For some reason, at some point while you’re dating someone, one of you says “You know what would be fun, if we took naked pictures of each other.” For ladies, this makes no sense to have a naked picture of your boyfriend or husband. I maintain that a man’s penis looks like something that pops out from behind a trash can in a Jim Henson film, and starts singing a song about a rainy day or something.
The male body is not attractive. And here’s what you ladies don’t know, about us men. 99 % of the time, we don’t take naked pictures of you so that we can look at them later when we jerk off. We take naked pictures of you so that we can tell our friends, “I took some naked pictures of my girlfriend.” It’s like having a college diploma: everybody just wants to say they have one, but rarely does anyone use it for anything.
But what people don’t understand is, when you let someone take a naked picture of you, you’re saying to that person “I am of the belief that we will never break up for the rest of eternity. This is a fact I’m certain of.” Yes, that’s right, that’s what you’re saying, because if that wasn’t what you were saying, you definitely wouldn’t let someone own a f*&king picture of you bent over a worn sofa, with your vagina winking to the camera, or a shot of you holding your penis as if it were a thirsty horse being led to water.
For, I have shocking news for you folks, usually when people “break up,” then not on the best terms with one another. And when someone is angry with you, well, there mind goes to “how can I piss off this person. Oh wait, I have a picture of them poking their vagina with a feather duster. Niiiiiice.”
So, therefore, there are absolutely zero pros to letting someone take a naked picture of you, and about a million cons. Yet, every day, across the world, the sound of “click” is heard, followed by “Okay, now bend over and pretend like you’re f*&king that arm chair.” Just realize, if you say “okay” that a year later there’s a good chance some asshole is going to find that picture and post it on his shitty website.
i suppose an 8th grade diploma is not required to write for holy taco, either...
also, this isn't a fucking 10 page term paper; two spaces after each period is not going to make it look like you have more [slightly] interesting shit to say.
JESUS H!! What the hell's the matter with you?? Just because YOU can't get any naked pics of girls doesn't mean you should ruin it for the rest of us!!
I got naked pics of my ex cheating whore ex gf...also got a video still contemplating whether or not to send it to her frieends and family or just put it on the internet
Ah this is so very true. When the ex husband and I spilt I took all the nice (it's okay honey that turns me on) pictures of him and sent them to his work,mother,friends and family.
I was smart I kept the pictures safe so he had none of me. I've never felt bad about it.
(36 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
March 31st, 2009 at 06:00 pm
Not true. i jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.
March 31st, 2009 at 06:01 pm
Not true. I jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.
March 31st, 2009 at 06:04 pm
Not true. I jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.
March 31st, 2009 at 06:16 pm
A Phd in philosophy is very practical in the real world...you can use the diploma as toilet paper when you're living on the street...
March 31st, 2009 at 06:35 pm
Not true. I jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.
March 31st, 2009 at 06:36 pm
dammit
March 31st, 2009 at 06:38 pm
i suppose an 8th grade diploma is not required to write for holy taco, either...
also, this isn't a fucking 10 page term paper; two spaces after each period is not going to make it look like you have more [slightly] interesting shit to say.
March 31st, 2009 at 07:24 pm
says the guy who probably comes on the website everyday and probably reads every article
March 31st, 2009 at 10:45 pm
says the guy who probably comes on the website everyday and probably looks at all the pictures.
March 31st, 2009 at 10:59 pm
says the guy who probably comes on the website everyday and probably looks at all the pictures.
March 31st, 2009 at 11:32 pm
says the guy who probably cums on this website
April 1st, 2009 at 09:37 am
^Awesome
April 1st, 2009 at 05:51 pm
Who the fuck gets a diploma in 8th grade?
March 31st, 2009 at 07:42 pm
They had a ton of these in FOUND magazine's x rated version or dirty found...but I think they went out of business
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
March 31st, 2009 at 07:43 pm
Not true. i jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.
March 31st, 2009 at 07:43 pm
not true, i jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.
March 31st, 2009 at 07:44 pm
Great, guess I'll never get a chance to get a pic of my gf now..
March 31st, 2009 at 08:10 pm
Not true. I jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.
March 31st, 2009 at 08:31 pm
SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU'RE KILLING THE GOOSE THAT LAID THE GOLDEN EGG!
Sickpigs.com
http://sickpigs.com
March 31st, 2009 at 08:43 pm
not true. i jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.
March 31st, 2009 at 08:44 pm
I've posted all of my pics of my ex girlfriends online. search ex girlfriend blog on google, first result
March 31st, 2009 at 09:06 pm
^ repeat pete and i'd tap that chick in the white shirt.
April 1st, 2009 at 12:08 am
Yup. You totally would. $5 says it'll happen by next Tuesday.
March 31st, 2009 at 09:35 pm
Fuck you you dumbass, why the fuck would to post this to ruin it for the rest of us?
you must be a gay.
March 31st, 2009 at 09:51 pm
not true. i jerk off to pictures of you guys all the time.
March 31st, 2009 at 10:51 pm
JESUS H!! What the hell's the matter with you?? Just because YOU can't get any naked pics of girls doesn't mean you should ruin it for the rest of us!!
March 31st, 2009 at 11:13 pm
I got naked pics of my ex cheating whore ex gf...also got a video still contemplating whether or not to send it to her frieends and family or just put it on the internet
April 2nd, 2009 at 09:01 am
Pics or GTFO!
April 1st, 2009 at 12:00 am
haha, you guys keep coming up with some funny shit. Keep it up!
April 1st, 2009 at 05:17 am
Ah this is so very true. When the ex husband and I spilt I took all the nice (it's okay honey that turns me on) pictures of him and sent them to his work,mother,friends and family.
I was smart I kept the pictures safe so he had none of me. I've never felt bad about it.
April 1st, 2009 at 05:59 am
so... just because you split they automatically get sent everywhere huh... what a bitch :-D.. shit least if he did something that merited it... damn.
April 1st, 2009 at 10:55 am
I'm sure she's real happy her face is all over holytaco.com now.
April 1st, 2009 at 04:16 pm
Anybody else think her ass looks retarded?
April 2nd, 2009 at 08:13 pm
Not true. I jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.
April 8th, 2009 at 02:06 am
italian uh? xD
April 8th, 2009 at 02:27 pm
Not true. i jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.
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