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The Evolution Of Desperation Porn (Possibly NSFW)

Remember being young and having an uncontrollable urge to see a woman naked but no access to real pornography? You’d search through catalogs and magazines, or even the home medical books, just so your imagination didn’t have to work so hard. Well, that’s something that every generation of disgusting teenage boys has experienced, and will continue to experience. But thanks to the web, all that is changing. And FYI, this is not a how-to article, so skip it if you were hoping for lessons on how to find boobs on YouTube, weirdo.

The internet has had a pretty awesome/horrible impact on the “desperation porn” phenomenon. Digging for things that will slip under the safe search radar is today’s equivalent of watching the scrambled Playboy channel. Although watching scrambled porn was frustrating and didn’t usually pay off like you’d hoped it would. You were hoping for porn, expecting porn, and all you got, if you were lucky were a few good noises.

YouTube has proven that the same thing still exists today. For example, there’s a video who’s title is “Promo-Samsara”. It’s got over 60 million views. Why? Because when you see the word “Promo” and the thumbnail of two people kissing, you’re overactive teenage brain sees the word “Porno”. The actual video is just a trailer for some foreign flick, with no boobs or lesbian love scenes. Bummer.

There’s also the modern version of the home medical book desperation porn, which is videos of self-breast exams and tips on how to breast feed. A video called “Breastfeeding Tips” from parents magazine has over 5 million views. I would bet my car that at least half of those hits are from slobbery, cheetoh-fingered teen boys.

And then there’s always the self breast exam video. In case lactation isn’t your thing. You can watch this old lady get fondled by a nurse. I’m sure jerking off to this twelve times a week won’t cause you to develop any sort of weird fetishes or anything…

And last but not least, there’s the National Geographic sub-genre of desperation porn. That’s for those young fellas who are into tribeswomen with stretched necks and lip-plates. It’s a tough one, but it’ll get the job done if you’ve never seen the real thing. We found this video, as well as several others with one quick search.

Good luck, future generations of desperate porn-seekers!

4 Responses to "The Evolution Of Desperation Porn (Possibly NSFW)"

  1. punintended22 says:

    i just fapped 5 times, thanks holytaco

  2. Wilford Brimley's Monkey says:

    5-10 minutes per breast? per month? i examine your mom more than that! *rimshot*