Christina Milian is an actress and singer. She’s also a new mother. She had a kid in February by that R&B singer who calls himself "The Dream." For all anyone knew, the two were still together. And then yesterday, pictures of "The Dream" making out with some other chick surfaced online. Drama!
We sat down with Christina Milian* to get her reaction to the news of her baby daddy’s adultering ways.
HT: So you’re single now! What are you doing later?
CM: Excuse me?
HT: Come on, we saw the pictures. Your man has moved on. Tragic, except not really, because it brought us together!
CM: You’re being really insensitive right now.
HT: And you’re being a prude. It’s time to celebrate, baby!
CM: So if your spouse was seeing someone else and you found out about it you’d be celebrating?
CM: On what?
HT: Does she look like you? If so, no.
CM: Ok. That’s kind of sweet of you.
HT: We’d kill that bitch!
CM: And nevermind.
HT: Let’s change the subject.
CM: Let’s. Please.
HT: So that chick your man was with. What an ass, right?
CM: That’s not really changing the subject, but yes, I would agree, she is an ass.
HT: Ha! That’s adorable. No, we mean her ass. Literally. Did you see it? Wow!
CM: You’re insane.
HT: And you’re lonely! We can help. Do you still look like this in a bikini? You know, since the baby and all?
CM: No, I don’t. So you should probably focus your attention elsewhere.
HT: We accept you as you are. Minus any applicable baby fat, naturally.
HT: So…we’ll see you later then?
*indicates total f**king lie