Like it or not, people judged you this weekend based on your Halloween costume. You probably had a specific message in mind when you chose your attire for the evening, but sometimes the message you’re trying to send out isn’t always the same as the message that people received. Here’s what your Halloween costume really said about you:
What You Thought It Said: Hey, look at me! I’m up-to-date on general pop culture knowledge! I tore the hood off of my eskimo coat and put googly eyes on it all by myself, and I even bought large, stupid sunglasses because that’s how crafty and creative I am.
What It Really Said: I always follow crowds and do whatever is trendy and cool at the moment, so why wouldn’t I wear the most popular costume of 2009? That’s how I fit in!
What People Said About You: "That’s the chubbiest Lady Gaga I’ve seen all night."
What You Thought It Said: I’m down with pop-culture, but I’m not going for the obvious costume. That would be Michael Jackson, and there are five Michael Jacksons at this Halloween party already. No, I’m going to be a little more creative than that. I’m going as the slightly less-obvious celebrity who died in the past 3 months, and who isn’t Patrick Swayze.
What It Really Said: I have a beard and a blue shirt.
What People Said About You: "Why does the fat Chuck Norris dude keep trying to sell me things from my own kitchen?"
80′s Movie Reference
What You Thought It Said: I’m in my twenties or early thirties, and I’m attempting to appeal to the nostalgia of people my age. It’s obscure enough to show how intellectual and cultured I am, and it’s sort of a "if you get it, you get it. If you don’t, you don’t"-type costume, but if you don’t get it then I don’t really want to talk to you anyway.
What It Really Said: I need a girlfriend.
What People Said About You: "Who invited the old guy?"
What You Thought It Said: Halloween is the one night of the year where I can dress like a total whore without having people judge me. Normally I wouldn’t be caught dead in such a skimpy costume, but tonight I’m letting it all hang out. And the best part is that it’s Halloween, so nobody will think I’m a slut!
What It Really Said: I’m a slut.
What People Said About You: "That chick is obviously a slut."
What You Thought It Said: I’m so confident in my appearance that I don’t need to show it off. Plus, I think it’s disgusting that girls objectify themselves by dressing like a slutty anything on Halloween. Instead, I’ve chosen to dress as a completely kick-ass, realistic witch. I’ve got green facepaint, fake moles, a badass hat, and even a little cauldron with dry ice in it. This is the best witch costume that anyone’s ever seen.
What It Really Said: I’m either fat, or my body is completely covered in horrific burn scars that are too disgusting even for Halloween.
What People Said About You: "That girl didn’t dress like a slut. There must be something wrong with her."
Dressed in Drag
What You Thought It Said: I’m comfortable enough with my sexuality to come dressed as a woman. It’s hilarious! I even took it a step further and wore a thong, shaved my legs and armpits, and I also found a pair of size 12 pumps. When All the Single Ladies starts to play, I’m going to be the hit of the party.
What It Really Said: I dress like this at home all the time. This was just an excuse to do it in public without everyone thinking I’m a tranny.
What People Said About You: "Fag!"
What You Thought It Said: I’m way too cool to dress up in a stupid costume. Halloween is dumb anyway. It’s just an idiotic excuse for women to objectify themselves by dressing up like sluts, and a lame excuse for dickhead dudes to get some easy laughs by putting on their retard costumes and trying to look like they’re comfortable. What a dumb holiday. I’m still going to the party, though.
What It Really Said: I’m lazy and/or pretentious, and I have no confidence in my creativity, so instead I decided to act like I didn’t want to wear a costume, even though really I just couldn’t think of a good one.
What People Said About You: "That’s a sweet douchebag costume!"