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The Holy Taco Boxed Chocolates Guide
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Female Murderers You’d Probably Go Home With
Crystal Pepsi kicks the shit out of Tila Tequila. I at least have fond memories of Crystal Pepsi. Tila Tequila is the Nikki Cox of the moment: completely talentless but hot enough for 12 year olds with no internet access to whack off to.
Crystal Pepsi kicks the shit out of Tila Tequila. I at least have fond memories of Crystal Pepsi. Tila Tequila is the Nikki Cox of the moment: completely talentless but hot enough for 12 year olds with no internet access to whack off to.
What the Heck, Jimmy Jellinek
its not our fault youre an absolute wreck,
a blemish, a speck, on the interweb deck.
You surrendered your job for a net-slut’s peck.
And some inflated paycheck.
We oughta wring your neck,
What the Heck, Jimmy Jellinek.
Thank you rhymer.com
From: Grundoko
To: Jimmy Jellinek
Hey Jimmy, Learn some grammar.
Grundoko
Game Garage
http://www.grundoko.com
From: Mom
To: Jimmy Jellinek
Jimmy, I told you to use your words when you’re mad, not be an uber asshole to people that are merely pointing out many of your massive mistakes. FAIL
Grow up, Jimmy. Grow up.
Mom
Yea she’s an annoying idiot that probably has the emotional and intellectual iq of a peanut, but I’d still hit it. Don’t lie you would too.
Yeah of course I would hit it. But I also molested a goat one night after one too many scotches
Jimmy can go suck on a small Tila tequila dick. And F heavy what ever that is.
Wow, attention to detail is his strong point, eh, “CorEy”?
Suggestion for people who represent major publications and decide to attack other people for their opinion pieces: At least spell things correctly.
i’m on the fence about tila… sometimes she’s looks like a troll, other times, she’s very hot…
I wonder how many times she blew him to say thanks for making her a “household whore.”
he can’t spell, and heavy is the most useless shitty site on the web. he should go fuck himself!
This kind of feuding is all fun and games until someone gets shot in Vegas.
So Jim,
You have to carry on your shoulders the knowledge that you, singlehandedly infected the world with the Tila Tequila Virus, and are therefore solely responsible for the somehow popular yet horrendous result that is ‘A Shot at Love’.
I don’t know about you, but if I had to carry that type of thing around with me, I’m sure it wouldn’t take long before it got ‘Heavy’.
Don’t Hit That.
The writer of this article is really a douchebag. I get the genesis for the Tila article was to get back at Jimmy Jellinek rather than actually explain Tila’s status. Most of the article is dedicated to the editor-and-chief of maxim magazine, alternating between sarcasm and mockery, with a casual “…Tila Tequila somehow got famous” thrown in at the end.
Oh, and calling him Jimminy Cricket? Real fourth grade.
jiminy is a fucking moron for unleashing the pure unadulterated shit storm called tila tequila…i lump him in with the group who created the atomic bomb and the person responsible for the macarena…
btw i wouldn’t hit it…she looks like an asian tranny with really bad tattoos
FINDSOMECLASS:
I googled Jimmy Jellineck, and he DOES IN FACT look like Jiminy Cricket, so that’s no lie. The only difference is the Cricket is taller and NOT a douchebag.
Guess he was fired from Maxim for a reason.
Heavy.com, his own damn site, with a call out to TT’s “undeserved” fame…. hypocrite.
http://www.heavy.com/channel/1021
A response email should be sent saying: “Your defunct magazine worked great for cleaning up after my ‘fucking myself’ session.”
tilawearsnopants and findsomeclass i do believe jimbo there worked for stuff not maxim. tila tried to be a 2005 hometown hottie contestant but couldn’t figure out how to fill out the proper paperwork. since tila got her start as a mainstream skag through jimmy jellinek, i feel it’s proper to give credit where it is due. thus the article is correct in pointing out that this plague called “a shot at love” is jimmy boy’s fault. i’ve not seen him so i really can’t say whether or not he looks like a certain disney character. then again, i don’t really care. all i can say is that fucking tila tequila is probably like fucking the wound from a shotgun blast….with gangrene.
Heavy.com’s entire business model is creating a site that looks like it would be somewhere that a “brand” advertiser would want to advertise and then sending a bunch of bullshit pop-up traffic to the site to justify high prices for the ads (“Hey, we have 3 million “unique visitors” this month, never mind that most of them are randoms that got Heavy.com popped to them against their will”). It’s a fairly brilliant if scammy model.
Oh and Tila Tequila is a Vietnamese tranny hooker.
Jellinek: This guy amazes me. Totally botched Stuff Magazine into an unreadable, ADD -esque pile of shit… then moves to Heavy.com to create, well, nothing but spoofs of female-oriented tv shows on a site full of viral video
http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=4560481&affil=kabc (gotta put up with a commercial). Is it just me or does he sorta look like a lisping CORKY? Either mildly retarded or a victim up the shallow JAP gene pool in wherever he’s from.
TIA was actually on a few TV shows on cable before her “discovery” by Stuff, to set the record straight. (still an awful sperm chugger).
Friends in the industry say Jellinek, many years after Tia, still has ZERO grasp of of the internet… asking questions about how Heavy could “email IP addresses” and “have people upload files to the mainframe” in meetings.
I worked with Jimmy… he actually means well and hell, 1 million myspace friends back then was the gold standard that we all jumped on. Very funny that he accidentally christened a star by sheer luck (it is true, he does not know the first thing about the inner workings of the internet or marketing… but who really does besides a select few?).
What does amaze me is that he is still at Heavy after the recent layoffs (google it) with a hefty payola. Godspeed little spoofer.
Jimmy is missing a comma but other than that how can you not laugh
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First FOX now Heavy. You’re getting pretty big for your britches, Taco.
Tila Tequila sucks. pure and simple.
Still pretty cool to yank the attention of these folks.
But Tila Tequila does suck. Worse than Crystal Pepsi
Well Heavy.com sucks too, so may be the common factor is Jimmy da Clown!
Wow, she should just roll over into porn now before her body gets too used up for it. and i hole heartly agree, worse then crystal pepsi and that shit was nasty.
Heavy huh? That’s like mtv on steroids, without some good music and all the crap you’ve seen hundreds of times, with some extra gravy on it in the form of advertertisements
Looking at the well thought out response from mister VP himself, my comment about heavy suddenly isn’t as superficial as it appears to be.
He sounds pretty mad. It would almost lead you to believe he has gotten shit for this before
Well Jimmy, man up! If you can’t take the criticism, your in the wrong business. EAT A COCK!
I feel the need to clarify… She may suck more than the Alan Alda era of M*A*S*H, but I would still teach her to fetch. You know, put her on all fours and throw her a bone.
just sayin’.
btw something is funky with the wp-comments-post.php here, telling me I am posting comments too quickly, even with the first one, when I hadn’t posted a comment to begin with
To: Jimmy
From: Your High School Guidance Counselor
RE: Your Success
Jimmy,
Congratulations on your new job and title. Did you make that one up yourself, or do VP titles not mean what they used to? Regardless, just be careful of helping to run another company into the ground. O-2 doesn’t look good on a resume. Then again, it is the so-called “entertainment” business, so, who knows, keep it up and you may be CEO.
Cheers from all of us,
The staff at Central Sacramento Special Education Life Preparation School
wow, what a tool. cant even deny the allegations? tila asked me to be her friend along time ago. I denied her.
I Think she is cute!
She once played at the Asianmodelpalooza Festival and was Great!
http://www.asianmodelpalooza.com
Here in the 21st century we are redefining what Hell is. An eternity stuck in an episode of ‘The Hills of Tequila’ where you are stuck with Tila Tequila and Lauren Conrad. They only want to be your friend, they talk about bullshit constantly and they love to make stupid jaw dropping OMG I crapped my pants face at you. Your only hope is that your eyes fall out and you bleed out of your ears.
Oh my God, I just crapped my pants.
COCAINE!
What a tool
From: Crystal Pepsi
To: chris rohde
Hey Chrisrohde go fuck yourself
Crystal Pepsi
VP Entertainment and Programming
Heavy.com
Last time I saw JJ was at Piano’s getting blown by a tranny.
The snowman says hello
I love how she is making a surprised look as she grabs her breasts…
Tila: OMG look at my boobs cameraman!!
Tila’s boobs: STFU already… GOD DAMN I’m getting tired of being grabbed and poked and prodded. Leave me be and touch something that no one ever does: your face.
BOB is so true.
MTV sucks, too. I would drown myself in a swimming pool full of Crystal Pepsi before I willingly watched a tv show with Tila Tequila or Lauren Conrad in it.
I’d hit it, mainly because I have really bad self-esteem.
I didn’t know holytaco catered to homosexual men. Why do you guys even care if some girl gets famous? Only a woman would feel angst towards other women.. or gay men.
Sad part is her show will probably make it to 7 or 8 seasons, and compete with Flavor Flav for the bottom rung on the TV ladder.
I’ll say it again, I’d have sex with her in every position possible. She’s a bimbo ..but she’s quite attractive..her stupidity would make it all the easier to trick her into anal or whatever. Honestly I prefer her to Jessica Biel..which some guys seem to go crazy over..now there’s a talentless slut if you ask me. She can’t act, she’s not even all that attractive..she has this perpetual glazed over look.
What a fsck douchebag ! He’s so fucking mad that he can’t complete the 2nd line ! Way to go Cory !!
It must suck to take over a website that was cool like ten years ago. Now it’s just sad.
Why don’t you post his email address so we can all send him a message?
Get this fuck off of youtube and in jail
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clzFCPKGsRc
Screw that ugly monster shes brought tv down to a new low, and FCK that old talentless editor.
You fucking poseurs – there’s not a single one of you basement-dwelling social retards that wouldn’t eat a turd to bang Tila. Not that she’s the smartest tool in the shed, but then nobody’s paying her for her brains. I’d spank it to her hot little self any day.
Bobbi, Renee and Tila are awesone people on myspace so you fags just go back to your daddy’s basement.
We’re all entitled to our own opnions.
We just have to watch how we express them.
Otherwise people who rule the world can take us down.
It’s not to free in this world anymore.
From: eltardo
To: Jimmy Jellinek
Jimmy, what’s with the hate man? If it wasn’t for Taco, nobody would give a rat’s ass about your career or it’s mistakes. Learn some fucking respect already.
Eltardo
http://eltardo.com
Why are you guys hating on Tila? She is ridiculously hot, AND she’s down with other chicks. What the hell?
Yeah suck my balls.
Wanna get laid go to:
http://www.datingpeoples.com
I wish TT would suck me.
WAT THA FUCK IZ WRONG WIT U PPL, U ALL AINT NOTHIN BUT A BUNCH OF LOW LIFE JEALOUS COLD HEARTED BITCHES. FUCK U ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OF THA THA IMMORAL AND IMMATURE SHIT IN THIS WORLD, I’D HAVE TA SAY I JUST FOUND THA WORSE. I’M ASHAMED TO BE PART OF THA HUMAN RACE IF ALL IT CONSISTS OF ALL LIL PUNK ASS WANNABE FAMOUS BITCHES LIKE THA MAJORITY OF U.
FA HEAVEN’S SAKE, SHE A REAL PERSON! WAT THA FUCK IZ WRONG WIT U PPL SERIOUSLY, GETTING ON THIS WEBSITE AND POSTING ALL THIS DIRTY SHIT ABOUT HER. THATS REAL FUCKED UP AND IMMATURE. U ALL NEED TA GET YO ASSES BEAT ON THA SPOT. WOW IM JUST FUCKIN SPEECHLESS. WHOEVER WROTE THIS FUCKIN ARTICLE I HOPE GETS KILLED. THEY DESERVE IT FA BEING SO CRUEL AND TWISTED.
COME ON PPL, TALKIN SHIT ABOUT HOW SUM1 LOOKS ON THA INTERNET FA THA WHOLE WORLD TA SEE. WAT A BITCH. SHIT I KNO HIS ASS SURE AS HELL ISNT GETTIN LAID, LIL STUPID ASS JEALOUS BITCH. U AINT GOT NOTHIN BETTER TA DO. HELL PPL CANT HELP THE WAY THEY LOOK, THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY, AND IT TAKES A REAL LOW LIFE TA TALK SHIT BOUT SUMN LIKE THAT.
I’M JUS SO DISGUSTED AND SICK OF PPL LIKE THESE PPL HERE COMMENTING.
I’VE TALKED TO TILA AND I CAN TELL U SHE AINT NO WHORE. SHE IS A VERY SWEET GIRL, AND A WONDERFUL FRIEND, AND TO SEE SO MANY FAKE ASS PPL ON THE NET TRYNA SOUND COOL BY TALKIN SO MUCH SHIT ABOUT HER IS UNREAL. JUS WAT THA FUCK EVA…… I BET HALF THA PPL HERE ARE UGLY AS FUCK…..BIG FAT GREASY BITCHES….. ITZ ALL GOOD, TILA WILL ALWAYS BE BETTER THAN UR SORRY ASSES. ENOUGH SAID.
**AND TO PPL LIKEWHATAMIDOING, RIGHT ABOVE ME, UR RIGHT. I AGREE 100% WITH EVERYTHING U SAID. AND THANKS FOR BEING ONE HELL OF A ROLE MODEL FA ALL THESE LIL IMMATURE “KIDS” WHO ARE POSTING. I’M GLAD ATLEAST WE HAVE SUM HOPE, LIKE U! THANK U SOO MUCH.**
(to tha other ppl that have good morality, i’m sorry for all tha capz, i was just enraged that ppl have the nerve ta downgrade and say such immoral things about sum1 who they dont even kno. its just sickening. again i apologize.)
oh my…that post above should come with a warning…Side effects may include lowered IQ and bleeding retinas.
who is this tekila person anyway?
n3xus
You going on a rant just shows how you are a perfect example of why I’d be “ashamed” to be part of the human race. I don’t exactly agree with slinging derogatory comments at Tila but all the shit you said just made you what you supposedly hate. And you said you were speechless yet you continued. So contradictory =P
“I’M JUS SO DISGUSTED AND SICK OF PPL LIKE THESE PPL HERE COMMENTING.”
I totally agree. So,
Fuck off.
Jesus Christ, did you type that out on your sidekick?
LEAVE TILA AND JIMMY AND WHOEVER THE FUCK ELSE ALONE. UR ALL PATHETIC INSECURE ASSHOLES. U HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO IN UR MISERABLE LIFE THAN RIP OTHERS APART B/C U CANT STAND THE SUCCESS OR HAPPINESS OF OTHERS B/C UR LIFE SUX. FIND HAPPINESS AND LEAVE EVERYONE ELSE ALONE. TALKING SHIT ABOUT OTHERS ONLY MAKES U LOOK AND BECOME THAT MUCH MORE OF A SHITTY PERSON.
“”I’M JUS SO DISGUSTED AND SICK OF PPL LIKE THESE PPL HERE COMMENTING.
I totally agree. So,
Fuck off.
Jesus Christ, did you type that out on your sidekick?”
====================================================
Do i kno u??? bcuz i do have a sidekick and thats wat im using to type right now…….as well as the previous message. kinda awkward that u called it.
and i kno i kept goin on its just so enraging. it makes u wanna beat the shit outta the ppl. but u cant cuz u dont know where they live. but seriously that is no way to talk about sum1. Tila never did anything wrong to any of u, she would have said something if she did, so i cant see why ppl have the right to say the things they say.
Sersly, I didnt know who the fk was Tila Teq , this is hilarious. these are guys who are leeching the society and dumbing down the generation. they should be held accountable and sadly we dont
Both heavy.com and stuff have a “coke is acceptable in the workplace” policy so that should explain a lot of things.
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Who’s the fuck is Tila tequila?
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Hahaha. You can tell from the comments, the ones that live on myspace.
Tila Ticila looks like a mix between yako uno and a aborted fetus left to die at a tree
Well here we have another worthless talentless piece of dung. I would not urinate in her mouth if her teeth were on fire. What a dolt she is.
LOL Someone got their feelings hurt
Well Corey,
The question we’re all dying to know is… did you?
There are hot girls on the show. I do watch is sometimes for that reason. If I was a Nealson viewer, I would NEVER turn her show on.
You want to know why everybody hates Tila Tiquila so much??
Why everybody here feels like it’s their responsibility to hate on her so much??
I mean…. Have you ever tried watching A Shot of Love??
Your all just jealous. You just wish you were famous. P.S. – She does suck though…
hard to tell if its just trolls trolling trolls or retards responding to trolls.
oh well, the whole article is about a little retarded cave troll so its not like much was lost.
If you don’t have respect for whores or for women who are sexual exhibitionists, my suggestion is that you jump off a tall building. If you don’t have respect for whores, you’re a douche-bag and you’re unworthy to suck oxygen.
Tila Tequila is about as cool as a mouthful of dog rape.
Tila is hot!!!…..In her old pics and….as long as she keeps her mouth shut!!
This is an avalanche… for reals.
What happens to Tila when she drinks water after midnight? Could be scary…
We are not happy at being compared to that two bit earthling skank. Any more insults from you mateyboy and we’re coming round to kill your server.
Wait… you are accusing the former head of a sophmoric men’s magazine of coming up with some shallow stunt to bump readership? Shocker.
Regardless, hats off to jimmy j for fanning the flames of anonymous internet users flaming him!!!! fun.
When you think of all the guys AND girls she’s been with in her lifetime, there’s NO WAY any sane male or female would do her. I imagine you can get a disease from being in the same room as her.
Heavy has sucked since about the 10th episode of the America Sucks Countdown. That was something like 6 years ago. I believe the two deserve each other.
would you fuck me, I’d fuck me, I’d fuck me hard. As for Jellinek, dude sure is good at stirring shit up. Funny looking asshole though
Well, Cory, that’s what you get for telling the truth.
“TRUTH? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!”
(going from editor of a print mag to a website seems like a bit of a step down, doesn’t it.)
lol… that guy does have a great lisp. was tia teuilla one of the FSU girls?
LOL. Either Jimmy doesn’t understand the internet or he does and is trying to get publicity for his crappy site. In either case, this is entertaining.
Lovin this flame war
Seems like he knows what he’ doing to me considering y’all are still talking about him. As for her she may look like a Tranny hooker, but she does have the highest rated show in the history of MTV. How many of you basement dwelling losers would trade in your job at Home Depot and evenings spent hating anonymously on the internet for a shot at stardom. I would love to see what some of you all look like and I’m guessing fat tub of shit, with chronic masturbation problem ain’t that far off.
ho hum who cares?
i wanna be in Jimmy / tequila sandwich!!!
Watch Jimmy get slapped by a fish!
http://www.heavy.com/video/48441
douchetastic, you name says it fcking all. you are a douche. and theres no way tila tequila’s show is higher rated than it’s evil counterpart, “The Hills”
Jimmy also likes to watch people have sex with animals…Fuckin weirdo
http://www.heavy.com/video/31333
well… I love Tila either way…
That dog fucker video is a timeless classic… lay off
Hi
That was hilarious watching Jimmy get slapped in the face by a fish – hahaha. They should make a show of him getting hit by random objects.
That guy who bangs dogs is a sad lonely man. I wonder if he allows them to give him a hot lunch and golden showers.
This dick suck is doing it all wrong. He should have written in asking forgiveness.
I’m sure half these comments are jimmy talking about himself……..wait……….hes not that smart.
Jimmy’s email:
Jimmy.Jellinek@heavy.com
Email him to tell him what a douchebag he is.
wauw that dude must be an good at failing everytime he not just failed at tila whatever her name is with the front page thing he also failed to write a simple email without sound like an idiot
Well I guess some human,at some point in time, discovered that you could get milk from a cow.
Hey People…
I just found Tila Tequila full SEX VIDEO on
http://xvids-top.com/tilatequila.html
Advise this Nude Video…
I think she is cute hell put me on the next show a shot at love # 3 it can’t hurt anything !
Dear Jimmy,
If I could f*ck myself, I wouldn’t have time for Holy Taco.
Nothin’ but love for ya,
Cory “the love burrito” Taco
Wow, such an eloquent guy. It’s no wonder he was editor of a magazine.
I think Tila Tequila is cute. I watched her reality dating show often.
As for the email, just ignore ;9
Hey Guys!
Few days ago I had an idea to make Tila Tequila SEX weblog on wordpress and VOX because everyone was asking me and now this is finished!
You have to see it!!! I have found wwe diva nude video in the Internet!
If this video not a Fake then I think it will be a real scandal!!
http://tequilablog.vox.com
http://toptilablog.wordpress.com
Enjoy it…
Tila Tequila sold herself out after she appeared on MTV! ‘Nuff Said.
Tila is the best
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Taco nailed it! Tia really is a four-foot gremlin-faced whore.
WOW
I’ve found Tila Tequila Sex Tape ’09 free HERE
.
> > > http://tilatequila-sextape.blogspot.com
.
good quality..
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