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Underused Sexting Abbreviations

Sexting is such a way of life now that politicians legitimately think they can do it and then run for office without being held accountable for it. Silly politicians.  For the rest of us it’s just the natural evolution of phone sex, itself the natural evolution of dirty letters.  And don’t think you’re above such things, it’s kind of hilarious how everyone feigns disgust when Anthony Weiner sexts someone (be offended that he was married, not that he was sexting) when even literary greats of a bygone era like James Joyce were known to send completely vulgar and full-on pornographic letters.  It’s human nature.  If you can’t physically be with someone, you at least want them to talk you off.  Don’t be ashamed of that.

That said, when it comes to sexting, brevity is apparently key.  Who has time to type whole words with one hand anyway?  That’s where abbreviations come in, including these spicy yet tragically underused dirty abbreviations.  Enjoy them next time you’re talking off the one you love.  Or someone you just met.

 

SOMPEM: Spooged On My Phone, Electrocuted Myself

CWTTBYWYESW: Can’t wait to teabag you while you eat shredded wheat

TRMOMM: This reminds me of my mom

WOSWIGAPR: Wait one second while I grab a pork roast

BYGMSD: Baby, you give me sexual diarrhea

IWBYLARWAOLBM: I wanna bang you like a robot with an overlubed banging mechanism

SILMGSABC: Suck it like my grandpa sucking a butterscotch candy

BMWTIATMIDY: Beat me with the iron and tell me I disappoint you

MSIEUS: Make sure I end up stanky

THETT: To the elbow this time

AHYCFWD: Any hole you can find will do

HBNTHIHIBS: Hard but not too hard, I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome

MMFLABS: Make me feel like a Boy Scout

IIDCYDIW: if I don’t cry you’re doing it wrong

PTMIMA: Put the meth in my ass

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