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These Monkeys Sling Suds, Not Poop

Monkeys working as waiters – Watch more free videos

I know we’re at war and we’re one month away from an election, but I just have one unpatriotic question: Why does the USA suck so much? Sure, we have free speech and a shitload of Burger Kings, but where are our restaurants that employ monkey waiters? All the recent talk of how we’re run by the free market isn’t holding much water when Japan is kicking our ass in the “Mind-Blowing Ideas That Will Make A Lot Of Money” department. Do you understand how many times I would eat at a restaurant that had macaque monkeys bringing me a beer in exchange for boiled soybeans? I would be there for breakfast, brunch, lunch, lupper, linner, dinner, supper and a midnight snack. And then I might pop in there just to say “hi” if i had a spare moment between linner and dinner.

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4 Responses to "These Monkeys Sling Suds, Not Poop"

  1. Roc says:

    Wow.. Japanese people are assholes.

    “These monkeys are better waiters than most human ones.”

    “These monkeys are like my kids. Actually, better, because my kids don’t listen to me!”

    I think we should prepare another nuke.

  2. Johan C. says:

    Your argument is null and void Roc, because in Japan, monkey serves YOU.

  3. Juan says:

    macaque loves boiled soybeans!

  4. Anonymous says: