Usually, a day at the ol’ ballgame means a few hot dogs, a few stadium beers and watching fat people make out on the Kiss Cam. Sometimes you can even win something like baseball tickets, a new car or…a funeral:
Elaine Fulps is thrilled about the prize she won at a minor league baseball game. But she’s hoping she doesn’t have to collect on it anytime soon. Fulps, 60, won a $10,000 paid funeral at Tuesday night’s Grand Prairie AirHogs game.
“I almost croaked many times,” said Fulps, who was wearing a neck brace – the most recent effect of about 20 surgeries she’s undergone for various medical problems. “God still has me around for a reason. To win a funeral.”
Some finalists for the prize arrived dressed in black or looking like death. The finalists participated in a pallbearer’s race, a mummy wrap and a eulogy delivery.
“I’m going to pick a spot under a tree out of the Texas heat,” she told The Dallas Morning News. “And let’s hope it’s a pet-free cemetery. I don’t want to get watered on.”
I understand that minor league baseball teams need to do anything they can to boost attendance and interest in their sport. I wouldn’t have thought that “Free Funeral Night” would’ve been a big hit, but since the winner was so happy with it, here are a few other promotional ideas to help bring fans out to the ballpark.
Free Gonorrhea Test Penis Swab Night
Bucket of Puke Day
Free Nipple Shave For Everyone In Section 314
Free Alzheimer’s Medication For Everyone Who Forgets To Wear Pants Night
$1 Beers For All AA Members
Prostate Exam Night
Come Over Here And Smell This Thing That Smells Terrible Night
The First 50 AIDS Babies Get In Free Night
Free Curdled Milk Night
Dirty Diaper Smeared On Your Face Day
Courtney Love & Muppet Sexual Assault
Playboy’s Big Dance March Madness Bracket Challenge
What about “Free Vaseline for all Men who bring an Underage Female Friend Night”?
Or, Free used undergarments from the nursing home to the first 100 people. And of course, who doesn’t love Kick the mascot in the nuts night?
How about “Free Nachos for Down’s Syndrome Victims Night”?
@ Devious That would be a messy day and a funny one
I still say “Free Starbucks cards to anyone who comes dressed as a Jersey guido” would be a decent one.
That would be one fucking scary lookin audience.
Puts the “fun” back in funeral!