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The Douchiest Phone Message In History

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In all my years of studying douchebaggery, never have i encountered anything like this. It’s such pure and unadulterated douche that I wish I could bottle it and use just a drop of it at a time.

The back story on this is that a girl named Olga was out with her friends in the Marina district of San Francisco (known for being a popular hang out for douches), and she talked to this guy named Dmitri for all of two minutes. Then she gave him her card and said “give me a call.” The above is the messages he left. Listen to the whole thing, it just keeps getting better and better. I won’t even tell you my favorite parts because i don’t want to ruin anything. Just listen.

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1,171 Responses to "The Douchiest Phone Message In History"

  1. Benjamin Gohs says:

    LOL. He’s working on a movie script!
    Holy shit, I know a guy just like this. Full of himself doesn’t even come close to how much of a douche he is.

  2. This Is God says:

    This Douch Bag did not come from me. Satan is playing tricks with everyone.

  3. nuala666 says:

    WOW…i really have no idea how to respond to that. this is the douchiest douchbag i have ever heard in my life. the message is funny. and i cant believe there are people in the world like this. this guy and others like him need to be taken out back and taught lesson by all the women in the world. then we shall see if he ever dates again…

  4. Bick says:

    THIS GUY IS THE POSTER CHILD FOR THE DSM IV-TR, he is a FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK! With more than one personality disorder, and probably some major psychosis. I would’ve deleted him immediately. Poor Olga…

  5. jimmy 0 says:

    bahhha what a douche as howard stern would say. This guy should make a douche website and be the all star. Why would he even post this. He can be the walk on video douche. lol

  6. Hilarious!!! says:

    LOL Is this guy serious!!!!!! no wonder he’s single!! Woman JUST love when they are assumed to have mental issues!

  7. molson says:

    I thik that is Phil Helmuth…

  8. Melvetica says:

    Fake! He’s doing it for publicity. He’s got a documentary coming out soon. It’s posted on his web site. Which would explain why the audio on his messages is such good quality.

  9. Jeff says:

    What a complete asshole..oops, I mean douche. Yes, women come up to him 6 or 7 times a DAY to barf on him!

  10. deanusbeavo says:

    white skin please. uber douche.

  11. Anonymous says:

    How do these guys happen to the world?

  12. LJ says:

    PLEASE!! PLEASE!! PLEASE!! Release this JERKOFF’S telephone number so that he can hear from the rest of the world what a total JERKOFF he really is!!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. buck420 says:

    what a fucking faggot…im sure he gets the girl….not hes a fuckin butt lover obv.

  14. Jon says:

    sounds desperate for a guy “approached 6 or 7 times a day”

  15. dean says:

    lol Im working on a movie script .. IE im a unemployed duchebag

  16. WOW says:

    She should call him, after all he took the time to stop sucking his own cock and call her!

  17. danny says:

    I think this is just a viral thing. http://www.dimitrithelover.com/

  18. brandon says:

    This is absolutely absurd. Wow.

  19. felix says:

    Clearly Fake.
    It was done using an Arnie soundboard, not a real message

  20. Freakerita says:

    OMG! What a freak!!! Total narcissistic!!!

  21. menudo says:

    416 area code is toronto

  22. Gordon says:


  23. Anonymous says:

    I think he might have been calling from the oversized bluetooth headset inside his Hummer H3!

  24. Anonymous says:

    I guarantee that he likes little boys.

  25. Dmitri says:

    I cannot believe she still ahs not called me….I left a very detailed message and even mentioned that I am a complete catch. What is the deal?

  26. English Devil says:

    i belive tht “Olga” is a hairy man lady with boobs and a penis and rather large…

  27. Teo561 says:

    “I’m actually one of the few guys that doesn’t have something wrong with him.”
    -delusion of grandeurgreat
    -histrionic personality disorder
    in conclusion total D BAG

  28. Target says:

    Sounds to me like Shane nailed it.
    It’s too elaborate and detailed to be a guy who’s just in love with himself; reality performance artist (or fake) is about all that fits.
    Sadly, I can believe it works.
    Of course, any woman stupid enough to fall for him, well, let’s just say the rest of us guys are better off without those women.

  29. omfg says:

    hahahaha what a douche lol

  30. mike says:

    i really hate when people say fake
    but i could actually easily see this being staged

  31. silent speedy says:

    Unbelievable, this guy thinks there is nothing wrong whit him???
    unbelievable, no I mean realy. UNBELIEVABLE. this has to be photoshopped :)
    This is one of those skids where poe’s law apply’s to isnt it???

  32. ZZtop says:

    sure she is…

  33. Dyamo22 says:

    What a total cock smoker.

  34. he is gayyy says:

    Well he is coming across as some one very pushy and even though he sounds confident he is far from what confident men are all about. I can like a girl but I WILL NOT CALL twice under any circunstances…. IF she really likes me she will return the call and if she doesnt return the call Ohh well guess what… there are tons and tons of girls out there who would love to have something really special with me… he lost the point of the whole answering machine thing… you leave a brief messege and you dont fucking tell her how you feel on an machine…. huge mistakes… he was very repetitive and nothing exciting… he was out of line most of the time and he even told her that he recently got out of a relationship… GIRLSSSS do not need to know that Pall… the more mysterious you are the more hots she will develop for you… you dont tell her how many girls you did and you tell her what you do for a living but not in details (sound exciting) … LEARN PEEPS LEARN… WHAT THIS DBAG DID IS FAR FROM WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO..

  35. Dr. Ruth says:

    In an earlier post someone said that they agreed with this Dmitris and that Olga should have called back if she gave him her number. While it certainly would have been good manners of her to call back and tell him she’s no longer interested sometimes when a freak you’ve given your number to calls and makes it clear that they’re an aggressive person with no respect for womankind it’s a safer choice not to reply. While he didn’t make any actual threats, it’s clear he is not a good person to be around. Olga, if you’re reading this the safe choice over the “polite” choice… good choice. He can rot.

  36. Xosha says:

    “There is nothing wrong with me’

  37. ll says:


  38. Ashley says:

    LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA oh dear god!! that woman better run fast!!! and far away!!!

  39. thatguysucks says:

    Two words: restraining order! lol

  40. A.G. Awesome says:

    I just shit my pants, nuff said

  41. Shara says:

    why did u mute out his number! we coulda all called him back and told him how much of an asshat he really is!

  42. Oh how embarrassing. It reminds me of some of the stupider messages I have left in my time. I gotta hand it to this guy he is a bigger arse than I have ever been. God knows I have tried. I have tries oh lordy lordy I have tried. Oh come to a seminar Dimitri.

  43. DryQuiet says:

    I had to stop listening. The guy was embarrassing himself.

  44. victoria says:

    that guy was on dr.phil!!!!!
    hes suck a jerk!

  45. GORILLA UNIT says:

    OMG HILARIOUS! For all of you that aren’t from San Fran area – this is vintage guy talk. The city is chalk full of gay guys, they are like animals that ravage the city looking to bang anything that walks, disgusting! And if there not gay, they are these metro-sexual rich wannabee’s who are extremely confused about their sexuality and think they have some “sense of entitlement” because they went to Berkeley or Stanford or because they drive a beamer! It’s a circus out here and very disappointing, all girls stay away! If you like the skrawny guys who can’t leave the house without his shirt tucked in and ironed before he goes and gets his guppy starbucks coffee – than by all means come to Gay San Francisco

  46. Anonymous says:

    fucking dumb ass

  47. REMORSE says:


  48. Mr C says:

    She gave him her real phone number after 2 min?

    What a fucking slut.

  49. Mr X says:

    Typical arrogant, self-centered Greek scumbag. Go back to Greece.

  50. Ross says:

    I can’t believe this guy doesn’t realize that his overbearing willingness to control is a total turn off. This guy needs lessons on “How To Be Human, For Dummies.”

  51. hrtbrkr says:

    ok, I about pissed myself laughing at this bozo. let’s get one thing straight..Dmitri a player? hell no.. no player’s gonna call some girl 3x’s, you’re a loser if you’re making call after call. if you ain’t got the chops to catch lightning in a bottle once you ain’t got shit! whatta loser!

  52. Wondering says:

    I’m curious how many guys posting comments here have half his confidence

  53. Jolie says:

    Los Angeles is douchebag headquarters! IMO the more money and power a guy has … the higher his rate of douchebag recidivism. So sad … so very sad!

  54. must love dogs says:

    This guy is a complete jerk………I wouldn’t call him back…he needs to get a clue or buy one (afterall he indicated his wealth) he needs to get over himself. I can see why he is single. I would ask for his references since he indicated he is a great lover…….is that his opinion??

  55. Jensen says:

    The story behind this message is false. It took place in Toronto, not San francisco. His phone number is a 416 area code which is from Toronto. Get your facts straight before you post “the story behind”

  56. Caitlin says:

    but yeah this guy is definitely not from San Fran 416 is a Toronto area code and I bet you anything he moved down from Woodbridge when he hit 16 and owns several closets full of ed hardy t shirts and parasuco jeans

  57. Jon says:

    Sounds just like when I leave a message for a woman. It always works for me.

  58. eumaledictio says:

    Wow, that blew me away. This guy is from another planet.

  59. Vee says:

    I can’t stop laughing. If he’s the best San Fran has to offer, that’s just sad. Olga, you poor, elegant, passive-aggressive woman.

    Hey, Dmitri. Did it occur to you that she was being polite since you were up in her grill with your “unique approach” and was just trying to blow you off? My bet is that if Olga had politely declined him in person, she would have gotten the same speech, face to face.

    yee ha!

  60. MsT says:

    Oh wow. What a creep. Makes my flesh crawl just listening to him.

  61. Sandra says:

    Being a woman I couldn’t help but reply to this stupidity.

    Where to start,,,,,,

    This guy is a complete idiot. I mean come on… if I got a message from him like that I would have changed my number immediatly.
    What an arrogant prick,,,, and asking if she has mental issues? hmmmm,,, seems the shoe is on the other foot there buddy. The guy should be institutionalized for God sakes.

    I can see why he is “available”. Who the hell would want a jackass like that?
    And it really doesn’t matter if he is from Toronto, Sanfrancisco or Mars,, he is a total dickhead!

    I could elaborate alot more but I’d be wasting my time on that asshole and I figured I’ve wasted enough of my time as it is just listening to his crap.

    REAL women don’t give guys like him a second glance or even share the same air that we breathe.

    Why don’t you take a quick trip to Whitby site(phsyc ward),, maybe you’ll find your soulmate there. hehe Cause you sure as hell won’t find a “normal” woman with that crap spewing out of your mouth!

    With that said,, I’m outta here!

  62. lol says:

    dmitri is pathetich & desperate. 1 phonecall would’ve been enough lol.. Douche!

  63. holycrap says:

    Let the romance begin.. wow! He thinks he is ALL that doesnt he? pretty low..

  64. Ghandi says:

    Lol…. woah woah…. what the fuck…. what a prick

  65. joe snapperina says:


  66. OleBagLady says:

    I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and thought this was a fake. So I did a little more research. This is “Dementri’s” business website….


    If a person goes to the “Wrongfully Accused/ Criminal Charges and Sexual Harassement (his misspelling)” part of that site, he or she will see that this individual (in my opinion) is….. I will leave it up to each of you to end that sentence! But remember, this is a man that believes and I quote straight from his pages –

    “In order to better understand how The SECOND OPINION® Medical-Legal Consultants Group Inc. can help a Defense Lawyer fight against INSTITUTIONALIZED MEDICAL FRAUD, it is important for one to be aware of the following facts:

    * Over 60% of women suffer from a psychological disease, including depression, eating disorders, and addictions, at some time during their lives
    * Even the most minor medical or psychological disorder can greatly affect both one’s judgement and memory of past events
    * Many prescription drugs, including oral contraceptives, antidepressants, and sleeping pills, have side effects which could hinder both judgement and memory, and when taken with alcohol such effects are greatly potentiated (doctors/pharmacists rarely warn patients of these consequences)
    * Women use medical excuses, such as PMS and “Battered Wife Syndrome, in order to avoid conviction, reduce their sentence, or make the conviction of their partner more likely–and such claims are rarely if ever challenged successfully by Defense Lawyers and Prosecutors
    * Men rarely use medical diseases to avoid conviction or have their sentences reduced.”

    I thought that as a legitimate business, the website is quite infantile. What do all of you think? I mean, come on, animated graphics?

  67. OleBagLady says:

    I thought I would include this site for verification to my previous post.


  68. krrrrssstttta says:

    He’s Greek though.
    Greek men scare me.

  69. Melissa says:

    Yikes! Yikes! Yikes!!! and he was one of the only guys that didn’t have anything wrong with him :) I’m just glad that that wasn’t my answering machine!!

  70. Neil says:

    Wow this guy needs help!!!

  71. ron says:

    this guy could define asshole in the dictionary

  72. Jughead says:

    What a T@sser!!!!

  73. maz says:

    surely u americans cant be that stupid – is a joke u retards – its a rip off of an australian comedian guido hatzis who does similar thing but much funnier and surprisingly bit more obvious than this…its not often u hear subtle american humour

  74. a says:

    this guyy is a fxxkin insecure morron

  75. fondacox says:

    wow he’s a lady killer fer sure, smooth operator!!!

  76. Archerthewiser says:

    i’ve never actually commented on a web site like this, but holy shit.

    i kind of want to sit down and have a drink with this man just to see what the hell else this man will say. pragmatic problem maybe? abused by a greek uncle that idolized men at work just a little to much? i don’t know either way this guy make oj simpson look angelic

  77. Dana says:

    YOu should look that up – passive agressive – because clearly you are an idiot…

    I don’t leave comments but seriously I felt compelled and now I see that so many other people felt compelled too.

    All I can say is – I can’t believe his is completely single…

  78. mapod says:

    Dwight Shroot would be slightly amused at this……….

  79. d says:

    This guy is in desperate need for a brutal fucking flogging.

  80. manshow says:

    his persona is’nt cutting it..his tone is all wrong, but what are his tonal choices anyways? as a man hes got few choices, the killer nerd voice (he tried that).
    Or maybe a redneck tone,,perhaps a gangsta tone would do? or maybe a redneck trucker gangster tone? that white nerd sensitive shit hes slangin aint werkin.
    however when you examine anything to its detail it becomes ridiculess…
    kind of like 800 people with nuthin better to do than goe nerd bashing.
    about as popular as picking on hippies ,becuz you dont think theyll get up and kick your azz. shout out to all the gangsta impostas.

  81. baby boo says:


  82. Melissa M says:

    If Vince Vaughn were looking at a script to play this guy, he’d turn it down because it wouldn’t be believable enough.

  83. theone says:

    omg!!! i didnt see nething wrong at first only a bit of bossiness..then he started tellin her off in the secod one he sounded like a complete psycho..lmaooo!!!

    he must have ballsz and hell of alotaa confidence to talk like dat.!

  84. MR POUTINE says:

    thats not from the Marina district of San Francisco the area code is 416 and thats Toronto not the USA………………… and thats how some people are in Toronto=(THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE) are lol

  85. pooter says:

    If by “long distance” you mean “restraining order”

  86. Suz says:




    LOL. No wonder this guy is single!

  87. JH says:

    LOL!! This guy is incredible without a doubt the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.

  88. yo says:

    that guy should kill himself

  89. Guz says:

    this guy is a straight up american “greek” cunt wipe

  90. zen says:

    # Spencer Pratt Says:
    June 27th, 2008 at 2:32 pm

    I didn’t see anything wrong with this guy whatsoever.

    Please tell me youre fikkin kidding ?
    What a smarmy bastard Dimitri is and if you cant see it, ya need to lay off the smarmalade yourself pal.

  91. zoop55 says:

    omg… (Facepalm) major douchebaggery…

  92. JEFF says:

    I hope she called him back, took him out, and dumped him so badly and embarrassingly that he wont be such a fucking douchebag again and realize that not all the woman in the world want him. Its people like him who i hate.

  93. Moreen says:

    What a narcissitic asshole!

  94. Douchey McDouche says:

    I can’t believe he left it at a mere two messages. Perhaps Olga got in a car wreck while taking her mother to chemo treatment, and has been laid up for weeks. It’s unfair for him to write poor elegant Olga off like that, he doesn’t know the circumstances she may be going thru.

  95. Flowerbelle says:

    This sounds completely normal and usual to me. Many men are like this – i hope any men who find this weird will now understand why women aren’t always flattered when approached in public!!

    By the way, i know and YOU know that he will keep calling, don’t we!!

  96. Miya says:

    Does he honestly think that by continuously insulting this this woman she will call him back? Oh, and unfortunately for this single guy, women often times do give out their number when a guy hits on them hoping he doesn’t actually call because they are nice and feel bad rejecting someone to their face.

  97. pingu says:

    this should be the number one hit when you google “douche”. this is the difnitoion of douche.

  98. d. says:

    toronto area code – same guy as described here – http://www.eyeweekly.com/city/features/article/22843?

  99. dimitryisscary says:

    this guy is a complete wack job.

    you have until 3pm tomorrow….i mean honestly. maybe you were abused in childhood, your mother has cancer?
    not psychologically normal don’t call me….dude you AREN’T normal!

    get a grip.

  100. kevin says:

    oh snap, piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimp!

  101. wikipedia -> James N. Sears

  102. idyokh oiqh says:

    rmijwh bniokeqcu ezol fdxgtpq cvzbkfgjh wyvktho djkni

  103. IS THIS A JOKE? says:


  104. Topcat says:

    Seinfeld’s George left similar messages in the “The Phone Message”


  105. Tim says:

    Somebody needs a new blow-up doll. He’s obviously worn out the one he has!

  106. Asshole 1 says:

    Man this guy must have a little Dick,or if this style works for him,and he GETS laid..I’m shooting myself..lmao whatta dickweed..

  107. Sandy says:

    You know… I love guys like this. They tell you exactly what they want, so you can tell them exactly why you’re not for them.
    I would have said, yes… I was on drugs, and with ‘ludes and 2 beers, you sounded good. Now I’m sober.

  108. Gemini says:

    Holy Crap! First of all why did she give him her card. Wow. never in my life.

  109. amy says:

    so….did anyone call that number he left?

  110. sweeft says:

    Dmitri is the first honest, class-act, I’ve seen since Wayne Brady

  111. Kerrisan says:

    o.O Wow. I can’t even fathom what kind of abuse THAT guy went through to be such a douche now! Talk about shooting yourself in the foot – I think he just shot his crotch clean off!

  112. Barr says:

    This is so fuckin bad it cant be real life……….. Funny as hell though.

  113. efdat says:

    I’m Greek and after this pencil dick I just heard makes me want to renounce my Greekness. No, were not all like that, I”m getting sick and wanna puke. Whata faggot, makes us look like shit. Sorry ladies!

  114. Christy Brinkley's Husband says:

    I thought he was great! He took my advice!

  115. j says:

    I know Olga and the voice messages are completely real, completely scary, and from Toronto. As for the backstory and anything else claiming to be associated to this guy, I cannot attest to.

  116. Anonymous says:

    hahaha… dude im from Toronto… this guy gets laid all kinds!!!

  117. FQU2 says:

    This guy is a FAG POINT BLANK ! Ladies beware of this type;)

  118. Anita says:

    This story is misleading. The girl was not from San Francisco at all. This whole thing happened in Toronto. This guy is from Toronto. He used to leave posters up all the time and he has been ousted as a doctor who lost is license for inappropriate contact with a client. The one thing you do have correct, though, is that he is a douchebag. He’s been the butt of many, many jokes over the last 15 years.

  119. omggay says:

    this is so funny.
    the second message i just lost it …
    haha and when he starts building himself up , there is nothing wrong with me.
    i love this.

  120. Ganja says:

    Ya, that’s a Toronto area code.

  121. genevieve says:

    oh my god hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. what a fucking fag. he is totally insecure and sounds like a pyschopath. i love the “maybe you were abused as a child”. he needs to go to hell.

  122. Two words: Restraining order.

  123. Me says:

    How Tom Cruise picked up Katie Holmes…

  124. Baji Kimran says:

    Hi everyone. This is Andy Kaufman. Yes, I”m still alive. This performance is the type of thing I was doing back in the 70′s. This guy is now just catching up, but better late than never. He sounds like a character I would have created when I was doing performance art. To those of you who bought his line…”Really, he’s only fooling.”

    Andrew G. Kaufman

  125. MuMu says:

    OMG! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    this man is HILARIOUS! i love it…

  126. Alyssa says:

    Ahaha are you kidding me. Ridiculous.

  127. DON G. says:

    HOMO SAYS WHAT!!!!!!

  128. SimonB says:

    Any girl who actually goes out with this control-freak is DOOMED. What a putz.

  129. Maezeppa says:

    “Call me … when you get the courage”. Oh, good grief. I think I know this guy.

  130. John says:

    oh my god. what a douche. I love it how he tells her what to do. freaking hilarous. DOUCHEBAG to the MAXX. Hahahaha. “Maybe you were abused in childhood” hahahahaha. omg.

  131. psychonrs says:

    Well, I deal with these kind of people at work, he sounds like a Borderline personality disorder patient who is about ready to have a break and be hospitalized. …if this is all not a scripted piece. If real, he needs medication, some sort of mood stabilizer! No wonder she didn’t call him back, who would!

  132. douche says:

    hahha… this guy has perfect the art of ‘douche’
    loves him!

  133. bev says:

    he’s a republican.

  134. Dmitri says:

    lol i agree with ONE thing that women play games with guys its soo mean, she says like call me and you call her and she doesnt return your calls then that woman is a douche. but yeah that guy has to be really think hes all the that and women want him, dumbass……

  135. Sri says:

    self-esteem to the height of foolishness :) this person is the farthest from reality

  136. Keer says:

    Whoa…this was pretty much the douchiest thing I ever heard in my entire life. He sounds like the type of guy that would beat a woman by how controlling he is. He’s not a fucking catch by any means.

  137. luna says:

    Actually people, The information found on that movie thing, “due to come out this year” is BS. If not, then its been due to come out later this year for the last 8 years that I know of. Thats a “dimitri marketing ploy” intended to cover for himself when he gets bad press on his true nature. “it’s a promo guys, Im studying my character for a movie” yeah yeah right.
    Keep in mind that this guy has a reputation all over Toronto as a paid sex coach and sexual adventurer, who is also highly skilled at self marketing & exploitation. The above recording and his one sided conversation is legit. That is exactly how he really is. He just rarely gets turned down, and he’s so egotistical that he actually believes the reason is because theres something wrong with YOU. For instance, every female who’s ever done the bar-hopping scene has been accused at some point of being a lesbian by some guy whom she has turned down, not because she didnt find MEN attractive, she just didnt find HIM attractive. Those guys are a “dimitri”. Although his website makes you think that the whole thing is a satire; that he’s laughing at himself and all. You tell yourself “how could this be real, its soooo preposterously vain, self-absorbed and narcissistic”. Well….thats the REAL dimitri. The problem is, he is too vain, and too egotistical to realize what a joke he is. But because he knows the art of seduction, he has no problem getting woman, who simply by their choice to have sex with him, validate his egomania. Based on what I hear on that recording, he’s a dead ringer for Narcissistic Personality Disorder with Sadistic Personality traits. Note how he became very mean, saying things intended to do nothing but hurt her. He never believed the stuff he was saying about her. How could he. He didnt know her. The point was to make her feel as badly as she had made him feel in her refusal to respond to the 1st call.
    He couldnt see how he blew it during the 1st to begin with. Although Dimitri isnt his REAL name, it IS who is really is. When John Wayne became “john wayne”, marion morrison died.
    This Dimitri fellow has done the same. And he is the one that is NOT psychologically normal. But he’s just TOO abnormal to realize it. But thats how they all are (the dimitri’s of the world) .

  138. winelips says:

    not sure if it’s actually a hollywood movie, but it is a hilarious web site none the less, which wass a result of the messages not the other way around.

    they are from a Canadian “lothario” and were recorded by a woman there. some DJ’s on a morning radio show got a hold of them back in 2006 or 7, played them on air and the rest is history.

    the audio files were forwarded to millions after that and the web site creators realizing they had struck gold took it from there.

    it fits the male stereotype that frequents the Marina district in SF so I can see how that mistake was made.

    sadly, he is a real guy.
    a real douchebag,

  139. Looking For Mr. Dimitri says:

    Man I wish you didn’t leave out his phone number…I would love to call him! haha. That’s hilarious!

  140. Diane says:

    How bizarre is that. What a nutter. Thank god I’m out of the dating game now!

  141. yoyo says:

    ahahaha what an arrogant cunt

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  143. Anonymous says:

    all i can say is wow… what a dumbass how does he even think this is acceptable to say to someone? people like this need to get help

  144. Turk says:

    He’s greek, and he’s from Cali, so he’s probably very narcissistic. Its just in their blood, they get a hard-on by looking at their own asses on the mirror.

  145. Anonymous says:

    wow thats kinda scary.. stalkerish

  146. Italian from Mtl says:

    This was too funny…I can’t believe there are men out there talking like that (if he’s for real). In any case, real or not, sounds like a couple of greeks I know
    here in Montreal…which DO talk that way!

  147. Anonymous says:

    Gees… can’t believe she’d miss such a great catch!
    I wish I had not missed that 3 pm deadline… LOSER!!!

    P.S. My mommy is just fine!!!

  148. Anonymous says:

    what an IDIOT!!

  149. Anonymous says:

    wow this guy is def a douche and hes WAAAYYY too full of himself.. like who the hell says things like that

  150. 1337 says:


  151. Anonymous says:

    Um, hey what about Alec Baldwin?

  152. Anonymous says:

    This guy is definitely on the loose, I was approached by him at a Winners store, He first approached me saying that he really liked what I was wearing, I politely thanked him, he turned to walk away then turned back and asked me my name, then asked me if I was single, he is extremely aggressive. He introduced himself “My name is Dimitri, I’m greek” then proceeded to try and greet me with the Euro double kiss. At this point I was very uncomfortable and backed away, his reaction was shocking, he was completely insulted, and angry. At this point he proceeded to tell me ” I could never date you, something must of happened to you in your childhood, some kind of trauma” because I wouldn’t let some stranger kiss me……I told hime I’d be over it in 5 seconds and that I never said that I wanted to date him.
    This guy was tall, slim build, longer hair slicked back kinda wavy, and had on a black leather jacket, he looked as though he’d just gotten off of working at a restaurant in his black and white outfit.
    What a CRAZY loser!

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  154. Anonymous says:

    The guy is trying not to sound desparate.

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  156. FatCity says:

    This guy obviously never gets laid. Can someone PLEASE post a photo of this loser! Olga, it’s up to you. Let’s continue his humiliation until this moron jumps off the Golden Gate Bridge!

  157. greekgirl01 says:

    OMG, if this is real, this guy is a complete assh*le!! I am 100% Greek, have gone out with Greek men over the years, but, have NEVER encountered one like this, THANK GOD! If this IS real, he certainly gives Greek men everywhere a really bad name!!

  158. krazykitty says:

    Wow, I want to get his cell phone and force fuck it up his ass for being such a dumb ass!!!

  159. Anonymous says:

    I hope this woman’s brother finds Dimitri and beats the shit out of just for thinking about hooking up with her.

    True Douchery in it’s purest form.

    I am embarassed for every Y chromosone on the planet.

  160. FatCity says:

    Please post a photo of this LOSER so we can continue his humiliation! Let’s make sure he jumps off The Golden Gate Bridge!

  161. Anonymous says:

    Unfortunately, in today’s world of dating which includes phoniness, arrogance, vanity and intimidation, this man’s statements are considered “normal”. It seems like the woman is playing the “Queen Bee Syndrome”. Only those exceptionally handsome, rich and intelligent guys (tall, dark and handsome by today’s media standards) who are also funny and keep me amused will be able to achieve sexual relations with me. As for the rest, a phony “call me” (which will never be returned) to keep your fantasies alive and my ego pumped up. To those of you that are shocked at his statements, this is what our dating scene has degenerated to. And we wonder why the divorce rate is 50%.

  162. brett says:

    oh man this guy’s awesome.

  163. Veronika says:

    This guy is none other than “Dimitri The Lover” from Toronto and the voicemails are part of a viral marketing campagin for a movie. There’s a Facebook group dedicated to this guy named the “Dimitri The Stud Alliance” at


    There’s a picture of him there too. He’s actually pretty sexy looking.

  164. Anonymous says:

    This audio clip and most of the replies that follow make me happy that I’m too old to listen and buy into this crap. U of T girl, do you really find this drivel attractive? How hard up and how low must your IQ be, to want to sleep with this moron? And ladies do what I have always done when approached by some narcissistic, self congratulatory, self proclaimed, Greek god: give them your business card, fake of course, listing your occupation as embalmer and cadaver handler, and that should send them running. However if by some perverted chance they happen to LIKE the fact that you handle dead people, that fake phone number will keep them from actually contacting you and sharing their love of all things rotting and dead! Geez what a douche bag!

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  169. Fluicatiquele says:

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  170. JiJi says:

    What the heck….

    Self cenetered lunatic is an understatment..

  171. Yuck says:

    He is really a flake!!! I don’t mean snow flake.

    Just weird, I wouldn’t call him if my life depended on it!

  172. cubegirl says:

    This has been circulating for years. Pretty sure it’s not a marketing ploy for an upcoming movie..

  173. starr says:

    lmao…and he’s from toronto

    …and how come his first message was so long??

    and omg! dis guy gave her a time and date to call him lmfao

    abused in childhood?mother has cancer??w=o=w…he cannot be serious..does he really expect her to call him after all that?

  174. These Voicemails are Fake ... says:

    They’re viral marketing for a film. It is all over the net. I’ll tell you what is NOT fake. Check out Dimitri The Lover’s NSFW BANNED ANIMATIONS:


  175. Olav says:

    That was really funny! He must be the biggest “arrogant” douche in the Universe.

  176. Aeneas says:

    “Now I understand if you’ve got other issues. Like maybe you’re not playing games, maybe you’ve had– I dunno, maybe you were abused in childhood; maybe you’re mother has cancer, you’re going to chemo. Maybe you’re just a person who’s extremely frightened, or has some– has an anxiety disorder. Maybe you’re on a– some medication for that– I dunno, there could be another issue. That I’m not aware of. But nobody says “Call me.” hands a person a business card, and then doesn’t return calls. It’s extremely passive-aggressive. You should actually look that up, “Passive-aggressive personality disorder.” And, you let me know. If–if you’ve got issues, psychological issues, if you’re on ANY sort of medication for anxiety/depression, I’m not interested. Okay? But if you’re psychologically normal, and you haven’t called me because there’s been some horrible thing that’s happened in you’re life that’s prevented you, that’s fine. But otherwise, don’t call me. Okay? Bye.”

    I don’t know about you guys, but this guy is gay.

  177. Anonymous says:

    I pulled these two numbers off of a registration search of his website

    Phone: 613.4822085
    Fax: 866.6801880
    Email: dimitrithelover@hotmail.com
    Website: http://torontorealmen.org/

    I have friends of my family that this guy stalked (including the person that had this message sent to them). He’s no doubt for real.


  178. Anonymous says:

    Oh yeah, by the way, all your base are brlong to us!

  179. seven degrees says:

    Serial killer for sure.

  180. C. J. Thom says:

    Olga is crazy if she doesn’t call this guy back (unless, of course, she is on medication). How can you pass up one of the only normal, healthy men in the city. Jesus, what are these girls looking for?

  181. luna says:

    Actually kevin, The information found on that movie thing, “due to come out this year” is BS. If not, then its been due to come out later this year for the last 8 years that I know of. Thats a “dimitri marketing ploy” intended to cover for himself when he gets bad press on his true nature. “it’s a promo guys, Im studying my character for a movie” yeah yeah right.
    Keep in mind that this guy has a reputation all over Toronto as a paid sex coach and sexual adventurer, who is also highly skilled at self marketing & exploitation. The above recording and his one sided conversation is legit. That is exactly how he really is. He just rarely gets turned down, and he’s so egotistical that he actually believes the reason is because theres something wrong with YOU. For instance, every female who’s ever done the bar-hopping scene has been accused at some point of being a lesbian by some guy whom she has turned down, not because she didnt find MEN attractive, she just didnt find HIM attractive. Those guys are a “dimitri”. Although his website makes you think that the whole thing is a satire; that he’s laughing at himself and all. You tell yourself “how could this be real, its soooo preposterously vain, self-absorbed and narcissistic”. Well….thats the REAL dimitri. The problem is, he is too vain, and too egotistical to realize what a joke he is. But because he knows the art of seduction, he has no problem getting woman, who simply by their choice to have sex with him, validate his egomania. Based on what I hear on that recording, he’s a dead ringer for Narcissistic Personality Disorder with Sadistic Personality traits. Note how he became very mean, saying things intended to do nothing but hurt her. He never believed the stuff he was saying about her. How could he. He didnt know her. The point was to make her feel as badly as she had made him feel in her refusal to respond to the 1st call.
    He couldnt see how he blew it during the 1st to begin with. Although Dimitri isnt his REAL name, it IS who is really is. When John Wayne became “john wayne”, marion morrison died.
    This Dimitri fellow has done the same. And he is the one that is NOT psychologically normal. But he’s just TOO abnormal to realize it. But thats how they all are (the dimitri’s of the world) .

  182. Applepierocks says:

    “Maybe you were abused as a child maybe your mother has cancer” I love this guy he wants her to call him and then was all at the end don’t call me. lmfao!

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  184. Travis? says:

    Sounds like compensation for his chode. Also he might be a little retarded.

  185. Chuck the guy who likes to stab douchebags says:

    I would like to stab this guy (not fatal) then inject him with a needle full of anti-depressants mixed with whiskey. Then, I’d like to cut off his nose and tongue and let him live out his life.

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  188. EyeforanEye says:

    Yo, does anyone see the pic flashed at 0:03?
    WTF is that?
    anywho, that is the most hideous account of douchebaggery ive ever seen. LOL

  189. dreamchancer says:

    What a complete idiot. This guy is so in love with himself. He gives genuine men a bad rep., and any woman who would date him does need to see a shrink.

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  191. Anonymous says:

    Wow….and all this time I thought Survivor’s Jeff Probst was the douchiest of douche bags. Wait, he did kinda sound like Jeff Probst…….http://dwazy.mysinablog.com/

  192. joshwash says:

    Demetri got caught out there, this was no prank… So don’t make him into anything but, an idiot… IDIOT


  193. Anonymous says:

    Is he effing serious?
    He is WAY to into himself..maybe there is another one just like him he can date?

  194. 2blue4u says:

    I too have spent years studying the creature called douchebag. But, never have a heard such a display as this. Excellent Find professor.

  195. shelley says:

    Oh man, I can”t believe that this person really exists!!! HE needs to be on medication and have a standing appt with a good shrink. What a LOON!!!!!

  196. sincity says:

    oh my god is this fuckin loser for real, he really is gay that’s not even a question, I bet he has a really small weiner and zero friends, can’t get girls so he has to molest them, has the queerest accent I’ve ever heard, has mental issues himself, problably never had a girlfriend,and masturbates alot!!!!!!(to men of course)

  197. Reece says:

    What a bloody wanker. He couldn’t think that he’s just not all that great. Ever think they didn’t call you back because of your messages, deadset what a cock

  198. Gordon says:

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  199. LaChica says:

    Wow. I thought this was a joke.

    And news flash. . . sometimes girls give guys their business cards because they are trying to be nice, but don’t want to give out their cell number. This still doesn’t mean they want you to call them and leave messages like this.

  200. Kevin T. says:

    These voicemails are just viral marketing for a Hollywood movie about Dimitri The Lover that’s coming out later this year. Here’s something you guys would get a kick out of … a girl was handed this flyer by Dimitri The Lover after she refused to submit to him (there are also a ton of cool links near the bottom of this site to video footage of the actual guy):


  201. todders says:

    Is he a bigger Douche than Mystery? Probably, if only because he’s greek…

    This guys a pretty big douche too:


  202. Anonymous says:

    “In 1991, the College of Physicians and Surgeons received complaints from female patients of Sears. According to Justice Hugh Locke in court documents, Sears made “verbal sexual overtures toward his patients and “sexually assaulted them by attempting to kiss and embrace them. The records also state that Sears would compulsively masturbate by going off to the washroom in between patients.[3] Sears pled guilty in 1992 to two counts of sexual assault and was stripped of his medical license the following year.”

    Dimitri the SELF lover, amirite?

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  204. ErvLondON says:

    Get this guy off the planet!

  205. Quiet Nova says:

    This is an absurd, ridiculous, insensitive, shocking display of outright douchebaggery. HOWEVER what most people that comment here dont understand is that this is (most likely) not his true personality. HE is obviously going out of his way to be a “douchebag” to provoke a response from her. If she is as attractive an “elegant” as he claims she is in the message, she most definitely has not been treated like this ever in her life, and the mere novelty of being treated like this will undoubtedly trigger some intrigue in her, whether or not she thinks he is an asshole is besides the point. Once she is intrigued, she will call back to meet him and from that point on he will subtly transform his douchbag personality into a a fun, energetic one that will cause her to be torn between whether or not she loves him or hates him. However by the time she decides he will have masterfully constructed such an intense level of rapport with him that she will be dangerously attracted to him despite all her inner warning signals….

    this man is not a fool. He is very intelligent ..and his style of picking up women is very constructed and very actually scientific and psychological. Most men dont understand it and hate the fact that he can do this ad still get women..so they eaither blame women or blae him by calling him a douchebag or a jackass fag. It is nobodys fault. Humans are very psychologically complex and this man has simply found a loophole in the female wiring….

  206. Amanda says:

    These voicemails are part of a viral marketing campaign for a documentary about Dimitri The Lover. I am sure of it because I live in Toronto and both my friend and I were interviewed for the documentary back in July. We were walking down the street and some film crew asked us to see some movie footage of Dimitri talking and give an opinion on camera. You can hear clues in the voicemails that they are staged, such as when he kinda tries not to laugh at certain parts, mentions the film he is working on in another part, and goes way over the top to absurd proportions in the second voicemail. I work at a marketing company and all of my colleagues feel that the way in which these “viral voicemails” were released was meant to create months of notoriety during the lead up to the film. It’s quite brilliant! I can’t wait to see myself on camera!!! Also, I saw Dimitri in person during the filming. He’s very attractive and appeared to be quite charming when chatting with women. One of the production assistants told me that he is a “really nice guy” and quite “harmless”.

  207. Chuckster says:

    Oh my lord, oh my freaking lord, I wouldn’t even smack this guy, I would laugh and laugh at him till he threw up, I have never ever heard anything even close to being as douchy as this. And Hahahaha at Bostonlongstroke’s response!!

  208. kushtrim says:

    of course hes a moron and a douche……hes greek!!

  209. Anonymous says:

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  210. TheMystical says:

    Well, if Jeffrey Dahmer’s neighbors said “He was shy, a little withdrawn. But not real bizarre, and that he never bothered anyone.” we can assume this guy is totally harmless.
    He sure sounds like a wacko but be assured there are women out there that dig these kind of guys.

    Maybe not Olga :-|

  211. OB says:

    This man is a dick. Laying down rules and deadlines? Are you serious?

    Only one thing needs to be said to this manbitch…”NEXT TIME YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH, I WILL END YOUR LIFE!”

  212. Dan Orange says:

    I have a three inch penis…this guy sounds like his is even smaller than mine

  213. Derp says:

    There is no way this is real! Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! Words cannot even describe how ridiculous he is!

  214. Niko says:

    This Guy is a SERIAL KILLER!!!!:):):):)

  215. omg... says:

    This is the road: uber douchebag > stalker > rapist > serial killer.

    And Mr.Dmitri right here is definately traveling the fast lane.

  216. swalti says:

    tell me this isn’t the same guy http://www.DimitriTheLover.com/

  217. Nick says:

    Doosh baag !!


  218. Eric says:

    If this turns out to be viral marketing, I’m going to be seriously pissed.

  219. Billy Bee says:

    Oh my God. That was a train wreck. I’m Greek and when he said he was Greek I was just shaking my head in shame. He’s a freaken Toronto Greek Douchebag too. Anyways awesome clip!

    P.S. Here’s the Greek word for Wanker dedicated to Dimitri.


  220. Anonymous says:

    swalti, you’re a genious. This is HILARIOUS.

  221. Blue says:

    Wow. What a dork. I checked out http://www.dimitrithelover.com and it is in fact him. There is a radio interview with the guy and he has the exact same voice as the guy in the message to olga. Does he know how rediculous he sounds? Someone should send him the link to this post so he can hear himself…

  222. Klard Farkus says:

    This has to be a total fake. Nobody could possibly be this much of a douchebag, loser, jerk, ass, jerkoff, dink, retard, brain damaged freak, sociopath, psycopath, total nutcase, Every negative work you could come up with would be descriptive of this creep. Turn him into the police, there are probably bodies of dead women littering the path of this lunatics path through life.

  223. Klard Farkus says:

    If this guy is for real i wish he would have a reality show. I hate television but I would love to see this guys trainwreck of a life. He would make all the other freaks look like normal human beings.

  224. martin says:

    i would beat the crap out of this guy if i ever saw him in the street. fucking douche bag.

  225. Rick B says:

    WOW, when I saw the word douchiest I was skeptical, but you’re 100% right. This has got to be the douchiest douche bag on the planet. Thanks for posting this has made my day way better.

  226. Shane says:

    This DoocheBAG is from Toronto lol DOOCHE—-BAG!DOOCHE—-BAG!DOOCHE—

  227. randster says:

    …. a……. I….. wha….
    and here I thought “Crossing Over”’s John Edwards was the biggest douche in the universe (yay dated south park refrence). The sad sad thing is that I know someone like this, well a younger version of this. This is the kind of well-honed douche baggary that takes years of being a douche whilst always searching how to be a douchier douche a baggier bag. He understands that to be a true douche bag, one cannot just have delusions of grandeur “I’m quite a catch”; cannot just be a presumptive dick “Maybe your mother has cancer”; cannot just be just plain arrogant “You shouldn’t give someone your number and say call me and not return their calls”; and cannot just throw arbitrary threats at people “if you don’t call me back…”; Dimitri here understands that to be a fully realized douche bag you have to embrace all of these and more.

    It sucks for any other Dimitri’s in the greater southern California area who look mildly greek, they’ve been officially black listed by this Ultra Douche Bag.

    “I’m working on a movie script” at least he didn’t claim to be a writer.
    “I’m erasing [your number now]” ten bucks says he didn’t

  228. Jonas says:

    If some1 calles another person a gay faggot… does that mean that he’s adressing him or her as a heterosexual?

  229. Lil'HatBox says:

    This is a horrible message and the guy is a total self-centered lunatic, but I do have to be fair and ask why she gave him her number if she had no intention of talking to him again?

  230. Brad says:

    Wow….and all this time I thought Survivor’s Jeff Probst was the douchiest of douche bags. Wait, he did kinda sound like Jeff Probst…….

  231. Anony-less-douche-than-Dmitri says:

    “…I was walking around in Kensington Market this weekend and we smooched over coffee. I thought he was some romantic Greek gigilo. He promised to “awaken” my “inner slut” this coming weekend.”

    Wait. I’m confused. How is ‘smooching’ with a stranger over coffee not a slut?

    In any case…if you say smooching and your over the age of 13, your a douche too.

    Unless you say something like “Smooch my penis bitch!”.
    Or in your case: “Smooch my clit you douche!”

  232. Valde says:

    What a fucking faggot and a moron to boot. I hope he gets raped by dogs.

  233. Toronto Stud says:

    This guy is famous in Toronto. Most people know he’s just putting on an act, but women buy into it and from what I hear, he gets laid lots. After reading the Toronto Real Men announcement above, I’ve decided to attend the next meeting. I want to be like Dimitri. I wish I could be like him. Women eat that shit right up.

    Also, I just voted for James “Dimitri The Lover” Sears as Toronto’s 2008 Supervillain of the year. I want this guy to win. You can vote by clicking the link below then looking in the box on the right side for his name. Choose him then click “VOTE” at the bottom of the list: http://torontoist.com/2008/12/heroes_and_villains_2008_the_vote.php

  234. Shariff says:

    You are wrong Liza. these voicemails first surfaced at the beginning of June, around the time when filming was already taking place in Toronto. I know for a fact because I was walking down Bloor Street in June and saw Dimitri The Lover with a camera crew in tow. For all I know, they could have been filming for weeks. Amanda is right. It is too coincidental. I study film at Ryerson, so I know it takes several months to plan out the making of a film. There is no way that Dimitri could have gotten together a film crew within a few days of the voicemails surfacing in order to “take advantage of the exposure”. There were about a dozen people, they all looked very professional, had a huge van, and there were at least 3 cameramen filming Dimitri from various angles. It would have to be the biggest coincidence on the face of the Earth if the voicemails surfaced unrelated to the film.

  235. U of T Girl says:

    10 out of 10 in bed, and a total sweetheart! I made the mistake of telling a couple of classmates, and now they think I’m a total slut. I don’t care what they think. Dimitri The Lover is AWESOME!!!

  236. Robert Watson says:

    Actually, he’s right. It is too coincidental. I was visiting Toronto from Ottawa in the summer and was approached. I declined, but realized after the fact what it was for.

  237. Rodney M. says:

    THIS GUY ROCKS!!! WE ARE NOT WORTHY!!! After reading this announcement, now I wish I lived in Toronto: http://torontorealmen.com

  238. Catherine Becker says:

    lol you sound like Dimitri. Jesus Christ.

  239. Range Rover says:

    I found a clip of Dimitri The Lover speaking. It starts at about 11:30 and goes on for over 9 minutes. I worship the ground this guy walks on:


  240. Anonymous says:

    My guess is that she was so offended by the first message she didn’t want to see him again. Not so surprising is it?

  241. Anonymous says:

    What does that have to do with anything?

  242. U of T Girl says:

    ROTFL !!! I went on a coffee date with “Dimitri The Lover”. I didn’t know who he was until my roomate told me about the voicemails today. He approached me while I was walking around in Kensington Market this weekend and we smooched over coffee. I thought he was some romantic Greek gigilo. He promised to “awaken” my “inner slut” this coming weekend. I’m totally intrigued. I’m spending the next few days building up the nerve to go through with it. My gf’s want a detailed report with a lovemaking rating out of 10 (lol). Oh, and today I asked him whether the voicemails were “viral marketing”. He refused to discuss it with me (something about being barred from talking until after the movie is released–yah, right). I don’t care though, just sick and tired of the same lame guys on campus. This girl needs some loving!!! If I don’t post a follow up next week, call the police!

  243. Randy A. says:

    This voicemail is none other than “Dimitri The Lover”, a seduction guru, physician, and performance artist from Toronto. If you go to http://dimitrithelover.com/TRMannouncement.html you can read the latest newsletter from his anti-metrosexual group, the “Toronto Real Men”. Then go to his web site and click on the MEDIA CENTRE and listen to a radio interview where the voice is exactly the same. The guy is hilarious and a total expert with the ladies.

  244. Liza says:

    Back in July he was already an internet phenomenon as the result of these viral videos. Check out the date of the first story, well over a year before they interviewed you.

  245. Mr.Spore says:

    “You call me as soon as you have the courage too” what a douch bag. lol
    Did she make the “deadline”?

  246. Jade B. says:

    Hahahahahaha, I love how explains his rules, you can tell in the second message as hes talking, he just expects the craziest scenerio. that guy is fuckin insane. i wish the number wasn’t cut out, so we can hear posted messages from his voicemail. and I thougt Toronto’s area code is 905.

  247. Tess says:

    So, this guy is going to wind up killing his wife- if he ever, ever, ever finds one- or girlfriend or something. We’ll wind up watching him on courttv or soemthing. Absolutely insane.

  248. Truther says:

    Wat ?

  249. doda says:

    funny how he mentions hes greek. anyone who has to mention what nationality their parents were to pickup a chick is a douchebag wanna bee like most italians, ricans, guidos. as this is because people who mention it, arent generally even born there.

  250. vick says:

    Oh my gosh, that guy has got some issues, and is very arrogant, let alone stupid.
    Someone asked, Why didnt she call him, ….who would?

  251. the psychologist says:

    this guy is the f***ing funniest and yet the most non-elegant greek and pathetic person i’ve ever heard. Let’s break him done a bit: completely narcistic, desperate, and self-protective of rejection. You must not like me cuz you were abused as a child LIKE ME! hahah Someone took a bat and swung and i got $5 dollars from it and now… I have this new style of douche. I call it… (drum roll) picaso 101.

  252. Anonymous says:

    This sounds a crazy, but I feel sorry for the guy. Such low self-esteem and confidence that he needs to compensate for. He will never experience love or feel the joy of having his child’s love and respect. There is no happiness in life for him; just lonely romps in the sack for instant gratification. Shame on his parents for having a child with endless potential and turning him a sociopath, void of any emotional feelings, empathy or needs beyond his own. Pity the woman that marries him and god forbid, any kids he will be raising in the future. Poor sons will follow his footsteps, down the same path and ultimately become the same kind of self-absorbed sociopath their father was and his daughters will no doubt marry some as$hole that treats their woman like their “loving daddy does. Maybe his mother had an incestuous relationship with him; would explain his self-hate and Misogynists traits.

  253. nutstomper says:

    Keep talking more Dmitri. Women love guys with gay voices who don’t know when to shut up. They hate strong silent types. True story.

  254. ... says:

    Let the romance begin

  255. lol says:

    lol lol lol lol

  256. Bagdouchery says:

    Thorazine, stat!

  257. ping says:

    lol at Quiet Nova.
    Yeah she’s so ‘intrigued’ by him that she put his messages on the internet.
    Guys like you who think that women are some intricate puzzle that can be solved with calculated moves are a hoot. Good luck with that.
    Maybe next time it’ll be your messages we hear online.

  258. What says:

    A Douche

  259. BigD says:


  260. Ringnbells says:

    He said: “There’s nothing wrong with me” LMAO!

  261. epiclawl says:

    The man has been brainwashed. He thinks he is talking to a girl named ulga. But in fact, he has called a woman in her late 40′s. The woman is already married. It’s a simple case of “A beautiful mind.”

  262. neworder990 says:

    This is my favorite e harmony comerical

  263. OhF$ck that was hard to listen to says:

    My wife is Greek….. I can’t wait to let her listen to this BAG O SHIT …..

  264. P Real says:

    His name is Dmitri…that should have been your first clue. haha

  265. Maria says:

    The really sad thing is? Most any girl who really is on medication, or otherwise has had her self esteem tampered with, would call him back, just to prove she was “normal”. He obviously knows this and is praying on it… Regardless of whether he’s a “real life performer” as the websites above portray, or just some guy off the street. Thousands of men, and even some women, use this to their advantage every day, telling people that if they were normal, they’d do this or that, and many people buy into it. When you’re screwed up enough in the head, you’ll do anything to gain acceptance. This woman is lucky she had a good head on her shoulders and wasn’t suckered into his act – because while surely, he does think that he has “nothing” wrong with him, and that he is a “catch”, he’s going to extra extremes to emphasize everything.

  266. Anonymous says:

    LOL WTF!! if you have a mother that has cancer or psychological disorders dont call me!! lol

  267. whatwhat says:

    maybe *he* was a abused as a child… and then again by anyone he’s met since, ’cause… goddamn…

  268. Dude says:

    This guy is actually a TEACHER OF SEDUCTION!!!


    He has MENTAL PROBLEMS, although douchery is still present…

  269. spankster says:

    okee dokee….I think this was real, It sounded like this guy actually exsists….wow.

    *the strong don’t have a need to say that they are strong
    *the brave don’t have a need to appear brave to others
    *only the weak of mind need you to see them as strong of mind

    Don’t get mad at this guy, pitty him. The bigger he says he is, the smaller he thinks he is.

    Arrogance is a weakness, not a strength. This guy is the most arrogant dude I’ve ever heard, and I thought that I heard some whoppers, but wow……wow

  270. Anonymous says:

    Area code 416…. ahahaha he is from Toronto still a douche

  271. isshh says:

    biggest douche!!

  272. The Dude says:

    This guy is delusional to the fact that he is a fucking loser. Also, he is really self-conscious…

  273. ArchArbiter says:

    I wanna beat this guy up. :C

  274. Mallory says:

    If any woman falls for this she deserves this asshole.

  275. Crying Under Sheets says:

    All you guys care about is laughing at him. He’s a human. All you people want is more, more, more. Leave douchebag phone guy alone. :-(

  276. Anonymous says:

    this isn’t from San Fransisco, the area code is 416 which is a Toronto area code. This is real, he’s Greek. Enough said.

  277. Godless says:

    Man she should have left the phone ### so we could all call and tell him how much of a douche he is . Not THAT would be classic. Especially if we could post all our calls defending the poor girl lmao

  278. Stoop Solo says:

    this guy actually teaches men how to talk to women, seroiusly!

    you can enter his school with courses@dimitrithelover.com

    its too funny, but true

  279. WOW!! says:

    Wow he is a real winner!!

  280. Hollywood says:

    Wow, was that Christian Bale from American Psycho?

  281. Elliott says:

    CLASSIC! Someone please create an animated version of this, or puppetry, anything!

  282. Mesum says:

    So is she pregnant by his baby or what?

  283. Moe says:

    wtf? This is like it’s taken straight out of a family guy script

  284. Karen Swim says:

    Geez, and people ask me why I don’t date. This is why! I may be a young widow but no way would I want to deal with this kind of stuff. This is seriously wrong on so many levels.

  285. Venus Flytrap says:

    Hahaha, I am just speechless at that message! I cannot believe he’s for real! Also, for all of you wondering if this dude is from Toronto, sorry to disappoint, the first part of the number has been edited out of the message for privacy purposes :) , so that 416 part is just the middle of the number.

  286. if it's too good to be true, it's probably... says:


  287. adam says:

    what a fu.k wit

  288. Nene says:

    ….mmmmmmhhhh…guys…come on…is this a REAL message?????? Seriously????hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  289. Pat says:

    Wow! A little wikipedia sleuthing reveals this guy is a living, breathing dbag. His real name is James Sears. His wiki offers tragic but illuminating insights into his douchiness.

  290. Alex says:

    Wow this guy thinks he is GOD. Is it possible for ANYONE to have a higher impression of himself? Not even Narcissus was as vain as this guy. I love how he was trying to force her to call him back by talking about passive-agressiveness and how he was trying to cover his desperation by being such a douche.

  291. Mjallo says:

    I cant believe this is true, no waaay anybody is that much of a sociopath!

  292. I’ll bet this fruitcake has a Horsebanger email address! Crazy emails for crazy people.

  293. Anonymous says:

    1 word – Wanker. Nothing else to describe this muppet really

  294. Rob says:

    that was the best message i’ve ever heard… what a douche cock bag

  295. Fritz says:

    I love it

  296. RoboDoc says:

    Bwhahahahaha! Hilarious! :D

  297. Kerri says:

    I laughed so hard I think I peed a little!!! hahahahahahaa

  298. e says:

    That is the way it should be done and she should have called back. He is cool and knows what he wants. probably her loss

  299. Bazm says:

    This is a message from the most disturbed individual I have ever heard. Soon to be locked up for some twisted pathological sex crime no doubt.

  300. Dimitri–I crown thee King Cock Bag.

    I hate this guy. I mean, really, really hated this guy. He’s trying to convince himself that his bravado is confidence.


    In reality, his arrogance is just cover. He’s obviously trying to make up for some extreme shortcomings in his life.

    In other words, my dick is bigger–and I don’t even have one.

    Die young, Dimitri. Your parents were OBVIOUSLY siblings.


  301. penny says:

    Dmitri = Textbook case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
    He, without a doubt, meets every criteria.
    Unfortunately, there’s not much anyone can do to treat him, other than perhaps castration. haha.

  302. lala says:

    OMG this same loser tried picking me up he owns a business that instructs men on how to pick up women too!!

  303. lala says:

    When i turned this guy down he told me to google “world’s greatest lover” and sure enough he popped up haha he calls himself Dimitri the Lover

  304. lala says:

    and he does live in Toronto

  305. Anonymous says:

    # Anonymous Says:
    June 27th, 2008 at 4:46 pm

    He is Greek, so his name is spelled Dimitris, not Dmitri (that’s the Russian version). Yeah, he sounds like Greek to me alright. I am Greek too (female). I ended up married to a west European guy, I won’t touch Greeks ever again.

    Your an idiot!!

  306. ms.hawaii says:

    of course she’s not gonna call back…DUMB ASS!!! after hearing all that…yeah psycho!

  307. Anonymous says:


  308. Dave says:

    Girls are bitches like that, why did she give him her number if she didn’t want to talk?

  309. Cheryl says:

    He is way to into himself

  310. Juan Carr says:

    That’s it? Hardly exceptional. Not worth forwarding on. Very 1995.

  311. Kane says:

    Hey, a like the guy ;-) i can’t see why she wouldn’t call.. I mean, REALLY! He’s good in bed and besides being a little bit long winded there is NOTHING wrong with him.. HA! That’s comedy!!

  312. lol says:

    He sounds like Kenny, from the Show Kenny VS Spenny. Even the way he talks is like Kenny, very cocky and a womanizer.

  313. SS says:

    I would call him to tell him he was rude and ugly

  314. Ben says:

    If i ever, EVER, meet this guy, im gonna hit him

  315. joel says:

    It figures he’s from Toronto. What a fucking asshole.

  316. Anonymous says:

    This guy may be a douche, but this is how you get laid. He knows what he’s doing. Girls that post on here and say he’s a faggot would end up screwing him.
    You guys should seriously take some notes on this.

  317. dwb4444 says:

    Why R U ANONYMOUS…Hum???????????? Women R 2 B Held, Loved, and Respected. Take “NOTES on That!!

  318. @yahoo.com says:

    He Is TRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  319. Stephen says:

    Sounded a little like something from a Woody Allen movie. Was it Woody disguising his voice? Either way, that was unbelievable. What a 100 % douche. Unfortunately, I know a few men like this and it’s down-right sad. Hopefully, whatever she gave him with the number on it didn’t include a real place of work or home address…

  320. zoe says:

    Oh my god i actually cannot believe this. I was actually sitting here with my mouth open staring in shock as he went on, i didn’t know someone could be that crazy…

  321. Bill Richter says:

    He needs some help, bad! He needs a makeover from the boys at http://www.learnwomen.com or http://www.mysterymethod.com!

  322. jojo says:

    AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAH funniest shit ive heard in a long time….this guy is a psychopath – they were talking about this on the radio and i swear to god he called in to defend himself but using another name

  323. EJG says:

    i hate this fuck!! aargh

  324. Brett says:

    He’s not crazy or a douche, he’s just awesome.

  325. jono says:

    please play again with the guys number left in….then let every one call him back!

  326. funny says:

    staggering douchebaggery!

  327. Robyn says:

    Holy Fuck…What a psycho! I want to know who his life coach is. I had one of these once…I named him Crazy Kelly…apparently he could talk to aliens and communicate telepathically…the poor girl…she probably had to get a new phone number after that…or a restraining order. He has no sensor at all…his internal monologue is actually external. What a fucking psycho.

  328. anonymous says:

    I’d say brutally honest, first rule don’t speak your mind. appropriately titled :)

  329. Mike says:

    hey this was on the radio

  330. Mark says:

    I heard this earlier today and laughed my ass off.
    His name isn’t Dimitri. I forget his real name but this is his website.
    Apparently he was a doctor who got his license taken away for sexually assaulting SEVERAL women.


    What a douch!

  331. Hannah says:

    I agree with Brett. This guy is awesome, too bad I have some psychological disorders so I would not be able to date him. Why do the Gods play me this way?

  332. CEB says:

    My God, I wish I could call him and tell him what an ass he is!!!

  333. MCV says:

    This is a joke right? Sounds like he has some psychological issues himself calling her back for the second time……………………..LMAO

  334. Jingwing says:

    WOW!! I thought I had met the king when I met a guy and gave him my number at a party. I left the party about a half hour after he did but had received 15 calls from him by the time I got home! And imagine… I thought THAT was pathetic!!! At least that guy was JUST a loser. THIS guy is a LOSER who is SOOOO Full of Himself !! He gives men a bad name!

  335. Its amazing this desperate dork has enough time to make this call while playing World of Warcraft.

    Someone should animate this LOL

  336. micro says:

    omfg, that was hilarious… if she’s not calling him because she has some horrible problem then that’s fine, but otherwise CALL HIM NOW OR LIVE IN REMORSE FOR LETTING SUCH A GREAT CATCH SLIP AWAY

    seriously, who describes themselves as a “catch” anymore? what is this, the 1960′s?

  337. Moony says:

    Who the hell does this dude think he is??
    But it’s funny as hell XD

  338. enigma says:

    how did this private message became public?
    I hate it when the private life of someone becomes public and everyone judges that person.
    I also hate it when some ladies give their numbers to guys and when guys call those ladies never pick up the phone and never call back.
    Just for the records, I do not find anything wrong with the first message, as long as he means what he says and everything is true. On the contrary, the guy is a nice talker. Well, he brags a little bit, but he is trying to sell himself.

    As far as the second message goes, probably the guy is mad because Olga never called back. He shouldn’t try to analyze and overanalyze in order to find an answer, because there is no answer to women’s behave. Some of them are just complicated (weird). We forget that most weirdos are women, not men.

    If there was no 3rd call, the guy is ok and I feel sorry that his private life became public.

  339. anonymous me says:

    Long distant relationship!!! OMG 416 is an area code from Toronto, Canada. Oh I am so upset he deleted her phone number. Where does this guy come from???

  340. Dude Who Never Gets Laid says:

    I never gave anyone permission to use my voice on this site. How dare you? Were you abused in childhood or perhaps you’re on medication? I don’t play games on the internet so you have until four o’clock tomorrow to remove this audio clip.

  341. WTF! says:

    He had a long distance relationship that didn’t work out? Let me guess, she moved to the Moon? HA HA HA HA!

  342. swords says:

    This guy is nuttier than a fruitcake, haha.

  343. me.sh says:

    what in God name is he thinking he is f**king gay. Get a life jackass

  344. Tara says:

    Uh, This guy sounds gay. (Hey there are gay douchebags too.)

  345. eh says:


  346. Alyx says:

    Ok, if you’ve got down this far heres the deal
    This was on radio 1, with Scott Mills recently (most of you guys are probably american, so may not of heard of either) and this is pretty much what he said

    The guy is ( i think) originally from Greece, and then moved to Toronto, Canada.
    He runs a club for men, on how to “sway” girls, how to win them over and more. Obviously, from this, we learn that there is NO WAY IN HELL you’d want to attend one of these classes! its absurd!
    But yeah, he runs this club and apparently a fair few people go, oh, and his real name isn’t even Dmitri, is John or something.
    I’m guessing he changed it after leaving another message like that.

    Hope this helps :)

    – Alyx

  347. Kali says:

    There’s no way someone can be that much of an ass….I love the part where he says, “unless something horrible has happened, that’s fine but otherwise, don’t call me”. Thank you for making my week! I cannot stop laughing!

  348. Erin says:

    Narcissist. look THAT up.

  349. El Hombre Doucho says:

    He has a point, you don’t just give out your card and never call back…

  350. Alata Fagina says:

    i’m one of the 6 or 7 girls that has hit on Dimitri a day, and he is right, he is great in bed….

  351. Josi says:

    Holy Fu*cking Crap!

    Seriously, this guy likes himself..
    If i ever got a messenge like this i would call back and tell that he person is a douche!

  352. That Link Doesn't Work ... says:

    Dimitri The Lover’s Douchey file can be seen here in all its glory:


  353. OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS LINK !!! says:



  354. WOW says:

    I think this is that guys email address? No joke.

    Dmitry Shubov [dmitry.shubov@legalmatch.com]

  355. Streg says:

    And she didn’t call him back? He’s SUCH a catch. OMG!!!

  356. MiltonChris says:

    This guy- and his lunatic agenda- can be found at http://www.dimitrithelover.com….enjoy!!!! LOL

  357. mystery says:

    hey, what’s the deal referring to Mystery and PUA, or whatever that is.

    Anyway, ever heard of reverse speech? It would be fun to devise a way to play that message backwards and see if we can catch a few phrases that reveal what he really is, and what he really wants. Not that it’s rocket science to figure it out playing it forward, but it would still be great to hear it in his own words.

  358. GRNDVL1 says:

    Wow this type of guy just makes me shudder. I can’t believe there are guys out there that think that this technique works! Yeah maybe on a drunk stoned chick but jeez what an a-hole. Makes me want to beat the douchebag up and I’m not a violent guy. Oh yeah Olga give me a call cause I’m great in bed too… :-) What a dork.

  359. Veronica says:

    Can you say “restraining order”?

  360. GUS says:

    Okay, I’m Greek . . . and this guy disgraces us! Wow! We really don’t do this! He’s sick and demented!

  361. OMG says:

    OMG this guy is so full of himself! could i get his number so i can leave messages for him? is he psychologically normal? is he medicated?

  362. Tony says:

    lol this guy is a loser. I doubt any girls ever call him or even approach him the way he said in the beginning. He sound more like a child molester then anyhting else lol. I feel sorry for the woman who does go out with him lol

  363. This can’t be real, there is no way in hell this guy is for real

  364. ZingZing says:

    Passive-agressive: “Look that up”? Like HE knows about personality disorders. I’m setting a deadline b4 I kick ur annoying little Greek (no offense to normal Greeks) A$$! Can you imagine what it’s like to LIVE with that guy? I seriously doubt he’s ever even held a girl that long.

  365. Olga says:

    Dmitri, my mom’s finished with her chemotherapy and I’m back from vacation. Call me.

  366. OH MY GOD says:

    Holy Shit! This guy is ridiculous! I’ve never heard anything like this, even Vince Vaughn isn’t that much of a douche in his movies. I’m not a violet person, but I think I’d actually like to torture and kill this person.

  367. Tucker Max says:

    I taught that guy well!

  368. Rina says:

    Does he seriously live on our planet?

  369. Andie says:

    UGH OMG hahahahahhahahahahahahaha wtf? Your mother has cancer? Oooh “no body calls me” “maybe you should look that up, passive aggressive disorder” “logically normal”. Something horrible has to have happened in her life for her to have not called him? As if *her* world will come to an end if she doesn’t give him a chance?? There must be SOME good reason why he wouldn’t get a call back. Lord have mercy! I’d love to meet this ‘boy’ and give him a good ass whoopin because I know his mama never did. He has ‘denial issues’ and frequently ‘projects his fears’ into others. This guy’s a psycho path. I bet he’s one of those guys who murder prositutes. I’ll bet we see him on 60 minutes or Dateline’s “To Catch a Predator” one of these days.

  370. drugz!!! says:

    did no one else see the big ass bags of drugs!!! dizamn i want to live in that village…..didnt even listen to that shit…im still wondering where that dude on the bike lives…and what is he moving around like it aint shit lol

  371. me says:

    well at first he was a douchbag, but then he just turned into the biggest creep ever.

  372. Andie (Again!!) says:

    I listened to it again, but couldn’t even go through with it for more than 5 seconds. His voice, his demeanor, everything about him just makes me want to vomit. and the extremely sad, but true fact is that he will never see just how much of an idiot he is. He and my ex fiance’ should get together. They’d make a really cute couple.

  373. lauren says:

    after no call on the first try… you are now an official ass for calling the second time.

  374. mario.snacks says:

    oh man. this guy is such a dick! this is fuckin hilarious

  375. Anonymous says:

    Dimitri im Greek too. So as one Greek to another im gonna give you an advice…kill your self please! lol what a douch cock

  376. I created the world’s craziest email name so that chicks could give out their Horsebanger email to idiots like this guy instead of their numbers.

    Anyone can get one for free.

  377. kevster says:

    o my god, im going to be the one that has to kill this guy

  378. danny says:

    Absolutely incredible. I loved every second

  379. Gerald says:

    The thing about it is he’s probably telling the truth, theres so many gold diging women out there that allow guys like this to beleive theyre own hype. Hilarious though, id buy him a beer

  380. UrAllDumb says:

    He’s a performance artist…Reading the comments makes me sad for our society. He’s not a ‘douche bag’, he’s PERFORMING. The fact that you idiots bought it hook line and sinker is evidence of how much talent he has. BRAVO!

  381. Anonymous says:

    Give me a break. Your all pathetic to waste such preciouse time in this short life. Don’t you get it by now? Get a life!!!!!!!!!!

  382. dusty says:

    i do not apppreciate my private personal phone calls being replayed. i will not be calling you. i also do not appreciate changing your number, its very inconsiderate. i demand you call me so that i may tell you not to alk to me. im waiting

  383. Anonymous says:

    this guys is not from san fran his number is 416 which is from toronto canada….. and yes he is a fuckin complete dick if i had his full number id go and find his house and fire bomb it

  384. ROFLface says:

    Again, this blog sucks. Holy Taco? Did you babblefish that? GTFO my internets.

  385. LcK says:

    Greeks are Douches in general

  386. Dogbot says:

    Haha, this is great. I like Pen15.

  387. francis says:

    This sounds like Doc Love -wrought advice. No kidding, there’s this writer that people subscribe to who says things like “Tell her that she needs you and that the honor is all hers, bash her for playing games if you even suspect it, bla bla bla”

    Look him up, Doc love… he’s a total douche and people follow that shit!

  388. Maybach says:

    Sounds like a guy I met who told me I would be privledge to date him.. ha ha ha

  389. SLick says:

    yeah, it’s T. DOT!! (Screwface capital of the world)

  390. Gerdt says:

    “Okay Olga?”

  391. WTF? says:

    Where in the Hell can you buy douchebags anymore and also, it’s the scum and shit inside them that I love to sip down for breakfast in the mornings, so dont let this story confuse you from the facts!,..BUUUURRRRRRP!

  392. NoctheniK says:

    LOL i wonder why hes single :P

  393. Wildd Redcherry says:

    WARNING…this stops being funny:

    He has access to womens personal medical records…
    His real name is James Spears, a discredited medical doctor.

    His site is here:

    …warn friends and family in the Toronto area!

  394. William says:

    That page has way too many animated GIFs to be anything but completely insane.

  395. Peter says:

    This is funny but bogus. The back story says san Francisco but the meesage says 416 which is Toronto

  396. PUA to the max says:

    this is the kind of guy that would pay Mystery or any of those others 4000$ to teach him how to meet women

  397. Anonymous says:

    there goes 4 min 27 seconds of my life i’ll never get back.

  398. boldybaldy says:

    it’s san francisco, what else would u expect. everyone there has their head up their asses.

  399. hennel says:

    what a fat fucking greek cunt. i hope a car runs over him

  400. Anonymous says:

    I’m greek too, but this guy is the exact reason why i don’t hang out with greek people….

  401. Mike says:


  402. Tim says:

    Wow. I’ve finally heard the voice of the King of the Scuzbuckets. What a complete assclown!

  403. Victor says:

    Wow, that’s crazy. Do voicemails even allow you to leave such a long msg anyway? I always seem to get cut off by the recording if I talk for too long.

  404. Al Mac says:

    OMG! What is his movie script about? Can someone please get me a copy??? Maybe its about being abused as a child or his mother having cancer. No wonder he’s single.

  405. Wiki Reader says:

    James N. Sears (aka Dimitri the Lover) is a former physician from the Toronto area, whose license was stripped for reasons of sexual misconduct. He is now a self-professed seduction guru who created and runs Toronto Real Men which provides meetings and workshops instructing men how to assert themselves with women.[1] His name and group are associated with the seduction community. In particular, Dimitri the Lover gained widespread notoriety after two of his voicemail messages left for a female recipient became a viral video receiving over 100,000 views in the first two days it was published on YouTube.[2]

    - from Wiki

  406. Hahaha says:

    He had to run off to masturbate, that’s why he had to get ‘the hell out of there’….hahahahaha

  407. Luke says:

    This guy is hilarious, but not quite as hilarious as the complete retards who are taking this so seriously and leaving huge messages – get a grip. Nobody’s impressed with your arguments with a computer screen.

  408. Jeff says:

    what a total ass LOL Man talk about an ego Dork !

  409. Bradley Harder says:

    This Douchebag’s real name is James Sears and he’s a self proclaimed Love Guru. He’s an Idiot and a grease ball. Holy fuck this guy is unbeleivable.

  410. 3offour says:

    This guy is so egotistical and such a narcissist that the only woman that would remotely be interested is the kind he’d have to pay for. OMG! He’s a lunatic and if there’s a woman out there that would be interested, she’d better be prepared to be TOTALLY CONTROLLED by this idiot. He would never consider her interests before his own and she’d better be prepared for dealing with his mother. He talks about not wanting a woman on medication … well, he’s probably on all kinds of medications for his demented brain. Be afraid … be very afraid!!!

  411. RunDMB112 says:

    This guy would make a great politician….which is really more a burn at our political status these days than anything else.

  412. maggie says:

    IF…this is true..(if not, it’s pretty funny) just tell me Olga, WHY OH WHY would you ever give a douchebag like him your card. I’ll bet you never will again!

  413. Yes! says:

    Can I get the rest of that number? I want to call Dmitri. There is nothing wrong with me either and I think we could really hit it off.

  414. Tamara says:

    The thing is, when people tell you so adamantly what they are NOT, it’s just their way of telling you exactly who they indeed ARE, themselves…because if a person is sound of mind, they’d figure you were smart enough to see them for what they are without any convincing. Because of my experiences, I’d have to say that my assessment of this guy is that not only is he totally mental, but that he does in fact play games, and that he in no way, shape or form is interested in a strong woman. He’s totally whacko

  415. Dmitri says:

    This is not funny. Why did she not call me back? I’m so great, I eat my own shit.

  416. Amazed says:

    I have never heard of anyone so narcissistic and lame. He is an ass. No wonder he has never had a real relationship. What a freak. He will be alone the rest of his life. I hope he goes to a school for the socially lame.

  417. The real Dimtri says:

    I am the “real” Dimitri. She never called back. I wonder why. I am good looking, and a real catch. Too bad for her. She’s the unlucky one. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Elegant ones as well. Oh well, I guess I’ll have to go back to pounding my pud until SOMEONE calls me back.

  418. Ruthierichgirl says:

    Should have called and taken him for his money. Then dumped his ass!!!!!!!

  419. Nathan says:

    Holy crap. I thought I was an asshole. I thought I was a narcissist. This guy brings it to a whole new fucking level. I mean, honestly, I may be self absorbed, but if I want something I don’t shoot off my mouth and totally ruin my chances. This guy is the biggest douchebag I’ve ever heard. HOLY CRAP. Does this guy give lessons? “Being an Asshole 101″ I’d go to that class.

  420. Kat says:

    Nothing wrong with him… you have to know immediately if someone says “There is nothing wrong with me, in fact I’m only of the one men in this town that doesn’t have anything wrong with him” there is something seriously wrong.

  421. Rose says:

    John Edwards had better watch out, Dimitri looks like he could win the next Biggest Douche in the Universe award! Does anyone else think he sounds like Stephano from A Series of Unfortunate Events? Or the main character’s dad from American Pie?
    Sorry, Dimitri, but there is no such thing as “passive-agressive personality disorder”. There is, however, such a thing as narcissistic personality disorder.

    ^And yes, he does give lessons which could be summed up as “Being an Asshole 101″.

  422. Lynne says:

    That’s just scary!

  423. Funny says:

    This sounds like so many man in this city! Sad but true!

  424. dj says:

    I had a pet budgie with a mirror who was less self-absorbed than this guy.

  425. diana says:

    American Psycho

  426. forreal? says:

    Dimitri doesn’t have game.

  427. Seashells says:

    So, Dimitri….who told you that you were a catch?


  428. MangoTJ says:

    First of all, one message was more than enough. The message shouldn’t have lasted
    more than 10 seconds! “Hi Olga! hope you doing well, ’twas nice meeting you and hope to hear from you soon” adios. Second, if this guy gets laid at all.. it has to be with women who eat his overtalking, self-strocking, self esteem ego. By the way these women either have low self esteem or really believe he’s gonna save them
    from financial hardship(ie.. money hungry bitches). There are alot of these women
    out there. Finally, his phone should be posted! I think plenty of people would like to
    call him and simply laugh! :)

  429. tig malloy says:

    OMG! what a fucking psycho!

  430. Ryan says:

    I still can’t understand why she won’t call him back…

  431. Stan says:

    Look, All you guys and girls out there quit dishin my cuz Dmitri, maybe he ain’t Ms. Manners and he don’t read Dear Abbey, and he’s not gonna be a rocket ship dentist, but he’s a good fella. Yea, Dmitri don’t need no help when it comes to gettin women. He don’t take no whores neither. I know that his pappa come from some kinda small island where they grow olives. So, his pappa keeps the boy in a good supply of olive hair oil so the kid looks reallly good 24/7. That’s right girls love Dmitri and for that matter so do some guys. Yea, I’ll tell you this so you can know Dmitri ain’t no slouch, he won’t mind me tellin you that just the other day when I was over dthere takin out the the trash fro Dmitri’e mom, my aunt Sharmane, (OK, so what, Dmitri lives with his momma. He save lotz of money that way). I saw this stud muffin commin out Dmitri private entryway, smile wipe all over his face. Whoa there Dmitri, he was standing tall at the door no shirt on that bare chcest of his, what a good looking dude, Dmitri is. Now, don’t say nothing about me spillin the beanies about ole stud muffin there. Dmitri don’t want me and the other family members to know he’s such a stud. Yea, that stud muffin looked familiar too, I think he gotta be a football player. Dmitri’s Cuz Deanno

  432. Ashley says:

    Why can’t guys understand when they are just not wanted? Does every guy think they are gods gift to women? Seriously… I know a guy like this, after he was rejected he needed to make excuses to make himself feel better for being rejected!

  433. Nicolas says:

    That guy is either a serial killer, or a very interesting case of high narcissism. What a moron.

  434. Anonymous says:

    what a malaka!!! I’m embarassed to be Greek!!!

  435. Joel says:

    Jay-sus! What a F-in’ donkey-rapin’ DORKwad! -This guy is the load that his mother should have swallowed!!

  436. Fatima says:

    oh my God!!! Serial Killer by far………………….

  437. sarah says:

    wow. not even a douchebag. i sort of want to spit in his face. ” … I don’t play games like that. I’m completely single … I’m great in bed … There’s nothing wrong with me …” Then he erases her number. “maybe you were abused in childhood”? WHAT THE FUCK? “Maybe you’re on some medication …”?
    “You should actually look that up … ‘passive aggressive personality disorder’.”

    I’m not even laughing. If this is real, it just makes me hate most men so much more.

  438. Sara says:

    This can’t be real. But if it is, he probably graduated from Bentley College.

  439. Anonymous says:

    What a dumb fuck

  440. Anonymous says:

    How r there any women left on this earth…… This mans cleaning house

  441. Anonymous says:


    “dimitri” or “john” (whatever) is 4’7″ tall and has

    * a thick uni-brow
    * a fake tan
    * a thimble-sized penis

  442. haza2104 says:

    somewhere, Dmitri is still digging.

  443. FlipGuySF says:

    OMG….Poor man is obviously desperate for love. What a wino? I’m sure this is a prank call. :) )

  444. g2damh says:

    …In a long distance relationship, completely single… we’ve all just heard why you are completely single… what a damn fool u r…

  445. Dean D says:

    OMG…don’t erase my number? What a fucking goober.

  446. Da Yoouper says:

    heres how its gonna work……im a complete catch….theres nothing wrong with me!

    im douching you now, dont pee on me

  447. DeeDeeG says:

    OK, funny as hell, but seems a bit over-scripted… I don’t think it’s real…

  448. Anonymous says:

    you should start taking your medication again….

  449. Anonymous says:

    Wow you suck but I doubt you’re for real.

  450. Anonymous says:

    well here’s the thing…you keep saying you’re single, maybe you should listen to yourself and then you’ll know why, BYE CLUELESS!!!!!!!

  451. Anonymous says:

    Wow, I can’t believe Olga didn’t call him back! I would have in a heartbeat, and would have delivered the most crushing and potentially lethal dose of self-righteous bitchitude I could wring from my throat.

  452. Benzy says:

    it sounds like he is reading one of his 0wn scripts……LOL….c0cky i mite say….But atleast he was there t0 the p0int……Have fun Guyz…..L0serz WELCOME!!!

  453. Warlock says:

    You know whats funnier than this message some of the replies on this thread. Wow if you think this is a normal message or actually feel sorry for this guy, you seriously need to get some help.

  454. Lisa says:

    This is bullshit- it takes place in Toronto.
    I know this guy.

  455. Bonnie says:

    OMG, this guy is rediculous, I know I wouldn’t call someone back if I herd this!!! Also, when I was single there were a couple guys like this that left me messages, and I didn’t call them back ither! CREEPY!!! All you guys out there this is not what you should do to try and pick up a lady! lol

  456. Anonymous says:

    Just when I was thinking about my relationship! OMG I will never date again! If thats whats out there I’ll stick to what I have!

  457. Beth says:

    UN-BE-LIEVABLE! That guy should needs a good ass kicking. I hope that chick called him back and cussed him out.

  458. broken dreamerboy nyc says:

    sad very sad dude ! double your dating guy and sounds like R J .
    the sounds like he is boring no friends , stalker type

  459. danielle and babs says:

    Dimitris posts message on youtube for Olga…


  460. Heidi says:

    Are you freakin kidding me? What a jack off.

  461. KBow says:

    OMG…no way…what a nutjob!!! thanks for the laugh :)

  462. Thomas says:

    … so this would be passive aggressive begging then

  463. liza says:

    Oh man. I totally ran into a guy JUST like this. From London. He was SUCH a douche. I didn’t think you could get worse till I heard this!

  464. mmm says:

    too funny!

  465. Bill says:

    She called him at 3:01.
    Long distance relationship? Yes, she was an Earthling and he was from Uranus.
    Home Depot called him at 2:59 and asked if they could sell him because they specialize in hard to get tools.
    She has issues. He has the whole subscription.
    OMG, no wonder women hate us. LOL

  466. Alex says:

    What a knob.

  467. Devon says:

    Super Douche

    lol i bet he’s a lonely geek that lives in his mom’s basement

  468. Some1 says:

    Abused in her childhood LOL

  469. Meredith says:

    WOW! Douche Bag isn’t strong enough. He’s obviously Canadian…..which doesn’t really mean anything but it does make him sound Douchier.

    And….passive aggressive. If you were wondering what this guy looks like look up passive aggressive in the dictionary, his picture will be right next to it.

    p.s. if you can find anyone out there that isn’t only any sort of meds, that’s completely mentally stable something tells me they aren’t human.

  470. alex says:

    woah. i think HE is the one with passive aggressive personality disorder…

    the marina is a pretty douchey place but this guy sounds like he might be a little too old to be looking for anything there…

  471. anonymous in nyc says:

    I think he has a small penis… and this is how he over compensates for it.

  472. Douche MCDoucherson says:

    This guy is amazing! He has skillz more mad than I could ever dream of!

  473. I’m very PARTICULAR of hwat I like!!!

  474. jv says:

    yeah, i’ve had it before, not only ones, a guy giving me the reasons why i wont go out with him, and of course it’s not them, it is me and/ or my past, my insecurity, i don’t trust man . . . or whatever
    but maybe i just dont wanna waste my time on a guy who i’m not into really into . . .

    tttthhhaaaank’s for keeping us amused guy’s :-)

  475. john says:

    wow i want to slap him hes so up himself it actualy made me feel violent

  476. Samo says:

    Why dont we collect money to get a picture of this Shmuck!! Ladies need to be warned. Besides… I really want to put a face to that message.

  477. Dimitri says:

    Hey losers. She’s on my dick as we speak. You may be interested to know that i just sold my movie script to Warner for $2m.

  478. Tom says:

    My god, that guys a complete ass 0_0
    But Hilarious =p

  479. dmitri says:

    why you guys playing games with my call, eh?

  480. some guy says:

    As the great Calcuaon fron ” Futurama ” once said . ” That was so bad , i think i now have cancer “

  481. diddydoo says:

    apparently some scientists looked at the forensic evidence from this call and determined that there is an 89.7% chance this guy was wearing biz caz when he made the call


  482. Anonymous says:

    Dmitri, you should look up “narcissism” or “narcissistic personality disorder”.
    But you sure gave me a great laugh…

  483. Barney says:

    Passive AGGressive!! and Psychologically normal……….ewwwww I wish he’d call!!!

  484. snappy says:

    Dimitri is very insecure….. just the mere fact he tries so hard to sell himself to get Olga to call back….. if he was “all that and a bag of chips”….. she would have known who he was and called back….he could have just left his name.Less is more. Better to leave some things to your imagination….. No wonder he only chatted with her for just a minute…. any longer she would have bolted instead of giving him her card….unless the card was fake for the purpose of giving to losers because she is approached on a regular basis .
    If you are attractive, you never have to tell people, if your wealthy, you never have to tell people, if you are good in bed, you never have to tell people…..and if multiple women approach you…. you never have to call and leave messages begging for a call back. Any “elegant” attractive women with any sense would never call back a loser like him. She has multiple men approaching her daily and is very picky. ……..pickier than Dimitri.

  485. Captain Tool says:

    Why would this elegant woman feel the need to put my voice mail on a web site? All of you heard the message and it is undeniable that I am the one guy in North America with notyhing wrong with me. I am very obviously a catch. Olga missed out and one of you lucky ladies gets to benefit from her failure to join me as I cruise through life with the balls of the world in my hand.

    Just reach out and I will lead you.

    What a total tool….funniest mesage I ever heard though. Well done Dimitri, you set the rest of us back at least one generation. My wife will love this message though.

  486. Jay says:

    Wow, 3 o’clock deadline! Passive aggressive personality disorder!

    Anyone who has to say: “there is nothing wrong with me” has something wrong with him…

  487. somagirl says:

    I live in San Francisco and have met many a douche, however I would love to get a phone number for Dimitri to have some fun. I am not passive aggressive, just aggressive.

  488. kris says:

    give the guy a break, he’s WORKING ON A MOVIE SCRIPT for chrissakes!!

  489. Dmitiri says:

    All of you are leaving comments because you have a passive agressive anxiety disorder.

  490. Chris says:

    Oh, for God’s sake! What is this crap?
    Yes, there’s nothing wrong with you, chief. You’re just PERFECT!

  491. Joe says:

    I dont’k know why you call him a douche. he is a real catch. he even said so in his message. i think you need to cut the guy a break. now i can understand that the reason you make fun of him is because you have some personal issues. i dunno. maybe your parents didn’t treat you right as kids and now your on medication or maybe someone in your family has issues or maybe your mom has cancer. come on. he said he is amazing in bed and makes good money. he just got out of a long distance relationship. besides that he really is a catch……. seriously….

  492. Drew says:

    growing up with alot of greek ppl… I can totally picture this fucking douchenozzle.. what a complete fuckin waste of space this guy is… he is taking up precious air that we could all be breathing

  493. nissx240 says:

    i would simply relish beating the ever-loving snot right out of this guy. how arrogant can you be? seriously. i really hope i cross paths with this douche someday.

    catch this!!!

  494. mike says:

    If this message is real, which I think it is, cuz i went to his website, then they are encouraging ‘antisocial’ behavior, it seems sociopathic, I’m curious what a psychologist/psychiatrist would say about this guy.

  495. Reginald von Finkerschnitzel says:

    This is his website:


  496. Donn says:

    omg….. lol

    “if your on any sort of medication at all…..im not interested!”…………..haha wtf!! who is this guy!

  497. Allan says:

    This guy is untouchable. He definitely turned on the Christmas lights with his messages, and I respect his advanced sense of humor tremendously … I can’t believe this can actually anger someone, just sit back, listen and enjoy.

  498. AD says:

    This cannot be real. Do people like this really exist?

  499. sarahmanzana says:

    His MEDICAL license got SUSPENDEDDDD!!!! For trying to “hug & kiss 2 women… he DOES sound gay (which there is nothing wrong with it, just come out!) in his interview in the words that he uses and the tone of his voice What a crazy person he is to believe and say that he is quote “really intelligent un-quote and to make other people believe that he really has the answer that just means there are a lot of loosers out there specially in Toronto.. (Sorry!:s) and that, for any women, is just sad

  500. Delicious…! I’m just listening to it again and again because I couldn’t believe it. I mean, this poor guy desperately needs help… but it’s hilarious…

  501. NOT a Douchebag says:


  502. Roman says:

    I love this guy!!

  503. joel s. says:

    sounds like me

  504. Patrick Alina says:

    this guys needs to come out with a SELF HELP REGIMENT!!! What A FIMP!

  505. Anonymous says:




  506. lindsay says:

    Incredible! I want to laugh in his face and then repeatedly kick him in the groin.

  507. Evan~WGTEC says:

    Damn fool.

  508. chris miles says:

    gotta love white people ;)

  509. Anonymous says:

    Am I the only person that imagined Bill O’Reailly leaving these messages because of the picture of him to the right?

  510. Jim says:

    You’re funny Valde. I agree 100%. He’s an idiot.

  511. Anonymous says:

    What a retard.

  512. Anonymous says:

    Are you friggin’ kidding me? Who does this guy think he is? Lol, what a douche.

  513. Anonymous says:

    Sad, just sad. What a loser.

  514. sonia says:

    this fucking loser is not a fake. hes absolutely real. hes from toronto and was out in san fran for god knows what reason. hes a sick twisted bastard. suppposedly lost his medical license in the early 90′s for kissing and hugging patients. sick fuck.


    i am a proud canadian and this douchbag needs to fuck off. i’m not surprised though, hes from toronto.


    haha and he gives classes too on how to be like him. god help you if you give this shithead money to help you meet women this way….i would have kicked him square in the nuts.

  515. Anonymous says:

    what a moron

  516. Anonymous says:

    Holy Fuck, he is a douche bag, there’s nothing wrong wiht anyone who has an anxiety problem, thaqt’s normal

  517. Anonymous says:

    haha, oh my god, is this douche for real? i want to slap him. man, the nerve.

  518. Anonymous says:

    dumbass! filthy dumbass!

  519. SPARTAN45 says:

    LOL, he’s the type of person I’de call the cops on!

  520. booyah says:

    hey retard – it’s timidity, not timidness

    sadly I’m Canadian and he sounds Canadian

    also sadly, some (not all) Greek men are like this – run away!!!

    oh, he also sounds like a narcissist – he should look *that* up (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder)

  521. Rob says:

    He left a message saying that she might have been abused as a child. And then questions her sanity. Why wouldn’t she call back.

  522. Jenn says:

    If any guy left me voicemails like those I’d totally never talk to him again. What a fucking fag. Lmao.

  523. Al says:

    Olga, beware!!

  524. fadedexile says:

    What I love most about this is that a lot of you women flock to guys like this, practically lining up to be shit upon while decent looking, hard working and respectful guys like me are seen as weak and desperate because we treat you the way our mother taught us a lady should be treated. Could anyone out there go for that? anyone???
    prove me wrong…
    36 / M / Arizona in good shape and drug free.
    email: iwantaniceguyforonce@yahoo.com



  526. curezen says:

    would somebody pimp slap this dumbass. he’s an idiot.

  527. Max says:

    this guy sounds like the pickup guy Mystery

  528. gunners says:

    doucheious maximus

  529. Anonymous says:

    this guy sounds like he’s got BPD

  530. KingKorpse says:

    You know that feeling you get when you just need to reach out and stab someone. well yeah i got that feeling from this douchebag but he still no the biggest i know wonder douche dude ripped is on mother off lol his name is DAVE WEST watch out for this douche

  531. Mt says:

    This is fake.

  532. Mt says:

    or a commercial.

  533. skadoo says:

    you gotta be fuckin kidding me….geezzzzzz

  534. LOLOL says:

    It is fake in the sense that he wasn’t being himself. It’s not fake in that he has real intentions. Watch him try to say it was a all just “viral video” since hes being completely owned and needs to cover his ass. Anyone that thinks this guy has balls is just like him. Ego recognizes ego. Hes a con artist. A good natured person can see right through this crap.

  535. Erica says:

    Can you say LOSER he is so stuck on his self its not funny if he has that many women approaching him then what the hell is he doing wasting this womans time…Yea he has a specific type but damn (PATHETIC)

  536. G.O.D. says:

    Oh sure like thats even remotely real.

  537. GerardofNYC says:

    Hey Dimitri, hope you see this message of mine. I’d like to tell you that you are one of the sickest people I’ve heard probably in my whole life. Who says in a phone message that they’re intelligent, a catch, I make good money, I’m good in bed, girls come up to me 6 or 7 times a day? Wow, all those girls coming up to you and you’re still single? Hmmm… Dimitri, you are what the laughing world calls a fracking (Battlestar Fans) ‘A Joke’. People all laugh at you Dimitri, but you walk away with thoughts that you said a funny joke. Wow, dear god, please never let me get so far off the beaten path to ever think or act like Dimitri. With all my heart, I pray. Amen.

  538. Meow says:


    Who gives the girl a bloody deadline?

    I’d laugh if she turns out to be lesbian.

  539. louie bouy says:

    All of Greece turns its head with embarassent and the Greek gods blush with shame for Dimitri the god of Stupidity.

  540. Ashamed2BGreek says:

    I am actually disappointed to be greek right now….

  541. Deb says:

    funny ass chit dude rip for the picking

  542. Tom says:

    maybe your mother has cancer


  543. Singe says:

    douche can’t take a hint

  544. Anonymous says:

    That guy is my new hero.


  545. JC says:

    I am TOTALLY speechless…Oh Yeah, Dimitri, you ARE a douche!!!

  546. ragama12 says:

    wow what a d-bag,he deserves the golden douche-bag award, round of applause please.

  547. Jon says:

    Demitriology. The only religion in this world that doesn’t have something wrong with it

  548. Laney says:

    Dude I definitely would have called him. After the second message, at least.
    Just to tell him everything I could think of that’s actually wrong with him.

  549. Anonymous says:

    HAHA wow….he HAS to be ultra self concious…

    What’s up with the quick picture though after 3 seconds?

  550. charlie says:

    i swear this guy is my brother, he can hear people talking out of the block walls, he is a complete scitoid and he not wrong about himself, ever never is he wrong about himself fucking idiot

  551. Heidi Montag says:

    I would totally cal him back. He sounds like we would have alot in common.

  552. Carol says:

    Now here is a guy who will die in his own arms……what a piece of work. ps Maybe she was away for the week, did he think of that? What a loser….with a capital L

  553. My2cents says:

    Ya know what I find really sad about this? According to previous comments posted, Olga wound up getting together with this f’n jackass. And marriage? OMG! I think I’m gonna HURL!

    Olga! What form of stupid are YOU? This guy sounds like nothing but a creep, obviously has no respect for women (you are included in that category), and seems to have no moral values what so ever! Apparently, YOU’RE not only a douchebag too but also desperate and have no respect for yourself!

    If he’s being approached by as many women as he says he is, then who’s to say he won’t leave you when he finds some other woman who’s just as low of self esteem and as desperate as you when he tires of you? And this moron will do just that to you.

    Remember… a douchebag is a douchebag no matter how much or how little money he’s got. Believe me. I’ve been on both sides of the financial fence. The only difference was that the rich moron threw money at his douchebagginess… the other just threw whatever he could get his hands on at the time.

    For your sake I hope you’re stupidity is due to a birth defect. In which case, that’s just how you are. If not… then STOP BEING SO DESPERATE! It’s very unattractive or lady-like.

    Good luck to you, Olga!

  554. kelkat says:

    Ya right. These messages are so f**kn unbelievable. This must be a joke. If these messages are really sincere, this guy has to do some pretty heavy duty therapy!

  555. Lizard Man says:

    Because this nut killed her sorry ass… This message is his cover for the whole goddamn thing!

  556. kevin says:

    Here is the announcement for Dimitri The Lover’s next “Toronto Real Men” meeting …


  557. Rupert Pupkin says:

    I liked it.

  558. Anonymous says:


  559. David says:

    He…He is a … genius. (or mental)

    “Let the romance begin”

  560. Jen says:

    The reason she didn’t call him back is because she didn’t give him her number. This was on Radio One a while back. They have a phone number called ‘flirt divert’, which you give to people who want your number if you actually don’t like them.
    So it was on the radio a long while ago. It’s sooo funny. :P

  561. Subrideo says:

    Oh. My. God. This fellow is clearly both very insane and very lonely!

  562. The Man says:

    It looks like the Borat people are involved in the film about Dimitri The Lover: http://noataylor.blogspot.com/2008/08/dimitri-lover.html

  563. Anonymous says:

    how on earth is he a “complete catch?” What an ass.

  564. P.I. Staker says:

    sometimes you just gotta say WTF?

  565. M.D. Miller says:

    This human needs serious help, perhaps suicide!

  566. OH NO!!! says:

    What an arrogant son of a bitch!!! I hope this is FAKE cause no real person could be so stupid!!!

  567. W Holland says:

    What a Schmuckleberry Finn!

  568. B Rent says:

    This guys my hero!

  569. momo says:

    Seems like a pretty cool dude…hope she called.

  570. Songbird says:

    I had the worst day EVER!!!!!! And this made me laugh.

  571. Pablo says:

    This is my hero….

  572. Vegas cocktail server says:

    Oh my God, I think this guy has been in Vegas. We get this crap all the time! We get a lot of Joey wanna be’s. Dmitri is right there up on top of the list. What a loser. If this guy was for real, she should’ve called him back at 3:00. And told him how f#%ked up he actually was. I would like to take a peek into his medicine cabinet? Thank God he’s good and bed. So if you had to go on a date with him, you can just duct tape his mouth to shut his tired ass up. Use him and throw his ass out the front door. (and telling him to lose your number).

  573. chris says:

    what a douche….

    kinda raises the national average of douche dont you think?

  574. chris again says:

    BY THE WAY he is an insults to greeks, im only half but still….

  575. Derrick says:

    jesus fucking christ… jesus fucking christ

  576. MannyFesto says:

    Thi guy is my hero

  577. janice says:

    wow this just had to be from toronto didn’t he, i must go on a hunt for him in greektown and make him my own, what a catch! ..barf.

  578. Becca says:

    See what happens when a person spends so much time in their parents basement playing Dungeons and Dragons

  579. Jimbo says:

    Demitri should be locked up…….That dude is a menace to society.

    I’ll ASSHHUME that Olga never got back to him. Poor Demitri, what a tool box. Canadian freak!

  580. chick from PA says:

    This is a GEM! I wonder if he knows what a dick he really is?!?

  581. Spud Monkey says:

    This guy needs to ass fucked by a farm animal…fucking Greek ass pounding, hamster-hiding douche nozzle.

  582. Steph says:

    Sounds like the kind of Douchebags I occasionally have to put up with at my call center from Canada. So dumb and irrational.

  583. Kim says:

    Oh. Wow. This guy’s only use in society is to serve as chum.

  584. Susan says:

    Funny, funny stuff (fake or not)… what a rod!

  585. Major says:

    I would be willing to bet that if you comined all the lays from the KJ’s on this thread they would not totla Dimitris #…

    That being said, he screened her pretty heavily and qualifies her too soon.. But her is a very good looking greek and a 10+ in looks so he can pull this kind of VERY direct loony shit.. and it probabbly works becuase guys usually kiss ass instead of makie rules.

    His ego is tight. Admit it. He knoes he is the prize. She was lame enough to submit this to this you toob internet gaysite so she obviously WAS validated and is seeking valiadtion… Not to mention that her sets the frame as ONS.. I am deleting this # LOL LOL

    Mother has cancer.. Wow that is some serious state spinning..!

    Yikes… If he wasnt 100% George Clooney handsome he’d be fukced! LOL

  586. waldo says:

    why is there a half second pic of a chinese guy on a bike pulling huge bails of lettuce
    between the three second and four second mark? that’s weird.

  587. johnny says:


  588. Well, where do i start, Take a gun, LOAD IT, put it in your mouth, and then, PULL THE TRIGGER, bang no more douche bag, plain and simple dude, that way nobody has to deal with you, and you should look up SELF OBSESSION PERSONALITY DISORDER, (obviously directed toward the caller)

  589. D9el says:

    haaahahahahahahahah, this is great!!! can it be real!? if so, he surely is insane :D

  590. g says:

    I wish i can be like that. *HIc *hic

  591. you all need to get a life says:

    Sure this guy has issues, its obvious but it’s not unexpected in this big world.
    if you are all entertained by this then you all need to get a life.
    that was a waste of my time.

  592. RishMaster says:

    Wow, this guy runs a tight show. He must be field testing that golden routine.

  593. juanito loco says:

    Shane Says is absolutely right!
    This IS Dimitri the Lover.

    Go to:
    and listen to as much as you can bear of the radio interview, and you will recognize the voice and demeanor.

    Fake, an act, or whatever, he is still a DOUCHE!!!

    I actually feel sorry for him. Even if he actually DOES get as much action as he claims… how shallow, how lonely, how insignificant of an existence?

    He must truly be miserable and self loathing.

    People are incapable of experiencing true love if they can’t first love themselves.

  594. Mike says:

    so, you’re saying he didn’t call back a third and fourth time, or you didn’t put those messages in this clip – that’s part two?

    also that’s a lovely accent he has, …. New Jersey?

    two questions for (you all need to get a life): is your name really Dimitir? and why did you assume she’d call you back?

  595. Dominic says:

    It’s like he can see past everything but he’s totally wrong and creepy. I’m so high and I was laughing the entire time.

  596. Ruth says:

    This guy should walk himself into traffic.

  597. miss lady says:

    wow…this guy sounds a bit…..i don’y know….insane!!!
    and he doesn’t wan tHER if SHE has “issues”!!!!
    what a loser

  598. miss lady92 says:

    wow…this guy sounds a bit…..i don’t know….insane!!!
    and he doesn’t wan tHER if SHE has “issues”!!!!
    what a loser

  599. SoontobeUrX says:

    HAHA what a flaming butt hole..I would have him meet me just so I can B**tch slap him in person for being so fkn arrogant..Who gives a rats A$$ if he loses the number…he needs to check himself before he wrecks himself..And even if this was fake..you have to be a real oxymoron to even prank this tape..haha..what state is this pony from..A word of advice bronco..since your elevator isn’t traveling to the top floor. If you can’t dazzle her with your brillance (obviously you have none) don’t baffle her with your Bull$hit..THE END

  600. Jake says:

    Sorry to ruin the fun but this is not real. Dimitri is a performance artist. Here is his web page. http://dimitrithelover.com/

  601. JMillz says:

    Can everyone please refrain from making fun of my Dad. If you would have seen Olga you too would have left a message like this.

  602. MR TUMNUS says:

    Why did she not call him back, he seemed like a really nice, genuine bloke.

  603. Dmitri is both sad and real says:

    THIS IS REAL. Sadly, pathetically, scarily real.

    Dmitri is so extreme that he may be perceived as a performance artist, but he is actually truly like this in real life and it is not an act. He is more than a Douche, he is a FRIKKING PSYCHOPATH.

    I AM ONE OF THE WOMAN HE HAS TRIED THESE LINES ON… TOLD ME I WAS ELEGANT, ETC…. My friends, he hung out EVERY DAY in my local Toronto coffee shop FOR MONTHS being totally predatory towards every woman who came in, using the same tired lines every time, to the point where the manager banned him from the shop. He is a joke in Toronto.

    Ladies, if you see this greasy-haired, shitty-suited douchbag supreme, please dismiss him in the most ball-crushing way possible. Help the emotional retard out, will you?

    If you check out his website, you will find that his dream is to have an army of sluts, he sees himself as some kind of twisted jesus figure and that he is 100% certain that female ejaculation is a myth.

    He thinks it’s pee!


    If I ever see him again, I may pointedly and publicly tell him that IF HE BELIEVES FEMALE EJACULATION IS A MYTH, HE IS A TRULY SHITTY FUCKING LOVER.

    Dmitri, if you are reading this (which you probably are, you narcissistic loser) know this: Your methods will consistently attract substandard, abused, damaged women and one day one of them will be so hurt by your emotional terrorism and unsatisfied by your pathetic dick that she will probably kill you in your sleep.


  604. kidz4sw says:

    Guys like Dmitiri make me VERY glad I’m married and make me equally frightened for all single women. He’s clearly mentally ill and definitely a stalker. Yikes.

  605. Tiegan says:

    This ASS’s Number (Dimitris, Dimitri) is: 416-918-7014. Toronto, Ontario Canada.

    “Complete Catch” – I don’t think so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    “Maybe” your F’ing CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Who could handle this guy??????? Not even his own mother…That is why she shipped him away from her country.

    He needs to look up the definition of “perfectly normal”……he isn’t it!

    Lets HOPE & PRAY that he doesn’t have siblings and NEVER procreates.

    Lets also hope that this is a joke.



  606. MadameMoi says:

    Here’s a web site with the real story about this guy (real name James Sears):


  607. AJ says:

    It’s true though. No-one says “Call me, hands over a business card and then doesn’t return calls.

  608. John Doe says:

    What an incredible douche bag! If this guy were anymore full of himself, he’d expolde!

  609. Tor says:

    Haha – I am truly stunned now!!!
    Kudos to Olga for making this public.

  610. Ian P says:

    Anyone else suspect this might be a very crude Andy Kaufmannish stunt? Including making his own bad press.

  611. Ian P says:

    I suppose you all think Borat is a real dude from Kazakhastan too.

  612. Oliver Marini says:

    i want to punch this man in the face so bad it’s unreal

  613. Anonymous says:

    There is no way that is a real person living on earth!

  614. Gabe2187 says:

    I wonder what his movie is about.

  615. Sarit says:

    OMFG – I’d would have returned the first call saying “thanks but no thanks”. But the second call, I would have said, the only psycho in this room is you buddy. What an utter display of douchiness.

  616. double d says:

    not only do i want to kick this guys ass, but we all, and im sure i speak for everyone, need to know if there is follow up to this…we need to get in touch with olga and have her call this f__k bag back and go off on him!!! Hopefully the people at Holytaco will be able to help!

  617. TWilliams says:

    This has to be a prank. HAS to be. Please. I need to believe that in order to avoid going on a shooting spree.

  618. Chris says:

    This cannot be real

  619. beazy says:

    thanks to olga for keeping the message and posting it, so we all can laugh and lighten our afternoons.

    it’s amazing he’s single. clearly, there is nothing wrong with him. whatsoever.

  620. Holy Shit. says:

    the area code 416 is SAN FRANCISCO. Seriously. Its even in the fucking description.

    Oh, and this guy is a total fucking queer.

  621. Ditty says:

    I think this guy walks around with a vibrator in his arse!! What a jerk off!

  622. One of those Girls says:

    Holy crap, he approached me in Toronto. after I didn’t phone him 6 minutes after I said I would (I was at a KITH performance with my mom), he texted me 3 pages of a diatribe about how rude and inconsiderate I was, and to go back to my tastless northren hick men!

    Anyways, I called him acting aloof, like I didn’t check those yet, and he still ranted, so I shouted “Well sorry for wanting to hang out with my mother who has cancer!” and hung up. So he added that to his speech?

  623. Mia says:

    Thats just sad

  624. Snack says:

    That guy will be single for the rest of his life….CHEERS!

  625. Heather says:

    And who needs the medication?!?!?!?

  626. groovella says:

    And this kook thinks there’s NOTHING wrong with him. HA! my ass!
    I hope he finds out his message monologues are making the www circuit.
    He needs to know.

  627. Razlin says:

    This guy is the hugest loser and poser on the planet. “Working on movie script… very single… in san francisco… i’m greek… What an arse… Please publish the whold number so we the general public can call him back and make his life a living nightmare at least until he gets a new phone.

  628. James says:

    Holy shit what a ass!!!

  629. rick says:

    does anyone have this assholes phone number….I want to call him?

  630. Bill says:

    hes greek. thats all there is to it.

  631. Just Poetic says:

    You know what, theres someone for everyone….including a super duper asshole like him. I wanna see this “elegant” woman that he’s going completely goo-goo gaa-gaa over. Probably he’s gonna be an 80 year old virgin if he keeps talking like that. And just wait till he meet his arch nemesis called restraining order!

  632. This Guy says:


    AZOMG, seriously this guy is awesomesauce personified.

  633. Greg says:

    Is this guy for real or what??

  634. Mona says:

    hahahahahahahaha. Maybe you were abused? Maybe your mother has cancer???? I think he forgot o take his medication. WHAT A DOUCHE!

  635. Please see my website and all of you mouth-breathing ‘tards can hope to get as much poontang as I do. You can all kiss my ass, becuase I rule and all the haters sit back and play with their ding-dongs. I hope you all die.

  636. z says:

    ahhahahah “if ur on some kind of medication for anxiety, im not interested but otherwise call me” haha what a tool

  637. Breeg says:

    What a twat

  638. Ben says:

    His number .. PLEASE GIVE IT TO ME.

  639. CD says:

    What a controlling, domineering jerk! And this was just the beginning, imagine what he’ like as a relationship progresses!

  640. cathleen says:

    I think that was GEORGE W!

  641. j. says:

    quiet nova -

    “It is nobodys fault. Humans are very psychologically complex and this man has simply found a loophole in the female wiring.”

    how can you possibly say that it’s nobody’s fault??? it’s his fault for manipulating women and acting in such an immoral and unethical manner. the truth is he IS a jackass. he is a terrible, f**ked up man with no soul. his life is a waste. and what’s worse is that he doesn’t stop at wasting his own life; he goes out of his way to cause pain in women’s lives and to manipulate them into doing things that they will regret. he’s a sheisty as*hole.

  642. CD says:

    I scrolled up and saw the post from the guy this is about, “The REAL Dimitri” and I clicked on his name and it takes you to his site and you can listen to a radio interview with him. While it may be common for men to figure out strategies to get women in bed, it’s still offensive. Women are more than receptacles for a man to get off with. Dimitri, I would be shocked if you aren’t carrying at least one STD. Condoms won’t save you from asymptomatic genital warts and herpes.

  643. youknowwho says:


  644. Aussie Chick says:

    OMG – let’s hope his blood line runs out with him!!

  645. Kiera says:

    Oh. My. God. I want to hurt him so badly.

  646. Canadian says:

    if by hurt you mean passionately make love to, then thats cool haha

  647. Cholnia says:

    i would like to see how he look like

  648. anoNYmous says:

    there was nothin better than readin these comments!!!!!

    No wonder he is “completely single”

  649. bigZ says:

    … its not in san Fransisco its Toronto the area code is 416 thats Toronto’s area code and this guy is really desperate and really full of himself what a dick lmao asshole

  650. Jewel Ferraro says:

    HAHAHA! LOL, no wonder he’s a jackass, he’s Greek. Don’t touch that shit with a ten-foot pole girl! They are uncultured savages who do not know how to treat women.

  651. Anonymous says:

    I dated Dimitri for a year and believe it or not.. Hes treated me with all respect, and was wonderful to me. Everyone seems to think he treats woman like crap hes completely opposite.. Total gentleman, very intelligent, and very giving and kind. Thats all I have to say… Obviously you dont know the truth.

  652. Anonymous says:

    And by the way, Im a very secure woman. I dont date men that treat me with disrespect or try to control me. Its funny reading the comments of people who dont even no him..

    Dimitris X

  653. Eli says:

    Wats fuckin wrong with you ppl? Why are u cursing the guy? he is fine and said nothing wrong (technically).

  654. Chris says:

    I wanna punch him in the face

  655. Deedee says:

    Hey, anonymous at 8:34 and 8:39…. I mean, HI DIMITRI

    No, man, you totally suck. Like, you do. Just do yourself a favor and kill yourself. I know you don’t think it’s sad that you have to leave moronic self-deprecating messages to people and that you need to leave messages pretending to be women everywhere. But once you realize what you’ve done, you’re gonna want to end your life.

    So do it, dude. Better sooner than later.

  656. Demitry says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH i wish i had the skills to talk to ladies like that, I wouldnt still be a virgin :(

  657. lmaonade says:

    That guy is the man, and no one should ever tell him otherwise.

  658. mike says:

    I guess the very fact that the message was put online means this girl didn’t by his retarded act. The guy should walk in front of a passive aggressive bus.

  659. James says:

    That was kind of a let down. From the title, I thought this was going to be a whole lot worse.. like he was going to keep calling back 7 or 8 times. It simply sounds like a guy with a big ego, but it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting.

  660. gangcontrol says:

    haha douche

  661. chris says:

    hi i too am looking for a psychologically normal elegant women who may or may not be attending kimotherapy for her ailing mother

    o my gosh guys i cant breathe im laughing so hard

  662. yoo says:

    OMGGGG. i really really want to call this guy. anyone got the number?

  663. Ch0p5t1ckB01 says:

    “I’M COMPLETELY SINGLE!” … LOL, after hearing these messages, I can see why XD

  664. Dochiest guy says:


    i have never heard of a guy liek that. he seemed needy but alpha at the same time! WTF?!?!?!

  665. Rene says:

    I’ve actually gotten messages like this. Fuckin’ stalker material.

  666. o.m.f.g says:

    That was the DUMBEST s@$t i have ever heard! what and obnoxious, arrogant, self rightious bastard. He sounds like he thinks he’s better than everyone else and to MOST women…that a deal breaker. I hope for the love of god that that was a joke b/c we are all doomed if that moron actually meant that…

  667. Stig says:

    Evan – She’s probably just not psychologically normal.

  668. Dr. Neptune says:

    Woman date men based on themselves.

  669. Britt says:

    haha that was awesome

  670. SeattleBuzzKill says:

    Yea, someone said it, but this sounds like a guy who has listened to all the
    “How to get women into bed” MP3′s and DVD’s off the internet and considers himself a playa yo.

    That shit is for 19 year old frat boy douche bags, or bald loser 38 year old dudes working on ‘a movie script’.

    Bet he has the herps too.

  671. Anonymous says:

    That guy will never get laid without paying for it. Ever. Not a chance in hell. Dude must have one hand that’s 10x stronger than the other.

  672. Anonymous says:

    I looked up “Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder” on Google, but all I could find was a lengthy case study about socially inept, maladjusted, spoiled mama’s boys who date girls half their age so they’ll have somebody to talk to that’s on their same emotional level. Probably just a coincidence.

  673. Rob says:

    Can Dimitris do my Tax Return. I need that sort of “persuasiveness” to get some claims through – if you know what I mean.

  674. duckey says:

    hahahahaha i want to meet this guy… this was amazing

  675. joequincy says:

    This is why my phone number (at least as far as random drunk people know) is 916-384-0237.

    Feel free to google that. I dunno, maybe that earns me some badge of douchebaggery, but I’d much rather it be that than trying to get rid of assholes like this guy.

  676. Popoki says:

    400+ comments, most by men, all of whom wish this poor guy to come to a violent, (cajone-less preferably) end… what is it about this phone message that brings out such HATE in the Men of the Internet?? It’s not YOU that he threatens is it?

    Are you sure you aren’t just trying to protect WEAK and FRAGILE women from the clutches of this assertive, confident male who claims to satisfy any woman, even those that you cannot…? :D

  677. Rachel says:

    This has to be fake since no one’s answering machine will hold a message that long.

  678. Athina says:

    This guy represents an exaggerated version of the typical greek attitude today: they (and only they) believe they are the shit, the superior race, when to the whole rest of the world, they are just scum and sleazebags. They should stick to their regular inbreeding and save the rest of the world from being exposed to their horrible behavior.

  679. 100% Man says:

    He said all right. You western women do not deserve anything better at all. Only spermo-toxicated idiots can “respect” you. I am happy I have better choice as I am from Soviet Union (just live here out of love for money). I am going to bring my second wife to Canada soon. First one became too old (just 8 years younger than me) and westernized just in 8 years here. Next one is 25 years younger and will be good enough for next 8 years or so.

  680. Athina says:

    Hey dumbass: FYI, I am GREEK. However, I respect western culture very much and am sick of the ridiculous European male attitude. Thank you very much for proving my point for me. ;-)

  681. Chidi Chidi says:

    hahahah this is fucking awesome!

  682. FunnyGal says:

    This is great! I actually know this person!! HA HA HA! At first when I heard this message I thought someone hacked into my phone and posted my messages Better yet, this guy is married check it out! http://wedding.weddingchannel.com/contentsets/show.asp?vhl_uid=617041708

  683. drew says:

    why are greek guys such douches??

  684. Mevox says:

    Dmitri’s Ultimatum.

  685. Kate says:

    Oh yeah. There’s totally nothing wrong with you, dude.

  686. northbeach says:

    a real dreamboat…

  687. goobie says:

    wow, this guy is a real piece of work. any way we could find out his number or where he lives? i’d love to show up at his place with a film crew and follow the guy around town….then post the videos on youtube. my favorite part is when he says ‘this is how it’s going to work……” what a fruitcake.

  688. Girl Says says:

    Holy cr@p… are you serious?

  689. olawl says:

    olawl. Looks like someone’s very egotistical and narcissistic. What a fag.

  690. Dear GAWD!!! says:

    You have got to be kidding!!!!! WTF is up with this weirdo???? So funny!!!!! I can’t stop laughing!!!

  691. Queen St. girl says:

    He ASKED ME FOR MY NUMBER last night on Queen St. West (Toronto)!!
    He seemed pretty cheesy so I said NO and he gave me his number instead.

    He said he was a doctor, was very confident and actually not bad looking.
    BUT BUT BUT he came off too smooth and something seemed fishy.
    So I googled his number and name …and end up finding a plethora of articles about him!

    BTW – he is NOT even Greek…he probably just thinks it sounds more exotic and it gives him a cultural exemption to be more “old-school” in his approach.
    The first thing I said to him was” OK, you are NOT from Toronto right?” Because men in Toronto rarely approach women so directly like that.

    If I was not SO morified – I would feel sadness for this guy. Some really messed up stuff must have happened to him as a kid to be so fucked up. He was a doctor and lost his lisence due to his sexual misconduct, sex addiction and mental instability. He must feel like a total failure.

    check it out:

    Dimitri the Lover AKA Dr. James N. Sears


  692. Anonymous says:

    Sounds like Dmitri needs to look up personality disorder.

  693. bluwballz says:

    What is it with the Greeks….They got more hair than a musk ox, and bigger f-in noses like a african elephant? What’s the catch Petree Dish?

  694. Henry says:

    this sounds like someone i know in a few years haha

  695. Dictionary says:

    “Passive Aggressive, look it up” he says.

  696. Anonymous says:

    I hated him in GTA4, I still hate him now:P

  697. Anne says:

    I love when guys insult me and leave ultimatums on my answering machine. It’s just so hot! And what is wrong with this girl that she didn’t call him back? Mother with cancer, mental problems? Oh wait, maybe she just doesn’t hate herself!

  698. Libby says:

    What the Fuck, call the police..

  699. Marina says:

    Wow – Just google this Russian guy and you will find a lot of interesting information… Enjoy :)

  700. Erin says:

    Holy Crazy Guy! I really hope She never calls him back… for her safety!!

  701. Debi says:

    What a disgusting, horrible person. I wonder if he understands just how horrible he is. His mommy told him he was special and he made the mistake of believing it.

  702. kai says:

    how… how can anyone be such a complete an utter ASS!?

  703. somejerk says:

    lol-fucking-l. what an ass fuck.

  704. douche v turd says:

    “i suggest you look up passive aggressive!!” genius. the man is clearly the most normal in the city….

  705. hai says:

    fuking canadian ppl, weird mofukas

  706. Drew says:

    Wow. Everything’s been said, I just need to contribute to say that I would hang out with this guy for fun. I could see coming back from a day with him with lots of stories to tell.

  707. Anonymous says:

    I lov Olga… Long Live :D

  708. Dima says:

    No shit… this guy read the game and took it to a wayyyyyyyy douchier level. “so heres how its gonna work” “There is nothing wrong with me” “im erasing your number right now” “abused in childhood” “maybe your on some medication” HA HA HA HA. If you’ve read “The Game”, then you can definitely tell he has.

  709. Dave says:

    That is absolutely unbelievable. Just goes to show, give a guy a self-help book…if he’s just an imbecile in the first place and internalises all of it, it’ll just make him a more confident imbecile. Good God, what a hard listen.

  710. Tasha says:

    God if a guy called me and said this i would punch him.

  711. Fabio says:

    this is the holy grail of douchebaggery.

  712. Joe Coolidge says:

    This is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while. Sad thing is that there are guys out there like this!

  713. Killer Raj says:

    This is scripted, this message is made for this kind of a website. There is no way this message was actually left on a machine. The quality of audio is too clean to be from a machine.

  714. Richard Simon says:

    “Absolutely fucking brilliant” would not even begin to describe this viral marketing campaign. Dimitri The Lover is the next Andrew Dice Clay. Check out his web site at http://www.dimitrithelover.com and focus on the sections covering Gay Marriage and Dog Like Submission of women. I laughed until I peed.

  715. swm41 says:

    This guy should be castrated.

  716. buttmuffer says:

    This is the correct way to treat a bitch. They must shut the fuck up, and bend over. If she’s on medication, or has a psychiatric problem, all the better I say. Get her loaded up on cheap booze and let her have it. This Olga bitch needs to have her cheeky little head read. I’d have tracked her down, and shoved that phone up her ungrateful little arse. Women should feel lucky that we men even speak to them.

  717. Liz says:

    This guy is an uber cunt.

  718. the Jesus says:

    Don’t worry guys, he’ll burn.

  719. Shaman says:

    Olga, PLEASE send Dimitri the link to this, I REALLY want to read his rebuttal!!

  720. Anonymous says:


  721. HOTMUMMA1 says:


  722. Anonymous says:

    Holy crap.

    My girlfriend and her sister were in a coffee shop in Toronto and this dude approached her sister.

    He was saying this sort of crap to her (the stuff from the first message), and told them to visit his website.

  723. Anon says:


  724. jamBot says:

    OK, first of all, Anyone that thinks “This is a fake”, is clearly NOT A WOMAN. Because if you were, you KNOW this kind of creep is out there. And most of us (women) have heard something similar, thought this is the worst one I’ve EVER heard.

    Wow, I think Dimitri deserves some sort of prize for the absolutely worst “pick-up” line ever. And yes, this guy is 2 steps from Serial Killer.

  725. nothing2u says:

    No this guy can’t be real, no one is that stupid

  726. Amb says:

    WOW!!! I know a man just like this but he’s much younger. Can we say wife-beater?

  727. Tannim says:

    Change your name to “Dim”tri because you’re not the brightest bulb in the box.

    What an asshat. I know why you’re available. You’re a control freak.


    You should get some help and some meds for yourself.

  728. Jen says:

    LOL. This was on q 100s web page in atlanta lol

    Scroll down to “Dimitri’s Disturbing Voice Mail Messages”


    Heres the idiots web page

  729. Jen says:

    LOL. This was on q 100s web page in Atlanta, Ga lol

    Scroll down to “Dimitri’s Disturbing Voice Mail Messages”


    Heres the idiots web page

  730. Not a douche says:

    you say it’s in san fransisco but his number starts with 416 which is a toronto area code..

  731. ami says:

    It doesn’t seem like SHE wanted to give the number, or volunteered to give it up as indicated in the description

  732. Anonymous says:

    this is awesomeeeeeee.

  733. Nick says:

    Oh my god! this was just on Radio 1 and i came home and stumbled upon this – they mixed it with Eminem’s Stan and it was awesome. Check it out on bbc.co.uk/radio1

  734. Kate in Canada says:

    She probably gave him someone else’s card.

  735. sunny says:

    Isn’t that Dimitri the comedian

    as in

    Arf Arf – (do the doggy bounce)

    from Flight of the Conchords?

  736. Rachelle says:

    I would have called back and been like “go to hades you greek moron”

  737. YoMomma says:

    Actually, there was an earlier comment questioning the validity of this recording– they said that it was here in the bay area, but the phone area code is from Toronto.

    However, it’s fairly easy to deduce that he is most likely using a cell phone. My friend from NorCal is in FL with her cell phone w/ a 707 area code (which is NorCal) and also Mr. NubDick says that he is “erasing her number from his phone” which obviously suggests that it’s a cell phone. He also talks briefly about a land line, which he refers to rather coldly, suggesting that he doesn’t like them.

    And finally, she probably gave him the business card and told him to call her because she didn’t want to talk to him anymore on the street. It’s much easier to ignore a phone. Obviously he didn’t take the hint.

  738. Jan'et says:

    I think I dated this guy once, but he was going by the name, Mike Rich. Total and complete asshat!
    So what do you say to a man like that? “Goodbye” sums up my thoughts nicely.

  739. Anon says:

    LOL this Douche has got a website.

    who the hell tells a woman “Im a complete catch” I mean if you are a “catch” its pretty obvious.

    This guys got some major denial issues.

    he also has this stupid website LMAO http://www.dimitrithelover.com

  740. Meinnh says:

    Ok. Where do I begin? When I first heard this guy, I was actually afraid for Olga. I thought, “Stalk ya lata”…but then I went to the website, and read about this guy, and he seriously needs help. He doesn’t want a woman who is independent,confident,opinionated, or what I would believe to be a woman with her own mind who can’t be lead or controlled. He wants a woman who will take care of him, won’t mind if he cheats behind her back, ( because its all about him ) and who stays at home stirring the pots of food she’s prepared for him, and sews his socks. Oh wait, his mother! He wants a mom! I’m sure he’ll get it because there are loads of woman out there, who look at magazines thinking they’re not skinny enough, smart enough, beautiful enough to entice a man of strong looks and confidence, and who will put up with basically being treated like crap, because they feel like crap. But I promise you, the moment they get self esteem, confidence and know who they are, they would dump this guy like a bad habit…and he’ll be alone…again! No one will stay long term with him for too many reasons to count, and he knows it. So…Dimitri, or James Spears, a discredited medical doctor, who no longer can practice because of being the type of man he truly is, a delusional man, who needs serious help, not more headlines or articles in newspapers to feed into his ego, but serious help, go and be with woman who are needy now, because soon….Dimitri’s looks will fade, his hair will whiten and fall out, his body will no longer make woman say to themselves, ( Hmmm…I wonder what he looks like without clothes, because they won’t want to know ) and he will be alone…seriously alone…but look on the bright sied Dimitri…there’s always prison….!! And believe me, if there is a hell, you will find out what it’s all about someday, and hopefully pay dearly for the way you have treated women. Good luck with that….

  741. Mepo says:

    Holy Shit!!! What an asshole, someone give him a revolver with one bullet. That phone call is news all over the world, Greetings from Mexico

  742. Jeremy Osborne says:

    Whoa, that’s amazing. Whichever commenter said this was total David DeAngelo bullshit was right on the ball. What a fucktard.

  743. steffen says:

    wow. fucking wow.
    i… i don’t even know what to say to this.
    no clue.
    “i’m one of the few men in this city without something wrong with me….”
    wow. he has himself nailed doesn’t he?
    off the top of my head the only thing i can point out that IS fucking wrong with him is the fact that he is from san francisco.
    fucking california anyway.

  744. Wendy says:

    This guy has obviously been to way to many mental health professionals! If this guy could he would f*ck himself with his own crank! A TOTAL PSYCHO!!!!

  745. Andreas Stavros says:

    So THAT’S where I’ve been going wrong??!?

  746. Thegrayway says:

    Yeah, a complete catch. A complete catch of douche.

  747. Clay says:

    This guy needs ta go to a club and get knocked out.

  748. LisaTex says:

    This guy is obviously very desperate. I agree with the other posters…..I’ve met alot of men who sound like this…….its sounds more and more common. Fortunately, I did NOT marry one of these twisted men.
    Change your phone number and never give out a business card UNLESS you feel you know the person.

  749. Riss says:



  750. Allison says:

    None of you should/would ever want to meet this type of person. I think it matters less whether this particular message was staged. There are unfortunately a number of people out there like this. If you are interested in learning more about it, please read Gavin DeBecker’s book “The Gift of Fear”. It’s an awesome read. Those of you whom suggested other behaviors along the lines of sociopath were closest. But his typecase is among the most dangerous. The ‘control’ factor mixed with the covert threats and narcicissm and the lack of ability to perspective take are all clear signs of the stalker personality- the personality who victimizes as a lifestyle. They get aggressive and violent very quickly. Please don’t think that the average, healthy, clear minded person can do much with someone like this. Reasoning does not have its place. You cannot ‘teach’ someone like this in a few minutes or a few hours or days, how to ‘respect another’. The trick is, if you are not involved in ‘treating’ someone like this, stay as far away as possible. Don’t even call to say you are not interested. Do NOT allow someone like this to get your name OR your number. ANY response to a person like this is a POSITIVE response.
    It sometimes amazes me how few know about this personality type, and what to look for. There are clear signs of violence and aggression and ways we can trust oru intuition … we need to learn it… seriously, read The Gift of Fear….
    –A Licensed Psychotherapist (not in Canada :-) )

  751. sumit says:

    lolz… was it real .. ???

  752. Juaxoo says:

    omg lol
    he sounds like hes trying to play a game with her….if i dont hear back from you, you lose my number…..lmfao…Saw like ?
    haha what a Fuckin Dbag

  753. raksta says:

    dude WHAT THE FAAAK!! was this real???? if it was that guy shud just drop dead hahaahah lol lmao rofl

  754. Wow says:

    I REALLY hope he hears this recording and realizes what a total dick he was. Talk about being full of yourself!!!

  755. Arto says:

    One word, fag, just a fag with a huge dick in his mouth and ass, and if there was anybody sexually abused as a child and into adulthood, its this fuck nut.

  756. Thrash says:

    If he’s really Greek, I’m sure he prefers his deliveries in through the back door. There’s a reason this guy is SINGLE…

  757. skeeser says:

    i’m a therapist, for the record there’s no such thing as passive-aggressive personality disorder.

    he gave her a fucking 3′o clock deadline to calling her back! AAAAHahahhaahahaaa….

  758. clay says:

    At first I hated the guy. Then it grew into love. True love. I was sorry the show ended. I was ready for more.

  759. sdg says:

    He really qualifies as more of an enema type. If I were her, I really believe I would have taken the reigns on this one just for one date for a few more laughs. Unbelievable….

  760. Jesip says:


  761. Christine says:

    My definition of a “catch” and his must be on total different ends of the spectrum!!! What a loser!!!!

  762. SunlitDolfyn says:

    Sad thing is that I’ve dated a guy like that. He is always flaunting his money, and his intelligence. And he thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to tell someone that they would be a knock-out if they lost weight, and offer to buy them nice clothes so they can be seen with him. Or ask them to wear their hair in a certain way to make them more attractive. He always talks about his physique, and how much exercise he does to make himself more attractive. It’s ridiculous. And for those of you who are laughing. you wouldn’t laugh if it was you having to deal with them!

  763. Dbag Dtective says:

    After much analysis of the audio file, with vocal enhancement and pressured speech and stress factors taken into account, I have concluded that this “Dmitri” (if that is his real name), is in fact, a bag of douche. In fact, it could be argued that he has reached an “enlightened” and “Zen Like” level of Douchebaggery that only some Tibetan monks could even aspire to. It is truely wondrous to hear

  764. Anonymous says:

    there is no such thing as a passive aggressive personality disorder. That just makes him sound like an idiot.
    (reference the DSM-IV-TR if you want to double check)

  765. Dmitri says:


    It is now July 2nd and I want you to know that I am still amazing. In fact, I am told that I am truly amazing at least 10 times per day, and not always is it when I am looking at myself in the mirror. So here is the bottom line. I am sending you this last reply via the internet because I threw your number away (listen to second voicemail message). Now if you want to enjoy a lovely, romantic, and truly elegant time with me on the 4th, gazing as the fireworks shine upon my amazingness, then you need to contact me right away at bag@douche.com. Come on? Please? Seriously, my hand hurts from yanking too much, and even it is starting to reject me?! I love you, DMitri

  766. GloriousSpartan says:

    Hey guys like Mr.X and LCK what’s with the anti Greek bullshit? I agree this guy is a douche bag but you mean to tell me there are no douchebags from whatever race you come from? Give me a break…all of you who have a brain look up all of the UN sponsored surveys that consistantly show that Greeks are more sexually active and liberal than anybody else on this planet…….more so than any American or British uptight jerks….so do everyone a favour and think before you open your uneducated trailer-trash mouths!

  767. RD says:

    That guy needs to move to the Castro b/c he is definitely in major denial.. and then he needs to kill himself!

  768. Dbags Anonymous says:

    The background story says San Fran – Dmirtis # is 416 – Toronto Ontario Canada – This guy is a Danforth Ave Douchebag – The worst kind!

  769. Jorgo Hajidakis says:

    he gives greeks a bad name

  770. phantom 309 says:

    omg, that was awesome on so many levels!!! WOW!!! fake or not..

  771. Joe says:


  772. Dimitri's mom says:

    I think he’s into bum sex with hairy dudes in thongs and this is all a front.

  773. Megan says:

    To the above poster who said it was rude that the recipient of the message didn’t call the guy back: don’t you think she might have given him her number in good faith, thinking “He seems nice enough, we’ll give this a shot” and then changed her mind upon receipt of that unbelievably creepy, pathetic message? Even if that guy didn’t immediately set off my fuckwad radar when we met, that message would reason enough to fake my own death, Sam Israel style.

  774. Mark says:

    That is hillarious, but I cannot imagine that any one person is such a dooosh.

    Its got to be fake.

  775. Jill says:

    This has got to be a joke of some kind! On the other hand. . . who could make this up?

  776. The Rock Star says:

    Oh ladies, everyone must know this… The more they advertise they are great in bed, the more they suck!! This man is so full of himself that he does not know how to satisfy someone else.
    And this is a typical case of the spoiled man who thinks he is entitled to have the perfect everything. He will not deal with this issue that issue. People like this are the “worst catch” ever. They do not know what love is and they have difficulty accepting others for their flaws. They think they are entitled to everything and therefore will take love and relationships for granted. The only thing that makes a person a “real catch” is when he or she knows how to treasure and grow a relationship and will not take someone for granted. I’m guessing that he is dating many women at the same time and cannot ever commit. Because he is so full of himself and thinks that he is ENTITLED to perfection.

  777. Daryl says:

    I am one of the few men in the city who has nothing wrong with him!!! LOL and ROTF!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahaha :D

  778. Andreas says:

    Hm, seems like someone studied the Mystery Method and got stuck in the “negging” section. What a douchebag. Even if it is a fake, nicely done.

  779. truth says:

    wow this guy is complete douchbag there is something seriously wrong with him someone just needs to beat his ass

  780. jake says:

    The sad thing is, that all made perfect and logical sense to him. Seriously, who could resist this guy?

  781. peach says:

    I heard the wole thing and I think I’m in love………… how could she let the best thing that ever happen to her go……………… He seemed to be very understanding……………… wait…..maye Olga spoke spanish and didn’t understand him Demitri if you read this call me I’m elegant too 915-867-5309.

  782. Jason says:

    Sounds like the guy- If I ever get divoced, that would end up with my future ex-wife.
    Wait, does mean I’m a douche also?

  783. Jimbo says:

    LOL! Douchebag? Maybe. But she’ll never, ever forget him. How many guys has this girl met that she forgets two seconds later? He definitely made an impression. Some work on the technique and he might actually get laid.

  784. jojo says:

    OMG!!!!! this guy is completely messed up. he needs help real bad. it sounds like one of my ex-room mates rambling messages she would leave me trying to rob me of my sainty. they would be a match made in loony bin heaven.

  785. Nick says:

    I heard this on the radio in Atlanta, GA (USA). This guy is a complete deuche!! By the way, this whole thing went down in Toronto, Canada. And him referencing a 416 Area Code is proof to that. He’s still a deuche though…

  786. Anonymous says:

    He sounds like a nice man. :)

  787. 100% Man says:

    who cares about worthless western women? let them “respect” themselves! ;-)

  788. sira says:

    lol .. “you should look that up: ‘passive aggressive’ ”

    He definitely has a good shtick. Douchebags are a dime a dozen, but a comprehensive douchebag, now that takes some talent. Not that being a mysogynistic arse is a new trick for picking up women.

  789. Kendra says:

    Wow….he insulted her so bad at the end there lol..He ugh sure needs to give himself a ego boost for someone who is “such a catch” .Im glad she posted his message online She should of left his number LOL he sounds like he needs to be brought down a peg or two..although maybe he is not really that bad irl.

    and 100% man funny how you cant post your real name.

  790. Brian says:


    I guess I am a doosch bag too, because I have a hairy back, bald head, gay neatness, and have a complex about women blowing me off. I suppose it is because of how many women I have blown off, and how bad I felt about it later, after hearing them whine about it. All hail the douch! I think he is awesome! He laid it all out there, and if she ain’t biting, then she can go and be with a non-douch-bag-type. You know, the non-douche-bags, they watch football, have hair on their head, smooth female like bodies, they drink beer to appear more manly, and pretend not to care about women, but it is cute and endearing to women and other men I suppose: but there is always the chance they will care, and then the romance will ensue when they become men! This guy knows what he wants, and it is this girl: bravo to him for being so determined and laying it all out there in a fit of honesty and manly pride!!!!

  791. dantrons says:

    Wow… that just happened.

    I had to listen twice to make sure he actually said that

  792. Frank T.J. Mackey says:

    Respect the cock! And tame the cunt! Tame it! Take it on headfirst with the skills that I will teach you at work and say no! You will not control me! No! You will not take my soul! No! You will not win this game! Because it’s a game, guys. You want to think it’s not, huh? You want to think it’s not? Go back to the schoolyard and you have that crush on big-titted Mary Jane.

    Respect the cock. You are embedding this thought. I am the one who’s in charge. I am the one who says yes! No! Now! Here! Because it’s universal, man. It is evolutional. It is anthropological. It is biological. It is animal. We… are… men!

  793. Zenon says:

    OH WOW!

  794. Hmmmm says:

    Fake… no greek with self respect is named dimitri… thats en eastern europeen name, like Russia and stuff…

  795. Miss AnthroPissed says:

    Aghhhh… Just the guy i need in my life~ Dmitri is completely different from all the other 20 guys that beg for my number EVERY DAY! What the *&%$ were you thinking, obscuring this priceless man’s phone number? How could you be so selfish? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?! Denied happiness, guess I’ll just have to settle for my ounce of flesh from the next loser who doesn’t get that no, means… um… no?

    I am serious as a heart attack ;) next time think of the others who are deprived of this opportunity ;)

  796. Dorian says:

    I bet this is the same asshole whips into my lane without signalling in his damned Infiniti on the Irvine stretch of the 405! ..Pehaps Dimitri is doing that same thing on the Golden Gate bridge right now! I bet this douche is a control freak as well.

    But does he get the ladies?

    Could it work????? Lets’ see if I get a response:
    Oh Elegant ladies who have so far posted here… you should go to my myspace and message me because I’m catch! I’m actually normal and if you don’t come message me, you might have been abused as a child or something.. If you don’t message by next Wednesday, You can just lose my URL! I don’t want anything to do with you, I’m of English/German/Irish/Scotch/Dutch/French descent …and I don’t play games!!!!! or boardgames! So don’t expect us to play Monopoly on the first date! We going to play Jenga at a Starbucks because I said so! I get all my dating techniques from Tom Leykus on the radio you know, and he says if don’t don’t put out..get out! So you better understand that sex with ME is fantastic! Best penis in Los Angeles County! It was Zagat rated for christs sake, how do you get much better than that?
    myspace.com/dorianjonesusa ladies! Your window is closing! I have messages all day long so competition is fierce!

  797. TooToo says:

    This is denial of so many types and levels that it’s scary…

  798. The Burninator says:

    Thats what Im talkin about Mackey! Shiiit! What are you ppl talking about?? This guy is the shit! Perfect wingman for me! We can pick up bitches together like pimps! He is just like me. Im a ladies man too. All the chicks love me. Aye Mackey, get at me man, you can join us!

    I get approached by married women at least 3 times a trip to the supermarket. You know how rich I am?? Oprah does my laundry. Michael Jordan cuts my grass. Donald Trump delivers my newspaper in the morning, and i dont even tip him! You know how frivolous I am?? I drive a Hummer to end of my driveway just to get the mail. And thats ALL I use it for! I got 6 stockbrokers, 14 doctors, 2 lawyers, 17 accountants, and 8 OTHER lawyers to watch the first 2 lawyers! I got custom made condoms made from other ppls dicks. And shit, when im too tired to get my socks blown, I hire someone else to fuck for me. I got so much credit, i threw away all my platinum cards and got a Uranium Card! I drive a Rolls Royce Pickup truck. I got a penthouse with a helicopter pad on the roof, and snipers in the building across the street to make sure no one steals my helicopter. Im the shit.

    I hope i meet this guy so we can ball like real playas. Oh and ladies, i know all that stuff turned you on, so get at me and we can make this thing hapn. Dont be fat tho. I hate fat chicks. I dont like the nagging feeling i get when a fat chick looks at me. I feel like she wants to eat me rather than screw me. So just leave your number and send your panties and I’ll be sure to make your life better. God blessed all women when he made me, and it would be a shame if you didnt get a chance to experience me. In the words of my dude Mackey, “Respect the cock!”

  799. LOL says:

    Wow, she handed you a business card and said call her. That should’ve been your clue, she didn’t write down her own number. This is a completely new lvl of douchebagggery that I’ve heard of. There is nothing wrong with me, except I’m a huge douchebag. Did I mention I was a douchebag, you might want to look that up, douchebag disorder. That was great, keep firing douchebags!!

  800. Jim says:

    Gee, no wonder Greeks like to do it from behind, they have to get what they can while the chick is running away!

  801. Jim says:

    Oh Yeah…. And GOD BLESS this chick for posting this idiots narsacistic rambelings on the internet!

  802. erik says:

    it was mystery from that gay vh1 show!

  803. Davado Smilaja says:

    Fake, Fake, Fake, Fake,

    But you all fall for it…

  804. Dmitri says:

    Yeah, I’m gonna need those TPS reports.

  805. Maeve says:

    Wow, I so hope he never called her back. Poor Olga! I’d be incensed if I got crap like this – TWICE – on my voice mail. What a prat.

  806. Anonymous says:

    shit this guy is psycho!!!

  807. SoLinkable says:

    ahhhhh… Thats so hard to listen to…

  808. Johnson says:

    hahahaha funniest thing ever seen. im the perfect catch

  809. Athina says:

    To 100% Man: F&ck Eastern men! American men are 1500000% better than any men on this planet. Go figure the douche was greek.

  810. /pd says:

    this cant be SFO !!

    Listen carefully to the 1st msg.. the area code he pulls is 416 & that is a Toronto number.

  811. Anonymous says:

    This guy is not normal

  812. Dald says:

    While she’s looking up “Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder,” she might want to have a look at “Narcissistic Personality Disorder,” which will explain why she’ll be better off because she missed the deadline.

    She did miss the deadline, didn’t she?

  813. demanigo says:

    Thank you for saving those and posting them!

  814. Kobory says:

    this dude sounds about as small minded as my girlfriend and with half the dick,]

  815. Mr-penis says:

    biggest baffoon/douche on teh interwebz.

  816. Greeks smell (__)_)\\\\\D

  817. jimbo says:

    you are the most insecure dickhead ever.

  818. 1423 says:

    Wow…someone doesn’t take rejection well. How cocky and arrogant..no wonder she didn’t called him back.

  819. kgb says:

    get a life people, it’s fake http://www.dimitrithelover.com

  820. murphy says:

    What i found totally amazing is the possibility that he had been in any type of relationship in he past! As much as he is a douchebag, anyone who dated this guy more than once has got to be significantly sicker than him. Just the thought of being an acquaintance, much less a friend of Mr. Anal leaves me ill. Dating him is above imagination. I bet Olga is much more particular in whom she gives her cards to. If this this guy isn’t a stalker he sure has the potential of becoming one soon. SCAREY!!

  821. Osama Bin Fuckin' says:

    I actually KNOW Dimitri (as James) and I don’t know what women see in him, but not only does he bang gorgeous women, but he has long term relationships with really nice ones. Supposedly he is some sort of a performance artist. Rumour has it that the voicemails are scripted and part of a viral marketing campaign for a reality TV show.

  822. mikey says:

    holy fucking shit that was so scary. Im not sayin that he killed and raped neighborhood tabby cats but meyowow that is a frightening guy. That whole part of “IM COMPLETLY NORMAL” is like “LOVE ME I PROMISE I WONT BE CREEPY”

  823. Monica says:

    This is really frightening ! He is soooooooo creepy get an order of protection YUCK

  824. Totally Male says:

    At least Dimitri was honest in his voicemails. I have to respect that. As a man I am sick and tired of women cockteasing by giving out phone numbers with absolutely no intention of ever returning a call. You go Dimitri!!! I have new found respect for Mr. Love Guru after visiting http://www.dimitrithelover.com.

  825. Anna says:

    Dimochka Shubov, You go boy!!!! Call me!
    Ladies, check out this hottie: http://www.bigshotstock.com/img/preview/3586191-s.jpg

  826. Mike says:

    Here is Dimitri’s phone number – 415-999-6115

  827. susan says:

    HE has the issues – what a jerk!

  828. Herojuana says:

    I want to find this guy and murder him.

  829. whatupcut says:

    now u see i really need me a man like this to love me

  830. jayjay says:

    funny, but this is bullshit…

  831. momof1boy says:

    To the comment from:
    Quiet Nova Says:
    June 28th, 2008 at 10:41 am

    This loser has not found a loophole into the female phsyche. That comment is more absurd than Dimitri’s messages. I would never return a call to this man because he is obviously a lonely, desperate rapist. No woman in her right mind would call him. That would be a death sentence. You need to hang around female family members & learn what a real woman is, not your twisted idea of a fantasy woman.

  832. tish says:

    Wow. Epic fail.
    I thought I dated some douches.
    Thank you, Dmitri for proving to me that the men I have dated have been nothing but sweethearts compared to you!
    Good lord.

  833. Jonny B. says:

    From San Francisco huh…

  834. bee says:

    Yeah, passive-aggressive retardation at its finest.

  835. Autumn says:

    Sounds like a catch!

  836. hnygrl says:


    That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. Does this dude even have a CLUE??

    Too funny. I kept thinking it had to be a joke. NOBODY is THIS conceited.

  837. bill says:

    I know olga, she called him back. They are married happily for 1 1/2 years. She met him at some local watering hole, sucked his cock in the bathroom and it was off to the races

  838. Skyler says:

    Psychologically normal?
    Getting asked out by girls 5-6 a day? Please.
    Us women like arrogant men, but not men who have their dicks in their asses.
    D’mitri sounds like an asshole. If anyone ever left me messages like that, I wouldn’t pick up either.
    But I’m assuming this is a joke

  839. ohmygod! says:

    seriously?! oh my god………. ouch. oh my…..deadline, really? heheheheheeeheeeheheeeee

  840. Bobo says:

    I’m guessing Will Rogers never met this loser. If this is real and I think it is…you would wear out a thesaurus finding words to describe this guy ..deluded… arrogant… condescending…conceited… psychotic… dangerous…. and the list goes on. This should be funny but he is so pathetic that I can’t laugh.

  841. Aggi says:

    Wow…all i have to say is THIS is the guy who makes Greek men seem like real *ricks! I love the way he felt the need to instruct Olga on “how it’s gonna work”. It obviously didn’t work! 1 word MALAKA.

    What a bonehead! I wish I had this guy in front of me so I could just give him a swift kick! He needs to re-assess his “catch”-ness. He’s more like a Catch and Release!

    I hope Olga and her friends were together listening to that message so they could laugh their heads off! I can’t believe he even took it to the level of making excuses for her as to why she didn’t return his call! Buddy needs to be knocked down a level. Hope this one did it!

    Nothing is more ridiculous than a man or woman for that matter that thinks that they can actually make these comments and succeed.

    I hope this guy has a lot of lube…he’ll be doing it by hand for a veeeery long time!

  842. Kyle says:

    This is more painful than the scene from Swingers, it’s like Dr.Phil, Geraldo Rivera and Richard Simmons had a manchild…. what a looser

  843. AHAHAHA says:

    ahahaha this fag is from toronto, too…fuck! i have to compete with this? impossible.

  844. Greek says:

    This Dimitri character is an insult to Greek people everywhere. In fact I’d say he’s about as Greek as a frat boy on steroids. And if anyone wants to know, this is a very extreme version of what the seduction community teaches guys. Though if you read through the comments most community people will find ways to rationalize Dimitri’s behavior.

  845. JeremyNk says:

    Hey Guys!

    I’m looking for best web hosting where I could host many domains…
    I also need big bandwidth and space.

    Could you please recommend for me some good host? :)


  846. awesome says:

    Olga called Dimitri back, they met in some seedy bar and she sucked him off…now they’re married.

  847. BYUH says:


  848. Connie says:

    guys are simply unbelievable. you cant tell me that he honestly thought that she would call him back.

  849. Brady McElligott says:

    This guy is way too much like the worst a-hole anyone has ever met in their lives.

  850. NOT REAL says:

    I dont think this is real it sounds way to much like kenny hotz a canadien comdien from the show kenny vs spenny and this seems like the type of comedy he does.

  851. wtf says:

    WHAT A FREAK . .

  852. Zombi says:

    Yes I’ve definitely heard of this Demitri The Lover fellow. Apparently he offers courses and such and I met someone who claimed to be a graduate of his sexual guru program.

    I have never met Demitri, but he sounds like such a douche, that I can’t comprehend why he gets laid so much.

  853. HAHA says:

    what a tool

  854. Ashman says:

    Holy Shit, that guy is the biggest, pickiest jerk I’ve ever heard in my life, glad I’m male and don’t have to deal with morons like him. good luck to you ladies! haha

    She must have lost his number? haha

  855. Gramage says:

    “But he says area code 416, which makes him from Toronto Canada. This makes him even douchier in my book”

    Up yours BigPapa. :-)

  856. common sense says:

    I guess no one has heard about audio programs that can make that same recording from their home, staged. It’s got to fake. stupid asses.

  857. wow says:

    i can’t believe a hundred some comments and yall think it is real because holytaco says it’s real. Watch November 5th, 2008 a unicorn will appear outside your window.

  858. Yannis_GR says:

    Fools most greek males are gay !!!

    we invented homosexuality and are fucking proud of it !!!

    HELLAS !!!!

  859. gates says:

    unless you have died in the last 3 days, dont call me..

  860. Lolcano says:

    Regards to the phonecall, if the girl wasn’t a desperate club slut looking for a tiny bit of fame on some shitty to-be porn site, she would have laughed as hard as anyone else who listened to this. As for the guy himself, you’re a retard, i hope your mothers proud of you.

  861. Todd Ellinwood says:

    What the fuck is wrong with you people??? The girl is stupid to give out her card and not call back. I think you are all stupid and should go fuck yourselves.

  862. Qpido says:

    I can’t believe the answering machine didn’t hang this guy up!!


  863. surfdude says:

    hahahah, he totally blew it when he started the deadline thing, well he totally blew before that, but after the deadline thing his chance was gone. I think he is the one whit a psychological issue, abussed in his childhood perhaps? XD

  864. Bubba Dump says:

    From his personal website he mentioned “Toronto Slut Alert” I think I found it!!


  865. you got pwn'd says:

    this is a viral and all of you got pwn’d


  866. Sebas says:

    Dimitri i wanna meet you give me a call so we can meet up so i can punch you in the overies you stupid dumb cunt

  867. T. Ben says:

    ths is fuckin helarious!!!! omg!! it just keeps getting BETTER AND BETTER!!!!!

  868. KLM2308 says:

    is it wrong to hope this guy gets hit by a car and dies?

  869. Svetlana says:

    I wanna know what happend next, did they get married?

  870. Mike says:

    Fake. :|

  871. Roy says:

    I want to use high powered magnets to pull the iron from this mans blood and beat him to death with it.

  872. Tom says:


    What a fucking douche!!

    “Maybe your mother has cancer and you have to go to chemo or something”

    Fucking hell what a dick!!

  873. Oqm says:

    This guy makes me feel SO UNBELIEVABLY good about myself. Both for choosing not to live in Toronto, and choosing not to be an utter douche. Go me!

  874. doobie says:

    sounds like a scientologist.
    wow… scientology isn’t a word according to this spell check.
    but wow is… HA ha~!

  875. phildozer says:


  876. Walker says:

    southpark got it wrong! this guy is the biggest douche of the universe!

  877. Scott says:

    Biggest. Douchebag. In HISTORY.

    You can just tell he’s one of those narcissists who is deep down desperately insecure.

  878. Jay says:

    For real, this sounds like my old boss. He would hire girls for a few days and if they wouldn’t bang him, he’d find a reason to fire them and then talk trash about them.
    No wonder I don’t work there anymore.

  879. Fred says:

    Passive Agressive is a nonsense disorder that doesn’t exist, so I laugh at people who think they can throw it around as though it were something real.

  880. Spartan448 says:

    People like Dimitri need to be taken out in the streets and shot…plain and simple.

  881. meaty penis says:

    daaaaaaaaaaaamn, his dick must be TINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
    what has the world come to ? people with tiny dicks attempting to enlarge them through use of their vocal cordsS? DICKOSMALLNESS!

  882. Johnny Cocaine says:

    This reminds of George Costansa from Sienfeld or Swingers, but this gives me the creeps.

  883. Anonymous says:


  884. DBranch says:

    LMAO. and these people live among us. fukn scary.

  885. Sage says:

    Hey I know of that guy, he won the unofficial “Biggest DoucheBag of the Century” award (As well as many other douche-related awards.)

    I’m sure his whole persona started out as a very left winged attempt to be comical and prove a point but whenever clever notion he had has turned into pure embarrassment for the male gender.

    I really hope some crazy chick hooks up with him and blows him away or steals his car or something.

  886. Haether says:

    Wow.. that guy is so narcissistic. He should look that up. Narcissistic personality disorder.

    I really hope that he’s come across this site.

  887. Do M'Bara Hexaxi says:

    If Dmitiri’s phone messages are real and not a hoax, then regardless of whatever opinion I might have about him, I am more seriously disturbed and deeply frightened by the fact that the woman who received those calls violated Dmitri’s privacy by releasing his voice messages to the public, and without identifying herself.

    So many Americans complain bitterly of their loss of privacy through “predatory” marketing schemes, government surveillance, and what-have-you. And yet, as soon as the opportunity to win fifteen minutes of fame arrives, or the chance to publically ridicule someone for personal gain or pleasure presents itself, all concern about privacy goes out of the window.

    No wonder America is in such a state of chaos about everything that matters.


  888. WhiteCrane00 says:

    Wow. Never again. He seems like a…. conceited, misogynous worm.

  889. Me says:

    so… did she call him back?

  890. yep says:

    holly crap… he has major issues!! Who taught him how to speak to women, cuz thats not the way to get a date. Hahahahhaahaha!!! So lame!! He sounds like he doesn’t really have any social skills at all!!

  891. Melissa says:

    Wow, I am so glad I am married because that guy is scary and that would make me swear off dating for a while. He’s a 48 hard evidence crime story in the making for sure!


  892. gotcha says:

    I heard about this on a radio station. Although stated to be true, sounds silly and fake to me as in, “put on”…just to get a rise out of people like you and me. But if this guy is for real…women, stay away from him..he is a control freak kook…just sounds like a nut case…

  893. JimmyDean says:


  894. IHateWhoeverMadeThis says:

    Not only does this sound fake, but it’s not funny. If you think this is funny you are a douche bag.

  895. deebee says:

    Okay, so having listened to the phone call (and I have read some of the following posts and know that he is really a crazy, pervert ex-doctor from Toronto), let me tell you that he is not the only douche out there.
    I started talking to some guy I met one night at the bar that I worked at in Vegas (I know, I know). He seemed nice enough and I even gave him my phone number(I know, I know). Then he busted out with his “rules”, this was years ago and I wish to GOD I could remember the other two, but the one I remember was “never pull away from a kiss first”. Whaaat?!! I had to screen my calls for two weeks.
    Douches abound ladies, beware!

  896. Robler says:

    hahahahaha this guy thinks hes bare good lol

  897. ransom says:

    this guy sounds like my therapist.

  898. Dimitri says:

    Hi, I am the guy of the voice. She called me, apologized by delay and now we will get married. And yes, indeed, she is on medication and she need my help ;-)

  899. Derek says:

    Hahaha! Look up Mad Tv “Can I have you number?!!! Can i Have your number!!??”

  900. Anonymous says:

    Who’s the one w/ issues here? Self centered…don’t you think?

  901. Anonymous says:

    was unemployed and his marriage had fallen apart.

    So many Americans complain bitterly of their loss of privacy through “predatory marketing schemes, government surveillance, and what-have-you. And yet, as soon as the opportunity to win fifteen minutes of fame arrives, or the chance to publically ridicule someone for personal gain or pleasure presents itself, all concern about privacy goes out of the window.

    However, he appealed the sexual assault charges against him, defended himself and was acquitted, subsequently stating his lawyers had “pressured him into pleading guilty at the initial hearing.

    Sears refused a request by the Sun to discuss the charges or allegations against him, saying they were a matter of public record.

    Back at the lair meeting, Dimitri is bragging about his conquests.

    “I drove up to Newmarket to get laid in a snowstorm because she was hot, Dimitri tells the guys.

    “Took 45 minutes to get there, half hour to warm her up, an hour to service her, half hour so she didn’t feel like she was used.

    The guys in the room all laugh.

    AJ Says:

    July 9th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
    It’s true though. No-one says “Call me, hands over a business card and then doesn’t return calls.

  902. Racerdude says:

    What a fucking MORON!!! Id love to meet this asshole (If he is real) Then kick the living shit out of him!!! Who the hell does he think he is? LOL What a dipshit!
    I know some people with big egos but holy shit! This dude is the KING!!!

  903. Spott says:

    What a psycho. Dude goes on and on that he has absolutely nothing wrong with him. Except for the whole psycho-stalker thing, I guess he doesn’t have anything wrong with him.

  904. silent majority says:

    Nature has a way of eliminating this type gene pool…in this case …opening his mouth is all it takes…

  905. Becca says:

    He’s HOT. Give me his number.

  906. Chunkybeefstu says:

    Wikipedia will enlighten you. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dimitri_the_Lover

  907. The Edge says:

    I don’t see the problem here, this nugga don’t like games batches…

  908. Anonymous says:

    fucking straight people. Idiot.

  909. Dimitri says:

    I just dont see what the problem is?

  910. Completely Normal Person says:

    I wish he would call me. What an offer!

  911. Rhett says:

    Just some idiots in the world who have no fing clue.

  912. Christina says:

    How did Olga not Smell the douche on that guy the first second she met him. Anyone know who this guy is for real?

  913. mclovin says:

    omg this fucking piece of shit asshole needs to kill himself

  914. JMAC says:

    Anyone got room in their shed for this FUCKING TOOL? Holy Crap, guy sounds like some dirt bag, skinny mofo in a suit who thinks he’s all that in his mind but is just the crap that most of us wipe from our behinds.

  915. Heather says:

    Wow, what a dumb ass! I would have called him back just to give him a reality check.
    What’s up with this site? Way to objectify women….

  916. Jason says:

    Oh My God!

    Please tell her that all men aren’t like this! Holy crap!

  917. check out thedirty.com says:

    Kids, check out thedirty.com. Nik Richie did a whole post on this, and DMITRI responded.

  918. thegnu says:

    aw, zomfg, what a dumbfuck. i wish i was as stupid and clueless as that guy. whee!

  919. zead says:

    best thing everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr DONE

  920. wow. i mean… wow. i hope they got married and this story has a happy ending. riiiiight.

  921. Pano says:

    this guy may claim to be greek, but he is no greek. what a fucking fool.

  922. bikeseatsniffer69 says:

    “Dimitri” my azz. Sounds like something former Maple Leafs tough guy Tie Domi would try to pull

  923. michael says:

    he is a fucking loser lmao
    and an ass hole

  924. This is so aweful, I can’t even be mad…this can’t be real!? He makes rednecks and honkey’s look good! I wonder if she did call him back? If it were me, I would call him, get a free meal, then tell him what a piece of shit he is…then change my number! HAHAHA! OH, and Greek…I think he meant DOUCHE!

  925. Outlaw373 says:

    This guy gives a hairball a bad name, why his mother let him live is beyond me! His father probably still wishes that the rest of him had been a stain on the sheets!!! I just hope his parents had other children that lived.

  926. Krista says:

    Holy shit, can I get that guy’s number? This sounds like a man I could get into.
    I too do not date psychos, I love being bossed around and given deadlines to call.
    Wow, does anyone know where I can find this weener… uh I mean winner?

  927. You know what sux? says:

    She probably did call him, that’s whats sad…

  928. jake chilcoat says:

    thats my dad

  929. Mushroom says:

    Wow. We have reached a new pinnacle of douchiness. Even my wife was astounded how much of a douche he was, and she only heard the last minute (she’s on psych meds so his attitude offended her more than the average person would be). No wonder he’s single and his last relationship was long-distance…
    Way to go, Olga! Why’d you give him your card again?

  930. love says:

    oh my, what a loser…I love how he says …believe it or not, i’m a complete catch…hahah, ya, NOT!!!

  931. Silver says:

    This guy is embarrassment to himself, the PUA community and the male species in general. What a douche bag. I am embarrassed he is from my hometown.

  932. Leebossa says:

    He sounds like a pretty typical guy to me…..

  933. Kristy says:

    what a narcistic yahoo…

  934. Rudolph Valentino says:

    416 is a Toronto area code, so it must be this guy:

    He also has these posters all over town:

  935. Micki says:

    wow — this is awesome — what a SERIOUS db!

  936. peyton says:

    Time to let the ROMACE BEGIN!

    or…am I not interested??

  937. Anonymous says:

    Ummm, this didnt take place in San Fran. His area code is 416, its a toronto area code =]

  938. JT LEWIS says:


  939. ashleigh wants to know says:

    …so did she ever call him back?

  940. Sarah says:

    uh, maybe your mom has cancer? Maybe you’re on medication? Nice touches guy. Holy shit, what a douche.

  941. I’ll have to link to this on my site. Excellent!

  942. jericka says:

    holy shit, what a fucking dooouche…!

  943. Sara says:

    Dear Olga,

    THANK YOU for saving these priceless messages and sharing them with the world! we owe you one:)

  944. Joe says:

    This guy is awesome. I want to take lessons.

  945. HAH !!!!

    this guy stole all my lines!! but i’m not a loser like him ,nono. i’m employee of the month at burger king . eat that!!

    i sure hope that olga met her deadline

  946. Rafael says:

    Ha ha! I heard this message before, too funny!

    The guy sounds desperate, and he seems that has lot of issues. Some of the people commenting are asking why she didn’t call. Well, maybe she was planning to call him eventually but after listening the first phone message it was enough to scare anybody.

  947. beach babe says:

    this is what normal sounds like

  948. Eli says:

    Interesting.. Wow. That guy needs to be shot in the head, of course we couldn’t do it on earth though. His douchey decomposing body would be smelled turning people into douches, like him, soon it would become an epidemic and this world would be even more douchey. I say someone sneaks into his house and replaces his anal beads with bombs that go off when pressure is applied. If someone does that, we would have one less douche in the world. But he is equal to about 940,406 douches, so this will be a much less douche-filled world.

  949. dbaglover says:

    Wow, wat a catch! can i get this guys number? i mean, im not gay, but id totally go gay for him. i hope he doesnt mind im on a mild ant-depressant tho…awww shucks im no good for him :-(

  950. oldskoolperv says:

    holy cow, this guy has t-shirts….i gotta get me one.

  951. Anonymous says:

    This is how you get it done, plain and simple. A lot of judgement is being passed, but it should make one step back and think about how to be assertive in their own lives to get the things they want. Dimitri just wants to do as much ass-to-mouth as possible in this one go-around at life. Cut him some slack.

  952. michael says:

    holy crap. is this guy for reals? its not only sad but extremely douchebag-ish. what a quack.

  953. Russ Watts says:

    This guy is classic. Kind of like the guy in Swingers. I really wonder if she ever called back. Maybe she didn’t meet the prereqs or maybe she had something serious going on…like parents in chemo or she could be on depressants :)

  954. chris says:

    wow wat an absolute gimp, talk about never getting laid, this guys desperate for some poon and he aint gettin any

  955. douche says:

    i actually liked his voice. it made me hard

  956. PRINZY says:


  957. Biotika says:

    That was like the most disturbing thing I´ve ever heard.

  958. Jenna says:

    I would date this guy just to wreck his car, max out his credit cards and leave him drunk and naked at the YMCA…….you handle a douche by being evil……pure evil.

    BTW, I actually did all that to an ex of mine for being a douche.

  959. poobutt says:

    HE’S one of the only normal ones left in the city?!

  960. Mar says:

    OK here’s the deal.

    Sounds fake to me…but whatever.
    I know 2 guys (Brothers) here in Toronto named Bart and John that sound EXACTLY like him…talks in the SAME tone, and dude is so fking conceited. Worst of it is, they have NOTHING to be conceited about….

    They’re ugly, they are COMPLETE douchebags, they ‘think’ people like them, but everyone that knows them cannot stand them haha…they’re a joke

  961. Anonymous says:

    Dang !! This guy needs Dr. Phil to set him straight. And this Dmitis, he knows
    how and what he’s doing. I say he’s a fake too.

  962. sean says:

    haha what the fuck haha
    i wanna slap that guy

  963. TJ says:

    Yah that guy only gets pussy from the most insecure women ever. What a loser

  964. rubetev says:

    OMFG!!!…..I rather think he’s gay!!!…..OMG!!!….Douchbag!!!!

  965. gazelle says:

    oh man, I wish they left his number in the message, I would totally call that guy! Just what I’m looking for

  966. WONDERWEASEL says:


  967. haha says:

    oh my god how would this woman have the courage to post this? hahaha hes gonna like come and kill her in her sleep

    “your deadline is 3 o clock wednesday”

    he gives her a deadline hahaha

  968. whiskey tango foxtrot says:

    whats wrong with this message? i leave messages like this all the time. u all need to grow up.

  969. Rob says:

    hahahahaha typical Greek

  970. nikki says:

    nothing wrong with him who is he tryen to lie to … hes a jerk an he thinks hes better than everyone an hes not lol

  971. Adam says:

    its like, dear god dude, jsut stop! stop talking! you wanna just hurt him to make him stop talking but you cant, lol but he just keeps digign deeper and deeper, :no one passes out a number and says call me, then doesnt call” ARE YOU KIDDING? words fail me, i cant go on, im just going to hang my head in shame that hes part of our species

  972. dude says:

    What an ass.

  973. Rebecca says:

    I know this guy!!!!!
    His website:

  974. ak907 says:

    yes, women OBVIOUSLY approach him every day, i can tell because he is leaving 2 minute long messages going through scenarios on why this olga he is going after, hasn’t called him back.

  975. Anonymous says:


  976. Damage says:

    Does anyone know where this guy lives? He seems like he needs a good butt kickin’!!!!

    Guys that talk like that are wussies and can’t fight!!!!

    They also tend to have very small packages!!!!

    They also are secretly gay!!!

    They also love to have sex with goats!!!

  977. The Punisher says:

    I want to slit his fucking throat.

  978. non-player says:

    Future(or possibly present) mass murderer.

  979. jyesmith says:

    Funniest fucker ever.

  980. curt schamberger says:

    I’ll kill this guy….I swear it.

  981. dj_souvlaki says:

    hahahhaa what a fucking malaka.

    and 416 area code seems like he’s from toronto canada.

    but what an idiot.

  982. dimitrifan says:

    I posted these before … send these fucking hilarious animations to your friends. Dimitri The Lover is fucking sick. Let the whole world know how warped he is … the guy fucks the Virgin Mary in one of them. Totally fucking sick I pissed myself …






  983. goerge says:

    one word…wow!

  984. turk says:

    that is fucking insane…

    i mean, i’ve told a few chicks off for stringing me along…
    but not after a simple “call me”…

    that guy must have bumped his head…
    maybe he needs to look up passive aggressive…

  985. Slice267 says:

    Just his voice makes me want to barf… He’s giving men a bad name.

  986. Mark Simms says:

    He threatens like a bill collector.

  987. Craig says:

    Yeeeikes…. Epic douche chills.

  988. dmitri says:

    This is so awesome :D

  989. Anonymous says:

    I found this guys number through a quick search.

    (416) 918 – 7014

    (416) 918 – 7014

    (416) 918 – 7014

    I haven’t tried calling it yet.

  990. coma says:

    Omfg. How is it possible that this dude is on the loose, i mean lock him up n throw away the key! IQ like an vanilla icecream. This is clearly Rapistmaterial, seriusly disturbed.

  991. Dido says:

    Probably, if he didn’t left the first message she would date him?!

  992. Anonymous says:

    All I can say is “be careful who you hand your phone number out to.”

  993. Anonymous says:

    holy hell, is he serious?

    “Maybe you were abused in childhood”

    Wow, what a douch!

  994. How i may contact admin this site? I have a question.

  995. TheLetterJay says:

    This… this guy… wow.

    I am but an amateur in the face of this assholery, and I must strive to his level of douchbaghood.

  996. jay Moodley says:

    This guy is a LOSER. he should lookup the word loser

  997. amber says:

    I heard this started as a publicity stunt for some radio show and they just kept it going.


    pretty hilarious.

  998. circuitsaver says:

    It was difficult 2 listen 2 this moronic message in its entirety. I’m sure, if she did listen to it, find it difficult too! If she called him back I am sure it was to tell him 2 f–k off. If she gave him a chance( and I don’t see why she would), she deserves him.

  999. liz says:

    oh my god. he is the most self absorbed freak in the history of the world. why would she give him her real number?

  1000. whore says:

    this olga shouldve given him the rejection hotline number! check it out rejectionhotline.com

  1001. alex says:

    ive never heard anything quite that douche-tastic in my life…that guy should wear a bag over his head next time he goes out

  1002. brandon says:

    sounds like kenny from kenny vs spenny. if you dont know what kenny vs spenny is look it up on youtube. its probabally the funniest tv show ever. kenny is a total dick. its awesome. and the show takes place in toronto so it just may be him.

  1003. terry wagar says:

    Eric Carlson and Joan Wagar, A,K,A, Doubleclick and

    Mrs Dash,( yes those are there nicknames they gave

    each other.) admited to poisoning me while I was a

    plasma donor back in 2005.
    Eric carlson pedofied me behind prison walls and

    then framed me as a pedophile on march 26th 2007, I

    caught the crime on a audio recorder I put in Joan’s

    there were people in authority helping them with

    this and nobody in authority will help they pretend

    nothing happened and refuse to investigate this.
    Eric carlson changed his hair color and his name but

    this is not hidden, only ignored by the authority’s

    and media
    Im disabled from being poisoned and the hospitals

    refuse to admit Im poisoned.
    My Family is in danger from these people and I have

    no other recorse but to make these charges public.
    My name is Terry Wagar,Im from portland oregon and

    Im backing up these charges.

  1004. Nadia says:

    This can’t be real. At some point it would have cut him off because you can’t leave really long voicemails like that. That I’m aware of anyway. I can be wrong. Plus, he said it with basically no emotion, almost like he was reading from a script. Yeah, what he was was full of doucheness but I don’t believe that this is real.

  1005. Liz says:

    ummm HE’S not psychologically normal… what a douche!

  1006. dino says:

    looooooool this guy is very desperate and big headed lol making very big assumptions loool he is funny tho because he thinks he knows what happens but he doesnt lol “psycologically normal” lloooooooll

  1007. Curtis says:

    definitely from toronto

  1008. chris says:

    wow hahahaha

  1009. Anonymous says:

    This past weekend I met a guy named “Dimitri” in Toronto, Canada. He approached me on Bloor Street last week telling me that I was the “MOST ELEGANT CREATURE he had ever laid eyes upon”. He said he was looking for an “EXCEPTIONAL LOVER” then gave me his number and told me to call when I “MUSTERED UP THE COURAGE”. I was literally swept off my feet.

    I described him to a friend: tall, dark, handsome, suave, nauseatingly confident. She told me that it had to be none other than “Dimitri The Stud” of the famous voicemail. I went to his website at http://www.dimitrithelover.com, listened to a radio interview in the “media centre”, and realized he and “Dimitri The Stud” are one and the same … the voice is so distinctive. This guy comes across as totally wacko, but I suspect he is merely putting on a front. You’ve got to check out the web site. He’s nuts.

    I’ll call him and go out on a date some time in the next couple of weeks. I will let everyone know how it goes!!! Also, I posted a photo of him here: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=33819&l=966f8&id=1542940461

  1010. Anonymous says:

    This past weekend I met a guy named “Dimitri” in Toronto, Canada. He approached me on Bloor Street last week telling me that I was the “MOST ELEGANT CREATURE he had ever laid eyes upon”. He said he was looking for an “EXCEPTIONAL LOVER” then gave me his number and told me to call when I “MUSTERED UP THE COURAGE”. I was literally swept off my feet.

    I described him to a friend: tall, dark, handsome, suave, nauseatingly confident. She told me that it had to be none other than “Dimitri The Stud” of the famous voicemail. I went to his website at http://www.dimitrithelover.com, listened to a radio interview in the “media centre”, and realized he and “Dimitri The Stud” are one and the same … the voice is so distinctive. This guy comes across as totally wacko, but I suspect he is merely putting on a front. You’ve got to check out the web site. He’s nuts.

    I’ll call him and go out on a date some time in the next couple of weeks. I will let everyone know how it goes!!!

  1011. Anonymous says:

    Same girl as the post above. I also posted a photo of the REAL DIMITRI on Facebook. You can find it here:


  1012. fork says:

    Gives men a bad name? How ’bout gives English speakers a bad name? Gives humans a bad name? Gives Earthlings a bad name!

  1013. Dustin says:

    Even if it is fake, it’s a great piece of comedy

  1014. viju says:

    only shane’s theory seems plausible!
    this can only be a performance, if so, he is brilliant douchebag!

  1015. Dimitri says:

    Clearly… this broad just knows that she is a timid woman, that doesn’t think that she is elegant enough for someone as frickin’ awesome as Dimitri. Maybe she doesn’t want someone that has nothing wrong with them… most of the women I know like to have “little projects”… they like the fixer upper – gives ‘em somethin’ to do – other than laundry and dishes.


  1016. Vance says:

    Oh, the human vanity…A control freak – an asshole – a piece of shit in human form.

    Someone must know who this guy is an publish his name so that we can call him just to leave messages.

  1017. Anonymous says:

    someone needs to get the /b/tards on this guy
    even tho this might be a viral
    i’m not doing it… don’t wanna get a backslash

    (416) 918 – 7014

  1018. Matthew says:

    Lmfao, what a fucking moron. I think he’s the one with the mental problems!

  1019. He's the idiot. says:

    HAHAHA, what a dumbass, shes not interested and he doesn’t get it. Still tryin to say hes a great catch… Shut that shit up, guy is an idiot.

  1020. Moron says:

    Oh wow, he went up to her and got the ballz to leave message. HA what a loner… I’m sure after he left her that message end up beatin it by himself at the house.

  1021. Jay says:

    this guy is a serious pick-up artist.. reminds me of me when ive had a few drinks.. i know most people would hate to admit it, but this guy does have a cool way with words..

  1022. Steve says:

    Did anyone else think Dwight from ‘The Office’ when they listened to this. Frickin’ hilarious!!!

  1023. Canada says:

    wow. I hope nobody is basing their opinions of Toronto and Torontonians on this guy…..what a dick.

    I think HE is the one with some serious Psychological disorders….and if he was so “in charge” he wouldnt have even left a second message. loser.

  1024. Jackie says:

    He is the biggest tool shed ever!

  1025. Wolf says:

    she does not call back for she has a passive
    agressive personality disorder…

  1026. gaucoin says:

    Ha, that was amazing. It’s like the return to the uber-male of the 70′s but without the uber-male upbringing. It’s like one day this guy was helping an old lady across the street and the next he’s tinting his hair and wearing shirts with the top 3 buttons undone…

  1027. abc says:

    turns out he IS insane

    check out the link posted by “lol” above

  1028. Dada says:

    What does mean “Douche” or “Douchebag” ? I come from Germany and i dont find in the dictionary…

  1029. TorontoSun says:

    Learn more about dimitri at torontosun.com/dimitri

  1030. Jon says:

    Fair play to him.

  1031. Brandon says:


  1032. Greek Guy From Toronto says:

    What’s wrong with that??
    I have to compensate for my small penis somehow..

  1033. Knailgun says:

    If women could pepper spray through the phone……he would be indefinitely hit with it

  1034. OMFG says:

    What a total loser!!! He’s the one who needs to be medicated. Gives Greek men a bad name! Some Greek men are cocky but this guy is something else!!!

  1035. Graham says:

    416 is a Toronto, Ontario area code. This guy lives in my city. I hope I run into him some day.

  1036. alette says:

    oh my god. im getting douch-chills.

  1037. Burkeshoe4 says:

    Wow. This guy is an amplified version of the typical guy who has no idea how to create attraction. Sad, Sad, Sad.

  1038. dimitri love-ed says:

    HAHAHHAHAH this douche picked me up before i was coincidentally sent this link!!!


  1039. John says:

    What a mammluke retard…..he’s working on a movie script huh? Yuppp sure DUMB-EE-TREE. I know who he’s gone out with…..Mother thumb and the palm sisters….they’re about as close as this yo yo will get to sex.

    DUMB-EE-TREE…..you really need to pull your bottom lip up over your head and swallow.

    Good luck with your movie script. I’m sure Al Pacino, Robert DeNiro, Morgan Freeman, Jack Nicholson and Harrison Ford are all pressuring their agent to star in your movie. Yupppp….they sure are.

    Oh and by the way…..you’re probably a Toronto Maple Laffs fan aren’t you?

  1040. Tif says:

    Isn’t it a tad hypocritical of him to be demanding a psychologically normal partner.

  1041. the real Dimetri says:

    OK….here’s the thing I like women to feel loved. I like elegant women…women that need a REAL man. I play no jokes. This is real. OK? Call me if I’m available. I think you know my number. If you don’t call…well…that’s your loss. I’m Greek and I have many many women wanting me OK? Remember, if you have psychological problems PLEASE don’t call. I only want clean, sane women. If you want to invite your girlfriend this will be OK I don’t mind. Like I said, I am Greek and HOT. so you decide…the ball is in your court.

  1042. Alex says:

    Check out this big poppa remix of demetri’s message on http://www.discosalt.com !!!! Awesome

  1043. King dino says:

    What the fuck?

  1044. H. says:

    I can’t stop laughing, he’s no douchbag, he’s a douchmactruck LOLOLOLOLOLOL

  1045. Sancho says:

    It was difficult to listen to without putting my hand over my face in shock. What a big, wet, flopping douchebag.

    Wow. I think that dude was my Dungeon Master in 4th grade….

  1046. Jet says:

    psyche ward

  1047. hahahha says:

    … if you’re psycologically normal then call me if you’re on depression meds I’m not interested. A classy thing to say for a classy woman! hahhaha ON HER ANSWERING MACHINE!

  1048. Nicki says:

    Good thing she didn’t call him, because he sounds like the annoying, smothering, controlling type. After about 2 dates with him (assuming he didn’t leave a message and puff himself up), if I went out with him, I’d be ready to hack his tongue out. Sounds high on himself. Good job Olga, way to read that douche!

  1049. connie says:

    Bet he’s dangerously filled with rage against women because starting with his mother,
    they’ve all ignored him……………..

  1050. Sharon says:

    it’s one big publicity stunt… http://www.dimitrithelover.com

  1051. Anonymous says:

    The sheer douchery of it all makes me wanna kill myself

  1052. haha says:

    this is the funniest thing i have ever heard

  1053. Day says:

    yo http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=71437725 this IS NOT THE GUY our guy his phone number is 416 area number that’s Toronto. check for Toronto area. I can’t believe this guy has not been put to death yet.

  1054. Aude says:

    I would just call him back and tell him what a douche bag he is and he should really “look up douche bag disorder”!! That’s a serious case. I hope he finds this post!!!

  1055. Ollie says:


  1056. Anonymous says:

    Shut the fuck up

  1057. Zoo says:

    Sad thing about it is there is a woman somewhere on this planet that is 100% compatable with this clown …

  1058. Melissa says:

    OMG I think that was my e-husband.

  1059. Michael says:

    This guy must have blisters from masturbating. He is his own actual birth control method!

  1060. Toltec Eagle Australia says:

    What a wanker of the first order.It is obvious that he has two penies as he could not be that stupid playing with one

  1061. anthony says:

    its her loss. hes good in bed and a great catch!

  1062. Anonymous says:

    Can you say stalker stalker stalker

  1063. Tiggy says:

    Amazing!! Simply amazing! I would fuck him!

  1064. Cleopatra says:

    OMG I cannot believe this douche!!! lol he’s prolly saying to himself “she didnt call me cuz she has mental problems and I told her not too..” WTF!!!! what kind of guy is this?? could not stop laughing!!

  1065. Paul says:

    Please do not attack Greeks just because of this douchebag who claims he is Greek. Do we all abuse every single French or the English or Egyptians just because of their douchebags?
    Seriously those who are making mass generalizations against a race of people are utter douchebags themselves and no better than this guy.

  1066. Olla says:

    This guy is not to be believed he is probably a very unattractve person on the inside and out and HE REALLY NEEDS JESUS!

  1067. PUA says:

    This guys is a PUA. He made some severe mistakes tho, but as a whole he’s doing what it needs to be done to fuck. I bet he fucks more than all of you smart asses who call him douche and idiot and moron and so on. (all of you combined)

  1068. NLS107 says:

    Anybody that thinks this guy is doing the right thing or doesn’t see anything wrong with this message is just as gay as he is!!

    Someone said they think it’s fake but it’s not! This is real! And the guy is a real asshole!!! He is a nothing with no money and is awful in bed!!!!! That’s why he is single!!!

  1069. john says:

    this guy sounds like a real catch

  1070. Anonymous says:

    Yes his messages are douchie, BUT I bet he uses this techinique a lot and he gets laid.
    Women are complex creatures. Very attractive ones are not interested in men that approach them and tell them they are beautiful. Make fun of them and point out their flaws and they want to talk to you. They may call you and a$$h0le but they won’t leave.
    This guy sounds like a dick on the message but I’m sure knows how to get laid.

  1071. Michael says:

    The only woman who would let this guy lay a hand her would be one suffering from a severe mental disorder……ironically!

  1072. Scrubs says:

    usually guys who brag that they are a good catch and are good in bed are only trying to convince themselves. If you have to tell someone girls check u out and talk to u 6 times a day and tell the girl ur a good catch than ur insecure. I definately would have never called him back, if he had to call back a second time than obvisouly hes insecure and his ego was bruised, I dont blame her after his lil psycholoical speech I wouldnt date him either. What if they got married and she ended up with Dimentia or depression or even Cancer, he’d probably say “see yah later sweetheart”, no wonder why this guy is single, and no wonder why he had a long distance relationship, the girl probably didnt want to go near him, DOUCHHH BAGGGGG!!!

  1073. tinas49ers@yahoo.com says:

    I wish he would have called me instead, I would love to hear from a nice guy like that.

  1074. Astenous says:

    This is hilarious!
    If she was planning to call, she didn’t call after the first message…who would?
    The guy’s such a dweeb. I am sure his “long distance” relationship worked as long as it did because it was LONG DISTANCE.

  1075. Julia says:

    Guess what guys. Girls give their phone number sometimes TO GET RID OF YOU!!! I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. Sometimes we are so put on the spot and intimidated we give our phone number so you will leave.

    Thank God I’m married and don’t have to deal with guys like this anymore.

  1076. BOO says:

    Scary thing he is a Dentist in San francisco

  1077. Barb says:

    omg, I agree this twit is from Toronto with the 416 area code, typical upper Canadian attitude. Boy if you are reading this you are a complete arrogant a**hole. Arrogant and A**hole can be found in the dictionary before passive aggressive in case you need direction. You are single for one reason only, “LOSER”. Boy I wouldn’t care what your net worth is, I would rather eat out of a dumpster than ever be caught with the likes of you. Did your momma beat you as a boy and make you decide to act like you are a superior being to women. Man what I wouldn’t give to be the lucky recipient of that phone call, ohhhhhh, would I have fun.

  1078. Anonymous says:

    passive aggressive? its called se doesnt like you son, cocky jerk

  1079. Max The Dog says:

    This is why we have call screening. What a douche.

  1080. Anonymous says:

    i would murder this guy in the street if i ever met him.
    “believe it or not, i’m a complete catch.”
    what a fucking sleaze.

  1081. Matt says:

    The worst part about people like that is they don’t realize everybody hates them.

  1082. MadMax says:

    this is a classic! toronto already has a bad rep and you dimitri just dug a hole even bigger for that gay ass town. 6-7 woman per day HAHAHA..you fool, how do you want someone to believe that and how is that gonna work in your favor in trying to be the player that you are. you are too suave dimitri cause you are so intelligent ! ur a donkey! you give the rest of the men population a bad name for the way you acted. wow buddy I feel bad for you…you probably still live at home with your mom and wish you could just move out but you cant cause you’ll never meet a person of the opposite sex…just give it up and come out of the closet already !

  1083. Dale Cooper says:

    She’s clearly a dyke.

  1084. Micaela says:

    The sad thing is that he is the not the only douchey man in the city, he was just posted on the internet.

  1085. Douche McGee says:

    Olga you’re clearly a B*TCH for not calling my brother back.

  1086. sarah says:

    maybe you were abused in childhood or are going through chemo ?! ?

  1087. GADZOOKS says:

    After reading a few articles on the real guy and his points of view, I KNOW he’s totally nuts. Sure, a small percentage of the Earths female population will fall for his lines, but not all women are so predictable as he’d like to think. First off, his voice and the way he chooses his words are SO annoying. If he approached me, I’d immediately think he was gay. Then I’d think “and a serial killer too”. No matter how much vag he’s bagged in his sad career as a PUA, it doesn’t make him less of a weirdo. I mean, some girls do dig the nerdy, weird types. They may see him as “nice” and give it a chance, but overall, he might as well be wearing a red flag while waving one in each hand.

    Hope girls stay aware of a**holes like this one and the guys he teaches his tactics to. He needs to find something else to do, but please don’t let him near children!

    P&S ROCK!

  1088. Your Mom says:

    Absolute psycho! Figures, he’s Greek. This dude makes me want to assume the fetal position in my closet.

  1089. Lori says:

    I heard this same shit on the radio this morning. He’s such a d88k.

  1090. Anonymous says:

    415 is SFS
    316 is tdot

  1091. Anonymous says:

    So I heard about this on the Kidd Crattic radio show…actually only caught the end of it. I can’t believe I got the email forward the same day I heard about it on the radio…AWESOME. What can I say? I certainly wouldn’t have called him back either, and “I’m a nice catch” too…dumbass. Oh, and as for giving out numbers but not really wanting to call the person or get a call…goes for both sexes…GET OVER IT!

  1092. kate says:

    what a fucking idiot

  1093. EricaVee says:

    Is this for real? O.O

  1094. Megan says:

    I had a photographer that talked just like that guy!!! He would leave messages on my house phone like that…ugh…I hate that…

  1095. M.Forest says:

    Whoa yeah..!! Awesome display of douchebaggery. I hope he marries a tranny.

  1096. jayson says:

    this mofo is crazy.

  1097. roxanne says:

    I think I’ve met this guy…. a hundred times over.

  1098. Anonymous says:


  1099. E says:

    Effffffff… I’m greek.. this guy just pwnt my people!

  1100. So apparantly guys actually do this to girls to get them to call them back. FIRST OFF, not all greek men are like this, i know some verrrry nice greek men. Also what this guy did was unruly and its no wonder she didnt call him back hahaha. Guys should never repeat this EVER, TAKE IT AS AN EXAMPLE, LAME LAME LAME LAME!

  1101. cam says:

    i am officially the happiest person ever right now.

  1102. Anonymous says:

    just shut the fuck up and spank your monkey

  1103. Anonymous says:

    you talk the talk but do you walk the walk?

  1104. roy says:


  1105. MaDmaX says:

    Olga dear, time to change the phone number and print those new business cards you’ve been wanting. . .just in case. This one is beyond douche. I hope you learned a valuable lesson. I’m headed for the Pepto.

  1106. Evra says:

    is he psychologially normal? I doubt it…noone who says he’s a complete catch ever is…what a narcissistic asshole.

  1107. John (Ireland) says:


    What a Cock!!!

  1108. DRI says:

    Hey ladies, you recall the excruciating final 5 minutes of Looking for Mr Goodbar? This is what Olga had in store if she agreed to meet this guy for coffee. Dmitris should be the spokesdouche for Date Rapists International.

  1109. hendetra says:

    “your friends where very jealous”
    lol that was epic

  1110. Greekbuttfukker says:

    Ok, seriously, Greeks are famous for banging each other in the ass and Im willing to bet that after some good “Greeking” in his a-hole he will be JUST FINE.

  1111. the real big papa says:

    t-dot will own any of the states in america containing 95 percent fatties which is anywhere throught america

  1112. OrionZodiac says:

    There is no way this is real.

  1113. Angiee says:

    I’m gonna call this dimitri guyyy.
    I’ll be like
    “ohai, it’s olga.”

  1114. Kevin says:

    Can someone please figure out what his number is and post it, this guy absolutely deserves an unending amount of calls that mimic his douchness.

  1115. RACHEL says:


  1116. Joey boeing says:

    OMG i live close to toronto I swear i would find his mother and tell her about this. I feel bad for some of you women who have met or got a attempted pick up from somebody like this. Im a really nice guy and if you need a boyfriend u should call me up cause i like people who are less than perfect. It makes me appreciate them that much more. nyway people like him should go back where he came from (under a scum ridden rock by the beaches of hamilton). lol that would show him.

  1117. lawlz says:

    you have GOT to be fucking kidding me. Im sure that woman just gave him her card to be nice, im sure she couldnt have meant CALL ME!! and if she DID want him to call her, the very first message he left her, made her realize what she had gotten herself into with this fucking flake, and her mind was most definately changed!! as for the second message…. give me a break!! “heres how its gunna work”….. or NOT work, you stupid fucking lunatic!! my god. this was a great laugh tonight, most definately on his account! good job asshole!

  1118. Steve says:

    Well, what happened next?! Did she call him? Did they meet again? She should give him a call, he is clearly THE MAN, the man of every woman’s dream! If I was a woman I’d go with this guy, he seems so awesome!

  1119. NickC says:

    just a guy who doesn’t REALLY know how to talk to women.

  1120. TheLesbian says:

    I feel sorry for all the straight women out there that wind up being subjected to that! You are right.. he is a douche!

  1121. You guys are retarded says:

    This is obviously a fake inspired by the movie Swingers. Olga? A complete catch in a long distance relationship? Psychological problems?

    Come on idiots. Answering machine messages don’t last that long.

  1122. Neil says:

    I just read the non-fiction book ‘The Game’. One of the characters is Mystery who says he is the best pick up artist in the world. I watched an online video and this is him. This guy actually gives seminars that cost $3000 on the art of the pick-up. Insane!!! Mystery is from Toronto also so it fits.

  1123. Jason says:

    Sweet fuckin jesus! That’s hilarious. What’s fucked up is that I have met retards just like this one at the bar. I feel really bad for the girls who are too nice to give these guys fake numbers or to tell them to fuck off.

  1124. Sue says:

    AWWWWW where can I find one just like this???? He sounds like such a stud!!!!!! I want a douchbag that understands I have “other issues” like being abused or wait that I’m passive aggressive :) hahaha

  1125. lydia says:

    this was on Preston and Steve today (Philadelphia wmmr) and some OTHER douche called in and said that it was the woman’s fault for this guy. dumbass.

  1126. Re: The Lesbian, Lydia says:

    I KNOW! that was the first thing i thought when I heard this. and they say WE’VE got it wrong, poor sods.

  1127. Olga says:

    My friends and I saw him later, he tried to come over. We laughed so loud, he turned and ran out of the club. The bouncer said he shit himself.

  1128. Gollum says:

    how boring ca one get….. this guy is setting new boundaries.

  1129. gimy says:

    wow…i gotta say fake. i just don’t think(god i hope not) somebody is this psycho. this is worse than the Swingers message scene. dude is a serial killer…IF this is real…d3mn

  1130. DMC says:

    Your Fuckin kiddin me…..

  1131. Dmitri says:

    And now Olga is my wife.

  1132. victor says:

    What a pathetic dick head!!!!!!

  1133. Jess says:

    I’ve never had something that was so funny make me so mad.

  1134. DATANYC00 says:

    LMAO…. This guy is so lame. I think this is sad. Seriously… This can’t be real? If this is, oh my god… This is priceless!

  1135. bryan says:

    This guy is a total FAG, this can’t be real.


  1136. Anonymous says:


  1137. Lora C says:

    He said it himself… for heavens sake… DON’T call him! Hahahahaha! Talk about psychological issues. Clearly, he knows em all!

  1138. lewdies7 says:

    Awwww. Poor guy. Just think of how many elegant woman have played with poor Dimitri’s heart causing him to act the toatal douche. He probably needs a douche rigt now, how sad.

  1139. kevin hauter says:

    haha wow guy really gets down to the point. he sounds like a telemarketer he doesnt speak or think like a regular person. hes got a spchological issue of overthinking things and not knowing when to stop haha fucken idiot. he really wants to wife up olga doesnt he.

  1140. jaljal says:

    Wow… I was worried for a second, because I thought maybe this would sound like something I would say, and that would mean I too am a douchebag. Well I no longer have anything to fear. Because I know no matter how much of a douchebag I could ever be, it will never compare with Dmitri’s master skills. I’m actually glad there are guys like this out there, it makes me seem like a freakin’ Don Juan.

  1141. what up! says:

    Someone needs to knock this fool out!

  1142. Im thinking…
    who is the douche bag who posted this?
    Ah… Olga must be one fat cow of a douche bag her dam self…

    BTW…This is what we call a RUSE.
    This is a FAKE message Posting by one BIG DOUCHE BAG OF A GAL.

  1143. lmao says:

    god..i would love to find the guy in a bar once, put the message on the dj`s list and then just stare and point with my finger at the guy while laughing my ass off!!!
    dumbass madafaka!!!

  1144. Anonymous says:

    that’s not a douchebag, that’s just a socially inept guy.

  1145. Anonymous says:


  1146. Nathalie says:

    So this guy has rejection issues.

  1147. Zak says:

    Wholy fucking shit that guy is my hero. He must be made of 100% pure ball meat. Any guy that can even come up with that kind of message (let alone leave it) is a truly one of a kind. All hail the king of douche!

  1148. Generic Name says:

    This piece of crap guy has a Website. it’s “dimitrithelover dot com” Seriously.
    I’m not sure if he’s real but he has a radio interview on his site that sounds just as real as this recording.

  1149. Oprah Calling? says:

    Is this the a-hole from the Oprah show? Sounds kinda like his voice…certainly sounds like his personality.

    All I can say is HOLY CRAP. If this ever works Feminism must be dead.

  1150. He Man says:

    Im sure she’ll call this douche as soon as she leaves the KIMO Center..LOL

  1151. Olga S says:

    I don’t know where to start–but perhaps she is out of town or didn’t check her messages?

    Wow, he starts lining up the excuses and acts like this is some sort of business deal.

    Sometimes you just have to be patient dude, or line up 3 women, and hope 1 of them calls you back. Kinda like job resumes….

  1152. Anonymous says:

    HAHAHAHAHA what a fucking TOOL!

  1153. Josoami says:

    The funny thing is, this guy is too much of an idiot to even realize what an absolute idiot he is! Amazing…and yet he can’t even figure out why she didn’t call him back! What a total JACKASS!!