I've had a ton of shitty jobs. And during the course of doing all those shitty jobs, I've compiled quite a few stories. The other day I decided to share one of those stories with my co-workers, and when I was finished, they looked at me disgusted for a few moments, and one of them said "That's messed up, dude. The world needs to know that."
When I was 19, a Hooters opened up two blocks from where I lived. My roommate and I needed a job, and also had penises, so we decided to apply as cooks there. It was basically us, and 8 hispanic guys that didn't speak a word of english, or have any clue what Hooters was. I know this because during our orientation, which was the ten of us and 75 girls, one of them leaned over to me and asked, "Why there is much pussy?" When I explained best I could that that was the theme of the restaurant, he turned to the other seven dudes, translated it into Spanish, and then collectively they all went, "Aaaah." Then there was silence for a second and then one of them went "estabien guey!" and they started high-fiving each other.
Anyway, about a few months into it, I realized that it wasn't that awesome of a job. Hooters is a lot like a Michael Bay movie. It's loud, everybody in it is stupid and you spend most of your time hoping you're going to see someone's titties...but you never do.
My job was to work the fryer. Basically I'd go get wings from the walk-in fridge, take them out front, batter them, flour them, then dump them in the fryer.
You may say this job was so easy a retarded person could do it. You have no idea how right you are, because the other "fryer" guy that worked alongside me had been hit by a car a few years before and was dropped off at our work by a special bus each day.
So one day I pull the wings out, and they're green and nasty, and smelled like a homeless dude that had (for some reason) rolled around in paprika. Sort of spicy and sour. So I go to throw them away and all of a sudden I hear, "WHOAAAA Buuuuuddddy. Watcha doin' J?" I turn around and it was my manager, who was actually a really good guy, but a stickler about food costs. So I go, "The wings are rotten," then I make the homeless comparison I just made to you, to him, and he goes, "Let me show you a little something I learned in trenches." He grabs a white bucket, like this one:
And he fills it with water, about half way. Then he dumps the rotten wings into the water. Then he looks at me and he goes, "Here's the magic." He grabs a bottle of bleach from the supply closet, and he pours a cap full of it, and dumps that cap into the water, with the wings. Then he grabs a wooden spoon and he stirs the wings, like a witch stirring a secret spell. Then he looks at me and goes "The bleach kills the smell, and then the fryer kills everything else." Then he went to the front, battered, fried, and served those wings.
I have never been to Hooters and I was about to go this weekend to try the wings since everyone at work claim that they are the best. Makes me wonder if they are talking about how good the wings are or the breasts.
hooters wings are shiite! down herr in tejas we have Buffalo Wild Wings! which usually employs hot young coeds! i managed to "befriend" a couple... but the Point is... great wings!
This story is 101% true. I was one of the managers of the hooters this kid worked for. I also rememebering you never hooking up any chicks. I remembering you telling us you masterbated a lot.
I'm sure you befriended some hot young co-eds in Texas, Hussien. right after they yelled "TERRORIST" and shot you.(everyone has guns here). Buffalo Wild Wings is the tits though. Mango Habanero sauce, mmmmmmm.
I tried the capful of bleach once....my wife screamed like hell when I quirted it on her cootch, but at least the stank was gone! My gums still burn a bit, but, meh.
You've done a great service by publishing this story. I wish I could say it's going to deter me from ever eating wings at Hooters again, but then again, I live in LA. Going to a Hooters out here is like going to an Olive Garden in Italy. Just doesn't make sense.
While I'm not the same anon who posted L.A. sucks, I'd like to throw my 2 cents in.
The city itself, doesn't suck.
The location doesn't suck.
What does make it suck are the egotistical residents that think they are owed something because they live in that city.
The fact that they are shallow, materialistic and totally unable to understand anything that doesn't involve them.
The fact that the majority of the population uses the expression "I'm from L.A." like it will make ladies cream their knickers and men wet themselves.
The fact that the assholes who are so stuck on what area code you live in that they'll buy cell phones in the O.C. to get chicks.
Or the retards that thrive on the "L.A. Lifestyle" and paying $600,000 for a house that's $75k in other markets.
Oh, and the fact that most of the people in L.A. that say "Hey, I'm from L.A." are batshit crazy.
Just because you live in L.A. doesn't mean you're owed anything. It doesn't mean that you're special. If you think it does, you need a punch to the baby maker.
Hooters waitresses are a lot like Oakland Raider cheerleaders. They're prety hot from far away, but when you see them up close, they're usually pretty beat up and have high mileage and some are a little doughy.
Ugh, unfortunately practices like this aren't just at Hooters, they are at many restaurants that many of you have eaten in. I personally never want to know what the nastiest thing I've ever been served in a restaurant, but I know it was something bad just from the odds of it happening. My girlfriend was a waitress and alot of my friends in high school and college. This is nasty as hell but still not the worst thing I've heard happening. You don't want something like this happening to you? Don't go out to eat in restaurants, doesn't matter if its Hooters or not. I'm talking 5 star restaurants too, they are all the same, they just charge different prices for different clientel.
That's exactly how my dad cooked a two pound slab of pork loin that he bought on sale the day it expired and kept in the fridge for a month. He only resorted to the diluted bleach after the hydrogen peroxide didn't kill the smell.
I find it unbelievable that any restaurant can fuck up something as simple as wings.
1. Put wings in fryer, wait till cooked.
2. Take wings out of fryer and toss in large metal bowl with sauce of choice.
3. Serve wings with blue cheese, celery, and carrots.
How so many places can screw this up is beyond me.
Oh hey man, didn't you know that real Buffalo wings are battered? Oh yeah everytime I buy them from bars and pizzerias in WNY they are battered. Its just like when I worked in Michigan and was told what a Buffalo wing is and how to cook them. I couldn't help but laugh while telling them I'm actually from the city of Buffalo not the Wild Wings in Lansing or when they asked why I was putting Franks on the wings instead of their buffalo sauce. Damn bastards and their bastardization of the chicken wing. People who bread chiken wings should shoot themselves.
They don't batter/bread the wings in Buffalo, asshole.
Any place that does batter them, is a chain restaurant out of another area.
I've lived in Buffalo for over 35 years and have had wings from all different kinds of restaurants. So kindly know what you're talking about before you start talking out of your ass, you dumb cunt.
Dude, it's my same problem with nachos. The damn chains have everyone believing that nachos are a plate of chips with piles of meat, cheese, and every other piece o'crap thrown on it for good measure. I grew up in Texas and even there it's hard to find a place to take the time to make real nachos anymore. And proper nachos are a labor intensive thing. Not scoops of this and that thrown under a broiler. Buffalo wings aren't what they used to be in the restaurant biz either. /RANT/RANT/RANT/
hey yeah.. "everyone has guns here". right lemme go get on my horse, ride on down the pasture to the ranch, proceed to dismount and enter my homestead, take off my spurs, boots, and straw hat, look up my gran pappy's ole' chilli reciepe, and serve you up a bowl of GO FUCK YOURSELF. now if you excuse me and ole W have another "war" on terror to plan. CockBite
I heard Thuman's teaches the bleach trick to deli and pizzeria owners. Think about that the next time you eat a chicken parm sandwich from your favorite place.
A buddy of mine that worked at a Long John Silvers liked to jizz into the fryers. Of coarse, this is the same guy that jerked off a dog because it looked sad.
sum ting wong, tell her to wash that thang, damn, soap and water baby, and respectfully, Holy Taco, give that man a damn t-shirt, too funny, just say'in
(168 Comments)
Twitter
Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
February 11th, 2009 at 03:38 pm
Dude ... swear that this is true?
I have never been to Hooters and I was about to go this weekend to try the wings since everyone at work claim that they are the best. Makes me wonder if they are talking about how good the wings are or the breasts.
I guess I'm not going there :(
February 11th, 2009 at 03:49 pm
So what you are saying is I should use a cap full of bleach when I make wings at home.
February 11th, 2009 at 03:44 pm
bullshit story, have a cousin that works there and he says they are really careful with food. I don't know what kind of ghetto hooters you worked for.
February 11th, 2009 at 06:43 pm
Where's the non-ghetto hooters?
February 11th, 2009 at 06:44 pm
Probably mission valley. That Hooters is alright when SDSU is in class, but it sucks ass during the summer.
February 11th, 2009 at 03:46 pm
This blog post is like a Michael Bay film.....
........everybody in it is stupid and you spend most of your time hoping you're going to see someone's titties...but you never do.
...If you are going to reference Hooters...then show HOOTERS.
P.S. good story, but seriously more Hooters girls in low-cut tops.
P.S.S. Seriously
August 13th, 2009 at 01:12 am
And people like you wonder why no girl will let you stick their c%$# in her.
February 11th, 2009 at 03:51 pm
Hooters wings suck no matter if they are fresh or rotten.
February 11th, 2009 at 04:05 pm
Hooters wings suck. If you want good buffalo wings to Hot Wings.
February 11th, 2009 at 04:07 pm
hooters wings are shiite! down herr in tejas we have Buffalo Wild Wings! which usually employs hot young coeds! i managed to "befriend" a couple... but the Point is... great wings!
February 11th, 2009 at 04:19 pm
This story is 101% true. I was one of the managers of the hooters this kid worked for. I also rememebering you never hooking up any chicks. I remembering you telling us you masterbated a lot.
February 11th, 2009 at 04:18 pm
Holy shit, i'm pretty sure this is my manager.
February 11th, 2009 at 04:08 pm
Whatever...fuck it. I'm sure we've all had worse and never been the wiser.
February 11th, 2009 at 04:11 pm
Pluckers > Hooters
and i think bleach is good for you anyway.
February 11th, 2009 at 04:09 pm
I'm sure you befriended some hot young co-eds in Texas, Hussien. right after they yelled "TERRORIST" and shot you.(everyone has guns here). Buffalo Wild Wings is the tits though. Mango Habanero sauce, mmmmmmm.
February 11th, 2009 at 04:38 pm
as long as they don't bleach the beer...don't eat the wings and it's game on.
February 11th, 2009 at 05:44 pm
I tried the capful of bleach once....my wife screamed like hell when I quirted it on her cootch, but at least the stank was gone! My gums still burn a bit, but, meh.
February 11th, 2009 at 05:49 pm
You've done a great service by publishing this story. I wish I could say it's going to deter me from ever eating wings at Hooters again, but then again, I live in LA. Going to a Hooters out here is like going to an Olive Garden in Italy. Just doesn't make sense.
February 12th, 2009 at 07:06 am
LA sucks.
February 25th, 2009 at 06:55 am
The place? The people? The actual dirt it rests on?
Be more specific, fuckwad
February 25th, 2009 at 08:07 am
While I'm not the same anon who posted L.A. sucks, I'd like to throw my 2 cents in.
The city itself, doesn't suck.
The location doesn't suck.
What does make it suck are the egotistical residents that think they are owed something because they live in that city.
The fact that they are shallow, materialistic and totally unable to understand anything that doesn't involve them.
The fact that the majority of the population uses the expression "I'm from L.A." like it will make ladies cream their knickers and men wet themselves.
The fact that the assholes who are so stuck on what area code you live in that they'll buy cell phones in the O.C. to get chicks.
Or the retards that thrive on the "L.A. Lifestyle" and paying $600,000 for a house that's $75k in other markets.
Oh, and the fact that most of the people in L.A. that say "Hey, I'm from L.A." are batshit crazy.
Just because you live in L.A. doesn't mean you're owed anything. It doesn't mean that you're special. If you think it does, you need a punch to the baby maker.
August 1st, 2009 at 08:26 am
Was that LA the city or LA as in Louisiana? I thought they were referring to the latter...
August 1st, 2009 at 08:28 am
It is LA the city...as in boobs...
February 11th, 2009 at 05:44 pm
I've been to Hooters and had their wings before. Nothing special, not too bad. Don't eat too many or you'll blow a hole in your colon.
February 11th, 2009 at 06:46 pm
Hooters waitresses are a lot like Oakland Raider cheerleaders. They're prety hot from far away, but when you see them up close, they're usually pretty beat up and have high mileage and some are a little doughy.
February 11th, 2009 at 06:55 pm
I know someone that worked at a tyson chicken processing plant.
Their rules:
Green - goes through
Slimy - goes through
Green and slimy - dumpster.
She refuses to each ANY chicken.
February 24th, 2009 at 06:36 pm
not true, USDA would shut it down
February 25th, 2009 at 06:52 am
it is true, I just read it on the internet
February 11th, 2009 at 07:06 pm
Hooters?... They're okay, but I'd rather go to Chili's...
February 11th, 2009 at 07:30 pm
Check out the Hooter waitresses in Jersey... I went in one and 2 of them were pregnant...
"Jersey girls ain't trash - trash gets picked up"
February 11th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Nobody goes to Hooter for the wings anyway.
February 16th, 2009 at 08:09 am
Like reading playboy for the articles, right?
February 12th, 2009 at 02:46 am
Just go to Hooters, order a beer, and watch the game while eyeing the waitresses during commercials.
February 12th, 2009 at 05:37 am
Ugh, unfortunately practices like this aren't just at Hooters, they are at many restaurants that many of you have eaten in. I personally never want to know what the nastiest thing I've ever been served in a restaurant, but I know it was something bad just from the odds of it happening. My girlfriend was a waitress and alot of my friends in high school and college. This is nasty as hell but still not the worst thing I've heard happening. You don't want something like this happening to you? Don't go out to eat in restaurants, doesn't matter if its Hooters or not. I'm talking 5 star restaurants too, they are all the same, they just charge different prices for different clientel.
February 12th, 2009 at 05:54 am
That's exactly how my dad cooked a two pound slab of pork loin that he bought on sale the day it expired and kept in the fridge for a month. He only resorted to the diluted bleach after the hydrogen peroxide didn't kill the smell.
February 12th, 2009 at 07:11 am
Why were the wings battered?
I find it unbelievable that any restaurant can fuck up something as simple as wings.
1. Put wings in fryer, wait till cooked.
2. Take wings out of fryer and toss in large metal bowl with sauce of choice.
3. Serve wings with blue cheese, celery, and carrots.
How so many places can screw this up is beyond me.
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:59 pm
Oh hey man, didn't you know that real Buffalo wings are battered? Oh yeah everytime I buy them from bars and pizzerias in WNY they are battered. Its just like when I worked in Michigan and was told what a Buffalo wing is and how to cook them. I couldn't help but laugh while telling them I'm actually from the city of Buffalo not the Wild Wings in Lansing or when they asked why I was putting Franks on the wings instead of their buffalo sauce. Damn bastards and their bastardization of the chicken wing. People who bread chiken wings should shoot themselves.
February 24th, 2009 at 06:19 pm
They don't batter/bread the wings in Buffalo, asshole.
Any place that does batter them, is a chain restaurant out of another area.
I've lived in Buffalo for over 35 years and have had wings from all different kinds of restaurants. So kindly know what you're talking about before you start talking out of your ass, you dumb cunt.
February 24th, 2009 at 07:25 pm
Dude, it's my same problem with nachos. The damn chains have everyone believing that nachos are a plate of chips with piles of meat, cheese, and every other piece o'crap thrown on it for good measure. I grew up in Texas and even there it's hard to find a place to take the time to make real nachos anymore. And proper nachos are a labor intensive thing. Not scoops of this and that thrown under a broiler. Buffalo wings aren't what they used to be in the restaurant biz either. /RANT/RANT/RANT/
February 12th, 2009 at 07:40 am
hey yeah.. "everyone has guns here". right lemme go get on my horse, ride on down the pasture to the ranch, proceed to dismount and enter my homestead, take off my spurs, boots, and straw hat, look up my gran pappy's ole' chilli reciepe, and serve you up a bowl of GO FUCK YOURSELF. now if you excuse me and ole W have another "war" on terror to plan. CockBite
February 12th, 2009 at 07:58 am
I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Damn, the things men will do to see boobies.
Stay home and watch porn. It's healthier and often free!
February 12th, 2009 at 10:03 am
Show us your tits
February 12th, 2009 at 01:43 pm
PIMMAL=Puked In MY Mouth A Little. Next time just say "I pimmal'd there" or just "pimmal" And show us your boobies.
February 12th, 2009 at 08:05 am
Have yet to have Hooters wings where they don't give me the shits. I swear, Hooters = smelly mess = nobody likes you.
February 12th, 2009 at 01:48 pm
I heard Thuman's teaches the bleach trick to deli and pizzeria owners. Think about that the next time you eat a chicken parm sandwich from your favorite place.
February 12th, 2009 at 02:04 pm
A buddy of mine that worked at a Long John Silvers liked to jizz into the fryers. Of coarse, this is the same guy that jerked off a dog because it looked sad.
February 13th, 2009 at 03:03 pm
hahaha! sad dog ftw
February 12th, 2009 at 07:19 pm
Maybe if the bitches there stuck'em up their cunts, then Id go to town on'em
February 12th, 2009 at 08:57 pm
sum ting wong, tell her to wash that thang, damn, soap and water baby, and respectfully, Holy Taco, give that man a damn t-shirt, too funny, just say'in
February 13th, 2009 at 10:49 am
I'd rather go to Chilli's too, LOL!
Post new comment