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The Upside of Morons Burning the Qur’an

upside to the quran burning
Nice Stache!
By now you’ve probably heard about Pastor Terry Jones and his plans to burn copies of the Qur’an at his small Florida church on the anniversary of the September 11th attacks. Despite repeated requests to cancel the event, including a plea from Gen. David Petraeus, Jones says he is going forward with it. While critics fear the burnings could further inflame tensions between the United States and the Muslim world, I’m remain optimistic. It’s not that I think it’s a good idea, it’s just that I have a habit of looking at the bright side of life. That being said, here’s a look at the upside of this monumentally stupid undertaking.

Cheaper Flights to Kandahār
tribal region pakistan
Thinking about taking a vacation? Airfare to Kandahār is about to drop like a rock thanks to this whole Qur’an burning thing. Most Westerners will avoid the area out of fear of reprisals, but that just means there are tons of great deals to be had for the traveler with a sense of adventure. And for those of you looking for a honeymoon, why not give the Pakistan/Afghan border a try? With prices this low, you’d be a fool not to take advantage. After all, the Pakistani Tribal Area is for lovers.

Less Pressure on NYC/Washington D.C.
nypd anti-terror unit
As the financial and political capitals of the U.S., New York and DC have always been a hot target for would-be terrorists. But thanks to the book burners at the Dove World Outreach Center, rural Florida might become the destination of choice for Al-Qaeda affiliated groups as well as “lone wolf” terrorists. Nothing against the fine people of Florida; obviously I hope nothing happens. But a target with a lower population density is an upside. Besides, it’s time NYC and Washington got a break.

Less Talk About the Ground Zero Mosque
mosque at ground zero
I thought all the constant bickering about the so-called “Ground Zero Mosque” would never end. But thanks to this latest controversy, the whole Mosque debate has really died down. Of course, it’s bound to spark up again once a small group of rednecks uses their First Amendment rights to incite a religious war, but for the time being, it’s nice to not have to hear about it. Thanks, Jones.

Catholic Priests Are Looking Better By Comparison
catholic priests
The Catholic Church has had a rough couple years, with the whole pedophile scandal, and all. The whole “Pope in the Hitler Youth” thing didn’t go over too well, either. But thanks to this trouble-making Protestant preacher, maybe Catholic priests can make a bit of a PR comeback. Sure, decades of child sex abuse and cover ups look bad, but at least all that diddling didn’t, in the words of Gen. Petraeus, “inflame public opinion and incite violence” against the troops! Go Team Catholic!

More Web Traffic for Monty Python’s Terry Jones
monty python's terry jones
Many people say that no good can come of this Qur’an burning. I bet Monty Python’s Terry Jones feels differently. Thanks to a random twist of fate, he shares his name with the Florida preacher behind this whole mess. As a result, his semi-official site is probably getting a butt-load of hits from people searching for news on the planned burning. Sure, the bounce rate is going to be through the roof, but a unique view is a unique view. Way to go, Terry. I hope you’ve got AdSense. Life of Brian rules!

5 Responses to "The Upside of Morons Burning the Qur’an"

  1. Jame Gumb says:
  2. HAH! says:

    I’m remain optimistic????

  3. RalphMalph says:

    Someone should send a shipment of Kool-Aid to the Dove Church… along with an instruction manual from Jonestown.

  4. dat dude says:

    When they(AL-Quaeda)blow up the shit outta this fuckin red neck church, they’ll get the message.

  5. aPlateOfGrapes.com says:

    All this over a twit with 50 followers. Jones had more.