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Win A Date With Tyler And A Copy Of Guitar Hero Metallica

Okay, we know that most of the people who read this site are dudes. But, there are a decent number of females who read as well, and they’re constantly writing in to us, bitching about how we never do anything for them. That’s right, they actually write in to complain.  Shocking, I know, that women would do that.  So, the other day we were talking about how we could give something back to the ladies, and then it hit us. This is Tyler.
Tyler works in our office. Not for us, just in our offices. Pretty much every woman who walks into the office finds a reason to talk to Tyler, ranging from "Um, do you know where they keep (insert item that they know the exact location of). Thanks. Hey, that’s a cool shirt," even though Tyler’s wearing a shirt that was given to him for participating in a 10k.
Anyway, the point is, ladies seem to like Tyler, even though he swears they don’t. He’s being humble. He’s 6’4" and looks like the son Hitler always wanted. But he’s a good dude, and we decided to offer up a date with him to our lady readers, paid for by us (if you live in the Los Angeles area).
Now, this is a site for dudes, so we can’t in good conscience only give away a date with a dude. I mean, what the f*&k, right? Right. So, we’re also giving away a copy of GUITAR HERO METALLICA!!!! OH YEAH!
Find out how to win either, after the jump:

Here’s how this works:
DUDES: Enter your best pick-up line in the comments section, and if we choose yours, you win a copy of Guitar Hero Metallica.
LADIES: Enter your best pick-up line in the comments section, and if we chose yours, you win a copy of the game, as well as a date with Tyler, if you live in the L.A. Area.  If you do live in the L.A. area specify by writing "L.A." before you pick up line.  If you don’t, you can still win the game.

139 Responses to "Win A Date With Tyler And A Copy Of Guitar Hero Metallica"

  1. Shakes says:

    Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

    Or:Hey, does this drink taste like rohypnol to you?

  2. ditka says:

    Hey, don’t worry, I’m probably not gonna rape you….yet.

  3. BAH says:

    As long as I have a face you will always have a place to sit

  4. Anonymous says:

    I see you noticed me breathing heavily into your ear from behind you.

  5. smw says:

    Excuse me. I just shit my pants… Can I get in yours?

  6. Jables says:

    If you eyes were marbles, they’d be the hella cool marbles.

  7. Sickpigs.com says:

    “Get in the god damned van or, so help me god, I will eat your soul?”

    Too forward?

  8. AKRhino says:

    Was your father a thief? Cause some asshole stole my wallet… Wanna fuck?

  9. AKRhino says:

    Hey baby, are you sleepy, or has that pill not kicked in yet?

  10. AKRhino says:

    Hey beautiful, do you like tacos? Yeah? Well have you ever heard of Holy Taco????

    Yeah, well they probably haven’t heard of you either, BITCH!!!!!

  11. Sarah says:

    Do you have any raisins?
    How about a date?

  12. JewintheOven says:

    Oy vey,lets go out to dinner and I can guarantee not to stick you in oven. (Because I’m a jew)

  13. Winnie says:

    Me to guy: Seeing you was worth getting all wet for.
    Guy to me: It was raining? You don’t look wet to me.
    Me to guy: Well, I haven’t taken my pants off yet…

  14. Woody says:

    Baby, you’re so gorgeous I wanna suck the dick of the last man who fucked you.

  15. Kevin W says:

    Fuck me, and I’ll never look at another horse.

  16. Negrodian says:

    You see that shadow over there, it just stole your bike.

  17. Linden says:

    Do you know the difference between jam and jelly? Well I cant very well jelly my cock down your throat can I ?

    **please note this is not an entry to win a date with tyler even though it looks like this line would probably work on him

  18. SkiBum says:

    I think Jason should win, but:
    “Hey, do you see my friend over there? Yeah, he was wondering if you wanted to fuck the shit out of me tonight.”

  19. Aldelia says:

    You: Hey, can I give you an Australian kiss?
    Her: Uh, what’s that?
    You: It’s like a French kiss except down under.

  20. Anonymous says:

    Who farted?

  21. Anonymous says:

    NICEEEEE.. isnt he SUNSHINE from that Disney moving called Remember the TITANS….


  22. Socks & Sandals says:

    what??? the doctor said it’s not contagious, i got some ointment for it, and it will be gone in a couple days.

  23. Kevin W says:

    5 dollah, 5 dollah foot long.

  24. FrankJ says:

    Soo…its $400 for the hour right?

  25. Anonymous says:

    I want to have an orgasm inside your body.

  26. Bambidown says:

    (move index finger signaling a girl over) Hey babe if I can make you come with one finger imagine what I can do with all of them (follow up with movement of all fingers)

  27. Rachel says:

    Guy: Excuse me miss are your parents retarded?
    Girl: No, why?
    Guy: Because you are so special.

  28. James says:

    Excuse me miss, My penis just died. Do you mind if I bury it in your ass?

  29. ColonBrown says:

    That is one fantastic hiney, I mean it, that thing’s good.

  30. lame says:

    Was your father an elk hunter? ‘Cause you got an incredible rack.

  31. Jason says:

    you win

  32. MJJM says:

    My penis hooks upwards in the shape of a J. Would you mind coming over to my place 3 times a week and work it back straight?

  33. DENVER FTW!! says:

    “I have lots of money.”

  34. Wally says:

    ME: Has any one ever told you, that you have the eyes of a beautiful unicorn princess?
    GIRL: Take off your pants.

  35. Pratik says:

    Guy: You look like you were a mixed baby. I’m half-black myself… from the waist down, that is.

  36. The Walkins says:

    Nice shoes, wanna f***?

  37. kigol says:

    Nice shoes. Let’s fuck.

  38. Anonymous says:

    dirtbag comment

  39. JNELSO says:

    There is no us, with out you,

  40. Jtothegame says:

    XD Good one, I bet that totally works.

  41. C. Norris says:

    wow, dude, thats not even funny.

  42. Ryan says:

    My penis is 3 inches…from the ground.

  43. Kieran says:

    Like fruit? Wanna suck my plums?

  44. C. Norris says:

    Anyone want to go halvesees on a bastard child?

  45. fiajsdofjasfd says:

    I wish I were a vampire to suck your menstruation out.

  46. Nik says:

    Hey hey calm down lady, lets not turn this rape into a murder

  47. Tony says:

    Me: “Excuse me would you like go home and fuck?”
    Girl: “um…no!”
    Me: “Come on, don’t be choosy, I wasn’t!”

  48. amanda says:

    Him: I bet your mother is just like laundry detergent

    me: how so?

    Him: She takes 100 loads including colored

    me: you can’t say colored anymore

    Him: Wanna do it in my pick up truck

    me: as long as you follow the rhythm method

    Holy taco…why can’t women make up funny pick up lines…. We choose the best? Should be be baking a pie? I understand I am not allowed to wear shoes except for slippers in the kitchen but this is redonkulous.

  49. TMizzle says:

    “How’s about a long time of Joe, in a bedroom not far away?”
    bonus points for boombox soundtrack.

  50. Anonymous says:


  51. Sherkansakanut says:

    Made me cry.

  52. TMizzle says:

    “Well, it’s not going to suck itself.”

  53. Rob Burgundy says:

    I’m kind of a big deal… I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

  54. Tomosexual says:

    Are you from the Netherlands? Because you are one big dyke

  55. Penis says:


  56. TMizzle says:

    “If Princess Toadstool looked like you, I would have killed Bowser years ago.”

  57. anonymous says:

    How would you like to receive a check from me every week for the next 18 years.

  58. Kickass says:

    Easter’s coming up, right? Can I paint your eggs?

  59. TMizzle says:

    “You have 206 bones in your body. Want one more?”

  60. wiesky says:

    Let’s just get the niceties out of the way, shall we? According to Megan’s Law, I’m required to tell you that..

  61. Anonymous says:

    corny, but hilarious

  62. Jay says:

    “Hey baby. I just want you to know that I’m an interior decorator… and I think I should help you paint your inner walls white.”

  63. Akat says:

    did you eat lucky charms this morning? because you look magically delicious!

  64. KTFO says:

    You remind me of this chick I killed back in college. Don’t worry, she was a bitch.

  65. Rupert says:

    It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

  66. KTFO says:

    Do you know the difference between rape and consentual sex? If it’s consentual you get to live.

  67. KTFO says:

    Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me.

  68. KTFO says:

    Can I smell your pussy? No? Oh, then it must be your ass.

  69. KTFO says:

    Excuse me, I’d like to pickets to titsburgh.

  70. zeeps says:

    Hey, does this smell like chloroform?

  71. Ms. Meg says:

    Me so horny. Me love you long time.

  72. KTFO says:

    If being sexy was a crime I’d Rodney King your ass.

  73. KTFO says:

    You’re a real babe….you know like the pig who gets lost in the city.

  74. gøren says:


  75. so0pa says:

    Excuse me my friend over there wants to know if u think i’m cute.

  76. KTFO says:

    I get 6 more beers in me and you’re getting lucky tonight!

  77. RussAsHell says:

    Cable TV.

  78. Anonymous says:

    I’ve got 40 million I need to hide somewhere fast, how fast is your house from here?

  79. Fallen85 says:

    Awesome. Just… awesome.

  80. RAWR!!! says:

    WTF? LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  81. dannn28 says:

    hey baby are you retarded? because you sure look special.

  82. Anonymous says:

    ahh, classic

  83. KTFO says:

    You have a nice face, can I fuck it?

  84. Josh M says:

    Do you work at Subway? Cause every time I see you I get a foot-long.

  85. Josh M says:

    Hi there, my name’s Josh. What’s your name? No way, that’s the name of my next girlfriend!

  86. Anonymous says:

    LA: I want you to snowball my smegma.

  87. Salad Days says:

    I was about to go out to my car to make out. Want to join me?

    no, but seriously, Bill should win

  88. KTFO says:

    Do you know the difference between sugar and sweet n low? This is sugar (kiss cheek gently) and this is sweet n low (grab back of head and push it to your crotch) This works 60% of the time, ALL the time.

  89. Brandi says:


    Is that a keg in your pants? Cuz I’m tryin’ to tap that!

  90. KTFO says:

    TWO pickets to titsburgh…….duh

  91. Josh M says:

    Guy: My magic watch tells me you’re not wearing panties.
    Girl: But I am wearing panties.
    Guy: Oh, it must be running an hour fast…

    In the case she calls you a pervert or rude reply with, “My magic watch is now telling me you’re a bitch. Gotta run.”

  92. KTFO says:

    Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: No thank you. Man: I’m sorry you must have misunderstood me, I said ‘You look fat in those pants’!

  93. Deathwish says:


    Dude: “How do you like your eggs?”
    Chick: “Fertilized.”

  94. Joe says:

    Thank god I brought my library card – cause im’ma checkin you out

  95. f2style says:

    Guy: Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?
    Girl: um… I don’t know
    Guy: I don’t either, but it’s gotta be enough to break the ice. My name’s [John, Mike, Dan, etc...]

  96. pg says:

    Wanna grab a slice of pizza and go fuck?
    What’s the matter? You don’t like pizza?

  97. the rare panda says:


    Totally awesome xD.

  98. SpencerMyers says:

    hey tyler its your brother’s best friend. wanna do it?

  99. Will Gazer says:

    If I were an enzyme, I’d be helicase- so I could unzip your genes.

  100. pzabt101 says:

    I have Hot Cheetos and Jack Daniels back at my place. Let’s party!

  101. EllaB says:

    Wanna play house? I’ll be the door and you can bang me all night.

  102. PrickRolled says:

    IN (Indiana. Like L.A., but better.)

    If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

  103. Woody says:

    I was thinkin’ about masturbating later and wanted to know if I could put a name to the face…

  104. bigal says:

    Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?

  105. Ann says:

    This line only works when you’re in a totally bizarre place, and it’s worked for me so, so many times.

    First, take stock of the situation. Find a way to be standing unintentionally close to your target, to the point of there being a moment of half silence. Examples, elevator ride, waiting in line at grocery, AA meeting.

    Then, make eye contact, laugh, pause, and according to situation…. ‘What’s a nice guy like you doing in an elevator like this’…. “What’s a nice guy like you doing in a line like this”… “what’s a nice guy like you confessing you years of crippling alchohol depency in a place like this”

    End with a smile. Wait for a chuckle… then, the other person (unless certifiably retarded) will usually say what they’re doing.

    You just creepily hit on someone and made it look like a clever joke. Congrats. Now find out his name and internet stalk him ladies.

  106. Stinky Taint says:

    This requires a packet of real sugar that just says SUGAR on it.

    “You dropped your name tag.” Then walk away to your table.

    They come to you 90% of the time.

  107. ClintonH says:

    Alright, I think “Stinky Taint” should win. That had me cracking up.

  108. amanda says:

    never mind…you can.

    Holy taco was right all women are dumb and can’t read.

  109. church says:

    it’s actually “Pursuant to Megan’s law, i am required to inform you that i am a registered sex offender, What’s your name?” -slingblade in “the austin road trip” story… you not the only fan of TuckerMax.com. and what the fuck? the ladies get a dude the dudes get a toy? what happens if the date goes well? i get to fuck my xbox?

  110. Anonymous says:

    i think this guy should win

  111. Fallen85 says:

    Tucket Max is the biggest douchbag on the planet though his friends follow at a close second…. but damn he writes some funny shit.

  112. amanda says:

    not bad

  113. Tomosexual says:

    You don’t sweat much for a fat chick.

  114. Mose says:

    Hey..I got candy and puppies in my trunk…wanna see?

  115. Mitchel says:

    (Man must be looking sad/unahppy at the bar/restaurant/park bench/etc.)

    Lady: You look sad. What’s wrong?

    Man: Well its just that recently my dick died, so I was wondering if I might be able to give it a proper burial in your ass/vagina/mouth/breasts.

  116. Anonymous says:

    Hey, that shirt is very becoming on you. If I were that shirt, I would be cuming on you too.

  117. Dirk Digler says:

    The girl who wins the date will make a nice lampshade in his apartment… judging by the looks of this creeper

  118. Anonymous says:

    And I presumes he’s gay to make chicks jealous.

  119. Theo11 says:

    Hey! Are you Mormon? Because you can call me Joseph Smith all night long.

  120. Christina says:

    I have AIDS, you want ‘em?

  121. Jackpotman says:

    I need to take a shit… wanna come?

  122. Smoltz says:

    I like my women like I like my eggs. Fertilized.

  123. iamME!!!! says:

    I have a penis so let’s have sex

  124. Jeremy says:

    If you were a booger, I’d pick you.

    though you generally don’t want the girls that works one.

  125. rxdrug says:

    1) Hey baby want to play army? I’ll lay down and you can blow me up.

  126. Jason says:


  127. Susan says:

    “Let’s go back to my place and do all the things I’m going to tell my friend we did anyways.”

  128. Liz says:

    Excuse me… there’s something on your ass…

    Oh wait… it’s my eyes.

  129. Johnnysep says:

    In Soviet Russia Cock sucks you

  130. Anonymous says:

    Cock. Mouth. Now.

  131. winner says:

    You have beautiful eyes……wanna blow me?

  132. winner says:

    Your sooooo hot I would eat the corn out of your shit!

  133. HZMLS says:

    Excuse me, if you’ve lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?

  134. Jtothegame says:

    This one is sure to swoon all the ladies with it’s subtle charm and oodles of class.

    “Hi there, I just wanted to say your outfit is very becoming on you. Of course if I was on you I’d be cumming too!”

    Try and keep the chicks off you after that doozy.

  135. Anonymous says:

    Nice shoes..wanna fuck?

  136. Bill says:

    Let’s go home, Mom.

  137. Anonymous says:

    Nice shoes, wanna fuck?