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What Your Halloween Costume Really Said About You

Like it or not, people judged you this weekend based on your Halloween costume.  You probably had a specific message in mind when you chose your attire for the evening, but sometimes the message you’re trying to send out isn’t always the same as the message that people received.  Here’s what your Halloween costume really said about you:
 
Lady Gaga
 
 
What You Thought It Said: Hey, look at me! I’m up-to-date on general pop culture knowledge! I tore the hood off of my eskimo coat and put googly eyes on it all by myself, and I even bought large, stupid sunglasses because that’s how crafty and creative I am. 
 
What It Really Said: I always follow crowds and do whatever is trendy and cool at the moment, so why wouldn’t I wear the most popular costume of 2009?  That’s how I fit in!
 
What People Said About You: "That’s the chubbiest Lady Gaga I’ve seen all night."
 
 
Billy Mays
 
 
What You Thought It Said: I’m down with pop-culture, but I’m not going for the obvious costume.  That would be Michael Jackson, and there are five Michael Jacksons at this Halloween party already.  No, I’m going to be a little more creative than that.  I’m going as the slightly less-obvious celebrity who died in the past 3 months, and who isn’t Patrick Swayze.
 
What It Really Said: I have a beard and a blue shirt.
 
What People Said About You: "Why does the fat Chuck Norris dude keep trying to sell me things from my own kitchen?"
 
 
80′s Movie Reference
 

What You Thought It Said: I’m in my twenties or early thirties, and I’m attempting to appeal to the nostalgia of people my age.  It’s obscure enough to show how intellectual and cultured I am, and it’s sort of a "if you get it, you get it. If you don’t, you don’t"-type costume, but if you don’t get it then I don’t really want to talk to you anyway.

What It Really Said: I need a girlfriend.

What People Said About You: "Who invited the old guy?"
 
 
Slutty Kitten
 

What You Thought It Said: Halloween is the one night of the year where I can dress like a total whore without having people judge me.  Normally I wouldn’t be caught dead in such a skimpy costume, but tonight I’m letting it all hang out. And the best part is that it’s Halloween, so nobody will think I’m a slut!
 
What It Really Said: I’m a slut.

What People Said About You: "That chick is obviously a slut."
 
 
Non-Slutty Witch
 
 
What You Thought It Said: I’m so confident in my appearance that I don’t need to show it off.  Plus, I think it’s disgusting that girls objectify themselves by dressing like a slutty anything on Halloween.  Instead, I’ve chosen to dress as a completely kick-ass, realistic witch.  I’ve got green facepaint, fake moles, a badass hat, and even a little cauldron with dry ice in it.  This is the best witch costume that anyone’s ever seen.
 
What It Really Said: I’m either fat, or my body is completely covered in horrific burn scars that are too disgusting even for Halloween.
 
What People Said About You: "That girl didn’t dress like a slut.  There must be something wrong with her."
 
 
Dressed in Drag 
 
 
What You Thought It Said: I’m comfortable enough with my sexuality to come dressed as a woman.  It’s hilarious! I even took it a step further and wore a thong, shaved my legs and armpits, and I also found a pair of size 12 pumps.  When All the Single Ladies starts to play, I’m going to be the hit of the party. 
 
What It Really Said: I dress like this at home all the time.  This was just an excuse to do it in public without everyone thinking I’m a tranny.
 
What People Said About You: "Fag!"
 
 
No Costume
 
 
What You Thought It Said: I’m way too cool to dress up in a stupid costume.  Halloween is dumb anyway.  It’s just an idiotic excuse for women to objectify themselves by dressing up like sluts, and a lame excuse for dickhead dudes to get some easy laughs by putting on their retard costumes and trying to look like they’re comfortable.  What a dumb holiday.  I’m still going to the party, though.
 
What It Really Said: I’m lazy and/or pretentious, and I have no confidence in my creativity, so instead I decided to act like I didn’t want to wear a costume, even though really I just couldn’t think of a good one.
 
What People Said About You: "That’s a sweet douchebag costume!"
 

23 Responses to "What Your Halloween Costume Really Said About You"

  1. Viktorrrrrr says:

    A Clockwork Orange costume is popular and great for any sex.

  2. JacktheStripper says:

    Ahh damn!! I thought I was being original. There was another guy at the same party dressed as Alex but I did it better.

  3. luda9400 says:

    I’m suprised they didn’t use a Micheal Jackson reference so I would do one for you:

    What you think it says:
    I’m really cool and know hes the greatest pop star of all time, and hes dead so I’m going to be the coolest person at the party by honoring him, and showing off my fantastic moon walking skills I learned how to do from google just after he died.

    What it really says about you:
    I’m really just out to molest your kids, and steal their candy. I also think I’m part black. I’m going to probably reference stupid quotes that have been said 100 times untill you finally tell me to fuck off.

    What people said about you:
    “Look at that douche bag trying to be cool like Micheal Jackson, I can’t wait until he falls over doing his horrible impression of the moon walk, and stay the f*ck away from my kids.”

  4. office jerk says:

    haha. accurate. you need something about people in pirate costumes though. that they are awesome!

  5. Takashi Akashi Takahashi says:

    Agreed, Pirate costumes and Heath Ledger’s Joker costumes.

    Anti-spam read “brownest news” seriously? What the f@#$?

  6. office jerk's boss says:

    office jerk, get your dad’s dick out of your hands and keep typing.

  7. cereal killer says:

    “I have a beard and a blue shirt.”…LOL

  8. alcoLOLic says:

    “Why does the fat Chuck Norris dude keep trying to sell me things from my own kitchen?” …LOL

    see? i can do it too.

  9. MrKillson says:

    Glad to see I wasn’t in the list: PIRATE NINJA!

  10. alcoLOLic says:

    cory, let me have a try at this one…

    What you thought it said about you: I read the internet! I know that the coolest things out there are pirates and ninjas. And I am going to be the first one ever to do the unthinkable- combine pirates and ninjas!

    What it really said: You forward joke emails from 2003 to everyone you know. Last Halloween you were Mr. T crossed with Chuck Norris.

    What People Said: What are you doing here? Didn’t we lock you in a dumpster?

  11. Fuck yoo says:

    Why are you such a dick?

  12. Internet douche says:

    Alcoholic is right, you’re a piece of shit and have no humour of your own.

  13. werewolves are better than vampires says:

    lady gaga might be too scary of a costume

  14. Anonymousss says:

    yea, but her “sparkling boobs” costume was a good one. It says “Warning: keep away from me and my tatas”

  15. ribbed says:

    how about lady ga ga on a dude and he extenuated the bulge?

  16. Greg says:

    I was a gay farmer for Halloween… I mean jolly rancher.

  17. fourteenlines says:

    No. You weren’t. You just heard that ‘joke’ somewhere and were looking for a place to pawn it off as your own.

  18. Jack says:

    yeah, fuck you greg,what kind of name is greg anyways.

  19. Steve says:

    I was Rowdy Roddy Piper so I guess that kinda puts me in the “80′s movie reference” category. I saw 2 others dressed the same as well.

  20. pratik says:

    I saw four dudes dressed as the Ninja Turtles break dancing on the corner downtown. It was epic.

  21. Harry Clark says:

    yeah that sounds pretty sweet

  22. luda9400 says:

    Did you ask them where the acid was?

  23. The RZA says:

    The greatest costume ever is to go as the Ghost Face Killah. Thinka bout it. . . He’s a Ghost and a Killah. Plus as I have mentioned on this site, and many albums, repeatedly, bitchez will recognize!!!!!