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Why Did You Think It Would Be A Good Idea To Let Someone Take A Naked Picture Of You?

 
For some reason, at some point while you’re dating someone, one of you says “You know what would be fun, if we took naked pictures of each other.”  For ladies, this makes no sense to have a naked picture of your boyfriend or husband.  I maintain that a man’s penis looks like something that pops out from behind a trash can in a Jim Henson film, and starts singing a song about a rainy day or something. 
 
 
The male body is not attractive.  And here’s what you ladies don’t know, about us men.  99 % of the time, we don’t take naked pictures of you so that we can look at them later when we jerk off.  We take naked pictures of you so that we can tell our friends, “I took some naked pictures of my girlfriend.”  It’s like having a college diploma: everybody just wants to say they have one, but rarely does anyone use it for anything. 
 
 

 
But what people don’t understand is, when you let someone take a naked picture of you, you’re saying to that person “I am of the belief that we will never break up for the rest of eternity.  This is a fact I’m certain of.”  Yes, that’s right, that’s what you’re saying, because if that wasn’t what you were saying, you definitely wouldn’t let someone own a f*&king picture of you bent over a worn sofa, with your vagina winking to the camera, or a shot of you holding your penis as if it were a thirsty horse being led to water. 
 
 
For, I have shocking news for you folks, usually when people “break up,” then not on the best terms with one another.  And when someone is angry with you, well, there mind goes to “how can I piss off this person.  Oh wait, I have a picture of them poking their vagina with a feather duster.  Niiiiiice.” 
 
 
So, therefore, there are absolutely zero pros to letting someone take a naked picture of you, and about a million cons.  Yet, every day, across the world, the sound of “click” is heard, followed by “Okay, now bend over and pretend like you’re f*&king that arm chair.”  Just realize, if you say “okay” that a year later there’s a good chance some asshole is going to find that picture and post it on his shitty website.

36 Responses to "Why Did You Think It Would Be A Good Idea To Let Someone Take A Naked Picture Of You?"

  1. Pratik says:

    Yup. You totally would. $5 says it’ll happen by next Tuesday.

  2. Anonymous says:

    haha, you guys keep coming up with some funny shit. Keep it up!

  3. T BONE says:

    not true. i jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.

  4. Anonymous says:

    I’ve posted all of my pics of my ex girlfriends online. search ex girlfriend blog on google, first result

  5. jemis says:

    ^ repeat pete and i’d tap that chick in the white shirt.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Fuck you you dumbass, why the fuck would to post this to ruin it for the rest of us?

    you must be a gay.

  7. Bill says:

    Not true. I jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.

  8. Do it! says:

    Pics or GTFO!

  9. Sickpigs.com says:

    SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU’RE KILLING THE GOOSE THAT LAID THE GOLDEN EGG!

    Sickpigs.com
    http://sickpigs.com

  10. Amber says:

    Ah this is so very true. When the ex husband and I spilt I took all the nice (it’s okay honey that turns me on) pictures of him and sent them to his work,mother,friends and family.
    I was smart I kept the pictures safe so he had none of me. I’ve never felt bad about it.

  11. Jesus says:

    Not true. i jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.

  12. anon ftw says:

    not true, i jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.

  13. Paul says:

    Great, guess I’ll never get a chance to get a pic of my gf now..

  14. masuka says:

    italian uh? xD

  15. Anonymous says:

    I’m sure she’s real happy her face is all over holytaco.com now.

  16. Anonymous says:

    so… just because you split they automatically get sent everywhere huh… what a bitch :-D .. shit least if he did something that merited it… damn.

  17. Pissed off Ex says:

    I got naked pics of my ex cheating whore ex gf…also got a video still contemplating whether or not to send it to her frieends and family or just put it on the internet

  18. RoboPanda says:

    not true. i jerk off to pictures of you guys all the time.

  19. Anonymous says:

    Anybody else think her ass looks retarded?

  20. vaffanculo says:

    Not true. I jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.

  21. Anonymous says:

    JESUS H!! What the hell’s the matter with you?? Just because YOU can’t get any naked pics of girls doesn’t mean you should ruin it for the rest of us!!

  22. uglysexy says:

    They had a ton of these in FOUND magazine’s x rated version or dirty found…but I think they went out of business

    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/

  23. anon ftw says:

    Not true. i jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.

  24. Anonymous says:

    says the guy who probably cums on this website

  25. Anonymous says:

    Who the fuck gets a diploma in 8th grade?

  26. Gersch says:

    says the guy who probably comes on the website everyday and probably looks at all the pictures.

  27. Anonymous says:

    says the guy who probably comes on the website everyday and probably looks at all the pictures.

  28. C. Norris says:

    ^Awesome

  29. FUCKIN NINJA says:

    Not true. I jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.

  30. Josh says:

    Not true. I jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.

  31. Jablowme says:

    Not true. I jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.

  32. mac says:

    says the guy who probably comes on the website everyday and probably reads every article

  33. himself says:

    i suppose an 8th grade diploma is not required to write for holy taco, either…

    also, this isn’t a fucking 10 page term paper; two spaces after each period is not going to make it look like you have more [slightly] interesting shit to say.

  34. Jablowme says:

    dammit

  35. Morty says:

    A Phd in philosophy is very practical in the real world…you can use the diploma as toilet paper when you’re living on the street…

  36. Anonymous says:

    Not true. i jerk off to pictures of myself all the time.