Not so long ago, somewhere in the dungeons of Taco Bell headquarters, an idea was born. That idea was breakfast. No, it wasn’t a unique idea, but it was still an idea. Breakfast, at Taco Bell. But how?
Traditionally there’s nothing breakfast about Taco Bell. Breakfast burritos exist out in the world but they’re silly things you can buy at a 7-11. What could Taco Bell do that would be exclusively Taco Bell? What Mexican breakfast feast could they proffer that no one else had a claim on? The Waffle Taco.
If you’ve never been to Mexico you may not have enjoyed this treat that’s steeped in Mexican tradition. You see, when Columbus sailed to the New World, he of course was not alone. He had a vast crew of European sailors with him and, on his third trip, one of those sailors was a Belgian known to the rest of the crew simply as L’épée de la Pâte – the Dough Sword. He was a quick tempered man with a scar over one eye and a permanent scowl on his lips. But oh how he loved to cook.
Many a night he could be found on deck making crepes, pancakes, johnny cakes (which of course back then were known as Jacques Cakes) and waffles. Waffles more than anything.
The Dough Sword loved his waffles and the crew eventually grew sick of them. Oh sure they were delicious, but you can only eat so many before they become tired and old. The crew became resentful and when they were next ashore in the new World, they left de la Pate behind. Bastards.
Alone and betrayed, de la Pate was taken in by a family of farmers in rural Mexico. Touched by their kindess towards a stranger who didn’t even speak their language, de la Pate taught them the ways of the waffle as they taught him the ways of the taco. And as he learned the language and the cuisine, it occurred to him that there could be no greater gift to all of mankind than to bring those two foods together. But how ?
De la Pate struggled with the waffle taco for many years. He tried many fillings, many permutations but none were just right. Until one day when he was in a rush and his eggs and sausage were spilled upon his waffle and he grabbed the whole bundle in his haste to leave. Yes, he thought, as he bit into the scrumptious, sumptuous creation. Yes. This shall be my legacy. This Waffle Taco will be my gift to the world.
Later that day De La Pate was killed by bandits who raped his corpse. But that Waffle Taco lived on. And now, Taco Bell is reintroducing it to the world. A waffle. An egg. A sausage. Folded in half, in the way only a Mexican could.
Viva La Waffle Taco !