Mmm, Arby-Q. That looks good. What is that, some kind of sauce? Is it like barbecue sauce? Arby-Q, barbecue…oh, I get it. It’s like a barbecue sandwich. Only, because I’m at Arby’s, it’s called an Arby-Q. That’s clever. I could put that in a song.
Oh, look at that, their French Fries are curly. That’s a treat. Not enough people have fun with food. I can’t believe I’ve never been here before, this place is delightful. Oh, look, there’s a dollar menu, that’s a good value. People really come down hard on fast food sometimes, but if you’re in a hurry and tight on cash, it’s really a good deal sometimes. Maybe I’ll get a milkshake off of that menu, I haven’t had any diary today.
This fellow in front of me has some interesting slacks on. What is that, suede? No, they don’t make suede slacks do they? Seems like it would chafe. Some kind of canvas? It’s not khaki right, that means green I think. Yes, I think to be properly khaki it must be a shade of green. Khaki is a shade of green. Although I think I had tan khaki’s once. I wonder how that came to be. That’s weird. I’ll write a letter about that later. Maybe Ask.com knows.
There’s a chocolate turnover on the dollar menu for dessert, oh, I like that. Is it chocolate inside? I had an apple turnover years ago, it was scrumptious. Oh my, I think I had that at Slash’s house. Hmm. Oh Saul, how young we both were.
What time is it? Oh my, after 12 already. The days do go by. I hope I can finish a few more chapters in my book this afternoon, then get to the yard. Mr. Withers really needs to control his cat, this is the third time I’ve found feces in my azaleas. I just can’t make myself believe his cat has such a balanced diet low in phosphates that I can be at ease with it fertilizing my garden.
This fellow sure has a hearty appetite, quite the order he’s putting through here. Goodness, he’s ordered two Pepsi’s. I used to be able to drink a lot of soda in the 90’s. I wish I still had that constitution but it will absolutely keep me up all night if I drink that. Maybe I can have a Sprite, that seems lighter. No caffeine or artificial colors, I appreciate that.
Oh, I’m getting a text. This delightful Smartphone has been a lifesaver for keeping up on business and correspondence, I must say. What a marvelous age we live in.
Why, this is preposterous. The record company wants to book Guns n Roses and Velvet Revolver at the same benefit concert? They want me to work with Slash again? And Velvet Revolver is headlining?
Suck my f*cking ass you jackholes! You think you can f*ck with me? I will cave your skull in with a mic stand and stuff it full of goddamn Arby-Q’s and khaki pant wearing dipshits, I am not anyone’s bitch! I will light this f*cking building on fire. I will f*cking quit music altogether you shit bandit ball juggling idiots! I HEADLINE! I DO NOT MAKE MONEY FOR SLASH! F**********************************CK!