Here at HolyTaco, we're big sports fans. And we're also big fans of eating piles of snack foods while we watch said sports. So, in honor of the Super Bowl and our need to cram our faces full of processed foods with funny names, we created this football stadium made entirely out of snack foods.
Ingredients:
The Field:
1 Pound of Guacamole
15 Oz. Queso Dip For The Steelers End Zone
15 Oz. Salsa For The Cardinals End Zone
2 Oz. Sour Cream for the Field Lines
The Players:
15 Vienna Sausages
Helmets - 3 Oz. Sharp Cheddar Cheese
The Goal Posts:
1 Slim Jim for Each Goal Post
1 Oz. Monterey Jack Cheddar To Anchor (each)
The Stands:
58 Twinkies
1 Pound of Bacon
1 Bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos
1 Bag of Cheetos
1 Bag of Corn Tortilla Chips
1 Bag of Chex Mix
The Blimp:
20 Oz. Football-Shaped Summer Sausage (optional) (on second thought, no, this isn't optional. Go buy one.)
TOTAL CALORIES: 24,375
TOTAL GRAMS OF FAT: 1,285
TOTAL COST: $86.47
TOTAL DELICIOUSNESS: 1 Billion trillion, dude. One billion trillion.
The Process:
STEP 1 - Ingredients:
Put all your ingredients on an empty table and take a really crappy photo of them.
STEP 2- The Field:
Take one pound of guacamole and smear it on the center of a baking tray, leaving a section on either end for the end zones.
STEP 3 - The End Zones
It's important here to fill one end zone with one filling, and one end zone with another, so that neither team receives home field deliciousness. We chose salsa for the Cardinals, and Queso dip for the Steelers.
STEP 4 - Yard Lines
Take sour cream and put it into a turkey baster, then squeeze gently to make the yard lines across the field.
STEP 5 - The Players and goal posts
Vienna sausages make delicious players, and tiny cheese wedge helmets help keep them from getting concussions. Two different types of cheese helps to distinguish the teams. The goal posts are made from Slim Jim's, that we cut up, then stuck together with tooth picks. Monterey Jack cheese was used as an anchor to keep them standing, with a tooth pick linking the two together. At no point was it necessary to "snap in to" any of these slim jims. Cutting worked better.
FIELD REVIEW
Now that the field is finished, you can begin constructing the stadium around it, which you will also eat. It's important to lay down some paper towels, so that no food comes in contact with your disgusting table top. (Because if you're a person who makes this, you definitely have a disgusting table top.)
STEP 6 - The Stadium
The twinkie is nature's brick. You can make your stadium as large as you want, depending on how many twinkies you have at your disposal. We had 58. And probably could have used 90. Use tooth picks to secure the twinkies to one another. This outer stadium wall will provide a delicious dessert when the contents of the stadium have been eaten.
STEP 7 - The Bacon Wall
The bacon wall is the most important part of the stadium, because it keeps the throngs of screaming fans, in this case chips, from falling on the field, in this case the guacamole and salsa. Insert tooth picks into the first row of twinkies, and then weave the bacon in and out of them, so that it forms a pliable wall.
STEP 8: The Fans/Chips
Without the fans, there would be no game. It's no different in your snack stadium, so select four different kinds of snacks to fill the stands. Be sure to use pieces of bacon to separate your crowd into sections, as you can see in the corners of the stadium in this photo.
STEP 9 - The Frenzy
As you can see, the chips give the feeling of a crowd of crazed fans. Especially the cheetos, who can barely contain their excitement at Vienna Sausage Roethlisberger and his delectable team.
STEP 10 - The Sausage Blimp
At any major sporting event, a blimp shows up. In this case it's a 20 ounce summer sausage, that's shaped like a football. It doesn't float, we just took out the wire in photoshop, so don't get freaked out.
Ewwwwww!! That's the most disgusting thing I've seen... other than the "Ultimate Super Bowl snack" which was beef with bacon wrapped around it.. and then baked?! Ewwwwww! The twinkies want to make me puke.
Ah... then this confirms my suspicions that USA is disgusting. This whole thing is a pile of crap, I wouldn't feed this to my worst enemy. I would be accused of attempted murder if I gave this for someone to eat.
I just bought all the ingredients to make this for tomorrow. I'm so excited!! I'm not creative at all, so I'm pretty much going to copy the design, the only difference, I got 72 Twinkies. Cheers! :)
Trying this...Kinda, only sweeter. I'm baking a cookie sheet sized chocolate chip cookie. Drawing yard lines with frosting. Using teddy grahams as little players. Twinkies and chips stay, but the bacon has to go. The toothpicks will have to contain the crowd! Thanks for the great idea!
If you use a ziplock bag to put the sour cream in, you can cut the tip and squeeze the sour cream out. It makes just as good lines as the baster and you can throw away the bag.
What a great way to express you ideas through food! Very unique! This is great for the people who dont need to keep their figure, and very accessable. plus, no dishes!!!
hell yaa this looks amazing and like a heart attack waiting to happen. actually iom going out to get the ingredients for the game tontie. cant wait for the commercials
(244 Comments)
Twitter
Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
January 30th, 2009 at 01:15 pm
what about 1/2 hotdogs or brats or something and 1/2 twinkies? you need to have some kind of dessert, right? maybe twinkies in the end zones?
January 30th, 2009 at 01:24 pm
Hot dog buns would work perfectly!!!
January 30th, 2009 at 02:22 pm
How bout grilled hot dogs WITH buns, as the wall.
January 30th, 2009 at 01:38 pm
The Sistine Chapel of food
January 30th, 2009 at 02:13 pm
i think i just splooged
January 30th, 2009 at 02:37 pm
Loved it.
For the rest of you- twinkies, corndogs, whatever. Don't you have any creativeness of your own? Personalize it.
January 30th, 2009 at 02:52 pm
When the game is over we will shoot cheese in a can over the winners and eat it off them!!!!!!
January 30th, 2009 at 07:20 pm
if the winning team is around for the finish
January 30th, 2009 at 04:08 pm
good gawd. i can feel my arteries clogging just reading that! looks good though!
January 30th, 2009 at 04:31 pm
Ewwwwww!! That's the most disgusting thing I've seen... other than the "Ultimate Super Bowl snack" which was beef with bacon wrapped around it.. and then baked?! Ewwwwww! The twinkies want to make me puke.
January 31st, 2009 at 02:22 pm
Take your Ewwwwww! back to high school judgmental bitch.
February 1st, 2009 at 07:49 pm
take your lack of brains back to the crap hole it came out from.
January 30th, 2009 at 05:28 pm
I would have used little smokies for the players the viennas don't do it for me. having got that out of my arteries, its a masterpiece!
January 30th, 2009 at 07:19 pm
as is -masterpiece
forgot concession stands
January 30th, 2009 at 08:34 pm
Thank you for this awesome creation and may the football gods bless you.
January 31st, 2009 at 12:07 am
This just in from Columbus, Justin Boren ate the whole thing!
January 31st, 2009 at 03:58 am
only in america would anyone even look at this disgusting pile of garbage let alone praise it. good god.
January 31st, 2009 at 08:50 am
Yes - God Bless America :-)
February 1st, 2009 at 09:56 am
HELL YA! THIS FOOD IS THE REAL AMERICA!
February 1st, 2009 at 07:46 pm
Ah... then this confirms my suspicions that USA is disgusting. This whole thing is a pile of crap, I wouldn't feed this to my worst enemy. I would be accused of attempted murder if I gave this for someone to eat.
February 3rd, 2009 at 08:43 am
If that's what you think of USA.
GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!! DO I HAVE TO REPEAT IT????
THEN FIND SOMEWHERE BETTER TO BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
January 31st, 2009 at 10:30 am
So...how many Weight Watchers points would this be??? I'm thinking about 490ish. There goes weigh in this week! That looks YUMMY!!!
January 31st, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Omg that would take my 2 days to make!
Goooo STeelers
January 31st, 2009 at 12:14 pm
WTF! Wow disgusting and delicious all at the same time.
January 31st, 2009 at 02:39 pm
I like salami
January 31st, 2009 at 02:47 pm
I just bought all the ingredients to make this for tomorrow. I'm so excited!! I'm not creative at all, so I'm pretty much going to copy the design, the only difference, I got 72 Twinkies. Cheers! :)
January 31st, 2009 at 03:00 pm
the narrative and comments are the best part of this!! thanks for a good laugh after a long week!!
January 31st, 2009 at 05:50 pm
only count 8 players. are there not supposed to be 12 men on the field ?
January 31st, 2009 at 05:59 pm
actually 11 players per team on the field
January 31st, 2009 at 07:05 pm
And that D actually has one more player than the Offense...I call Shenannigans!!
January 31st, 2009 at 06:41 pm
Reminds me of alex trautman
January 31st, 2009 at 08:18 pm
Trying this...Kinda, only sweeter. I'm baking a cookie sheet sized chocolate chip cookie. Drawing yard lines with frosting. Using teddy grahams as little players. Twinkies and chips stay, but the bacon has to go. The toothpicks will have to contain the crowd! Thanks for the great idea!
January 31st, 2009 at 09:30 pm
just looking this, it makes me want to take a crap
January 31st, 2009 at 10:14 pm
If you use a ziplock bag to put the sour cream in, you can cut the tip and squeeze the sour cream out. It makes just as good lines as the baster and you can throw away the bag.
January 31st, 2009 at 10:20 pm
This whole page including the comments is bookmark worthy. lol Too funny... good eatin'!
January 31st, 2009 at 11:46 pm
I don' know whether to burp, fart, or puke...very ingenious!!
February 1st, 2009 at 05:54 am
wow ! just wow! go steelers !
February 1st, 2009 at 07:36 am
very creative! Never seen anything like it before!
February 1st, 2009 at 07:50 am
I WILL TAKE ONE OF EVERYTHING THEN COME BACK FOR SECONDS
February 1st, 2009 at 09:06 am
What a great way to express you ideas through food! Very unique! This is great for the people who dont need to keep their figure, and very accessable. plus, no dishes!!!
February 1st, 2009 at 09:14 am
Completely amazing!! Am now sending this to fellow chef's. I can hear the "OOOOOOO's" right now!!
February 1st, 2009 at 09:57 am
Instead of Twinkies use buffalo chicken wraps for the stadium!!
February 1st, 2009 at 10:19 am
This article needs to be sent to the American heart association as a warning!!!! only in America baby...only in America. Go Steelers!!!
February 1st, 2009 at 10:24 am
wowwwwwww lol
February 1st, 2009 at 11:16 am
hell yaa this looks amazing and like a heart attack waiting to happen. actually iom going out to get the ingredients for the game tontie. cant wait for the commercials
February 1st, 2009 at 11:48 am
Freakin Beast!
February 1st, 2009 at 11:57 am
This brings a tear to my eye.
February 1st, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Oh my god, this stadium is freakin amazing.
February 1st, 2009 at 01:20 pm
"Made from, by, and for, Assholes"
February 16th, 2009 at 02:58 pm
Ouch!
That was a little harsh.
Post new comment