There are thousands of different words
for boobs, but how do you know what term is appropriate for the situation you’re in? Luckily, we’ve spent a lot of time talking about boobs, and we’ve created a handy User’s Guide to Boob Terminology to help you figure out what boob term to use in a given situation.
What It Refers To:
The superior ventral surface (the upper-torso) of the human body. Usually, the term refers to this area on the female body, while "chest" is more commonly used to describe the upper-torso of male bodies, unless it’s a fat ass dude with man-boobs.
When It’s Used: In medical or technical conversations, or on television when, for some reason, they feel like they can’t just say "boobs".
Proper Usage: "Ma’am, I’m afraid you have breast cancer."
Improper Usage: "Hey, drunk chicks, show us your breasts!"
What It Refers To:
In reference to the boobs of your mom, grandma, a diety
, or any woman who you would never sexualize in a million billion years.
When It’s Used: In The Bible, or in reference to where a baby is sleeping.
Proper Usage: "…And lo, Mary held the child Jesus unto her bosom."
Improper Usage: "That stripper was rubbing her bosom all over my face!"
Boobs or Boobies
What It Refers To: Boobs that are covered by clothing with no indication of nipple, as in the image above. Because of the lack of nipple visibility, "Boob" is often used in a more playful tone, rather than a sexual tone.
When It’s Used: In everyday conversation between males and females alike. Due to its casual, non-threatening overtones, "Boobs" is considered a relatively non-sexual term, and is therefore acceptable for conversational use, making "Boobs" the most popular term for boobs.
Proper Usage: "Hey, boss! Your boobs look pretty good in that sweater."
Improper Usage: "Hey, wife! I’m gonna boobie-f*ck you tonight."
Tits or Titties
When It’s Used: When two men are discussing boobs in a sexual way.
Proper Usage: "Hey, drunk chicks, show us your tits!"
Improper Usage: "Ma’am, I’m afraid you have titty cancer."
Buzongas or Guzongas
When It’s Used: Usually in a conversation with other dudes, delivered in a manner of joking or comical disbelief. Most other ridiculous boob terms fall into this category as well (i.e.- knockers, chesticles, cans, hooters, funbags, dairy pillows, baby feeders, boulders, devil’s dumplings, flapdoodles, goombas, honkers, jugs, melons, milk bombs, num-nums, wopbopaloobops, sweater cows, etc.).
Proper Usage: "Did you see that chick smash the beer can with her guzongas?"
Improper Usage: ""…And lo, Mary held the child Jesus unto her guzongas."