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Valentine’s Day Gift Guide For Single People

Valentine’s Day can be a tough holiday for all those lonely, single, unlovable people out there. So, instead of feeling bad about the fact that no one finds them attractive, we thought that single people should celebrate their inability to be in a healthy relationship with a member of the opposite sex (or same sex, we don’t judge here.) Here are some products that will help them get through this difficult time. And as a bonus, all these products are available at HolyTaco’s CafePress Store.
 
The "I’m With Nobody" Shirts & Mug
 
What better way to let everyone know that there is no person in your life that loves you, than with a wacky t-shirt!
 
 
 
 
The "This is How I Roll" Shirt for Lone Sleepers
 
 
So you don’t get laid, so what?  Maybe you don’t get laid ON PURPOSE!  For some logical non-religious reason..that I can’t think of right now.
 
Purchase them here, four colors available for only 17.99!  Mens and womens shirts both available.
 

 
 
The "I Feed on the Tears of the Lonely" Teddy Bear
 
This teddy bear can only live off your lonely, lonely, tears.  So let your friends know that you know they’re all alone in life, by purchasing Mr. Lonely-lufagus!
 
Puchase here for only 17.99
 
 
 
The "I Already Roofied Myself" Beer Mug
 
Nobody would EVER roofie someone that had already been roofied!  I mean, that’d just be a waste of a roofie, right?!  Keep yourself safe this Valentine’s day, with this Beer Stein that let’s people know, you’re going to be immovable long before they can get a chance to force sex upon you.
 
Purchase here for 16.99.  Mugs also available for 13.99
 
 
 
The "If You’re Reading This, Then You’re Me" Underwear
 
What better way to remind yourself that absolutely no one will ever have sex with you, than to write it on your underwear?  Maybe a parrot that repeats "no one will ever have sex with you."  But you couldn’t get that parrot for the low low price of
 15.99 for guys and 10.99 for women, right?
 
Purchase Guys here, and women here.
 
 

27 Responses to "Valentine’s Day Gift Guide For Single People"

  1. I love the underwear!

  2. tara white says:

    im just glad im not a sprem toilette.

  3. spanky says:

    I have no problem being alone when I want, it’s the haveing sex when I want that’s a problem.

  4. Anonymous says:

    everyone here is a guy

  5. I mean where do you get things lol

  6. uglysexy says:

    dang I got a tatoo like that ;p
    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/

  7. Jeff Dempsey says:

    We are just glad no one is having sex with you

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  9. chker says:

    Being in a relationship is great, unless your gf is a skanky biatch who wont eat at Chilies. Me n my gf’s relationship is moreover like Ill get in the carm she’ll ask, where you wanna eat… Im going to feed you babeUGG Gissella

  10. committed.... says:

    Being in a relationship is great, unless your gf is a skanky biatch who wont eat at Chilies. Me n my gf’s relationship is moreover like Ill get in the carm she’ll ask, where you wanna eat… Im going to feed you babe.

  11. Anonymous says:

    ha ha ha! these comments are better than the page itself!! and yes ducks rule. QUACK.

  12. Butt Pirate says:

    hahah I think I’m gonna get a shirt printed with that for this weekend and wear it when I go out to the bar!

  13. KodyG says:

    i forgot “Into My Hand” which is quite crucial

  14. KodyG says:

    hahaha i love a good ducking. which reminds me. can you guys make one for me that says “I’m Going to be Balls Deep Tonight”?

  15. Anonymous says:

    “Waa waa, I’m single, boo hoo!” Shut the fuck up and get a girlfriend and then you’ll really know misery.

  16. Anonymous says:

    not funny.

  17. Anonymoush8er says:

    M8, u r such a tw@ why the f would u say tht. 1 Day I HOPE it’s you, then I shall laugh at you 2!!!!!!!!

  18. Leave ducks alone says:

    What do ducks have to do with relationships? Sick dude.

  19. cory says:
    Yes, we do think it’s funny. And we would also like to hear your "big ducking joke." That also sounds like it would be very funny! (We love ducks!)
  20. Anonymous says:

    Whoever wrote can go fuck themselves. You think being single is fucking funny, a big ducking joke? Go to hell you fucking prick!

  21. Angel Amazing says:

    that’s funny

  22. Anonymous says:

    It really was though..

  23. Confirmed Bachelor says:

    Girlfriends r a pain in the ass, BEING SINGLE IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO!!!!!!

  24. Steve says:

    Why have sex with the same girl all the time?
    Us single guys have the best of both worlds, wemon when we want, alone when we want, it’s perfection!

  25. Anonymous says:

    speak for yourself.

  26. Lots of Love says:

    This list is PERFECTION!!! Can’t stop laughing! :)

  27. Alex says:

    My TWO mom’s would think that pillow was HILARIOUS!!!