Ring the bell, bitches, I hit the jackpot. I was wandering through the woods east of Ben’s house and I found this little town. It reeks like fart there thanks to all the walkers but smack in the middle of town, guess what I found? A library!
Man, back in the day I never wanted to go to a library. Aside from the school library I don’t think I’ve ever been to one, actually. Seriously, use the internet people. God, I miss the internet. LOLcats. Priceless. Maybe I should start making LOLzombies. I’d pretty much corner the market.
OK, but I don’t to get too distracted here. I found a library. Unfortunately I couldn’t get into it yet, there’s a whole troop of zombie Girl Scouts out front with rotten boxes of cookies, just standing there. I’m going to have to come up with a plan to distract them. I’d just as soon shoot them al but man, if my mom and dad catch me in a strange town shooting zombies they’ll shit kittens. Plus the last time we shot someone it attracted a whole herd of the bastards, so I want to keep things on the d-low for now.
I have time to work out a game plan now, so that’s good. Once I get into the library it’s a simple matter of finding that Morse code book and then doing a little research on this whole zombie thing.
While I was casing the library, I also found an old general store and it was packed with chips and pop and stuff. I’m totally stoked again. Do you know what everyone’s been eating for dinner around here lately? Last night we had acorns and canned tuna. Bums don’t even eat that. Can humans digest acorns? I’ll have to look that up as well, but I’m pretty sure that shit is straight up squirrel food. There’s no good reason for this madness. There are towns everywhere around here, why aren’t we moving? Even a little? We’re literally just holding still where we stopped, as though we’re waiting for something new to happen. You know what’s going to happen? We’re all going to get acorn dysentery and get eaten by zombies.
It’s not like this happened in the Wild West. And even if it did, I played Red Dead Redemption, there were still a ton of towns you could get to for supplies. We live in modern America. And we’re only a few miles from Atlanta, one of the biggest cities in the state. Do you know what else is nearby? College Park, Forest Park, Decatur, Druid Hills, Smyrna, probably like a million other towns, too. That town I found the library in sucked so bad it didn’t even have a sign telling me what it was called. There’s so much out there and we’re eating food unfit for zoo animals.
I may have to start stockpiling my own supplies. I think I could probably start working some deals with T Zone and Daryl, but I’m not 100% sure they even have anything I want. But hey, that could change. If I’m the only guy with Pringles and Lolzombies then they’ll have to find stuff I want, right? Yeah.