Okay, we know that most of the people who read this site are dudes. But, there are a decent number of females who read as well, and they're constantly writing in to us, bitching about how we never do anything for them. That's right, they actually write in to complain. Shocking, I know, that women would do that. So, the other day we were talking about how we could give something back to the ladies, and then it hit us. This is Tyler.
Tyler works in our office. Not for us, just in our offices. Pretty much every woman who walks into the office finds a reason to talk to Tyler, ranging from "Um, do you know where they keep (insert item that they know the exact location of). Thanks. Hey, that's a cool shirt," even though Tyler's wearing a shirt that was given to him for participating in a 10k.
Anyway, the point is, ladies seem to like Tyler, even though he swears they don't. He's being humble. He's 6'4" and looks like the son Hitler always wanted. But he's a good dude, and we decided to offer up a date with him to our lady readers, paid for by us (if you live in the Los Angeles area).
Now, this is a site for dudes, so we can't in good conscience only give away a date with a dude. I mean, what the f*&k, right? Right. So, we're also giving away a copy of GUITAR HERO METALLICA!!!! OH YEAH!
Find out how to win either, after the jump:
Here's how this works:
DUDES: Enter your best pick-up line in the comments section, and if we choose yours, you win a copy of Guitar Hero Metallica.
LADIES: Enter your best pick-up line in the comments section, and if we chose yours, you win a copy of the game, as well as a date with Tyler, if you live in the L.A. Area. If you do live in the L.A. area specify by writing "L.A." before you pick up line. If you don't, you can still win the game.
This isn't a pick up line but: TYLER I WANT TO CUP YOUR BALLSACK AS YOU SPRAY ME DOWN WITH LOVE SAUCE...THEN I WANT TO EAT PEANUTS OUT OF YOUR ASSHOLE WHILE U PLAY GUITAR HERO
(move index finger signaling a girl over) Hey babe if I can make you come with one finger imagine what I can do with all of them (follow up with movement of all fingers)
Me to guy: Seeing you was worth getting all wet for. Guy to me: It was raining? You don't look wet to me. Me to guy: Well, I haven't taken my pants off yet...
(138 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
March 30th, 2009 at 04:18 pm
I need to take a shit... wanna come?
March 30th, 2009 at 04:29 pm
I have Hot Cheetos and Jack Daniels back at my place. Let's party!
March 30th, 2009 at 04:36 pm
I was thinkin' about masturbating later and wanted to know if I could put a name to the face...
March 30th, 2009 at 04:55 pm
This isn't a pick up line but: TYLER I WANT TO CUP YOUR BALLSACK AS YOU SPRAY ME DOWN WITH LOVE SAUCE...THEN I WANT TO EAT PEANUTS OUT OF YOUR ASSHOLE WHILE U PLAY GUITAR HERO
March 30th, 2009 at 04:56 pm
Excuse me, if you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
March 30th, 2009 at 05:13 pm
Nice shoes..wanna fuck?
March 30th, 2009 at 05:14 pm
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
March 30th, 2009 at 05:15 pm
(move index finger signaling a girl over) Hey babe if I can make you come with one finger imagine what I can do with all of them (follow up with movement of all fingers)
March 30th, 2009 at 05:23 pm
You: Hey, can I give you an Australian kiss?
Her: Uh, what's that?
You: It's like a French kiss except down under.
March 30th, 2009 at 05:25 pm
I think Jason should win, but:
"Hey, do you see my friend over there? Yeah, he was wondering if you wanted to fuck the shit out of me tonight."
March 30th, 2009 at 05:29 pm
Who farted?
March 30th, 2009 at 05:29 pm
Hey baby, are you sleepy, or has that pill not kicked in yet?
March 30th, 2009 at 05:30 pm
Hey beautiful, do you like tacos? Yeah? Well have you ever heard of Holy Taco????
Yeah, well they probably haven't heard of you either, BITCH!!!!!
March 30th, 2009 at 05:32 pm
"Get in the god damned van or, so help me god, I will eat your soul?"
Too forward?
March 30th, 2009 at 05:33 pm
Was your father a thief? Cause some asshole stole my wallet... Wanna fuck?
March 30th, 2009 at 05:35 pm
Excuse me. I just shit my pants... Can I get in yours?
March 30th, 2009 at 05:48 pm
Fuck me, and I’ll never look at another horse.
March 30th, 2009 at 05:49 pm
You see that shadow over there, it just stole your bike.
March 30th, 2009 at 05:51 pm
NICEEEEE.. isnt he SUNSHINE from that Disney moving called Remember the TITANS....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_goSMl1JKi0
March 30th, 2009 at 05:51 pm
5 dollah, 5 dollah foot long.
March 30th, 2009 at 05:57 pm
Oy vey,lets go out to dinner and I can guarantee not to stick you in oven. (Because I'm a jew)
March 30th, 2009 at 06:10 pm
Hey, don't worry, I'm probably not gonna rape you....yet.
March 30th, 2009 at 06:11 pm
As long as I have a face you will always have a place to sit
March 30th, 2009 at 06:14 pm
If you eyes were marbles, they'd be the hella cool marbles.
March 30th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
Yes!
March 30th, 2009 at 06:18 pm
Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
Or:Hey, does this drink taste like rohypnol to you?
March 30th, 2009 at 06:20 pm
Do you know the difference between jam and jelly? Well I cant very well jelly my cock down your throat can I ?
**please note this is not an entry to win a date with tyler even though it looks like this line would probably work on him
March 30th, 2009 at 06:25 pm
what??? the doctor said it's not contagious, i got some ointment for it, and it will be gone in a couple days.
March 30th, 2009 at 06:34 pm
Do you have any raisins?
No?
How about a date?
March 30th, 2009 at 06:40 pm
Soo...its $400 for the hour right?
March 30th, 2009 at 06:42 pm
I want to have an orgasm inside your body.
March 30th, 2009 at 06:43 pm
I see you noticed me breathing heavily into your ear from behind you.
March 30th, 2009 at 06:46 pm
Me to guy: Seeing you was worth getting all wet for.
Guy to me: It was raining? You don't look wet to me.
Me to guy: Well, I haven't taken my pants off yet...
March 30th, 2009 at 06:49 pm
Baby, you're so gorgeous I wanna suck the dick of the last man who fucked you.
March 30th, 2009 at 07:04 pm
In Soviet Russia Cock sucks you
March 30th, 2009 at 07:31 pm
If you were a booger, I'd pick you.
though you generally don't want the girls that works one.
March 30th, 2009 at 07:36 pm
L.A.
I have AIDS, you want 'em?
March 30th, 2009 at 07:59 pm
Let's go home, Mom.
March 30th, 2009 at 08:00 pm
The girl who wins the date will make a nice lampshade in his apartment... judging by the looks of this creeper
March 30th, 2009 at 08:21 pm
Hey! Are you Mormon? Because you can call me Joseph Smith all night long.
March 30th, 2009 at 08:25 pm
And I presumes he's gay to make chicks jealous.
March 30th, 2009 at 08:44 pm
I like my women like I like my eggs. Fertilized.
March 30th, 2009 at 08:49 pm
I have a penis so let's have sex
March 30th, 2009 at 08:52 pm
(Man must be looking sad/unahppy at the bar/restaurant/park bench/etc.)
Lady: You look sad. What's wrong?
Man: Well its just that recently my dick died, so I was wondering if I might be able to give it a proper burial in your ass/vagina/mouth/breasts.
March 30th, 2009 at 09:08 pm
I was about to go out to my car to make out. Want to join me?
no, but seriously, Bill should win
March 30th, 2009 at 09:33 pm
Me so horny. Me love you long time.
March 30th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
Can I smell your pussy? No? Oh, then it must be your ass.
March 30th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
Excuse me, I'd like to pickets to titsburgh.
March 30th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
TWO pickets to titsburgh.......duh
March 30th, 2009 at 10:07 pm
If being sexy was a crime I'd Rodney King your ass.
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