Explore Holy Taco

Valentine’s Day Gift Guide For Single People

Valentine’s Day can be a tough holiday for all those lonely, single, unlovable people out there. So, instead of feeling bad about the fact that no one finds them attractive, we thought that single people should celebrate their inability to be in a healthy relationship with a member of the opposite sex (or same sex, we don’t judge here.) Here are some products that will help them get through this difficult time. And as a bonus, all these products are available at HolyTaco’s CafePress Store.
The "I’m With Nobody" Shirts & Mug
What better way to let everyone know that there is no person in your life that loves you, than with a wacky t-shirt!
The "This is How I Roll" Shirt for Lone Sleepers
So you don’t get laid, so what?  Maybe you don’t get laid ON PURPOSE!  For some logical non-religious reason..that I can’t think of right now.
Purchase them here, four colors available for only 17.99!  Mens and womens shirts both available.

The "I Feed on the Tears of the Lonely" Teddy Bear
This teddy bear can only live off your lonely, lonely, tears.  So let your friends know that you know they’re all alone in life, by purchasing Mr. Lonely-lufagus!
Puchase here for only 17.99
The "I Already Roofied Myself" Beer Mug
Nobody would EVER roofie someone that had already been roofied!  I mean, that’d just be a waste of a roofie, right?!  Keep yourself safe this Valentine’s day, with this Beer Stein that let’s people know, you’re going to be immovable long before they can get a chance to force sex upon you.
Purchase here for 16.99.  Mugs also available for 13.99
The "If You’re Reading This, Then You’re Me" Underwear
What better way to remind yourself that absolutely no one will ever have sex with you, than to write it on your underwear?  Maybe a parrot that repeats "no one will ever have sex with you."  But you couldn’t get that parrot for the low low price of
 15.99 for guys and 10.99 for women, right?
Purchase Guys here, and women here.

27 Responses to "Valentine’s Day Gift Guide For Single People"

  1. I love the underwear!

  2. I mean where do you get things lol

  3. ugg boots says:

    For the coming Valentine Day,as authorized ugg outlet store ,we offer large free gift when you buy UGGS before Valentine Day.The activity start from January 23, 2010 and end on February 15,2010.All gifts are processed first come,first served basis.

    Only the customers who purchase two pairs of ugg boots or more(excluding the special offer cardy), can enjoy this special offer: $40=Ugg Classic Cardy boots.Best quality on ugg4life.com,Come and buy right now!

  4. uglysexy says:

    dang I got a tatoo like that ;p

  5. spanky says:

    I have no problem being alone when I want, it’s the haveing sex when I want that’s a problem.

  6. chker says:

    Being in a relationship is great, unless your gf is a skanky biatch who wont eat at Chilies. Me n my gf’s relationship is moreover like Ill get in the carm she’ll ask, where you wanna eat… Im going to feed you babeUGG Gissella

  7. Jeff Dempsey says:

    We are just glad no one is having sex with you

  8. tara white says:

    im just glad im not a sprem toilette.

  9. Anonymous says:

    everyone here is a guy

  10. Anonymous says:

    It really was though..

  11. Angel Amazing says:

    that’s funny

  12. KodyG says:

    i forgot “Into My Hand” which is quite crucial

  13. KodyG says:

    hahaha i love a good ducking. which reminds me. can you guys make one for me that says “I’m Going to be Balls Deep Tonight”?

  14. Butt Pirate says:

    hahah I think I’m gonna get a shirt printed with that for this weekend and wear it when I go out to the bar!

  15. Anonymous says:

    not funny.

  16. Anonymous says:

    “Waa waa, I’m single, boo hoo!” Shut the fuck up and get a girlfriend and then you’ll really know misery.

  17. Anonymoush8er says:

    M8, u r such a tw@ why the f would u say tht. 1 Day I HOPE it’s you, then I shall laugh at you 2!!!!!!!!

  18. cory says:
    Yes, we do think it’s funny. And we would also like to hear your "big ducking joke." That also sounds like it would be very funny! (We love ducks!)
  19. Leave ducks alone says:

    What do ducks have to do with relationships? Sick dude.

  20. Anonymous says:

    Whoever wrote can go fuck themselves. You think being single is fucking funny, a big ducking joke? Go to hell you fucking prick!

  21. Alex says:

    My TWO mom’s would think that pillow was HILARIOUS!!!

  22. Anonymous says:

    speak for yourself.

  23. Steve says:

    Why have sex with the same girl all the time?
    Us single guys have the best of both worlds, wemon when we want, alone when we want, it’s perfection!

  24. Anonymous says:

    ha ha ha! these comments are better than the page itself!! and yes ducks rule. QUACK.

  25. committed.... says:

    Being in a relationship is great, unless your gf is a skanky biatch who wont eat at Chilies. Me n my gf’s relationship is moreover like Ill get in the carm she’ll ask, where you wanna eat… Im going to feed you babe.

  26. Confirmed Bachelor says:

    Girlfriends r a pain in the ass, BEING SINGLE IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO!!!!!!

  27. Lots of Love says:

    This list is PERFECTION!!! Can’t stop laughing! :)