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World’s Coolest 13-Year-Old Loves Halo, Hookers

ralph hardy credit card stolen halo hookers

For all you mothers out there who are disappointed that your little guy didn’t get you flowers for Mother’s Day…just be happy you didn’t give birth to Ralph Hardy:

A 13-year-old from Texas who stole his Dad’s credit card and ordered two hookers from an escort agency, has today been convicted of fraud and given a three year community order.

Ralph Hardy, a 13-year-old from Newark, Texas confessed to ordering an extra credit card from his father’s existing credit card company, and took his friends on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing “Halo” on an Xbox with a couple of hookers in a Texas motel.

The escort girls who were released without charge, told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business.

Police said they were alerted to the motel by a concerned delivery clerk, whom after delivering supplies of Dr Pepper, Fritos and Oreos had been asked by the kids where they could score some chicks and were willing to pay. They explained they had just made a big score at a “World of Warcraft” tournament and wanted to get some relaxation. On noting the boys age the delivery clerk informed the authorities.

When police arrived at the motel they found $3,000 in cash, numerous electronic gadgets, an Xbox video console with numerous games, and the two local escort girls.

Ralph had reportedly told police that his father wouldn’t mind, as it was his birthday last week and he had forgot to get him a present. The father, a lawyer said he had been too busy, but would take him on a surprise trip to Disneyland instead.

I really wish I was a fly on the wall at this “party.” I can hear it now, little high-pitched voices saying stuff like, “Yo yo yo, I gots da Fritoz, beyoootch!” and “What up ladies! Why don’t you sit down and watch me Master Chief the shit out of this bitch.”

I can’t wait to see what Little Ralph has in store for Father’s Day. I’m guessing someone dies! Happy Mother’s Day!

20 Responses to "World’s Coolest 13-Year-Old Loves Halo, Hookers"

  1. JD says:

    nice legs

  2. You think thats young ass?

  3. bizzle says:

    WTF???? The father, a lawyer said he had been too busy, but would take him on a surprise trip to Disneyland instead. How many fathers would reply with this. Here is what my dad would have said, “After I pull my foot out of his ass I intend on beating him with the XBOX until he is no longer breathing.”
    Disneyland????? Now that is parenting 101 there. Way to go Dad!

  4. sertan says:

    ghalloo gut kota sikerim amcık oğlu

  5. "o god... "you are an idiot. says:

    beAting

  6. angel says:

    Kid in photo looks too young to be 13… That is some pretty BS reasoning there. Disneyland, eh?

    *Gets the belt*

  7. Irish says:

    I’m sorry but WTF. Rather play xbox. I think yall missed the point. The little guy is a queer. End of story.

  8. Me says:

    what a waste of hookers

  9. Bryan says:

    Hell yeah, that’s the way they roll.

    Bryan
    http://www.easywindowshelp.com

  10. Web Design Company says:

    Unbelievable!!! should not be credit cards company should be more careful on issuing the cards.

    kate,

    Web Design Company

  11. Pratik says:

    When this kid turns 18, MTV will be all over him like emo kids on self-pity.

  12. Sum Ting Wong says:

    I take it the hookers thought “Split-screen multiplayer” meant something altogether different, when they accepted this booking. Go Ralph!

  13. brice says:

    great pic!

  14. o god.... says:

    wow this is why we should start beeting our kids again

  15. Dom says:

    I’m sorry but, WTF. That’s funny and sad, ppps has no control of his kid. A wealthy family and the kid doesn’t have a clue about the value of a $.

    First off,

    “The escort girls who were released without charge, told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business.”

    Didn’t they notice something was up when they saw 13 year old boys?

    Then,

    “They explained they had just made a big score at a “World of Warcraft tournament”

    That sounds like code for landed themselves a fat chick.

  16. Dom says:

    Pops*

  17. AlcoLOL says:

    Headshots? Meleed in the back of the face? Sticky grenades? Sounds kinky.

  18. Steve says:

    I don’t care, that little fucker ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. hey now says:

    Somebody needs to find out who that delivery clerk is and beat the shit out of him.