Here at HolyTaco, we're big sports fans. And we're also big fans of eating piles of snack foods while we watch said sports. So, in honor of the Super Bowl and our need to cram our faces full of processed foods with funny names, we created this football stadium made entirely out of snack foods.
Ingredients:
The Field:
1 Pound of Guacamole
15 Oz. Queso Dip For The Steelers End Zone
15 Oz. Salsa For The Cardinals End Zone
2 Oz. Sour Cream for the Field Lines
The Players:
15 Vienna Sausages
Helmets - 3 Oz. Sharp Cheddar Cheese
The Goal Posts:
1 Slim Jim for Each Goal Post
1 Oz. Monterey Jack Cheddar To Anchor (each)
The Stands:
58 Twinkies
1 Pound of Bacon
1 Bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos
1 Bag of Cheetos
1 Bag of Corn Tortilla Chips
1 Bag of Chex Mix
The Blimp:
20 Oz. Football-Shaped Summer Sausage (optional) (on second thought, no, this isn't optional. Go buy one.)
TOTAL CALORIES: 24,375
TOTAL GRAMS OF FAT: 1,285
TOTAL COST: $86.47
TOTAL DELICIOUSNESS: 1 Billion trillion, dude. One billion trillion.
The Process:
STEP 1 - Ingredients:
Put all your ingredients on an empty table and take a really crappy photo of them.
STEP 2- The Field:
Take one pound of guacamole and smear it on the center of a baking tray, leaving a section on either end for the end zones.
STEP 3 - The End Zones
It's important here to fill one end zone with one filling, and one end zone with another, so that neither team receives home field deliciousness. We chose salsa for the Cardinals, and Queso dip for the Steelers.
STEP 4 - Yard Lines
Take sour cream and put it into a turkey baster, then squeeze gently to make the yard lines across the field.
STEP 5 - The Players and goal posts
Vienna sausages make delicious players, and tiny cheese wedge helmets help keep them from getting concussions. Two different types of cheese helps to distinguish the teams. The goal posts are made from Slim Jim's, that we cut up, then stuck together with tooth picks. Monterey Jack cheese was used as an anchor to keep them standing, with a tooth pick linking the two together. At no point was it necessary to "snap in to" any of these slim jims. Cutting worked better.
FIELD REVIEW
Now that the field is finished, you can begin constructing the stadium around it, which you will also eat. It's important to lay down some paper towels, so that no food comes in contact with your disgusting table top. (Because if you're a person who makes this, you definitely have a disgusting table top.)
STEP 6 - The Stadium
The twinkie is nature's brick. You can make your stadium as large as you want, depending on how many twinkies you have at your disposal. We had 58. And probably could have used 90. Use tooth picks to secure the twinkies to one another. This outer stadium wall will provide a delicious dessert when the contents of the stadium have been eaten.
STEP 7 - The Bacon Wall
The bacon wall is the most important part of the stadium, because it keeps the throngs of screaming fans, in this case chips, from falling on the field, in this case the guacamole and salsa. Insert tooth picks into the first row of twinkies, and then weave the bacon in and out of them, so that it forms a pliable wall.
STEP 8: The Fans/Chips
Without the fans, there would be no game. It's no different in your snack stadium, so select four different kinds of snacks to fill the stands. Be sure to use pieces of bacon to separate your crowd into sections, as you can see in the corners of the stadium in this photo.
STEP 9 - The Frenzy
As you can see, the chips give the feeling of a crowd of crazed fans. Especially the cheetos, who can barely contain their excitement at Vienna Sausage Roethlisberger and his delectable team.
STEP 10 - The Sausage Blimp
At any major sporting event, a blimp shows up. In this case it's a 20 ounce summer sausage, that's shaped like a football. It doesn't float, we just took out the wire in photoshop, so don't get freaked out.
Fantastic idea. Next time, put some earth under the grass (add refried beans...might need a deeper pan).
The possibilities are endless and I'm already having fun doing thought exercises for one to bring to next year's party. Maybe you should have a contest.
ummm ~ seriously dude, make it all savory or all sweet. The thought of them Twinkies rather turns my tummy. Instead, maybe tiny hot dog buns with tiny hot links inside?
OMG that rules. Must try a USC version next year. I agree with the anti-Twinkie crowd though. How about constructing the perimeter with cans of beer/coke/etc. Oh, and needs more bacon.
Still... That is some damn fine snackmaking there!
All it really needs for the over 40 crowd is a bottle of Lipitor on the side lines to digest after this...hey what about South Fried Chicken legs as goal posts...may not look as good but sure will taste good
I am not a sports fan of any type but this is genius! Talk about using your imagination. Wow,maybe you should become an architect LOL anyhow it is a way to kill some time. To all the haters comments eat your heart out your just jealous that you didn't think of it first!!!!
Can't you read? Twinkies are nature's bricks! And besides, it's dessert, if you replace the twinkie walls with something you want to eat earlier, the stands will collapse and the fans will pour out onto the field and parking lots with a huge noise followed by many lawsuits.
Kind of a rip-off of the corn dog idea, but regular hot dogs in a bun would work better than the twinkie... Can't mix sweets with pure salty and fatty goodness...
I am Martha Stewart and I am sueing whom ever stole my Idea. Their was a leak! This was to come out in my next Magazine Issue. I had to mud wrestle Rachel Ray! It was her I know it was!!!
Martha would know the proper usage of there... as in "there was a leak"...
Otherwise... awesome concept and well executed... I agree with some that I would make it all, either salty or sweet but not combine the two...
Like your salty, meaty, cheesy stadium with the corn dog idea and then a sweet treat half time Brownie stage on the side... with little Hersey Kisses performers and caramel popcorn audience... hmmm
WOW that is awesome. I will have to say I think I would need a mud flap to tackle that snack. Holy Crap! I have never seen anything like it. That combination would certainly leave some 747 skid marks in your shorts!!!
Michonda!!! That is too cute!!! and to think I was going to get away with serving cresent wrapped cheddar filled lil smokies... tonight to Nancy and Darren... (Glad she don't get on here!!!) That is awesome!!!! GO STEELERS!!!!!
(244 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
January 29th, 2009 at 02:58 pm
mmmm bacon
January 29th, 2009 at 03:11 pm
can I sleep with it?
January 29th, 2009 at 03:27 pm
Boy, would I like to do a Lambeau Leap into those Cheetos and Bacon.
January 29th, 2009 at 03:29 pm
That.Is.Heavenly. Haha, greatest idea ever.
January 29th, 2009 at 03:38 pm
I can't just wait to watch NFL Super Bowl XXXIII - only
when I bite into Pillsbury Savorings!
January 29th, 2009 at 03:47 pm
LMAO! That's awesome!
I must agree with other posters that the Twinkies won't work (for me at least). I like the sub sandwich idea for the stadium.
January 29th, 2009 at 04:14 pm
I think I would use brats in place of the twinkies. Otherwise, a true master piece!
January 29th, 2009 at 07:40 pm
I was thinking the same thing.
January 29th, 2009 at 04:54 pm
how awesome does that look!! That should make national televison
January 29th, 2009 at 05:07 pm
ow, my arteries...
January 29th, 2009 at 08:09 pm
You dont have to eat the whole thing yourself !
January 29th, 2009 at 05:59 pm
get a LIFE!!!!!!
January 29th, 2009 at 06:43 pm
Oh, c'mon man! I don't even *like* football, but I have to admit this thing's awesome.
January 29th, 2009 at 06:35 pm
I am so ready for the super bowl now. I added a few special ingredients of my own.
January 29th, 2009 at 07:12 pm
Twinkies out - Bagel Dogs IN!!!
January 29th, 2009 at 07:13 pm
I cannot contain myself over the awesomeness that exists within this stadium.
Elvis Presley is smiling from somewhere. And probably eating a sandwich.
January 29th, 2009 at 08:07 pm
Awesome .. I just push the idea further and built en entire city around the stadium with different beer cans shape ...
January 29th, 2009 at 08:32 pm
A snack of such magnitude would truly rape the ever-loving shit out of my insides.
January 29th, 2009 at 08:42 pm
A snack of such magnitude would truly rape the ever-loving shit out of my insides.
January 29th, 2009 at 09:13 pm
this should be crowned the 8th wonder of the world
January 29th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
wonder if I could make a vegetarian version?
January 30th, 2009 at 06:41 am
"vegetarian version" (??????!!!!!!) - perhaps that would go nicely with making an ice-skating rink to watch a scott hamilton marathon
February 19th, 2009 at 09:04 pm
Fantastic idea. Next time, put some earth under the grass (add refried beans...might need a deeper pan).
The possibilities are endless and I'm already having fun doing thought exercises for one to bring to next year's party. Maybe you should have a contest.
January 29th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
ummm ~ seriously dude, make it all savory or all sweet. The thought of them Twinkies rather turns my tummy. Instead, maybe tiny hot dog buns with tiny hot links inside?
January 30th, 2009 at 12:18 am
Excuse me...I think I shut #$%* my pants...this is the most awesome party tray I have ever seen.
January 30th, 2009 at 02:13 am
OMG that rules. Must try a USC version next year. I agree with the anti-Twinkie crowd though. How about constructing the perimeter with cans of beer/coke/etc. Oh, and needs more bacon.
Still... That is some damn fine snackmaking there!
January 30th, 2009 at 04:18 am
All it really needs for the over 40 crowd is a bottle of Lipitor on the side lines to digest after this...hey what about South Fried Chicken legs as goal posts...may not look as good but sure will taste good
January 30th, 2009 at 04:50 am
Look at this
January 30th, 2009 at 05:45 am
I love you...
January 30th, 2009 at 06:08 am
I am not a sports fan of any type but this is genius! Talk about using your imagination. Wow,maybe you should become an architect LOL anyhow it is a way to kill some time. To all the haters comments eat your heart out your just jealous that you didn't think of it first!!!!
January 30th, 2009 at 07:22 pm
wonder if this person will od same with all sports?
January 30th, 2009 at 06:19 am
I would never have thought of this. You did a FANTASTIC job and I LOVE it.
January 30th, 2009 at 06:31 am
If I was a betting man I'd take Monteray Jack and the Under. They're playing with 8 vs. 7 for goodness sake.
January 30th, 2009 at 07:02 am
Genius, just pure genius. I love it.
January 30th, 2009 at 06:54 am
YOU SHUT YOUR FILTHY CRAMHOLES TWINKIE HATERS.
Can't you read? Twinkies are nature's bricks! And besides, it's dessert, if you replace the twinkie walls with something you want to eat earlier, the stands will collapse and the fans will pour out onto the field and parking lots with a huge noise followed by many lawsuits.
January 30th, 2009 at 07:31 pm
dont forget riots and fights to make sure their (audiance) team will win and mass chaos
January 30th, 2009 at 06:57 am
This what Oprah is going to have for very own this Sunday. Then on Mondays show she will show how other people can lose weight , not her fat ass!
January 30th, 2009 at 08:08 am
How about White Castle Sliders instead of the Twinkies?
January 30th, 2009 at 08:10 am
Keep the twinkes!! I like the white sticky stuff in the middle!!
Cheers!
January 30th, 2009 at 08:40 am
Kind of a rip-off of the corn dog idea, but regular hot dogs in a bun would work better than the twinkie... Can't mix sweets with pure salty and fatty goodness...
January 30th, 2009 at 08:56 am
I am Martha Stewart and I am sueing whom ever stole my Idea. Their was a leak! This was to come out in my next Magazine Issue. I had to mud wrestle Rachel Ray! It was her I know it was!!!
February 1st, 2009 at 07:14 am
Martha would know the proper usage of there... as in "there was a leak"...
Otherwise... awesome concept and well executed... I agree with some that I would make it all, either salty or sweet but not combine the two...
Like your salty, meaty, cheesy stadium with the corn dog idea and then a sweet treat half time Brownie stage on the side... with little Hersey Kisses performers and caramel popcorn audience... hmmm
All in all: 9.5
January 30th, 2009 at 09:39 am
WOW that is awesome. I will have to say I think I would need a mud flap to tackle that snack. Holy Crap! I have never seen anything like it. That combination would certainly leave some 747 skid marks in your shorts!!!
January 30th, 2009 at 10:14 am
one of the best inventions yet.
January 30th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Michonda!!! That is too cute!!! and to think I was going to get away with serving cresent wrapped cheddar filled lil smokies... tonight to Nancy and Darren... (Glad she don't get on here!!!) That is awesome!!!! GO STEELERS!!!!!
January 30th, 2009 at 10:49 am
You MUST post an "after" photo!
January 30th, 2009 at 10:52 am
You must admit this is a magical feat of snack food engineering!
January 30th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Where do you find a football shaped summer sausage?...
January 30th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
I want to chomp a big bite out of that.
January 30th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
I think this was a great idea...very creative!! But the hot dogs sound good too! Great tray for the party!!
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