I've had a ton of shitty jobs. And during the course of doing all those shitty jobs, I've compiled quite a few stories. The other day I decided to share one of those stories with my co-workers, and when I was finished, they looked at me disgusted for a few moments, and one of them said "That's messed up, dude. The world needs to know that."
When I was 19, a Hooters opened up two blocks from where I lived. My roommate and I needed a job, and also had penises, so we decided to apply as cooks there. It was basically us, and 8 hispanic guys that didn't speak a word of english, or have any clue what Hooters was. I know this because during our orientation, which was the ten of us and 75 girls, one of them leaned over to me and asked, "Why there is much pussy?" When I explained best I could that that was the theme of the restaurant, he turned to the other seven dudes, translated it into Spanish, and then collectively they all went, "Aaaah." Then there was silence for a second and then one of them went "estabien guey!" and they started high-fiving each other.
Anyway, about a few months into it, I realized that it wasn't that awesome of a job. Hooters is a lot like a Michael Bay movie. It's loud, everybody in it is stupid and you spend most of your time hoping you're going to see someone's titties...but you never do.
My job was to work the fryer. Basically I'd go get wings from the walk-in fridge, take them out front, batter them, flour them, then dump them in the fryer.
You may say this job was so easy a retarded person could do it. You have no idea how right you are, because the other "fryer" guy that worked alongside me had been hit by a car a few years before and was dropped off at our work by a special bus each day.
So one day I pull the wings out, and they're green and nasty, and smelled like a homeless dude that had (for some reason) rolled around in paprika. Sort of spicy and sour. So I go to throw them away and all of a sudden I hear, "WHOAAAA Buuuuuddddy. Watcha doin' J?" I turn around and it was my manager, who was actually a really good guy, but a stickler about food costs. So I go, "The wings are rotten," then I make the homeless comparison I just made to you, to him, and he goes, "Let me show you a little something I learned in trenches." He grabs a white bucket, like this one:
And he fills it with water, about half way. Then he dumps the rotten wings into the water. Then he looks at me and he goes, "Here's the magic." He grabs a bottle of bleach from the supply closet, and he pours a cap full of it, and dumps that cap into the water, with the wings. Then he grabs a wooden spoon and he stirs the wings, like a witch stirring a secret spell. Then he looks at me and goes "The bleach kills the smell, and then the fryer kills everything else." Then he went to the front, battered, fried, and served those wings.
Every one of you eats "Food Type Product"s every day. Things that are not even FOOD. Are you really worried about a little mold? Yes, we serve you food that has been rotten for weeks. Yes we serve you food that fell on the floor. Yes if we don't like you we spit in, piss in, and sometimes wipe our a$$es with your food before we serve it to you.
Don't ask what's in the bisque.
What do you care though? You pound your diet cokes loaded with Methanol and formaldehyde, your fruits and vegetables loaded with carcinogenic pesticides, cattle that are so loaded with hormones that when they Japanese started eating it their children started getting taller, "eggs" and "cheese" that are 100% chemically manufactured and contains 0% biological materials, the bottles you feed your baby boy with are leeching chemicals into his formula that inhibit testosterone production, but you're worried about a little mold in your Hooters Wings?
Go back to sleep, Coppertop. The world beyond your force fed microcosm is far worse than you can imagine.
Good point, but what you have to understand, is that the wings are also probably fake and loaded with some kind of preservative. And now they are rotten, after they were frozen.
however not everyone eats these things blindly, you cant blatantly assume this about everyone who dines at a restaurant. although SOME products in stores are entirely or even partially synthetic it doesnt mean theyre bad for you, in fact many completely natural foods are terrible for you. not that i care that people spit in my food because of its unhealthy nature. anyone who spits in food is fucked up no mattter you try to legitimize it, touch my food your dead bottom line.
just because you have a minimum wage job doesn't mean you have to put the general public in the way of harm.
how would you like it if you were in a bad mood one day, only had $1, and looked at an employee the wrong way and got a loogie in your only meal for the day. fuck that.
i've worked quite a few shitty jobs, we all do at some point, but be a fucking man and deal with it.
At Subway the sandwich has to be prepared in front of the customer so no spitting but they keep the bread in plastic bins under the counter and if you are a jerk, the employee has probably wiped your bread across the dirty floor before bringing it up to the counter. Just because you get to watch your food being made doesn't leave you free to be a dick. We have our ways....also don't eat the soup
Each place has their dirty little secrets.
When I worked at Burger King, things got sloppy real fast. I always worked hard and did what the rule book said, but the first night I worked till closing (which was 1 AM at the time), I got a slap in the face when it came to fast food shortcuts.
It is true that BK flame broils everything, and since this thing is on all day long it gets really really dirty everyday. So one of the final clean ups for the night crew is to 'clean the broiler', which takes about 2 hours and it sucks. So at 11o'clock, the crew made about 50 whopper patties and 60 Junior whoppers, and stored them in the large plastic bins that the vegetables are in. From that point on, they are microwaved until hot.
Later on, the crew just re-fry's everything until they're hot. Numerous times.
While that is pretty gross, your manager has a point. You could eat those wings and (if there is enough sauce on em) you would never know the difference and you would be completely fine. The fryer would kill any and all bacteria on them but this argument always goes back to: "Dude they are r-o-t-t-e-n!"
i once worked with my brother in a hotel, (he is normally very quite)one day ,one of the chefs got ticked off with a complaint from a customer so he brought the steak outside due to cameras in the kitchen,he pissed on it, spat on it, then got into his car and rolled over it and back a few times,then brought the steak back in and cooked it and sent it to the customer but before it reached the customer my brother who had been watching this and could not believe that the chef actually sent this to the customer (the customer ,who by the way,unknown to the chef was my brothers wife) stopped the waitress and took it back to the kitchen,he grabs the chef and shoves his hand into the hot fryer and makes the chef eat the steak under threat of a butchers knife,he then said if he ever saw this again he would shove the chefs head into the fryer,he then served 6 months in prison for this but said he would still do the same again,any one who does this sort of thing to a persons food should think it through,it could happen to them plus there are very angry people out there,
(my brother for one) that you just don't want to mess with.
have a nice day people and don't let assholes get away with this shit in the future.PUNISH THEM ACCORDINGLY!
Oh boy, do you have issues! Do you feel impotent and unimportant a lot? Is it so unfair that you really have to work now that you are to become a grown-up?
If serving mistreated food is good for a maiming punishment, your last comment will cost you your life, don'cha think?
stop talking about the entymology of the word "fag" or the history of the Roman Empire. While these may be interesting discussions elsewhere, that is not the purpose of this article. You are becoming obnoxiously off topic, so please shut the hell up.
I've worked at BurgerKing for a couple of years, and anything even close to that has never happened and never will happen.
The quality of the food is constantly checked and anything that looks even slightly suspicious is thrown away instantly.
This was in Norway though, where we still have standards and don't let dirty immigrants ruin our food and reputation.
just the idea of hooters is wrong, of course the food sucks your not there for the food your there so you can look at way young girls with almost nothing on. Your not really paying any attention to the food, grow up there using sex to sell rotten food, and you fell for it, get a grip.There are guys that are going to tell me to get a grip now, but they don't matter there the guys who say respecting a woman by not treating other women like a piece od meat is because the girl is "jealous" not. Jealous is a word used by men who just want to get there way, sorry if some of you men can't handle that but it's soooooooooooo true. If you sit back and look at the food and then smell your food, and not have sex staring you in the face you would not touch the so called food. Most people eat with there eyes, but this is to much, endangering your life for a look it's pathetic.......
When YOU'RE trying to make a valid point, it helps to not sound like a third-grader. Hooters is awesome and gross things in the kitchen happen everywhere.
BW3s Rocks when it comes to great wings and sauces.... I eat at a BW3s when ever i can find one. Best one is in Vegas, or baymeadows in Jacksonville Fl....
Once upon a time, I was working up in North Ontario, sharing a space with six of my fellow contracted workers. I and two others were heading out the door when we bumped into one of our roomies who had the day off. It was his first day in town and he decided he would be heading to Hooters later since they were having an all-you-can-eat shrimp promotion on.
Anyhow, we put in our workday and headed home, only to find him lying prone on the couch, groaning. His skin had gone a deathly gray, and he was dashing to the bathroom every 5 minutes. We all tried to be sympathetic, but couldn't stop laughing - after all, he had gone to Hooters to eat bottomless buckets of SHELLFISH! What did he think was gonna happen?
This kind of stuff is at least slightly controllable. This is what scares me.
I went into a chinese food store in toronto the other day, and while i am waiting for my food, this cracked out homeless looking woman walks in and goes straight up to all the plastic cutlery that is sitting right outside the counter. She takes a huge handful of forks, puts them into her disgusting mouth, sucks on them a while and puts them all back. No one saw this except for me. WTF. ?????
(170 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
May 25th, 2009 at 07:49 pm
Takes more than that to clean the scum!
February 27th, 2009 at 07:22 pm
Every one of you eats "Food Type Product"s every day. Things that are not even FOOD. Are you really worried about a little mold? Yes, we serve you food that has been rotten for weeks. Yes we serve you food that fell on the floor. Yes if we don't like you we spit in, piss in, and sometimes wipe our a$$es with your food before we serve it to you.
Don't ask what's in the bisque.
What do you care though? You pound your diet cokes loaded with Methanol and formaldehyde, your fruits and vegetables loaded with carcinogenic pesticides, cattle that are so loaded with hormones that when they Japanese started eating it their children started getting taller, "eggs" and "cheese" that are 100% chemically manufactured and contains 0% biological materials, the bottles you feed your baby boy with are leeching chemicals into his formula that inhibit testosterone production, but you're worried about a little mold in your Hooters Wings?
Go back to sleep, Coppertop. The world beyond your force fed microcosm is far worse than you can imagine.
February 27th, 2009 at 07:53 pm
Good point, but what you have to understand, is that the wings are also probably fake and loaded with some kind of preservative. And now they are rotten, after they were frozen.
February 27th, 2009 at 09:49 pm
Sounds like this was pulled straight from Fight Club
February 28th, 2009 at 07:42 pm
hear hear!
be original, guy. everybody's seen fight club
March 4th, 2009 at 10:53 am
I haven't seen Fight Club.
May 24th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
me neither
May 24th, 2009 at 08:30 pm
Nor I.
May 25th, 2009 at 03:19 am
Neither have I
May 25th, 2009 at 07:48 pm
it sucked
June 18th, 2009 at 07:19 am
Nope, never seen it either.
March 5th, 2009 at 07:10 pm
however not everyone eats these things blindly, you cant blatantly assume this about everyone who dines at a restaurant. although SOME products in stores are entirely or even partially synthetic it doesnt mean theyre bad for you, in fact many completely natural foods are terrible for you. not that i care that people spit in my food because of its unhealthy nature. anyone who spits in food is fucked up no mattter you try to legitimize it, touch my food your dead bottom line.
May 28th, 2009 at 03:16 pm
fuck you, dude.
just because you have a minimum wage job doesn't mean you have to put the general public in the way of harm.
how would you like it if you were in a bad mood one day, only had $1, and looked at an employee the wrong way and got a loogie in your only meal for the day. fuck that.
i've worked quite a few shitty jobs, we all do at some point, but be a fucking man and deal with it.
March 1st, 2009 at 05:34 pm
At Subway the sandwich has to be prepared in front of the customer so no spitting but they keep the bread in plastic bins under the counter and if you are a jerk, the employee has probably wiped your bread across the dirty floor before bringing it up to the counter. Just because you get to watch your food being made doesn't leave you free to be a dick. We have our ways....also don't eat the soup
March 3rd, 2009 at 09:26 pm
the only Subways I've been to have the ovens behind them, so i know my sandwiches are delicious.
May 25th, 2009 at 03:16 am
Same here.
March 14th, 2009 at 04:44 pm
Each place has their dirty little secrets.
When I worked at Burger King, things got sloppy real fast. I always worked hard and did what the rule book said, but the first night I worked till closing (which was 1 AM at the time), I got a slap in the face when it came to fast food shortcuts.
It is true that BK flame broils everything, and since this thing is on all day long it gets really really dirty everyday. So one of the final clean ups for the night crew is to 'clean the broiler', which takes about 2 hours and it sucks. So at 11o'clock, the crew made about 50 whopper patties and 60 Junior whoppers, and stored them in the large plastic bins that the vegetables are in. From that point on, they are microwaved until hot.
Later on, the crew just re-fry's everything until they're hot. Numerous times.
March 4th, 2009 at 01:29 am
While that is pretty gross, your manager has a point. You could eat those wings and (if there is enough sauce on em) you would never know the difference and you would be completely fine. The fryer would kill any and all bacteria on them but this argument always goes back to: "Dude they are r-o-t-t-e-n!"
March 4th, 2009 at 09:10 am
i once worked with my brother in a hotel, (he is normally very quite)one day ,one of the chefs got ticked off with a complaint from a customer so he brought the steak outside due to cameras in the kitchen,he pissed on it, spat on it, then got into his car and rolled over it and back a few times,then brought the steak back in and cooked it and sent it to the customer but before it reached the customer my brother who had been watching this and could not believe that the chef actually sent this to the customer (the customer ,who by the way,unknown to the chef was my brothers wife) stopped the waitress and took it back to the kitchen,he grabs the chef and shoves his hand into the hot fryer and makes the chef eat the steak under threat of a butchers knife,he then said if he ever saw this again he would shove the chefs head into the fryer,he then served 6 months in prison for this but said he would still do the same again,any one who does this sort of thing to a persons food should think it through,it could happen to them plus there are very angry people out there,
(my brother for one) that you just don't want to mess with.
have a nice day people and don't let assholes get away with this shit in the future.PUNISH THEM ACCORDINGLY!
April 13th, 2009 at 04:52 am
Oh boy, do you have issues! Do you feel impotent and unimportant a lot? Is it so unfair that you really have to work now that you are to become a grown-up?
If serving mistreated food is good for a maiming punishment, your last comment will cost you your life, don'cha think?
June 16th, 2009 at 05:47 pm
If that's true that's one of the most awesome stories I've ever heard. Just thought you should know.
March 4th, 2009 at 09:52 am
And for those very reasons is why i never eat at restaurants anymore. You just never know.
March 6th, 2009 at 03:06 pm
Why?? That manager should be hung for forever ruining my Hooter's experience. I'm not gonna kill the messenger. Thx for letting us know.
Josh
March 9th, 2009 at 10:56 am
stop talking about the entymology of the word "fag" or the history of the Roman Empire. While these may be interesting discussions elsewhere, that is not the purpose of this article. You are becoming obnoxiously off topic, so please shut the hell up.
June 18th, 2009 at 12:12 am
Etymology, idiot.
Also, the word idiot happens to come from the Greek language, just so you know.
March 20th, 2009 at 05:52 am
some wanker frat boy who doesn't like mexicans and disabled people and all dem others that are diffurnt - this is internet tripe.
March 20th, 2009 at 01:38 pm
I've worked at BurgerKing for a couple of years, and anything even close to that has never happened and never will happen.
The quality of the food is constantly checked and anything that looks even slightly suspicious is thrown away instantly.
This was in Norway though, where we still have standards and don't let dirty immigrants ruin our food and reputation.
May 16th, 2009 at 10:22 am
Oh it happens. We used to rub the buns on our taint and ball bag at McDonald's before putting the burgers together.
March 21st, 2009 at 01:37 pm
probably a bullshit story. nice try
March 23rd, 2009 at 06:33 am
just the idea of hooters is wrong, of course the food sucks your not there for the food your there so you can look at way young girls with almost nothing on. Your not really paying any attention to the food, grow up there using sex to sell rotten food, and you fell for it, get a grip.There are guys that are going to tell me to get a grip now, but they don't matter there the guys who say respecting a woman by not treating other women like a piece od meat is because the girl is "jealous" not. Jealous is a word used by men who just want to get there way, sorry if some of you men can't handle that but it's soooooooooooo true. If you sit back and look at the food and then smell your food, and not have sex staring you in the face you would not touch the so called food. Most people eat with there eyes, but this is to much, endangering your life for a look it's pathetic.......
March 26th, 2009 at 10:51 pm
You are fail at grammar and spelling.
May 5th, 2009 at 12:08 am
What more do you expect from a woman?
March 28th, 2009 at 02:57 am
Just another upset fat chick....
April 5th, 2009 at 10:56 am
If you were one of my students, this paragraph would force me to fail you, as well as convince your other teachers to fail you.
You, Sir or Ma'am, are full of FAIL.
April 6th, 2009 at 10:39 am
stop bringing women down
June 16th, 2009 at 09:35 am
If a woman choses to work at a hooters, no one is bringing her down. K?
April 30th, 2009 at 04:03 pm
You obviously failed English class.
June 17th, 2009 at 08:39 pm
** their **too **you're **they're
When YOU'RE trying to make a valid point, it helps to not sound like a third-grader. Hooters is awesome and gross things in the kitchen happen everywhere.
June 18th, 2009 at 07:11 am
Thank you so much, Kelly. It needed to be said.
March 25th, 2009 at 08:31 pm
Photoshopped!
March 28th, 2009 at 02:56 am
I thought that the girls at hooters were supposed to have hooters.....
April 6th, 2009 at 06:50 pm
Anyone who says hooters is bringing women down....WOMEN CHOSE TO WORK THERE! -----> note my sentence is also full of FAIL.
April 22nd, 2009 at 02:34 pm
I dont see much wrong in that. It's perfectly reasonable and scientifically correct too.
May 4th, 2009 at 05:39 pm
Hey man... i like my movies. You're kinda rude. And you're a fag. You and your penis hate Hooters.
What now tough guy. Do something.
May 16th, 2009 at 10:20 am
Hooters wings have no fucking taste. Fuck that place. Go to BW3's for good wings.
June 17th, 2009 at 08:14 am
BW3s Rocks when it comes to great wings and sauces.... I eat at a BW3s when ever i can find one. Best one is in Vegas, or baymeadows in Jacksonville Fl....
May 5th, 2009 at 06:16 am
Once upon a time, I was working up in North Ontario, sharing a space with six of my fellow contracted workers. I and two others were heading out the door when we bumped into one of our roomies who had the day off. It was his first day in town and he decided he would be heading to Hooters later since they were having an all-you-can-eat shrimp promotion on.
Anyhow, we put in our workday and headed home, only to find him lying prone on the couch, groaning. His skin had gone a deathly gray, and he was dashing to the bathroom every 5 minutes. We all tried to be sympathetic, but couldn't stop laughing - after all, he had gone to Hooters to eat bottomless buckets of SHELLFISH! What did he think was gonna happen?
May 5th, 2009 at 03:34 pm
This kind of stuff is at least slightly controllable. This is what scares me.
I went into a chinese food store in toronto the other day, and while i am waiting for my food, this cracked out homeless looking woman walks in and goes straight up to all the plastic cutlery that is sitting right outside the counter. She takes a huge handful of forks, puts them into her disgusting mouth, sucks on them a while and puts them all back. No one saw this except for me. WTF. ?????
June 16th, 2009 at 09:57 pm
You saw that, and you didn't say anything? That's the fucked part.
May 6th, 2009 at 04:04 am
I actually liked the wings at hooters. The women were mostly repulsive, fat with little in the interesting features.
Meh. Doesn't surprise me either, tho.
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