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What’s The Thing Between This Guy’s Legs?

Meet Paul Mason. Paul used to be the world’s fattest man. He’s not anymore, but he’s still fat enough for me to look at this photo and think, “Where’s Paul in this picture? I only see a large beanbag chair sitting on top of a bigger chair. This isn’t a picture of Paul. This is just chairs.”

Paul is suing Britain’s National Health Service for sending him to a dietitian and not an eating disorder specialist; thus, he believes, the NHS is directly responsible for his continued outwardly expanding growth. In other words, he is suing the NHS for making people like me think pictures of him are actually just pictures of chairs that have been stacked upon one-another.

Obviously, Paul is a moron. He should really be suing whatever nebulous factors that caused him to fill the hole in his soul with cakes. Coincidentally, it is because of this attempt to fill the holes in his soul that prevents Paul from moving through most of the holes people pass though on a daily basis, like doorways and mountain-side tunnels. So there really isn’t a whole lot to say on the matter of Paul and his anger with NHS. But what there is a lot to talk about is this…

No, not that…

…warmer, but not that…

…yeah, that…WHAT IN THE HOLY F*CK IS THAT?!

It looks like an uncooked turkey birthing another uncooked turkey.

It looks like Kilroy’s nose.

If you flip it to the side, it looks like a faceless department store mannequin dressed as the Michelin man is tossing his arms in the air victoriously.

It looks like he’s sitting on another fat guy.

It looks like he injected Twinkie filling in to his testicles.

It looks like he’s so fat his body is beginning to grow a second fat man to balance out the load.

It looks like he’s sitting on a giant flesh-colored computer mouse.

Whatever that thing is, it’s ridiculous. How that particular section of the body can become so large that is appears to become its own separate entity, independent from the laws that govern the rest of the body, is beyond us.

Paul, you are a true wonder.

17 Responses to "What’s The Thing Between This Guy’s Legs?"

  1. Rahm-Immanuel says:

    YES AWESOME ALLUSION TO KILLROY!!!

  2. DonkeyXote says:

    I believe that’s called a lymphedema. @_@

    • he who cannot be named says:

      donkeyhote, you are clearly a disturbed person, really i mean you are commenting on every single article of holytaco, what the fuck is wrong with you?

      i mean are you such a pathetic loser that you must seek validation from the holytaco staff?

      good god man, i mean seriously you should evaluate your life, even hobo’s who give 2 dollar blow jobs to your dad have more self respect than to hang around holytaco all the time

  3. Tyler Durden says:

    It’s his fag bag.

  4. trin says:

    in females this is referred to as the FUPA (fat upper pussy area.) It’s basically a super-enlarged version of the pad of fat that sits atop the pubic bone, above the genitals. his dick is buried under there somewhere.

  5. Schmittsgay says:

    Hilarious, who ever wrote this needs to write more if not everything on this site.”This isn’t a picture of Paul. This is just chairs” bravissimo

  6. MacGruber says:

    Scientific Fact-Its called a F.U.P.A (Front Upper Pussy/Penis Area)

  7. Binka says:

    He was on a TV show in the UK where they showed him get a rubberband on his stomach to stop him eating childern, and the next op he had was to remove that thing. it weighed 10kg!!!!

  8. Victoria says:

    You’re a fucking dick… you actually are.

    How you can use other people to get a cheap laugh like that, I have absolutely no idea.

  9. med student says:

    the medical term for that is “pannus”. if he wasn’t as heavy, it would be easier to see that this part did derive from the area of the FUPA as macgruber mentioned.

    True story from school:
    There’s a guy at a local hospital who’s due to have surgery, and he’s about 5’8 and ~500lbs. The surgeon takes one look at the guy and then starts in on him telling him about how the entry incisions will have to be changed because of the size of his pannus. Being unfamiliar with the term, the patient assumed that the surgeon was referring to another part of the anatomy. For the next 24hrs, he told every visitor, med student, nurse, etc that the surgery had to be changed due to the size of his penis. no one corrected him as it made his so happy.

  10. med student says:

    10 kilos? no. the average pannus of a 500 lb person, when removed, is ~100lbs.

    http://www.drlinder.com/media_contemp-surg.htm

  11. ShallotBeSaid says:

    It looks like a nutsack, but it’s actually the top “fat ring” of the thigh that has turned a different color from the lymphedema. This is an accumulation of fluid that can’t be broken down by the body because the lymph nodes at the groin area can’t filter it out. The lymph nodes in the legs can fail when extreme weight is put on them like this. So he starts to have a discolored lifesaver sized ring of skin that will continue to get larger and eventually leak lymph fluids out.

    The best way to help get this down is to do intense deep tissue massage from the ankles upwards to help push the fluids to the lymph nodes so they can begin to break it down and get it out of the body.

    Gross i know, but this guy couldn’t get lucky enough to even find his ballzac if he wanted to.