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You Don’t Get This Kind of Email Everyday

We got a lot of emails from different people all over the world. Some of them tell us how stupid we are, others tell us how great we are (OK, one did once, a long time ago.) But the other day we got this one and thought it was worth sharing with you.
If anyone out there has the desire to put on a human longpig luau with an ex-Michigan State football player as the pig, just let us know and we’ll pass on the appropriate information.
Oh, and here’s his photo.

12 Responses to "You Don’t Get This Kind of Email Everyday"

  1. Anonymous says:

    Hey let him do it I say. I’m sure you could find people who’d also like to eat him. Beautiful ladies in bikinis who have nice bodies and would also like to eat him, though, I don’t know….

  2. Pratik says:

    I wonder how erotic this would be for this guy. It’s like he jizzes himself when he sees someone take a bite out of his arm or something. Very fucked up.

  3. Joey says:

    Man, this makes me both proud and embarrassed to go to Michigan State. On one of the spectrum, it shows we know how to party…but on the other end of it, holy fuck that is messed up on so many levels.
    Good thing State isn’t going to the Outback Bowl this year, I’d be terrified to see this guy’s version of a Bloomin’ Onion (It would probably involve his genitals)

  4. Anonymous says:


    I have a group of cannibalistic trans-sexuals who are highly interested in this opportunity. They have already roasted a small infant in a similar manner, and would just love to have a fully grown man because a man provides much more meat. Apparently human flesh is quite sweet and dry, so they may need to boil you for a while before skewering you, to make sure your flesh is nice and moist. Alternatively, there are nutritional supplements that can load your muscles up with water. You would have to take these two weeks in advance of this event.

    I know your fantasy is to play this out with women, however you probably will not even notice the difference with my group of trans-sexuals. They will be happy to dress in bikinis, and serve you on a silver platter with the proper garnishing.


  5. Carnivore says:

    He looks pretty meaty from the photo. I’d take a barbecued thigh, preferably with some sliced pineapple and a Mai Tai.

  6. Anonymous says:

    There is a episode of The Secert Lives of Women that has a lady that likes to be tied up like a pig and put on a sliver platter with an apple in her mouth.

  7. Confused says:

    What the fuck is the matter with you people? Roasting small infants? Being skewered alive and cooked? This is some fucked up Hannibal type shit and you people legitimately all need help/maybe indited. This is god awful disgusting and I hope you guys get some help.

  8. Brad says:


    you sound lost…how did you end up on this site in the first place?

    pretty sure the description he just gave of himself is the exact same profile police start looking for when a small boy goes missing.

    oh, and this guy is single? would have never believed it.

  9. jagoff says:

    nice hair

  10. Your Mom says:

    He looks like he could be in the Beach Boys. But Beach Boys like a horrible 80s reunion tour. Either that or a terribly fashioned ice sculpture carved with a blunt chain saw and is starting to melt.

  11. Anonymous says:

    looks like guy from the cell.

  12. Anonymous says:

    isn’t that Dauber from Coach?!

    Is this viral for a reunion?