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Tom Cruise Makes Totally Normal Scientology Video

posted 01/15/2008
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We got ahold of the Tom Cruise Scientology video that the scientologists played before they gave him his Butthole Trophy of Magnificent Award for lifelong achievement of being a cult member. (I’m totally getting killed for writing that sentence.) This video has a lot of terrifying/hilarious parts, but my favorite is his condescending laughter when talking about something called SPs. Then he mentions a lot of other acronyms that I didn’t understand and am too lazy too look up. Hey, if I’m already dead I may as well spend my time doing something I enjoy (masturbating while blogging. And masturbating.)

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16 Responses to "Tom Cruise Makes Totally Normal Scientology Video"

  1. cuchieddie says:
    January 17, 2008 at 12:59 am

    5:47 minutes and I’ve had it. The fucker is insane but then again so are all libeals

  2. ralph says:
    January 17, 2008 at 1:21 am

    Liberalism is a Mental disorder Now, who said that?

  3. Henrik says:
    June 3, 2008 at 6:56 pm

    Wtf? is he fuckin insane? he is a great actor, but come on after this nobdy can take that guy serius? he is never going to make a great film ever again? He has destoryed his life his work…Wake up geez!

  4. John says:
    July 6, 2008 at 4:53 pm

    Clearly, humility is not one of the precepts of Scientology.

  5. </a></cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/tom-cruise-makes-totally-normal-scientology-video/#comment-64401">May 13, 2009 at 10:05 am</a></div> <p>Greeting. Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.<br /> I am from Mongolia and learning to write in English, tell me right I wrote the following sentence: “Army navy marine air force coast guard military and defense information and resources.Ladasamaralovers – stay up to speed on the latest groups news and updates, visit the avtovaz avtolada automovil vaz russia russian ussr sssr.”</p> <p>Waiting for a reply <img src='http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_razz.gif' alt=':P' class='wp-smiley' /> , Aleron.</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment odd alt thread-odd thread-alt depth-1" id="li-comment-68983"> <div id="comment-68983" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">TomCruiseisINSANE</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/tom-cruise-makes-totally-normal-scientology-video/#comment-68983">May 21, 2009 at 8:06 pm</a></div> <p>Ladies and gentleman…testicles that is all</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment even thread-even depth-1" id="li-comment-126931"> <div id="comment-126931" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">Jobab</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/tom-cruise-makes-totally-normal-scientology-video/#comment-126931">November 14, 2009 at 4:03 am</a></div> <p>I think I motion for all of us when I motion ::flaps hands in the air::</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment odd alt thread-odd thread-alt depth-1" id="li-comment-1170"> <div id="comment-1170" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">NoPantsEverydayz</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/tom-cruise-makes-totally-normal-scientology-video/#comment-1170">January 15, 2008 at 4:13 pm</a></div> <p>Scientologists loves pants, so I hate them. Die PANTS WEARERS!! DIE!1!!</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment even thread-even depth-1" id="li-comment-1171"> <div id="comment-1171" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">siksik6</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/tom-cruise-makes-totally-normal-scientology-video/#comment-1171">January 15, 2008 at 6:26 pm</a></div> <p>I made it to 5:08 before I put the barrel of my 9mm in my mouth. Can anyone beat that?</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment odd alt thread-odd thread-alt depth-1" id="li-comment-1172"> <div id="comment-1172" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">Darren Gray</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/tom-cruise-makes-totally-normal-scientology-video/#comment-1172">January 15, 2008 at 6:54 pm</a></div> <p>I know that KXW and ppsp has meant just as much to me. Tom Cruise is a fantastic Leader and a Great Man…..Damn, I’m sorry. He’s a friggen flake.</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment even thread-even depth-1" id="li-comment-1173"> <div id="comment-1173" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">Pawk</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/tom-cruise-makes-totally-normal-scientology-video/#comment-1173">January 15, 2008 at 8:26 pm</a></div> <p>Um why can only scientologists help at an accident scene? Shit, don’t even call the paramedics, call the scientologists. They are the only ones that can help!</p> <p>I find it really scary that he thinks scientology is the only thing that can and does help people. Is he insane? That kind of egocentric thinking, that your religion is the best and only, is what causes so many problems in this world today. I think it is highly ironic he talks about suppression with this “religion. Just Google what the church of scientology has done to stop people from bad mouthing them, not to even mention brain washing their members.</p> <p>Man he looks crazy eyed. I also like the part where he says he would like to “romp and play and go on vacation , but he can’t, because he “knows. Last time I checked he travels around the world. Wtf is he exactly doing to make a difference? He’s full of shit, and he isn’t even coherent.</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment odd alt thread-odd thread-alt depth-1" id="li-comment-1174"> <div id="comment-1174" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">Dingo</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/tom-cruise-makes-totally-normal-scientology-video/#comment-1174">January 15, 2008 at 9:04 pm</a></div> <p>tom cruise will self destruct in 10..</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment even thread-even depth-1" id="li-comment-1175"> <div id="comment-1175" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">Don Jangles</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/tom-cruise-makes-totally-normal-scientology-video/#comment-1175">January 15, 2008 at 9:56 pm</a></div> <p>KSW -> Keep scientology working</p> <p>“Suppressive Person, often abbreviated SP, is a term used in Scientology to describe the “antisocial personalities” who, according to Scientology’s founder L. Ron Hubbard, make up about 2.5% of the population. Another 18% are PTS (Potential Trouble Source), as a result of the SPs”</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment odd alt thread-odd thread-alt depth-1" id="li-comment-1176"> <div id="comment-1176" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">Justin</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/tom-cruise-makes-totally-normal-scientology-video/#comment-1176">January 15, 2008 at 10:00 pm</a></div> <p>First off who wears a turtle neck and i couldn’t make it even half way throught before wanting to shoot everyone around me and then myself</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment even thread-even depth-1" id="li-comment-1177"> <div id="comment-1177" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn"><a href='http://www.myspace.com/firstinlaststanding' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Russ</a></cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/tom-cruise-makes-totally-normal-scientology-video/#comment-1177">January 15, 2008 at 10:22 pm</a></div> <p>If he believes that scientologists can help to get people along, send him and all the others to Iraq</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment odd alt thread-odd thread-alt depth-1" id="li-comment-1178"> <div id="comment-1178" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">Laranja</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/tom-cruise-makes-totally-normal-scientology-video/#comment-1178">January 16, 2008 at 1:48 pm</a></div> <p>Its just like watching The Office</p> </div> </li> </ol> </div> </div> <div id="column-right"> <div class="block"> <div id="re_ad_300x250"> <!-- BEGIN 300x250 ad tag --> <script type="text/javascript">document.write('<script language="JavaScript" 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