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We’re Turning Off Our Comments Because You’re Not Cool Anymore

Details after the jump, along with more funny pictures to counter-balance the scathing criticism of your recent behavior!

Dear Holy Taco Commenters,
I am writing this post with a heavy heart. It’s not that I’m sad about it or anything. I just ate a massive cheesesteak for lunch and the heartburn is setting in, which means that pretty soon it’s going to turn into assburn, and I am not looking forward to that at all. But, as upset as I am about my impending diarrhea attack, I’m not even slightly upset about having to write this next sentence: due to recent influx of particularly ugly, mean-spirited, and generally hateful comments on our site, we’ve chosen to deactiviate commenting capabilities on Holy Taco for a little while.
First, I apologize to the tons of genuinely insightful and hilarious commenters that have been interacting with eachother on this website for the past few years (and there are a TON of you out there). I’ve been saying ever since I started working here that Holy Taco has the best comments section on the internet, and I firmly believe that. No other site offers a community of users who are quite as creative, insightful, and just downright ball-shrinkingly hilarious as ours are, and we absolutely love that. We would feel incredibly lucky if a new reader came to HT and viewed our comments section as a reflection of our site and our content: it’s dirty, tasteless, and incredibly inappropriate, but it’s always reliable for a good laugh or two — at least it was.  Lately, I’ve noticed a change in the tone of our comments section that conflicts with our original intentions for this site, and that tone is not welcome here.
Holy Taco’s comments section is intended to be an environment where people are free to insult eachother’s mothers, brag about boning eachother’s mothers, and battle eachother to come up with the most creative household objects to say you shoved up someone else’s mom’s ass. Instead, it’s becoming a bastion for comedically constipated assholes desperately attempting to improve their self-image by shitting on any and all available targets, including this site’s editors, other commenters, guest columnists, and even the completely passive readers who visit our site on a daily basis. These types of comments are uninformative, unentertaining, and completely unacceptable. More importantly, they negatively affect our business, and once you begin infringing on our ability to run this site, you’re no longer welcome here.
In short: some of you are turning into a bunch of childish assholes, and nobody likes assholes. You’re like a kid at a college party who tries to pick a fight with every single person who walks through the door. Do you know what happens to those people? They either get kicked out of the party, or they get stabbed (depending on what part of town the party is in). Luckily, we consider ourselves fairly high-class (not counting all the shit and dick jokes), so we’re just going to politely ask you to leave. Our commenters make up way less than 1% of our total readers, so the few asshole commenters will not be missed at all. Thanks for reading and good riddance, but seriously: don’t come back here anymore.
Compared to most other sites, we’ve given our commenters more than their fair share of freedom in our comments section, and some of them have chosen to use that freedom to start fights, attack innocent people, and propogate negativity without even trying to be creative or funny, which drives readers, advertisers, and other sensible commenters away from our site. Therefore, we’re calling a time out to provide some time for the assholes go elsewhere. We’ll start up the comments again in the near future, and hopefully we can get our comments section back to where it once was. Until then, enjoy your daily dose of the Taco in peaceful silence. I’m dropping one last picture at the bottom as a reward to those who made it through to the end of this post (or just scrolled down).
Justin Thomas
Managing Editor

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