Against all odds, R&B singer and expert
woman beater Chris Brown has landed a new girlfriend, smoking hot model Jasmine Sanders. As if that’s not enough of a recovery from his recent downfall, if last night’s BET Awards are any indication, he may be well on his way to a comeback career wise also.
Meanwhile, we accidentally flashed our junk at a girl in accounts receivable last year and have been on a sex offender registry and forced to work from a remote location on the outskirts of Butte, Montana ever since. Where’s the justice?
Anyway, we may never understand the breaks that celebrities get, but we can at least try to understand why a hot model would get with a convicted abuser by pretending to interview her. Here goes!
HT: So, you’re pretty hot.
JS: Thanks?
HT: Yeah, don’t mention it. How long have you been into being beaten? Is it a lifelong thing or just a more recently developed interest?
JS: What are you talking about?
HT: We couldn’t help but notice that you’re dating Chris Brown.
JS: Yeah, and?
HT: He packs quite a punch with the ladies, if you know what we mean. Also, we mean he likes to beat chicks. How long have you been into that?
JS: Chris has changed.
HT: Can we smack you? Just, like, once, really softly. Just to see what it’s like?
JS: Are you insane?
HT: One of our interns got really drunk at an office party once and tried to punch a receptionist. He said she laughed at him or something after he dropped his pants in front of her. Ended up with a pretty badly fractured jaw. We tease him about it all the time.
JS: My god! What kind of place lets a guy stay employed after fracturing a woman’s jaw at an office party?
HT: Huh? Oh, no! It was his jaw that got fractured. Turned out she wasn’t a receptionist at all. It was Miguel, the guy who fixes the fax machine. He’s got a very feminine bone structure to him. It can be confusing when you’re drinking. But DO NOT hit on him, especially if your idea of hitting on him is you being a guy dropping your pants in front of him. He gets really pissed! Just ask that
intern!
And besides, we didn’t let him "stay employed." He’s an intern. They don’t get paid. He’s like one good beating away from being a slave.
JS: You realize I’m black, right? That’s offensive.
HT: Why would we be offended by you being black? That’s racist! We do not condone that kind of thing around here! No more than we condone domestic violence. You know, unless it’s your thing.
JS: Ok. I’m leaving.
HT: Fine, don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Also, don’t let that new boyfriend of yours hit you either. Black eyes are unsightly on a woman.
i hope one of the admins reads this post. this site has gotten pretty pitiful. what happened to all the good postings? and the daily chick pictures? its really quite boring anymore. what happened ht?
^ “… it’s really quite boring anymore.” ….
HT, what happened to the grammatical diction in this place? I mean, seriously! The basic English around here has gotten pretty pitiful.
THAT LAST PIC LOOKS LIKE THE BITCH HAD TO BE TOLD TWICE !!!!!
I love the fake interviews.
As for Brown, he nearly botched the song so he rode it out like it was an emotional breakdown. Total bullshit. Someone aughta curb his teeth out.
She looks a little rough there.