The Walking Carl: Chapter 7

Dear Diary,

Took a walk into the deep woods last night and you’re not going to believe this, I met someone! Not like zombie Stephen Hawking either, I found a real dude in a house.  His name is Ben, he’s in the attic of this old farm house that’s half boarded up.  I guess it was overrun by zombies a while ago, but seems pretty empty now.

I thought Ben was a zombie at first, he was a bit bloody, but I guess some asshole shot him in the head thinking he was a zombie and left him here.  Bullet grazed him and he seems a little flighty, but he’s decent people.  I told him he should come back to camp with me, or maybe we could come stay at his house, but he freaked out.  He’s a bit against people right now.  I don’t blame him.  Plus he keeps on ranting about the marginalization of black characters and how it didn’t even mean anything in 1969.  I’m not sure what he’s talking about.

Ben and I have started playing a game of Monopoly and I hate it.  I hated Monopoly before, but now I really hate it.  I think Ben hates it too but he won’t admit it and for some reason neither can I.  We played for hours and it was awful and we just left it and I said we could start again when I came back.  It’s Spongebob Monopoly, too.  Just terrible.  In a world full of dead people trying to eat me, somehow I’m most annoyed by this damn game.  I wish I could get Hawking to sit in for me.  He just waited for me by a barn then whole time I was in the house.

Ben told me some of what he knows and what he’s seen since this all started, it was pretty crazy. The house used to have a lot of other people in it but they’re all dead now because they were mostly terrible people or super sympathetic people or forgettable people.  He told me those are the only people who die anymore and I think he has a point.  If you’re not an asshole or an angel it’s like the zombies couldn’t care less, unless no one knows your name.  For a while I thought I was really sympathetic, only kid left in the zombie apocalypse, and that meant I was destined to die.  But then I remembered that everyone knows my name thanks to everyone yelling it all the time, and I’m also pretty screwed up to balance out all that sympathy.  I think I might be set, as long as no one forgets my name.

I was planning on telling my dad about Ben, but maybe that’s not such a great idea.  That last new guy ended up dead in the forest, we killed the poor bugger twice.  That’s super harsh.  Ben’s probably better off as a secret for now.  On the upside he’s got a pantry full of Ramen noodles and Dunkaroos, so things are looking up.  I may have to take more walks, see if I can find more people around here who have cool stuff.  If I find someone with a generator, I’m totally going back and snagging that N64 I found last week and hooking up an entertainment center.  This living off of the land stuff has just about run its course.

We’re planning on putting together a search party to find Andrea, once everyone’s decided she’s alive still, which mostly nobody believes.  But we sort of have nothing else to do. There’s only one magazine back at camp and we’ve all read it a few times.  Plus Daryl took the best article out to wipe his ass.  It was about the Kardashians.  I have no idea who they are.  And I never will.