No problem, pal! Don’t want you think I’m “the man or anything. I’m just one of you…the little cogs in the wheel. Yes sir. Salt of the earth. But seriously, Applebee’s! Think about it! Yes!

7. THE “WHAT DO YOU THINK?” BOSS

DESCRIPTION: They treat every decision in the office like they’re a 17-year-old girl at a slumber party deciding whether or not she should lose her virginity to her boyfriend of three and a half years. They have complete disregard for the fact that you might actually be working on something important, and instead interrupt you so that you can weigh in on whether or not the font on the business cards should be changed.

(You’re quietly working at your desk when a tap is heard on the wall next to you)

WHAT DO YOU THINK BOSS: Hey, you busy? Can I pick your brain real quick?

YOU: Actually, I’m right in the middle of-

WDYT BOSS: Soooo, I got this e-mail from corporate about this seminar for increasing productivity. They said I didn’t have to go, but I don’t know. What do you think?

YOU: I don’t know.

WDYT BOSS: They want me to go huh? They wouldn’t send it if they didn’t want me to, right?

YOU: I don’t know.

WDYT BOSS: Yeah, you’re right. I should definitely go. Thanks.


6. SILENT BROODING BOSS
DESCRIPTION: No matter what you do, this boss is always an impossible-to-read silent, stoic rock. Is he happy with what you’ve done or is he on the verge of firing you? You could turn in your best work yet, stay late, go the extra mile, but this boss never shows any gratitude and instead just treats you like a disappointed dad.

YOU: Here’s the report you asked for.

SILENT BROODING BOSS:

YOU: I made collated color copies and bound them by hand using a rare Indonesian leather. I also created customized covers for everyone who will be at the meeting using their high school yearbook photo and 14 karat gold calligraphy.

SILENT BROODING BOSS: Leave it on my desk.

YOU: Also, I went ahead and paid for a sky writer to write the name of our client’s company in the sky right as the meeting is finished. I paid for it myself, just to cut costs, ya know. I’m always thinking about that.

SILENT BROODING BOSS: That will be all.

YOU: Tell me I did good

SILENT BROODING BOSS: What?

YOU: Sorry. I’ll be at my desk.

5. THE STAYS LATE AND MAKES YOU STAY LATE WITH HIM, BECAUSE HE HATES HIS FAMILY

DESCRIPTION: They receive several calls during the day from either their spouse, who’s upset at a derogatory comment they made last night about Patrick Dempsey’s character in Grey’s Anatomy, or from a teacher at their child’s school, complaining about their kid being caught “urinating in the 4th graders Guinea Pig cage. After they receive the call, they normally walk outside their office and let you know that it will be a late night tonight because of some project that twenty five seconds ago either didn’t exist, or was previously thought to have been finished. If you ask any questions whatsoever as to why you’re staying late, be prepared to feel the anger of 20 years of a shitty marriage.

(Stay late boss exits his office and takes a deep breath, standing silent for a couple seconds. Walks over to your desk.)

STAY LATE BOSS: Where do we keep records of our paid accounts.

YOU: On the computer.

SLB: We should have hard copies. Have everyone print them out in quadruplicate, starting with 2003. Let’s file one set by name, one by date, one by amount paid, and one by thickness. This has to be done before we leave.

YOU: Is it possible we could tackle this tomorrow? Just because some of us had plans to go see-

SLB: You don’t think I have plans? You think I wanna be here instead of home with my family that I love?


4. BOSS WHO MAKES YOU DO HIS SHIT WORK
DESCRIPTION: Your title might be Managing Editor, Regional Manager or Vice President, but this boss will still find a way to turn you into his secretary.

SHIT WORK BOSS: Hey John, can you come into my office when you get a second?

YOU: Sure thing.

SHIT WORK BOSS: Oh, and on your way in, could you bring me a double espresso with two Splenda and just a little bit of skim milk?

YOU: We don’t have an espresso maker here. I’d have to go out to get that.

SHIT WORK BOSS: Thanks.

3. THE MICRO-MANAGER BOSS

DESCRIPTION: This boss treats his employees like they’re a group of mentally retarded campers that have been taken to a water park for the day. Every time you are given even the smallest task, the micro-manager checks up on you five minutes later just to make sure that you didn’t go way off track when he told you to put a list of 11 names in alphabetical order. Then after he’s made you feel a baby being told how to make doody, he tries to smooth it over by saying he was just looking out for you.

(You’re just about to hit “COPY on the copy machine)

MICRO-MANAGER BOSS: Hey, you set the machine to color right?

YOU: Yeah, you said color copies.

MB: Right, so you hit the button for color, before you hit the copy button?

YOU: Yes.

MB: And then you typed a 1 and a 5 for fifteen copies, because if you don’t do that, it doesn’t know how many copies to make.

YOU: (clenching teeth) Yes.

MB: K, cool, do your thing. Just wanted to make sure everything was cool and you didn’t have to do any extra work. These fully automated copy machines are a little crazy.

2. BOSS WHO TAKES ALL THE CREDIT
DESCRIPTION: No matter how many weekends you come into the office or late nights you put in on a project, this boss steals all the credit for your hard work. Despite coming up with zero ideas and putting no actual work into creating your latest report, he/she always uses the “I instead of “We when presenting it to his superiors.

TYPICAL CONVERSATION

(In a conference room with the President of your company)

BOSS WHO TAKES ALL THE CREDIT: After a lot of long weekends and countless long nights here at the office, I finally got the Primus Telecommunications Account finished. And I can tell you, all my hard work paid off.

PRESIDENT OF YOUR COMPANY: Well done. We really appreciate all the time and energy you spent on this. If this goes well, I can safely say you’ll be looking at a promotion. I don’t know how you do all this by yourself. You should probably hire a few more people to help you out.

BOSS WHO TAKES ALL THE CREDIT: What can I say, I love to work, sir.

YOU: Ahhh, shit.

1. THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BOSS

DESCRIPTION: They’re terrified of actual confrontation, so instead they just make snide comments about your performance, until you give the desired answer they’re looking for. Then once you respond seriously and they’re aware their passive aggression has forced you into doing what they want you to do, they question loudly to other co-workers as to why you’re unable to take what was so clearly a perfectly crafted joke.

(You’re walking out the door at 6:15)

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BOSS: Hey, tryin’ to catch happy hour, huh?

YOU: No, actually my daughter’s sick and I wanted to get home a little early.

PAB: That’s cool, I’ll just knock out those reports for you buddy.

YOU: I’m gonna finish up those reports at home.

PAB: Whoooaaaa! Lighten up guy! I’m just messing with you! (points to you as he looks to other employees) Look at this guy, Mr. serious! Haha!

37 Responses to "The 8 Worst Bosses To Work For"

  1. S3rv3rm4n says:

    Umm yeah……..I’m gonna need you to come in on Sunday……MMMMM’Kay???

  2. Hossi says:

    shit, I remember my senior year in high school. I started to work at Hollister. THE AND MOST WORST BOSS is the gay boss that makes a move on you. Holy shit I hated my work, when the boss says to take some clothes on him you know he is going to go butt pirate on your ass and if you say no you get fired, you say yes you get broken asshole and fired when he gets bored

    I told him I would buy him tampons to prevent the ass leakage since he fuckes every guy he can and told him I was all for the pussy so it was a no no.

    yep, my ass got fired( I gave him the tampons the day after I got fired, am I a nice guy or what?)

  3. Adam says:

    How about the boss that makes you work with another employee that totally sucks ass so that he doesn’t get into trouble because no one else is there to wipe his ass and fix his mistakes?

  4. Phil Mares says:

    The same is true in a religious community of Catholic priests.
    However, the boss (religious superior) is someone you live
    and work with together every day. A real challenge!

  5. le says:

    my last “boss” had traits of several in that list.. question is, if you were a boss, which one would you be? I would be the I just sh1t myself boss, because I just did one in my pants and it’s smells GOOD!

  6. Pratik says:

    I know my last boss was an alright guy, but after reading this list I really feel lucky to have had him as my boss. I didn’t run into any of this assholish behavior at all… well maybe a little of the micro-managing but that’s about it.

  7. MAYES says:

    WHAT ABOUT THE BOSS THAT PEES IN YOUR MOUTH

  8. Phil says:

    Have worked for most of these. The ABSOLUTE worst is the insecure boss that’s in just over his head and screams at his people constantly. The survivors threw a party when ours was canned. The ones that didn’t survive him had the best time.

  9. Luke says:

    LookingForNewJob: You too, huh?

  10. Employee says:

    Don’t forget the Bully Boss

    Description: Wicked, seething sense of anger. Overreacts to the most minor offenses. Has a high turnover rate under his/her “leadership.”

  11. Jason says:

    Type 9: The even-though-you-followed-my-instructions-to-the-letter-you’re-the-one-who-fucked-up boss

    Typical conversation:

    BOSS: Why is our bank account showing a negative balance?

    YOU: You told me to pay everyone from that account.

    BOSS: No I didn’t. But if I did, I meant from the other account.

    YOU: Well you said …

    BOSS: Look, I’m not retarded. Would I tell you to do something that stupid?

    YOU: (uh, yeah). No, ofcourse not. My bad.

    BOSS: You fucking moron.

    YOU: Yeah, I know (that you’re a douche).

    Next time he tells you to do something, he’ll morph into Micro-Managing Boss, telling you to write it down (so YOU don’t fuck up AGAIN) and call you in 10 minutes to see if you did it, and how.

    Yes this is a rant about my Dutch boss (I added Dutch because even though they’re cool people to hang out with, they’re total dicks to work with).

  12. Is Michael Scott available?

  13. poeboy says:

    I wanna work for the Boss Who Takes All The Credit. She’s hot.

  14. TheBoz says:

    I hate it when the boss takes all the credit. That is why I would Hate Fuck the hell out of this boss who takes all the credit. Then I would give her credit for how well she gives head.

  15. dead head banger says:

    Boss who takes all the credit is pretty. But also kind of a bitch.

  16. Anonymous says:

    How bout the Give The world 2 you boss
    (After 10 hours of unloading trucks)
    You: Im just gonna grab a drink of water
    Boss: What on company time? IM paying you to work not hangout with your buddies

    You: I realized that but i skipped my last break to finish…

    Boss: Its always ME ME ME take take take Common guys im running a buisness here you gotta give a little remember that 5 cent raise i gave you last year…….

  17. Chizo says:

    How about the boss who doesn’t delegate at all, does everything himself and then complains to you that you’re a shit-hole ignorant with nada business knowledge?

  18. Anonymous says:

    What about the bi-polar boss? One second, nice and friendly, but another second goes by, and you have to kiss her ass to keep your job?

  19. Anonymous Tipster says:

    Here’s a good one:

    You live in an isolated setting at your workplace. Your boss is a woman in her late 40s who is desperately holding onto any shred of youth she has left.

    You, her young female assistant, are not allowed to talk to her husband. Even though you live on the same frakking island, and it is unavoidable. When you do have the audacity to respond in a professional manner to a query of his, you get the silent treatment all day.

    What do you call that boss?

  20. Jake says:

    I’ve probably made the mistake of putting down my last boss as, “Ridiculous Employer” for my reason for leaving that job on applications. What I should’ve put was, “My boss was a stupid son of a bitch piece of shit cunt.” He was the insecure boss with a little bit of Micro manager thrown in. So not only did I get yelled at for things as small as forgetting to make a sample copy before doing a 10 page job on a color copy machine, he stood behind me and made sure I’d literally measured the page top to bottom, side to side… He made me measure paper. 8 1/2 x 11 inch paper. I had to measure it. everytime. wtf. Just writing this made me realize what a cuntmonkey that guy is.

  21. meow says:

    boss who usually takes all the credit is also usually boss who blames everyone else when things go wrong..

  22. STUMBLE96 says:

    you forgot the boss who flirts with you so they dont have to do there bad work

  23. ^_^ says:

    Greatest boss in the world

    HANK SCORPIO

  24. Anonymous says:

    You forgot the hostage taker. I worked for my last boss that would call you in her office at least once a week and just BS for 4 hours then later in the week ask you how come you did not finish everything that day.

  25. Anonymous says:

    How about a boss who announces in team meetings that he plays favorites with his people. He then takes work away from an “undesireable” and gives it to his golden children, then writes the undesireable up for not meeting goals and poor job performance. This later leads to termination. he even brags about the stellar raises he gives to his golden children. The unethical, corrupt bastard then stands in the same meeting and after terminating a team member for not lying under oath (To save his ass), announces her termination. He then says “Now that I fired (insert name here), she’ll be hurting for money, she won’t even be able to afford her chemo treatments”. He then begins to laugh. That employee was being treated for cancer. This guy, Chuck Bos, Farmers Insurance SIU Manager, truly is a sick dimented asshole with a “Holier Than Thou” attitude .

  26. newhamshire says:

    how about the crazy boss who loooks you in the back room and terrorizes you, breaks you down mentally, and then tells another employee how you cried infront of him?

  27. It was seriously off the chizain. Yes!

  28. Manbearpig says:

    GReat work here.. Just cam across this site recenlty.. Love it.. YES!

  29. daruffian says:

    Classic material!

  30. Tyler says:

    Now do 8 worst employees to have

  31. Jay T. says:

    That was so dead on… I’m truly impressed.

  32. aaron says:

    what about the boss that makes you go into his office and dance for him?

  33. Brien says:

    Totally random, but the silent brooding boss picture is of Jean Todt, head of the Ferarri Formula 1 team.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Todt

  34. LookingForNewJob says:

    What about the boss whose sexually frustrated wife makes overt, unwanted advances at you in some sort of weird 80′s USA channel late night movie scenario, while he is happy that his annoying wife is out of his business when you’re around, so he constantly invites you over, until one day she makes you drink too much, and you’re caught in a compromising situation which he will then use as grounds to divorce her, she loses interest in you, and your girlfriend leaves you because she thinks you cheated on her, so you’re left jobless, and womanless and are forced to drown your sorrows in bottles of tequila in a small anonymous town in mexico and end up stumbling into an illegal drug trafficking operation which restores your confidence and mojo, but prevents you from ever returning to American soil….hypothetically speaking? what about that one smarty pants?

  35. clk says:

    Boss is always early when you are late
    and
    late when you are early

    You will never impress your boss.

  36. JoeBoo says:

    Nick Stuller from The Financial Information Group:
    Me – walking out the door at 5:31pm to go see my Grandfather in the hospital.
    Nick – takin a half day?
    Me – Fuck you nick
    * I should note this was my last day.

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