Children’s books generally fall into one of three categories; they’re either goofy and pointless, simplistic versions of adult stories or they’re education disguised as entertainment. Nearly any kids book you can think of can be categorized in those ways. And then there’s the work of Judith Vigna who you might argue is trying to give kids educational works but is arguably more interested in a mix of unintentionally hilarity and abject horror. Behold the many amazing works of Judith Vigna! (please play some dramatic music here).
I Wish Daddy Didn’t Drink So Much
In the past I have photoshopped books to be this hilarious, but this is a real deal. On the one hand you can see how kids whose parents have drinking problems may require some kind of assistance or guidance to deal with what happens when there’s a violent drunk in the house. On the other hand, is that violent drunk buying them this book and reading it? Are they supposed to check it out at the library themselves? Where does this book work in the real, practical world? The book is intended for kids from preschool to grade 2 so few children who need this will e able to understand it on their own, they legitimately need their drunken lout of a father to read it to them. Or mom, but man is that a sad image.
She’s Not my Real Mother
Look at that total twat of a child. Oh man. She’s all “Lady, you may be porking my dad and I may really want this balloon, but don’t think I’m calling you mom. I call you Jezebel. You filthy, balloon pushing strumpet.” Yeah man. Clearly Vigna wanted to carve out a niche of helping kids deal with difficult family and social issues but everything just seems to very sad when she does. And is that dad in the background there, rocking his orange pea coat and thinking “why is little Muriel so distant? Janice is a great step mom, plus she loves oral” because call me crazy, that’s what I’m getting from him.
My Two Uncles
Nice try Vigna, but My Two Dads beat you to the punch years ago and no one liked that piece of shit show. In fairness it was allegedly not about gay men, but whatever. The fact that this book exists is curious in and of itself and shows we live in a world where we feel we need to explain gay people. You’re part of the problem, Vigna! Or maybe not, what do I know. I just think it’s funny that this is apparently about diorama making with gay men. No offense but that’s uncool for kids of all ages, and men of all sexual orientations. No one likes dioramas.
My Big Sister Takes Drugs
In what I assume is a spiritual sequel to My daddy Drinks Too Much, this book lets kids know why big sis keeps tying surgical tubing around her arms before giving herself injections and why she gives blowies for tiny bags of white powder in alleys. It’s a real knee slapper for the whole family.
The Little Boy who Loved Dirty and Almost Became a Superslob
Kids, do you like getting dirty when you play? You’re disgusting. Do you see the living fecal people on the cover of this book? They’ll come for you in your sleep and you’ll live in the dirty, dark sewer with them for the rest of your life, eating nothing but other people’s poop, unless you bathe, you disgusting monster.
Nobody Wants a Nuclear War
Nobody? Don’t put words into my mouth.