We’re not here to rub it in your face, but you didn’t win the Mega Millions. We know that because only one guy won it, he’s in New York, rich people don’t read Holy Taco, and you’re not rich (we know that because we’re inside you.) The Mega Millions is a multi-state lottery game with monstrous jackpots. This time around, it was $206-Million, and the winner was a New Yorker. If he takes the cash option, he’ll only walk away with a measly $151.9 Million after taxes. That’s still more money than you will ever see in your entire life. If you are someone, or you know someone with that kind of money, then you shouldn’t be reading this. You should be taking a bath in one-hundred dollar bills and blaming poor people for their own problems.
It’s fun/depressing to think about what one could do with such a huge sum of money. You could feed a nation and change the world, or you could do something hilarious and eccentric…
You could buy 10,126,666 “who farted” t-shirts.
Come on! You could make millions of unfunny uncles laugh their pulling fingers off!
8,438,889 Cans of Tactical Bacon
It’s delicious and it’ll survive the collapse of our society! You would instantly become the world’s number one non-perishable food supplier, which, if the apocalypse came, would make you king of the world. Bacon is power.
358,254 Authentic Chewbacca Costumes
Imagine the hilariously furry flashmob you could start! Screw feeding the children, this would make a seriously viral internet video!
2,516 DeLorian DMC-12′s
We’re going on the current value of what a brand new one of these would’ve cost you in 1981. They sold back then for about $25,000 which is the current equivalent of a little over $60,000. You could buy an entire fleet of these and make a bunch of “Back To The Future” nerds insanely jealous.
52 Islands in Belize
North Coco Plum Island in Belize is for sale. It’s only $2,750,000! You could buy one of them, then throw a party. Or you could use the leftover money to buy a reasonable amount of wookie costumes, DeLoreans and canned bacon, and you could start your own society.