For some reason, at some point while you’re dating someone, one of you says “You know what would be fun, if we took naked pictures of each other.” For ladies, this makes no sense to have a naked picture of your boyfriend or husband. I maintain that a man’s penis looks like something that pops out from behind a trash can in a Jim Henson film, and starts singing a song about a rainy day or something.
The male body is not attractive. And here’s what you ladies don’t know, about us men. 99 % of the time, we don’t take naked pictures of you so that we can look at them later when we jerk off. We take naked pictures of you so that we can tell our friends, “I took some naked pictures of my girlfriend.” It’s like having a college diploma: everybody just wants to say they have one, but rarely does anyone use it for anything.
But what people don’t understand is, when you let someone take a naked picture of you, you’re saying to that person “I am of the belief that we will never break up for the rest of eternity. This is a fact I’m certain of.” Yes, that’s right, that’s what you’re saying, because if that wasn’t what you were saying, you definitely wouldn’t let someone own a f*&king picture of you bent over a worn sofa, with your vagina winking to the camera, or a shot of you holding your penis as if it were a thirsty horse being led to water.
For, I have shocking news for you folks, usually when people “break up,” then not on the best terms with one another. And when someone is angry with you, well, there mind goes to “how can I piss off this person. Oh wait, I have a picture of them poking their vagina with a feather duster. Niiiiiice.”
So, therefore, there are absolutely zero pros to letting someone take a naked picture of you, and about a million cons. Yet, every day, across the world, the sound of “click” is heard, followed by “Okay, now bend over and pretend like you’re f*&king that arm chair.” Just realize, if you say “okay” that a year later there’s a good chance some asshole is going to find that picture and post it on his shitty website.