Hey, it’s Vince, welcome one and all. The subject of today’s sermon, you’re gonna love this, it’s sin. Look at this, it’s the Bible, it’s like, pages of it, pages of sin, you got your Sodom, your Gomorrah, your lust, your envy, your wrath, a bath, do the math.
Now, you look outside, you see it. It’s everywhere. You got your sin and you got you and what do you do? You hate it. You know you hate the sin, that’s why you’re in the church. Stop living in sin, stop going to hell, it’s that simple.
Listen, we all get tempted, that’s what that movie was about. I saw it, you saw it. God sees everything. He directed it and it’s time for you to get on the casting couch.
Look, what you gotta do, it’s easy. It’s so easy you’ll wonder how you got so far without it. You repent. Ask forgiveness, one, two, three, only there’s only that one and it’s spelled with a capital G, people. The big man, you’re gonna love his forgiveness.
Now I know what you’re thinking, Vince, is it just that easy? I’m here to tell you it is. You’re going to be repenting your troubles away all day. Look over here, here’s Mrs. Bartholomew, she tells me in confession last week she’s fellated like, 60 guys. Like 60 different guys. One Hail Mary, you’re a step closer to Heaven, two Hail Marys, you’re practically looking at the pearly gates.
Look at this, you got Jake Johnson with his mom and dad over here. Jake, Jake masturbates all the time. I mean it, all the time, he’s probably got a hand in his pocket right now. I’m telling you, forgiveness in a second. The more you do it, the more God loves you, you just gotta ask, he’s totally cool like that. But you gotta mean it, too, don’t forget that part.
I love hookers too, one bit my tongue, but at least try to be pious about it. You’re going to change your sinning habits and it’s all right here in the good book. Tramps, heroin, embezzlement, setting fires, there’s something for everyone. You don’t have 5 seconds? Or maybe an evening? 20, 30 Hail Marys you’re done, you’re like a newborn baby, you’re perfect. You’re going to start having a virtuous life.
You can combine things together too, like Dr. Fletcher over here. He cheats on his, wife, he cheats on his taxes, no problem. My congregation comes with the gift of plenary indulgence. You come to me, you make a deal, I wipe the slate clean, just like that.
Listen, I can’t do this all day. Salvation comes for free, but you have to act now.