If I had a nickel for every time I cooked up a great big meal of poison, only to have to throw it away because I read this article reminding me that I shouldn’t eat poison…well, I wouldn’t have any nickels.
This actual article is a helpful reminder that we need reminding about almost everything. It’s pretty clear that nothing is too obvious for us. So, here are a few more headlines that wouldn’t look out of place in any of our nation’s newspapers:
The Texas Center For Not Shooting Yourself In The Face Doesn’t Think You Should Shoot Yourself In The Face
The Center For Homosexual Sex Reminds Everyone To Put A Penis Inside Their Butthole
The New Orleans Department of Getting Hammered Loves To Get Hammered
The Society Of “Please Don’t Take A Dump In My Mouth” Would Prefer It If You Didn’t Take A Dump In Their Mouth
The Minnesota Cancer Center Thinks Cancer Totally Sucks
A Bunch Of Guys Who Liked The Movie Gremlins Give The Gremlins Movie A Thumbs Up
The Association Of Murderers Wants To Kill You
The Society Of “Please Do Take A Dump In My Mouth” Would Prefer It If You Did Take a Dump In Their Mouths (following up a previous story)
via photobasement
Courtney Love & Muppet Sexual Assault
Playboy’s Big Dance March Madness Bracket Challenge
I think it’s supposed to be “Association of Murderers,” not “Association of Murders.”
I wish the Michigan Poison Control Center would have issued a statement like this before I drank all the drain cleaner. I was playing pirate and the bottle had a skull and cross bones on it. I thought it was grog.
Has this site turned into some shitty Jay Leno blog?
i think there’s a typo: it should say:
“holy taco reminds everyone to put a penis in their butthole”