Explore Holy Taco

Would You Bang A Miley Cyrus Sex Doll? Because Now You Can!

miley-cyrus-blow-up-doll-picture

If you and two other buddies are thinking of starting a band, might we suggest you quickly snatch up the name “3 Achy Love Holes” before some sexual deviant wannabe rockstar thinks he came up with that all by himself while he’s plowing a Miley Cyrus inflatable sex doll.

Oh, and yeah, there is now such a thing as a Miley Cyrus sex doll.

We all hate Miley Cyrus. That’s just a fact. No one has their MileyCyrus.com bookmark right next to their HolyTaco.com bookmark. Tomorrow she could get flattened by the most precisely targeted asteroid the universe has ever witnessed and most of us would marvel at the asteroid’s truly remarkable ability to obliterate a single teenaged pop star while not causing even a penny’s worth of collateral damage. Miley would be an afterthought. And we’d give the asteroid its own all-singing-all-dancing series of Disney Channel movies.

But, let’s face it: most of us haters would probably toss her a hate bang. Just an angry, belligerent spiteful screwing loaded with scads of profanity and more than a couple “accidental” elbows to her chipmunk face.

Sadly, very few of us will ever get that shot. Luckily, a company by the name of Pipedream Products has brought us all one-step closer to being able to have sex with Miley through the wonders of an inflatable sex doll made in Miley Cyrus’ likeness, which we assume will look like this…

miley-cyrus sex doll

We have no prior Miley-sexing experience, but we’re willing to bet making love to her plastic doppelganger is significantly better than having sex with the real thing. For starters, the number of times the word “ya’ll” is spoken will be drastically cut down. And the doll will probably be just as insightful during post-coitus conversation, too. In fact, we’re so sure of this that we took this hypothesis to our resident Holy Taco scientists and they created a wildly expensive mock-up conversation between myself and the inflatable Miley Cyrus sex doll by analyzing the real Miley’s speech patterns during televised interviews and by sampling her responses to the subjects she most enjoys discussing within the pages of celebrity gossip magazines.

Here is that sample:

Holy Taco: “Wow, that was some really great sex, there, Miley. But that’s over now. Let us now discuss what Japan must do to rebuild their country in the wake of the earthquake and tsunami, while at the same time pontificating on how the tragic disasters will affect Japan’s economic stability in the coming decade. Miley, what are your thoughts on the matter?”

Inflatable Miley Cyrus Sex Doll: [a series of windy farts belt out as the air we banged in to her slowly escapes]

Holy Taco: “Indeed.”

5 Responses to "Would You Bang A Miley Cyrus Sex Doll? Because Now You Can!"

  1. DonkeyXote says:

    Did taco just imply up there a bang bang with a doll of Miley Cyrus?

    I feel sorry for the guy that gets to go last! 0.o

  2. Gomer says:

    Shazzam!