What Are The New York Giants Thinking?

posted 03/12/2008
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Why would the Giants sign perennial failure David Carr to a $1 million contract when they have already have Jared “I’m a Tad Overweight” Lorenzen filling the role as backup. With his overhanging gut and his pork chop face, the 300-pound “Hefty Lefty” is by far my favorite player in the league, and I’m not even a Giants fan. Let’s look at “The Abominable Throwman’s” stats from last year.

Completions: 4
Attempts: 8
Yards: 28(!)
Completion %: 50 (amazing!)
Rating: 58.3

If you draw these stats out over a whole season, the “Pillsbury Throw Boy” would have, like, 300 yards passing! As you can see, the “Lord of the Ring Dings” is a completely capable backup. Are there any Giants fans out there who would rather have David “I’m Not A Great Big Fat Person” backing up Eli instead of ”The Round Mound of Touchdown”? Leave your NFL insights in the comments section.

Tags: 2008-03, Blog entry, hefty lefty, jared lorenzen, new york giants, News, pillsbury throw boy

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9 Responses to "What Are The New York Giants Thinking?"

unPC says:

March 12, 2008 at 6:49 pm

Of course I’d rather see Lorenzen in there! He could do double duty as a backup O-lineman too!
Andy says:

March 12, 2008 at 7:28 pm

They could never refer to the ball as the “pigskin” around Lorenzen. They feard that he may steal it, cut it up into nice slabs, and throw it on the grill.

I love my Giants. Now they’re a little less “Giant.” Well done.
Bosco says:

March 12, 2008 at 7:41 pm

Eli Manning is a GIANT cocksucker…fucking open mouth breather.
John A. says:

March 12, 2008 at 8:22 pm

Bosco likes Tom Brady’s cock in his mouth!
John says:

March 13, 2008 at 12:08 am

HAHA Pillsbury Throw Boy, amazing. Eli’s a bitch.

http://www.bannedinhollywood.com
Scc says:

March 13, 2008 at 2:45 am

I must say those nicknames for Jared made my day.
lily says:

March 13, 2008 at 4:23 am

wow…nice..I saw his profile on the dating site ~~~Tallmeet.com ~~~few days ago..he’s rough all the same..I will paste this pic in my blog on And as a part-time model, I uploaded my best photos, the members there said I am amazing. here are many people like me. interested in?Just search the username, you may want to check them first.
Doughboy says:

March 13, 2008 at 9:36 am

David Carr will register 3 sacks a game just sitting on the sidelines.

The guy is a total “lineman magnet” and he just doesn’t seem to know what he is doing with any receivers. I am more in sync with my buds playing 4 on 4 in the park than this guy has ever been in the NFL.

The Giants now think they are the Patriots, and can take any scrub in the NFL and plug him into the system.
andrew says:

March 13, 2008 at 6:06 pm

18and 1 Go Tom Brady And Moss and Belachick How ’bout that 3-some.

Lets hear it for all the new Giant fans. Half of them were Patriot fan all year.

I think its time to trade Shockey. Eli came out of his shell after Shockey got hurt.

What Are The New York Giants Thinking?

9 Responses to "What Are The New York Giants Thinking?"

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