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Would You Pay $40,000 for Scarlett Johansson?

When I heard Eliot Spitzer paid $4,100 dollars an hour for his hooker, I thought that was a lot of money to pay for a hooker. You could buy a 2002 Hyundai Accent for that much. Although I think it’s probably more socially acceptable to pay for a hooker than to drive an ’02 Hyundai. Anyway, now there’s a new girl on the market, but she’s way pricier. Usmagazine.com reports:

Scarlett Johansson is no cheap date.

A man from the U.K. placed a winning eBay bid of $40,100 to join her at the L.A. premiere of He’s Just Not That Into You this June.

I was shocked when I first heard about this, but $40,000?! I hope to God he at least does the penis in the popcorn bag trick. Alright, these prices are getting out of control. This is like when A-Rod got $250 million dollars from the Texas Ragners. It just threw shit out of whack. So, once and for all, I’m going to set prices for this kind of stuff. See the chart below, I think you’ll find it hopeful.

20 Responses to "Would You Pay $40,000 for Scarlett Johansson?"

  1. Steve says:

    Dude, bitch is hot, but, HELL NO there is NOTHING a biatch can do for me thats worth more than $50

  2. Ab says:

    I wouldn’t waste a penny on any of them cause their ugly. Why waste money on someone crap as those?

  3. FluffytheWonderBunny says:

    The starbucks biotch would smell like stale coffee beans and bore me with factoids about coffee…..Spitzers cock cushion is for me right up the ole’ turd cutter

  4. Dliteful says:

    What I dont get is that the Spritzer call girl wasnt all that hot. And she was only about a grand an hour and Spitzer pays $4300? What the f-k was he doing that long when he could have banged her silly 8 times for half an hour and still had some money left over for a tip. WTF? Anyway, his wife looks like a crusty, boring, uptight, no-good-in-bed, nagging ass prude so I dont blame him ONE BIT for getting some extra action. Its probably why he was able to stay with her as long as he has (that, and it was cheaper to blow 80K on hookers than what it would cost to get rid of her with a divorce).

  5. Adam says:

    Don’t you think Spitzer’s girl has some skill? If her going rate is $4,100 an hour, it’s probably worth it.

  6. Drew says:

    The $40,100 went towards charity, asshole. You’re trying to tell people to donate less.

  7. John says:

    Actually I retract my last comment. I saw some cute barista today and im going with the $135 blow jo fo sho.


  8. Amish Joe says:

    If I give a girl 1,000 Dollars, she better be going to BestBuy and buying me a big screen tv with it. that way i can watch life sized porn and not care that the girl giving me head is beastly looking :x

  9. From the desk of God says:

    That’s right dork, donate less…less money, means less successful rejects making it. Such as yourself. Your in the “Those-without-a-sense-of-humor” section of my To-Be-Deleted program for the betterment of this hellhole you call earth…

    I’m trying to clean this fucking planet up, and your complaining?

    You should be feeling lucky that your section is 3rd on the list for elimination. Keep it up and I’ll bump you up to first.


    P.S. You can lower your place in line by walking around without panties all day. I absolutely love that.

    P.P.S. Just douche first; the tuna stinks to high heaven.

  10. </a></cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/would-you-pay-40000-for-scarlett-johansson/#comment-56331">May 13, 2009 at 10:08 am</a></div> <p>Good Site. Nice work.<br /> I am from Comoros and also now’m speaking English, tell me right I wrote the following sentence: “Gray cast iron of grade sch is used for avtovaz from tons of steel in to tons.Honda insight hybrid could cost less than.”</p> <p>Best regards <img src='http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_surprised.gif' alt=':o' class='wp-smiley' /> , Lennor.</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment odd alt thread-odd thread-alt depth-1" id="li-comment-4225"> <div id="comment-4225" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">Buddy Ice</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/would-you-pay-40000-for-scarlett-johansson/#comment-4225">March 13, 2008 at 7:43 pm</a></div> <p>One the Starbucks’s chick should be free across the board. Imaging trying to have anal sex with her and she rips a coffee fart; fuck that dude. </p> <p>Also I was curious as to why J.Alba is cheaper than Scarlett J.; I’m perplexed here.</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment even thread-even depth-1" id="li-comment-4226"> <div id="comment-4226" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">Buddy Ice</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/would-you-pay-40000-for-scarlett-johansson/#comment-4226">March 13, 2008 at 7:44 pm</a></div> <p>One the Starbucks’s chick should be free across the board. Imaging trying to have anal sex with her and she rips a coffee fart; fuck that dude. </p> <p>Two, I’m curious as to why J.Alba is cheaper than Scarlett J.; I’m really perplexed here.</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment odd alt thread-odd thread-alt depth-1" id="li-comment-4227"> <div id="comment-4227" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn"><a href='http://www.canigetawipe.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Mr. Poopoopachu</a></cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/would-you-pay-40000-for-scarlett-johansson/#comment-4227">March 13, 2008 at 8:25 pm</a></div> <p>To me, anal sex is “regular sex,” so I guess these are bargain basement prices. I dig it.</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment even thread-even depth-1" id="li-comment-4228"> <div id="comment-4228" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">whappadoppi</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/would-you-pay-40000-for-scarlett-johansson/#comment-4228">March 13, 2008 at 8:34 pm</a></div> <p>i dont like anal anyway whoppiiee</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment odd alt thread-odd thread-alt depth-1" id="li-comment-4229"> <div id="comment-4229" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">NakedGod</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/would-you-pay-40000-for-scarlett-johansson/#comment-4229">March 13, 2008 at 9:43 pm</a></div> <p>If I had a spare 40k laying around, I would have definitely paid for a movie date with Scarlett.</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment even thread-even depth-1" id="li-comment-4230"> <div id="comment-4230" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn"><a href='http://www.bannedinhollywood.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>John</a></cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/would-you-pay-40000-for-scarlett-johansson/#comment-4230">March 13, 2008 at 9:55 pm</a></div> <p>I’ll take the Scarlett Johandjob for $2,000 please…</p> <p><a href="http://www.bannedinhollywood.com" rel="nofollow">http://www.bannedinhollywood.com</a></p> </div> </li> <li class="comment odd alt thread-odd thread-alt depth-1" id="li-comment-4231"> <div id="comment-4231" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">chaosman</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/would-you-pay-40000-for-scarlett-johansson/#comment-4231">March 13, 2008 at 10:15 pm</a></div> <p>All the prices seem fine for the services rendered. With the exception of the common whore. I’ll skip that catagory but I’ll sign up for the rest. Who do I make the check out to and how soon can I get the schedule lined up?</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment even thread-even depth-1" id="li-comment-4232"> <div id="comment-4232" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">Turd Ferguson</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/would-you-pay-40000-for-scarlett-johansson/#comment-4232">March 13, 2008 at 11:55 pm</a></div> <p>I would much rather put it in Alba’s no no hole, probably after she drops that filthy beast of a child out of her. But who am I to be picky. However Sco Jo has some damn fine perkies (boobs).</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment odd alt thread-odd thread-alt depth-1" id="li-comment-4233"> <div id="comment-4233" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">Eliot Spizer</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/would-you-pay-40000-for-scarlett-johansson/#comment-4233">March 14, 2008 at 1:14 am</a></div> <p>I would pay 10,982,214.92 !!</p> </div> </li> </ol> </div> </div> <div id="column-right"> <div class="block"> <div id="re_ad_300x250"> <!-- begin ad-tag 300x250 --> <div id="div-gpt-ad-1362699458765-1"> <script type="text/javascript"> googletag.cmd.push(function () { googletag.display("div-gpt-ad-1362699458765-1"); }); </script> </div> <!-- end ad tag --> </div> </div> <!-- START OF THE PLAYER EMBEDDING TO COPY-PASTE --> <div id="mediaplayer" class="mediaplayer block"> <textarea class="lazyload-right"> <h2 class="heading"> This Street Fight Is So Well Filmed It’s Almost Art </h2> <div class="mediaplayerBox"> <iframe src="//break.com/embed/2655550?embed=1" width="300" height="250" webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen allowfullscreen frameborder="0"></iframe> </div> </textarea> </div> <!-- END OF THE PLAYER EMBEDDING --> </div> <br clear="all" /> </div> <!-- content end --> </div> <div class="footer_wraper"> <div class="footer"> <ul class="network_sites"> <li class="break"><a href="http://www.break.com/" target="_blank" title="Funny Videos">Break.com</a></li> <li class="mademan"><a href="http://www.mademan.com/" target="_blank" title="Men's Guide">Made Man</a></li> <li class="gamefront"><a href="http://www.gamefront.com/" target="_blank" title="Game Front">Game Front</a></li> <li class="screenjunkies"><a href="http://www.screenjunkies.com/" target="_blank" title="Movie Reviews">Screen Junkies</a></li> <li class="cagepotato"><a href="http://www.cagepotato.com/" target="_blank" title="MMA News">Cage Potato</a></li> <li class="chickipedia"><a href="http://www.mademan.com/chickipedia/" target="_blank" title="Hot Pictures">Chickipedia</a></li> <li class="holytaco last"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/" target="_blank" title="Funny Stuff">Holy Taco</a></li> </ul> </div> </div> <script type="text/javascript"> if(typeof _brkPVO == 'undefined') var _brkPVO = 'pe=a&pi=630'; (function() { var brkpv = document.createElement('script'); brkpv.type = 'text/javascript';brkpv.async = true;brkpv.src = 'http://media1.break.com/break/js/lamp/pageview.min.js?v=221'; document.body.appendChild(brkpv); })(); </script> <!--Plugin Missed Schedule 2013.0130.2222 Active - Key Tag: bkytCi8L522P8RbgYIlkQbL6Yz4JDvIWlTlXN5q776Yvq5t7gxkCvB643C7osdFV6--> <!-- Universal Footer --> <script type="text/javascript" data-site-id="HolyTaco" id="js-UniversalFooter"> (function() { var uf = document.createElement('script'), s = document.getElementById('js-UniversalFooter'); uf.type = 'text/javascript'; uf.src = '//cdn.sites.break.com/wp-content/themes/sites.break/universal-footer/UniversalFooter.js'; s.parentNode.insertBefore(uf, s); })(); </script> <div id="tracking" style="height:0px; width:0px; overflow:hidden;"> <!-- Start Comscore Beacon --> <script type="text/javascript"> document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + (document.location.protocol == "https:" ? 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