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What The Book You’re Reading Really Says About You

It’s probably true that you can’t judge a book by its cover, but you can tell a lot about a person by what book they’re reading, so we decided to provide some insight into what the book that you’re reading says about you:
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 

196 Responses to "What The Book You’re Reading Really Says About You"

  1. Anonymous says:

    You can get a bendy straw at Starbucks!? WTF, I’ve been getting regular ones for years! Damn, I’ve totally been missing out.

  2. Dick Tucker says:

    Did you hear a record needle scratching when you read that too?

    I’m now the owner of a melted boner.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Terrible =/= Idiotic

  4. Anonymous says:

    I think the comments make me laugh harder than the actual articles somtimes. Fucking amazing.

  5. Sewer says:

    I’ve got a crab-ridden taint:
    http://www.FilthyRichmond.com

  6. Anonymous says:

    hhahaha…dear god….

  7. vaffanculo says:

    Palindrome FTW!!

  8. Anonynony says:

    I’m sorry, have you ever read any of the “greatest authors”? And if Rowling has an extensive knowledge of mythology, it is not displayed in Harry Potter, where most of the “mythology” is taking names descriptions that could be drawn from a reference book and mixing them all up into something new.

    I’m not against Harry Potter or J. K. Rowling, but you’re an idiot.

  9. Leeroy says:

    The Dan Brown one is very true, the chapters are so small and they’re basically like that to make people seem like they’re fast readers.

    —-
    Watch TV Online

  10. Anonymous says:

    They’re terribly written. Not being published doesn’t mean not being able to READ and analyze enough to know that. Plenty of complete shit is published (Twilight or any Dan Brown novel for example). Plenty of amazing books are never seen or heard of. You don’t need to be a director to know a terrible movie when you see it, and you don’t need to be an author to know when a book is terrible.

  11. sardonic wit says:

    Sorry, I’m already spoken for.

  12. Anonymous says:

    What is sad is the degree to which you like the smell of your own farts.

  13. Anonymous says:

    Harry Potter is the second best selling book ever

  14. Modest says:

    Last time i was on a plane i read Ron Paul’s “Revolution A Manifesto”. I wonder what that says about me? Perhaps I’m one of the 5 percent of people in this country that understands whats really going on?

  15. Anonymous says:

    no i think hes right, this isnt funny at all. try reading a good book and stop being a close minded dick sucking shit face.

  16. R Stevens says:

    Absolutely… something by Rob Zombie… no biting and draining, but a lot of throat-ripping and blood-bathing while the vamps call their victims “Food”, “Moron” and “Twilight Fan”.

  17. Anonymous says:

    Okay really…the Ron Paul stuff is over… get with it he lost

  18. Anonymous says:

    Based on that statement, i’d say it means:

    “Political Wonk With Interesting Points No One Will Ever Know Because He Insists on Being a Self-Righteous Wanker When Talking”

  19. Anonymous says:

    i think it says that your arrogant, honestly do you need to anonymously brag on a website?

  20. Anonymous says:

    Over? We just got a bill HR 1207 over 50% support in the house today. This is far from over buddy. You better start reading.

  21. Anonymous says:

    “but to know its fluff and still read it is a very sad thing indeed”

    this is ridiculous mate :)

  22. anonymurderer says:

    wtf is this, Juno?

  23. Anonymous says:

    Thank God for Cracked.

  24. Anonymous says:

    Not really such a long shot, Mao’s little red book comes surprisingly close.

    It turns out you can get a lot of readers when you can force a fifth of the world’s population to read something. Who knew?

  25. Anonymous says:

    wait….so you consider the above list “good books”? I see…

  26. Anonymous says:

    You forgot the Koran: “Men who like women in sheets.”

  27. Anonymous says:

    That you’re sexually interested in short old men with no hair?

  28. Bunny says:

    But the funny thing is that you can judge a book by its cover.

    As long as you can separate yourself fro your emotional reactions for a short while, you can see which stories the publishers believed in enough to hire a decent cover artist. Do not look for things that appeal for specific people, look at the quality and originality of the cover artwork.

    The next step is to look closely at the content of the cover image. If it is a fantasy novel, is it covered with humanoid shaggy dogs in armor, or an orc being disemboweled with a halberd? This gives the reader a good idea of who the story is aimed at, and their mental age.

    Then I read the blurb on the back to see if it has anything interesting to say, and says it in an interesting way. Cliche phrases and unimaginative blurb writing also says how much the publisher believed in the story.

    It is no guarantee, but it works 98% of the time.

    This saying comes from a time when every book was bound in the same colored material. Often with the only text on the spine.

  29. Anonymous says:

    Yeah, all those Ron Paul supporters are so smart, they understand everything except the fact that their candidate never had the slightest chance of being president.

  30. Anonymous says:

    I think it says that you’re most likely a late teens to twenties male with more sense of outrage than you have actual sense. GG

  31. Anonymous says:

    Start buying Newport stock everyone!

  32. Anonymous says:

    Cool story sis!

  33. Anonymous says:

    I’m pretty sure of that too….lol

  34. Anonymous says:

    Cool story bro!

  35. Anonymous says:

    no it isn’t

  36. Anonymous says:

    We lost? I think the American people lost.

  37. Anonymous says:

    Yes 7 million drones can’t be wrong…

  38. Anonymous says:

    well said

  39. David Carradine's Penial Noose says:

    Hilarious, especially the last one.

  40. Anonymous says:

    I’m so anonymous, go internet!

  41. Anonymous says:

    everything you just said was incorrect… I’m astounded when people try and defend harry potter as good literature. Its fluff…

  42. Anonymous says:

    And what would the cover of that book say about me? “I troll the internets!”. Just kidding… Seriously though, Michael Dukakis should have won in ’88 !!!

  43. Anonymous says:

    So you know….even Jewish fairy tales can have value, and you should read the way this one ends. Check it out sometime or maybe even dust it off and give it another chance. Hasn’t anybody ever read a book more than once? Of course – you never know what you may find in there – fairy tale or not, it’s a really good read.

  44. Anonymous says:

    how did twilight not make it on this list?

    “I’m a 13 year old girl, tremble at my ability to push horrible literature on everybody else!”

  45. Anonymous says:

    You may consider harry potter to be a childs book, but most of the so called greatest authors can’t touch rowling when it comes to symbolism or captivating a reader, not to mention her extensive knowledge of mythology.

  46. Whitey says:

    We’d get it all back in 20 minutes. Didn’t you see Chappelle’s Show?

  47. asd says:

    for the barack obama one it should have said: “I want everyone to like me so im reading a barack obama book even though its full of fucking shit.”

  48. Anonymous says:

    A BLACK MAN IS PRESIDENT…. REPARATIONS!!!!

  49. suomynona says:

    taco For The Win!!! chuck shmuck! jews…. classic!

  50. Anonymous says:

    butthurt

  51. Anonymous says:

    twilight gets me laid by those teen/preteens. i just put in fake vampire teeth, the crappy plastic kind, and go chill by the middle school

  52. Anonymous says:

    if Barrack Obama, John Mccain, Hillary Clinton , that guy from new york, huccabee, Nader and all those other people that ran didn’t run for president and he was the only name on the ballet he would have totally won

  53. Anonymous says:

    Less than the Idiots that thought McCain Had a chance

  54. Anonymous says:

    Palahnuik is still great…but I do feel that way now reading the books.

  55. Jason Howard says:

    ROTFL, dude thats the funnies thing I ever seen (except for the Bible one) LOL

    RT
    http://www.online-privacy.vze.com

  56. Rachel Joy Lentner says:

    unfortunately, more and more teenage kids whose mommies and daddies got them the 16 gig itouch rather than the 32 gig feel quite angsty at starbucks and start reading his stuff to vent out their deep and twisted hurt over such a betrayal while drinking a venti frappuccino extra whipped cream through a bendy straw.

  57. Rachel Joy Lentner says:

    wrf is all the hype over twilight? its just something else for preteen girls to swoon over and then have the hopes and dreams of someday becoming a fictional blood sucking leach of an animated corpse. aim high little girls, and keep scrubbing away at that acne. some day, you too can become something that doesnt exist.

  58. justin says:
    Really good point.  We tried to work up a Twilight one, but the book cover is kind of boring, and we couldn’t get the font looking right.  Maybe next time, though!
  59. David Carradine's Butt Plug says:

    hey, long time no see…mmrph mrphf.

  60. Anonymous says:

    That was the best one of them all. So true. Silly bronze age myths.

  61. Anonymous says:

    The bible one is the truest of them all.

  62. Anonymous says:

    That makes sense in the abstract but I don’t think it’s 98% of the time. For example, Chris Hitchen’s “God is not Great” is a master piece and the publishers whored it to no end, yet the cover is just plain yellow with the title in black font. In contrast, the self produced “The Absurdity of Philosophy” by Azrienoch (who’s writing isn’t fantastic btw) has a most amazing painted cover. I know this is anecdotal but I don’t know if a large sample study has ever been done on this.

    However I know one thing. Graphic design is a profession but virtually everyone knows or has the talent to make an appealing design for free, and when publishers do it it’s not like the spend tons of money when, depending on what they are going for, it may just take a photographer and some basic computer skills.

    A better indicator would be how heavy a publisher pimps a work but then again they’re doing it because it will sell, not because its a work of art.

  63. Anonymous says:

    And my band now has an awesome name.

    Ladies and gentlemen … CRAB-RIDDEN TAINT!!!

  64. Anonymous says:

    someones been reading too many old jewish fairy tales

  65. R Stevens says:

    Riiiiiggghhhhttt. Newsflash, Bozo. Take any five-minute sampling of anything written by Tolkein or Heinlein and you’ll rack up more excellent symbolism and Mythological references than all of Rowlings’ work combined.

  66. Anonymous says:

    Just checked. It definitely is. By a loooooong shot.

  67. Anonymous says:

    Pretty sure the Bible is the best-selling book of all time, actually. Just saying.

  68. Anonymous says:

    I can’t believe how fucking unfunny this is.

  69. Anonymous says:

    Look up HCR 50 in the texas house of representatives.
    And that one about Dan Brown is priceless; Just flew a week ago and saw some idiot reading that (in first class, btw).

  70. David K. says:

    Good one, Rush.

  71. Anonymous says:

    Would you like some curry powder with your hat?

  72. werd says:

    I think your hat is safe.

  73. Anonymous says:

    It’s true that it’s a bronze age collection of morally contradicting fairy tales. Give me evidence to the contrary, and I’ll eat my hat.

  74. Anonymous says:

    Fluff? Yes. Enjoyable fluff? Also yes.

  75. Anonymous says:

    I like Ron Paul, but people like you ruin him. Shut your pompous whore mouth!

  76. Rachel Joy Lentner says:

    haha, thanks. no, i dont think starbucks actually does have bendy straws. if they did id be all over it though! and then write my new novel on my ibook so everyone could see how intellectual and hip i am. then go home and jerk it to a good poem or possibly martha stuart living. depends on how dirty im feeling.

  77. Anonymous says:

    Fluff? Compared to what exactly? Literature is about telling a story and making you think for yourself and perhaps even entertain you. This is what I hate about pseudo intellectuals, its not good enough unless voltaire wrote it or something. Step off your high horse, and realize that the womans books have sold more copies than the jewsih fairy tales aformentioned. Prick.

  78. David Carradine's Butt Plug says:

    very good

  79. Anonymous says:

    Tell me one good book and i’ll tell you what a closed minded dick sucking shit face reads.

  80. Anonymous says:

    only sometimes

  81. Anonymous says:

    Sigh* Oh jews…

  82. Anonymous says:

    indeed, almost as creative as being the douche who tells people to read a book on holytaco.com,

    now THAT is truly pathetic individual.

  83. Anonymouse says:

    I love you Rachel. If you have nice breasts, I’ll marry you and that sardonic wit.

  84. Pratik says:

    I would laugh at this but it’s probably true.

    They need to make some horrifyingly psychotic vampire movie that’s almost rated NC-17 for sheer brutality and gore.

  85. Anonymous says:

    completely 100% contextual.

    its one thing to read it and enjoy it bc you’re in grade 7, or a slightly-to-very retarded adult with a limited knowledge of literature.

    but to know its fluff and still read it is a very sad thing indeed.

  86. trimao says:

    damn that was hot

  87. Travisty says:

    The best part was the part about the books.

  88. john lovitz says:

    i can’t believe I’m losing to this guy.

  89. Anonymous says:

    I wrote the Celestine Prophecy. Ever heard of it? Of course you haven’t, because you’re an illiterate prick.

  90. Anonymous says:

    yeah, you’re pretty much an idiot. Try again.

  91. ^^^Dipshit says:

    Wow, good one.

  92. Anonymous says:

    lol. it’s a joke. it’s funny. geez people.

  93. Anonymous says:

    I think it says you spent a great amount of time as one of the “Informed” right wing nut jobs, who insisted on telling everyone how moronic they are to believe the left ‘biased’ media, up until the point when it (the right) imploded and you needed some other non-liberal philosophy to be absolutely correct about. P.S. Ron Paul sounds like the old Purdue chicken guy. just sayin’.

  94. Everyone Thinks I'm Jewish says:

    Because a stack of papers of the same literary caliber of “Twilight” is like, totally awesome, man.

  95. Anonymous says:

    What’s idiotic about dan brown’s books?
    at least several million people read his books. what bestseller have you written lately?

  96. Anonymous says:

    OK this is freakin hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!

  97. Amomymous says:

    jerk it?

  98. Jenni says:

    I actually really enjoy the bathroom readers. Especially when I’m somewhere and I don’t really have time to read a chapter in something…I can read a little article in there. It’s kinda nice. The trivia comes in handy too.

  99. Anonymous says:

    so the 2 best selling books of all time a fairy tales, not sure which one involves more magic

  100. Anonymous says:

    coincidentally, i first read that book on a 3 hour flight from India to Dubai. :D That first picture made me laugh like crazy, because of that alone.

  101. Mattress says:

    Very true eurt yreV

  102. Anonymous says:

    if reading makes someone sound as smart as you i’m never reading again.

  103. Jonathan says:

    Indeed, at this point in time his hat may be the safest place on this planet.

  104. Anonymous says:

    Actually it is not a good read. Suggesting to someone they should read it from cover to cover hints me that you have not completely read it either. I have. It does not have an ending in the traditional sense. It just ends with batshit-crazy Nostradamus-style visions.

    The New Testament has it’s moments, but the book is mostly windy, boring, incoherent, self-contradicting, amoral, and extremely violent.

  105. Anonymous says:

    “dick sucking shit face”

    Creative.

  106. Anonymous says:

    No no. No no no. To think it’s fluff and still read it makes you self-aware, which is part of being an adult. To be under the impression it’s great literature and read it makes you deluded, which is pretty child-like. So know that it’s fluff, but go ahead and enjoy yourself because it’s high-quality fluff.

  107. nomad says:

    The people who are saying Harry Potter is for children all seem to be arguing that all fantasy novels are for children. I know plenty adults who enjoy reading Harry Potter. Yes, it began as a children’s book, but that was when the characters were 11 and 12, and even them there was some complexity to them. the point is that the books age with the target demographic. But seriously, this is a comedy site, and to expect more than jokes on this site is stupid. Arguments about what is good literature on a joke site are pointless.

  108. eknks says:

    That Harry Potter book definitly isn’t a Child book!!
    Most Children wouldn’t understand most of what happens in it!

    dizi izle dizi izle diziizle canli dizi

  109. dino goposaur says:

    Finnegan’s Wake = back away slowly from reader, don’t make eye contact.

  110. Anonymous says:

    kiss ma ass

  111. Anonymous says:

    Aww look at all the cute little bible humping faggots getting all butthurt over the jewish fairy tale book.

  112. Anonymous says:

    to “I Disagree”: I love you. Your arguement is all that is needed.

  113. Anonymous says:

    Its very…true.
    Harry Potter was good in the sense that it got alot of kids introduced to the genre.
    But, there are definetly better fanstasy novels for that age group.

  114. Anonymous says:

    I agree with the previous statement. HP got people reading who usually wouldn’t pick up a book. Also, try starting a counter-argument with something more intelligent than “your an idiot”.

  115. Anonymous says:

    Hipster?

    Sadly, it’s probably true.

  116. Karen says:

    I am always reading a book – and it is usually a fiction murder mystery. I hate blood and gore movies, but love mystery and suspense and stories about solving murders. It is very unlike anything else about me and I would love to know what it says about me. My appetite for these books is insatiable,

  117. Bytor and the Snow Dogs says:

    The Bible has helped many people to live better lives and be kind to one another. It has also helped many people to be judgmental douchebags that try to force their views on others and lose their sense of humor. Fuckers.

    Toilet books rock. Heavy Metal magazine ftw.

    The Secret is such a big joke. I would love to make a short film about a handful of devoted Oprah fans who have mastered the “Secret” and enter into reality altering warfare with each other over contradictions of will. (there will be blood)

    I don’t even know what that yellow and red book is. Don’t care. No. Don’t reply telling me.

    Much like stereo instructions, a manual is not a book.

    Obama’s book alt title shoulda been “I’ll Even Buy This Book to Prove I’m Not Racist” by Every Guilt Ridden White

    Rowling writes poorly. What? You liked the books? OK. So fucking what. She still writes like a child. Your love of her stories is no more valid than my opinion of her skill. I could write something as long as one of her books about the dumb, irritating, or dissonant shit in her stories. D minus. (but surely I’m wrong due to the huge sales, right?)

    Brown’s books are not much better. He is the Winger of popular fiction. Some poor schmoe had his story purchased, well raped, watered down, sensationalized, and had fake spectacles put on it by Brown.

    Funny shit as usual, HT. Rock on.

  118. Anonymous says:

    To “your stupid”

    If you lack the ability to even write properly, I would greatly hesitate to even consider your opinion as worthy of consideration. This is far from an ad hominem argument, as i am merely considering the fact that most people who have read extensively should know the difference between “your” and “you’re”.

    That said, these are books which span the age spectrum, so that I believe the Harry potter books are ‘fun’ for all ages, but I wouldn’t go so far as to call them astounding pieces of literature. They lack complexity, persist in the black/white distinction of moral acts [for the most part] and are written with a vocabulary that a 10 to 12 year old child should be able to understand. They *do* encourage people to read, and that is the major benefit of them.

  119. Rava says:

    “Duo cum faciunt idem, non est idem” – When two do the same, it’s not the same. I meanna two quite differert men may read one book, but motives and effects (interpreting) may be much various

  120. Everyone Thinks I'm Jewish says:

    Correction: I Enjoy Old Jewish Fairy Tales And Like To Apologize For Being Human.

  121. Annie says:

    Twilight is self-explanatory. It needs no Photoshop.

  122. I disagree says:

    The problem with what you’re saying there is that “If it can be understood by a child, then it’s simply for children.” I read Jurassic Park when I was in middle school after watching the movie. I enjoyed it, I got the whole “cloning dinosaurs” thing. Since I got that – the single cohesive element of the entire FUCKING story – does that make Jurassic Park a children’s book?

    People want to lump all the Harry Potter books into “children’s books” because it started off as such. But the level of sophistication in the books grew along with the audience. No one wants to recognize it as “real” literature because the NY Times Bestseller list decided all the intellectual elite needed to see something else in the top five slots – presumably to salve their own egos. So they shunt it off to one side with all the other YA titles like “young Indiana Jones.”

    The fact of the matter is there isn’t a required word count to be considered “adult” literature. There really isn’t such a thing as an “adult” exclusive book. Unless you count porn. Which I do. And enjoy.

  123. Anonymous says:

    to quote mitch hedburg, any book is a childrens book if the kid can read

  124. Anonymous says:

    exactly

  125. MegJ says:

    Heh, I actually have a lot of this mentality when I’m selling these books to customers. Although I’ll admit I highly enjoyed the Harry Potter books and I still wanna read Palahniuk.

  126. Anonymous says:

    The first couple of harry potter books were probably good for middle school aged children.. fun for adults to read, but the writing was a little childish.. however, as the series goes on it gets very dark and very adult. The vocabulary also isn’t very child like. It’s a good book for all ages and, best of all, it gets people reading who wouldn’t otherwise.

  127. Anonymous says:

    Children’s books are in the children’s section.

  128. Your stupid! says:

    Your an idiot. Obviously Harry Potter is a child’s book and you are just dumb for reading it. And what wouldn’t children understand? death? magic? having a crush? missing your parents? These are all themes anyone can relate to so shut the fuck up about it not being a children’s books.

  129. Anonymous says:

    Ðолосую за 4ÑŽ ))

  130. Anonymous says:

    you’re an idiot harry potters a sick book and the seventh one is definetly themed for young adults, so suck a dick, im way cooler then you by the way you pussy ass bitch

  131. O the M says:

    Well, for starters, I hate to shit all over your proud childhood moment but Jurassic Park was not well written. Some high-brow ideas in it, sure, but it is riddled with shoddy continuity and sloppy structure. JP was science pulp. That you read and understood it is to your credit but has nothing to do with the HP books and their level of quality.
    The HP books are good for enticing young people into continued reading. Its not that they totally suck …. but they do suck a little. Every book is essentially a mystery. The answer to the mystery every time is “Voldemort.” Its like the end of every Scooby Doo show except it ends up being the same dude under the mask. The books can try to get past the Adults Only sign with it’s fake mustache of “darker content” but most of us can tell its just 2 kids in a trenchcoat.
    The author’s intellectual oversights are forgivable if the books are for children. But if you want to claim that they belong on an even footing with standard fiction then they suffer under scrutiny. They are simply good kids books. Not great. Not genre spanning. Nothing to do with number of pages.

  132. Loaf says:

    That Harry Potter book definitly isn’t a Child book!!
    Most Children wouldn’t understand most of what happens in it!

  133. Joe Felice says:

    Ulysses by James Joyce: I’m willing to endure 800 pages of indecipherable nonsense to look intelligent to you.

    The Catcher In The Rye: I want to feel unique, but with as many people as possible.

    anything by Ayn Rand: Practical or not, true or not, I love the idea of most people suffering so that the best people (me) can be happy.

    Romeo and Juliet: Don’t hit on me, I’m in 9th grade.

  134. Elisa says:

    What? No Twilight jokes?

  135. Anonymous says:

    Oh, give me a break. Harry Potter is fun and all but it is *clearly* written for children and young adults. It’s about freaking *wizards*, for chrissakes!

    Go to your local library and see where they’ve catalogued the HP books. Oh, that’s right, they’re in the children’s section.

  136. Anonymous says:

    what the fuck do you normally read that you consider the HP books sophisticated?? They’re childrens books. End of story. I’ll give some examples of the two different genres so you understand better.

    Sophisticated Adult: East of Eden – John Steinbeck
    Unsophisticated Children: Harry Potter/Twilight

    Sure they’re fun, but don’t try and make the argument that they’re sophisticated. That just makes you look like you’re in 8th grade…

  137. Anonymous says:

    i am 12 and what is this?

  138. Anonymous says:

    okay your an absolute dick man. keep your opinion to yourself. god.

  139. Duh! says:

    If you are as smart as you think you are by writing that ridiculous comment….then why the FUCK are you on holy taco?

    *ooooh weeee let’s argue anonymously with someone over the internet, yea yea, I’m a bad ass*

    YOU MY FRIEND ARE A FIRST CLASS DUMB ASS!

  140. Duh! says:

    It’s amazing….

    You have really good books on this list and people are fighting over Harry Potter? Wow…I guess I am to old to be on this site. This obviously is for the 13 and under crowd!

  141. Anonymous says:

    wow did you just learn to swear? your an absolute ass

  142. Anonymous says:

    “Literature” is a matter of opinion. Who gives a rat’s ass if a novel’s written poorly, or has pulpy content? Who cares if the main character was abused as a child,if he isn’t engaging on some level? Stories were originally meant to ENTERTAIN or INFORM, not to depress or be analyzed word by word. I’d rather read some pulp magazine fiction than The Catcher in the Rye, or Ulysses, or some high-and-mighty piece of “literature” any day, hands down. Apparently, “literature” has to be depressing to be well-written. Whatever happened to reading being fun?

  143. cheeseandbananastv says:

    theese are hilarious!!!!

  144. Anonymous says:

    oh my goodness
    its freaking Harry Potter
    you all should try reading the New York Times

  145. Collin says:

    really funny, but you need to proofread your stuff a bit more diligently, you can see the original text under the word asshole on the fourth book :/

  146. dontCare says:

    i pity you HOLYTACO…soon, you wont be laughing coz you didnt believe in “fairy tales”..sigh..

  147. Apex's boss' son says:

    I can’t believe you missed my graduation party you dick

  148. Apex's Boss' wife says:

    Where have you been over the last week, you know our son was having his graduation party! Wait till mom hears about this!

  149. asshole says:

    Did someone say something?

  150. Dick says:

    Hey, don’t bring me into this! I get enough shit from my neighbor–he’s an asshole!

  151. Apex's Boss' Son's Girlfriend says:

    Yeah, Dick!

  152. Dick's Neighbor says:

    Suck it, Dick! That’s right, all over your face!

  153. someone says:

    not till just now

  154. The Money You Could Be Saving With Geico says:

  155. Apex's Boss says:

    Thanks, i am pretty cool.

  156. Collin says:

    LOLOLOLOL you just made my day :)

  157. Anonymous says:

    reply button is for reply

  158. ahha says:

    @ John Mccain – I’m sure they will see your wife and Sarah Palin’s daughter their. Maybe they call all hang out and talk about your hang-ups. And have sex.

  159. Jessica says:

    I <3 Rant bestest book ever.

  160. Anonymous says:

    Did you mean “ment”?

  161. Rachel Joy Lentner says:

    no, lullaby was the worst thing he ever published. you have to actually use intelligence when reading pygmy to make sense of the mucked up “engrish.” if that is too much of a challenge, i heard “go dog go” is an easy read for folks like you.

  162. Rachel Joy Lentner says:

    100% agreed

  163. Jason says:

    Chuck hasn’t written anything worthwhile since Choke.

  164. Anonymous says:

    I agree with the post. It looks like that to other people, but it doesn’t nessesarily mean that you agree with them…

    …man I hate commenting on post’s…

  165. Anonymous says:

    maybe if you stopped sucking so much filthy cock you wouldn’t hate commenting on posts so much.

  166. chili mac says:

    I have never farted and not enjoyed it’s aroma on some level

  167. Anonymous says:

    wow that’s really dumb. i thought this was gonna be some psychological stuff. instead it’s dumb jokes, none of which made me lol. i guess it’s the logical choice of jokes of a website that couldn’t write it’s way out of a cardboard box.

  168. Anonymous says:

    For the record, could you please tell the group exactly how one writes his way out of a cardboard box? Not that I’m stuck in one and need to write my way out of it. I’d just like you to understand that you just insulted a website with a cliche you can’t explain. It’s funny.

  169. Anonymous says:

    the post is hilarious! But the funniest thing about this post is, or possibly the saddest, is the comments and how angry people get when a JOKE hits a little to close to home. Get a sense of humor people…unless you agree with the tone of this joke in relation to yourself in some way, it really shouldn’t make you so mad. It really is funny. And if you do think the joke is aimed directly at you, why not think about it for a moment before exhibiting you ignorance on the internet for all to see.

  170. Anonymous says:

    You come to Holy Taco for insightful “psychological stuff”? Where do you go to look at hot girls? CNN?

  171. Your stupid! says:

    Unlike the anonymous user below me, I would actually like to know how to write your way out of a carboard box because sadly I have been taped inside one for hours now. Any help or advice you can give would be greatly apprehiated. I happen to have a notebook and a pen if that will help. And by the way you are a fucking idiot. These were creative and I’m very happy that you probably won’t help me to get out of this box because you have no sense of humor and make me want to shit in your face! Asshole!!!!!!

  172. mic says:

    YES!! “Dick sucking Shit face” is the most awesome thing ive heard all day.

    Thanks Anonymous June 11th 9:56

  173. Anonymous says:

    betcha can’t wait to tell all your friends at recess..

  174. Pierre says:

    brilliant, holy taco. Fucking brilliant.

  175. rgar says:

    Y’all are so cynical.

    I don’t know whether that makes you cool or not.

  176. justin says:
    Well, we’re not cool, but I don’t think it’s because we’re cynical.  I blame most of it on my baldness.
  177. john mccain says:

    enjoy ur trip to HELL holy taco…let me know how it is down there

  178. john mccain says:

    enjoy ur trip to HELL holy taco…let me know how it is down there

  179. Holy Taco says:

    Reporting back… oh hey look. Its Dark, and nonexistant. I wasted my flyer miles on this? BAAWWWW

  180. ahha says:

    there

  181. ahha says:

    You know what, forget it. I completely screwed that up. Sorry for not proof reading first.

  182. Rachel Joy Lentner says:

    say what you will about the others, but pygmy was a pretty fantastic book.

  183. inkngrease says:

    pygmy is the worst thing chuck has written thus far. I am a huge fan and have read everything he has ever published, but the broken engrish the book is written in makes it damn near impossible to really get into the story. and yes, I ment engrish.

  184. Apexs says:

    i didn’t think it was that funny tell the last one — i was laughing so hard my boss had to come see what was so funny. Great stuff

  185. Pierre says:

    i like your boss

  186. Anonymous says:

    i suck filthy cocks all the time and love commenting on posts. guess again

  187. Anonymous says:

    this article sucked.

  188. Anonymous says:

    boolshit

  189. Anonymous says:

    My balls are the best selling book of all time.

  190. Anonymous says:

    waste of time…shit post

  191. Anonymous says:

    Wait, U are taped inside a box and u have internet??? why would u want to leave???

  192. Biblebeater says:

    OMG the Bible is fairy tales??? NoOOOOoOOoO!!

  193. Passer-by says:

    The last picture is awesome – so true.

  194. valleygirl71.blogspot.com says:

    You guys are def. cool! And brilliant! Love you guys!

  195. Anonymous says:

    Have you seen Robin Meade?