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What To Do With Leftover Peeps

 
Marshmallow Peeps are a staple of the Easter Candy Catalog. The only problem is that there’s so much Peep goodness in every box that a normal human being can never finish them all.  Luckily, we’ve discovered an awesome game that combines these classic candy treats with a perfect excuse to drink: Peepface!
 
 
Peeps
Peeps come in a variety of shapes and sizes, and now they’re available for more than just Easter. For the purposes of Peepface, they are divided into two groups based on their size: the standard group is made up of bunnies, chicks, and ghosts (around Halloween). The large-sized Peep group is made up of Christmas trees, black cats (around Halloween), and hearts (around V-Day). Experiment with the different sizes to determine which works best for your Peepface game.
 
Players
Peepface can be played with two to four players at a time. Any more gets too crowded and any less would be realy hard to pull off, because you’d be alone.
 
Distance
The 15 feet of distance is the perfect amount of space between players.  This distance will keep the playing field even, regardless of skill level.
 
Judge/Scorekeeper
While not necessary, we strongly recommend having a judge that looks this good.
 
 
Peepface is a drinking game where you stand 15 feet apart and try to hit your friend in the face with a Marshmallow Peep. The first team to score 31 points LOSES. Each point is equivelant to one drink of an alcoholic beverage of your choosing (hard alcohol not recommended). The goal of Peepface is to accumulate as few points as possible, while forcing your opponent to acrue points by hitting them in the face repeatedly with your sugar-covered marshmallow projectile. Here’s how the scoring works:
 
Each player must wager an amount of points (drinks) before throwing their Peep. A round consists of each player wagering points, then throwing their Peep at their opponent’s face. If you hit your opponent in the face with the Peep, you’ve acheived a "Peepface". Your opponent takes the wagered amount of points and must also take that many drinks. If you miss your opponent’s face, your team takes the points and you take the drinks. Hitting your opponent anywhere other than in the face counts as a miss, and you cannot wager more than 5 points on a single throw (see more rules in the "Advanced Peepface Rules" section below).
 
Here’s how a typical round of Peepface looks:
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 (Note: The Peepface Judge has the final say on any and all controversial calls during gameplay.)
No Whipping
Peepface is, above all else, a gentleman’s game. Because it involves throwing projectiles at your friend’s face, it can easily be ruined by over-zealous players. Keep in mind that the goal is not to bruise your friend’s face with an adorable marshmallow treat, it’s simply to hit him in the face with a Peep and drink heavily while doing so. Therefore, throwing incredibly hard during gameplay is highly frowned upon, with the exception of a rebuttal throw (see below).
 
No Flinching
When your opponent is throwing a Peep at you, you are not allowed to move or flinch under any circumstances. You may close your eyes, but dodging, whether intentional or unintentional, is strictly forbidden regardless of how close the Peep comes to making contact with you.  If you flinch, your opponent gets to re-throw. Flinching is determined by the judge. The judge may issue a "flinch warning" at his/her discretion, but frequent/repeated flinching will result in re-throws.
 
Foot Fault
A pre-determined fault line must be established by the Judge after the 15-pace distance has been determined. Players are not allowed to step over the fault line. Elbows and arms are permitted to cross the line during the throw. The Judge must monitor Foot Faults closely. In the event of a foot fault, all points are nullified and the thrower re-throws the Peep.

Brushbacks, Holdbacks, and Over-the-Tops
The only way to score points in Peepface is to hit your opponent directly in the face. Hitting your opponent in the body, neck, ears, or hair counts as a miss.  Rules have been created for opponents who have long hair or are wearing hats.  At any point in the game, a player can call for a "Brushback". The player’s opponent must brush their hair back to reveal as much of their face as possible, in order to give the thrower a fair shot at a Peepface.
 
 
In cases of extremely long/floppy hair, a player can call for a "Holdback".  The player’s opponent must hold their hair back from their face for the entirety of the throw (be advised: if the Peep bounces off of your opponents arm and hits them in the face while they’re holding their hair back, it will count as a Peepface. This is the consequence for having long hair).
 
 
If a player’s opponent is wearing a hat, the player may ask for an "Over-the-Top" at any point during the game. This requires the player’s opponent to turn their hat around and align it as close to the hairline as possible, in order to give the thrower a fair shot at a Peepface:
 
 
The Max Out
If a player has accrued 26 points or more and their opponent has not yet reached 26 points, the player can choose to "Max Out". A max out means that the player is betting the rest of their available points for one final all-or-nothing throw. The player gets to take one normal-sized step forward for this final throw. If the player scores a Peepface, their opponent accrues the points. If the player misses, the player loses because they’ve wagered the remainder of their points, and the game is over.
 
Rebuttal Throws
This is the only time in Peepface when a player should throw a Peep at their opponent’s face as hard as they can.  Rebuttal throws are rewarded to the losing team (so that nobody really loses in Peepface). Losing players are permitted to throw one Peep at their opponent as hard as they can. If the opponent flinches during a rebuttal throw, the thrower gets to take one step forward and re-throw as hard as they can. You do NOT want to flinch when you’re on the receiving end of a Rebuttal.
 
Have fun, get wasted, and (most importantly) get rid of those damn extra Peeps!

15 Responses to "What To Do With Leftover Peeps"

  1. DonkeyXote says:

    WTF?

    LAME!

  2. Ed says:

    Here’s hoping that this isn’t indicative of where HT is heading. Peepface? Really? Almost makes you miss kittycats and babies. The only ones I can see liking this is Donkey & Phil Jones. They’ll be reminded blasting in each other’s faces

  3. Little Kid says:

    Ed is a fag. Peepface sounds fun.

  4. DonkeyXote says:

    Dwight, shut the fuck up! or at least stick to one nickname, it’s fucking pathetic!

  5. Ann T Christ says:

    I love shoving those lil fuckers up my starfish while singing “how much is that doggy in the window?”

  6. 00kla the M0k says:

    Used to play “You May Not Block This” with pals back in the old days. Consisted of throwing couch pillows as hard as we could at each others faces from about 6 feet without the above mentioned “flinching/dodging.” There was no scoring. There was a serious buzz though as we tended to be blazed. It was an exercise in willpower and endurance. Well … there was sort of a score system: If you actually missed from that range, you got a running tabulation of how many times you were a complete girl.

    >fetches some peeps<

  7. VLO says:

    Ahem… Not even a mention of it’s birthplace or creators.

  8. David Caruso says:

    Looks like the peeps writing for this website…

    (removes sunglasses)

    …have officially gone stale.

    YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

    Seriously, Holy Taco, this fucking blows. And the new guy somehow manages to look like an ever bigger douchebag than Justin.

  9. B-Rad says:

    “…ever bigger douchebag…”

    that douchebag is GROWINGGGGGG!

  10. justin says:
    You’re right. We should’ve had more tired, 3-year old CSI references.
  11. Nikky says:

    I actually pinned a peep to my hair yesterday — hot pink, sugary bunny as an accessory.

  12. Jim Deeno says:

    Wow, that’s incredible. Always wondered what to do with those things LOL

    Lou
    http://www.anonymous-surfing.us.tc

  13. 2010 Tax says:

    I am a fan of microwaving a package of them with hot sauce on top.