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Website Prevents Accidental Icelandic Inbreeding

For most of us, incest isn’t a problem. We don’t have to worry about it. Yes, your 1st cousin might have a nice rack, but she lives in Newark and long distance incestuous relationships never work. Very few among us have to deal with incest and inbreeding in our lives, but that’s probably because very few among us lives in Iceland, where incest is a massive problem, apparently.


Iceland, the land famous for not being Greenland, isn’t filled with sex perverts that will pump their seed in to anything, including relatives. Iceland is a small island country with a population of 300,000, which is around the same population of about 10 Football stadiums worth of people, give or take a few thousand. It’s a small place. As such, it’s difficult to find a mate whose name can’t be found on some far-off branch of your own family tree.

Think about that problem. Imagine being born in a place in which the ultimate horrors of the dating scene have nothing to do with incompatibility or finding someone that’s willing to commit to a relationship or trying to find someone that likes the idea of one day having kids – the biggest problem is taking home some male or female bar floosy for a one-night stand and after some post coital chit-chat, finding out you just did dirty sex stuff with someone that can tell you some crazy stories about your wacky uncle Henrik; for instance, the fact that you’re both related to Henrik. That story is a real knee-slapper.

To combat this rash of accidental inbreeding, someone has created a website called islendingabok.is that allows Icelandic men and women to type in their own names, along with the name of someone they want to date or have sex with, and find out if they’re related to them before they play hide-the-herring, which I is assume is an Icelandic sexual innuendo.  If it’s not, why?

It’s like if Match.com and Ancestry.com joined forces to prevent you from accidentally fathering a child that is also your brother.

That’s how the site is supposed to be used. There has to be at least one or two Icelandic freaks out there looking to get all up in some family poon. This search engine has just given fans of incest the precise tool they’ve always wanted. These Icelandic freaks will have the site loaded on to their iPhones as they speed date, always asking the newly rotated girl her name, plugging it in to the search engine, and telling her to go away if she isn’t at least a 3rd cousin. He may be a disgusting pervert, but he has standards. You’re nothing without standards.

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