You Forgot Valentine’s Day, Didn’t You?

OK, so you totally forgot it was Valentine’s Day tomorrow and you haven’t gotten him or her anything (except herpes, which he or she will “receive” in a year.) Instead of freaking out, running over to the Hallmark store and buying a crappy card and a stupid bear, go to callmecasanova.com. Choose from assorted gift options like Zales jewelry, balloons or flowers, which they will ship directly to your recipient with a pre-written love poem that won’t try to rhyme the word “Nantucket.” In addition, you can include all your special someone’s special dates so thoughtful gifts will be automatically shot off to them on birthdays, anniversaries and hump days.