If you’re tired of hunting Sasquatch, bored with trying to find that damn chupacabra, and think that Loch Ness bitch died long ago, there’s a new crytid out there for you to waste your life away trying to prove is actually real: the Bhootbilli.
The Bhootbilli is described as a cat-man that can be “found” in India, about 100 miles outside of Mumbai. This carnivorous bastard is responsible for eating 45 pigeons and one goat belonging to a farmer that would rather his livestock not be eaten by a mystical creature. "The bhootbilli has been coming everyday the past 10 days around 7 pm,” said Feroz Dilawar Khan, the man whose animals have been devoured by the creature. If there’s one thing to take away from this it’s that the Bhootbiili sure is a punctual little rascal, unlike that unreliable Bigfoot who never shows up to anything on time, and when he does he’s always blurry and probably just a dude in a Harry and the Henderson’s costume (and by that I mean he’s dressed like John Lithgow).
Shekhar Nanajkar, president of a Wild, a wildlife organization in India, stated that the creature could be a civet cat, which is a thing that looks like it was made up by an imaginative 8-year-old during art class – the head of a rodent, the body of a cat, and the tail and the color pattern of a raccoon.
Or, to speak with pictures, it looks like this…
…which is a far cry from what newspaper’s in India are thinking as they draw parallels between the looks of the Bhootbilli and the looks of the infamous Monkey Man that terrorized Delhi in 2001, which reportedly looks more like one of these two things…
So, clearly, the Bhootbilli/Monkey Man is either a rodent/cat hybrid, or monkey that’s pissed off about being held a gun point, or it’s kind of a sad monkey that works for a James Bond villain from the early 70s. Also, he has a helmet, because while he may be a savage goat and bird eater, safety is his number-one concern. And he has a belt, because his supernatural monkey pants are too loose on him.
Shekhar Nanajkar continued his hypothesizing on what this creature could be: “But if a goat has been eaten then it’s either a leopard or human being.” This, ladies and gentalmen, represents a huge leap in logic that is only outmatched byu hypothesizing on whether that thing that’s been scampering though your house and chewing on your wooden chairs is either a mouse or a Cthulhu, the bringer of madness.
Courtney Love & Muppet Sexual Assault
Playboy’s Big Dance March Madness Bracket Challenge
Clearly you haven’t seen my mother yet!
the only thing scary in India is the water. It is guaranteed to give you the runs.