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The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking With Balls

With the holidays fast approaching, we’ll all be ball-deep in turkey legs and pumpkin pies and mounds of stuffing before we know it. And now Serbian author Ljubomir Erovic wants us to be ball-depp in balls, too. His new cookbook, titled “The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking with Balls” might sound like a joke, but…it’s not. According to Ananova:

The Testicle Cookbook – Cooking With Balls includes author Ljubomir Erovic’s favourite dishes, like testicle pizza and battered testicles.

The ingredients for his testicle pizza recipe include cheese, onion, pepper, bacon and bull’s testicles.

“It’s Italian pizza with Serbian balls”, explains Erovic. The book also contains more cordon bleu recipes, such as calf testicles in wine and testicles with bourgignon sauce.

“The tastiest testicles in my opinion probably come from bulls, stallions or ostriches, although other people have their own favourites,” he said.

“All testicles can be eaten – except human, of course.”

Erovic, 45, is self-taught in the art of testicle cuisine but his 20 years of “cooking with balls” make him a world authority in the field.

He also organises the World Testicle Cooking Championship, held annually in Serbia since 2004.

I know testicles are a Serbian delicacy, but is it a great idea to put the author’s photo on the cover of this book? Putting his face on the cover means that he is trying to become a celebrity, or the face of a genre. But, does he really need to brand himself as “The Testicle Cooking Guy” even more? Is there some other up-and-coming Serbian ball chef who’s trying to take his place in the Serbian testicle grilling world? This is how I imagine the conversation with his book cover designer went:

Ljubomir: So, I’d like to have a photo of myself on the cover.

Designer: OK, would you like it to the right or left of the photo of the large bowl of balls?

Ljubomir: Hmmm….that is a tough question.

Designer: Don’t forget, your photo will also be below the photo of the knife cutting up a huge testicle.

Ljubomir: Is the testicle big enough? I want to make sure it’s a really big testicle.

Designer: (chuckles to himself) Oh yeah. Don’t you worry, Ljubomir. It’s a huuuuuge testicle.

Ljubomir: Good. OK, so put me to the left underneath the enormous testicle. That way, when people look at the book, they’re eyes will see a big testicle, my face, and then more testicles. Perfect! When people think of Ljubomir Erovic, they will think of testicles.

Designer: Congratulations?

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2 Responses to "The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking With Balls"

  1. ela says:

    there’s no explanation for the ball cooking/mishandling/cutting. he is a serb. that is all.

  2. Pratik says:

    I think I just crossed my legs for the first time in about three years.