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The Hills May Be No More. God Is Listening To Us.

A few months ago I got incredibly high with a friend, and we got in to this ridiculous argument about whether or not I’d be proud if Lauren Conrad from The Hills was my daughter.  The argument quickly somehow morphed into  whether or not a woman would bang you if you threw out the first pitch in game one of the world series.  Anyway, my answer to the first question was no.  The reason I said no, is because if I was talking to other parents about her, what would I say?  “Oh, my daughter’s so talented, she’s really good at… well, she’s got a show on tv where she does…. wow, my daughter is a f*&king talentless moron.”  And if you don’t think she’s a moron, then I ask you, why would someone with absolutely no talent, leave the one thing that generates her income.  Usmagazine.com reports:

Lauren Conrad is ready to leave The Hills.

“It’s coming to a point where I love this show so much, but I’m ready to kind of walk away,” Conrad tells Extra. “I’ve been doing it for five years now. Five years on TV is a really, really long time.”

I was hoping the quote would go on to say “I really want to move on to a career where I do nothing in movies.”

I really enjoy it when reality stars get big enough to the point where they think they’re just “stars” and it no longer has anything to do with the “reality” part of it.  It reminds me of when my home-schooled neighbor told me how his dad said he was way better at baseball than everyone on our high school team.  I told him he should try out then, and he came out and took three ground balls at short stop and all three went through his legs, prompting our shortstop to tell him “get out of my position, I don’t want you homo-ing it up.” The outside world is a cruel place.

Anyway, if she leaves the show, she’ll be the star of a different show, but I’m not sure it will be televised.

3 Responses to "The Hills May Be No More. God Is Listening To Us."

  1. Buddy Ice says:

    When people are famous because of reality shows they should always have an asterisk next to their name; whether it’s in the credits of a movie, or an underwear line. Something like this:

    Actors whose last names begin with the letter ‘C’:
    1. Jim Carrey
    2. Jackie Chan
    3. Cortney Cox
    4. Bill Cosby
    5. Laura Conrad*
    6. Macaulay Culkin

    So in twenty years when our grandkids ask, “Why is there a star next to her name?”, you can reply, “It’s not a star retard, it’s an asterisk. It means she was a reality TV actor, it’s like cheating to become famous.”, to which the kid would say, “Oh, like the sta… I mean asterisk … next to Barry Bond’s name?”

  2. Anonymous says:

    fyi- people love the hills. and lauren didnt cheat to become famous.

  3. wow... says:

    …Buddy Ice..are we bored or something?