You Get What You Pay For: In Defense of the ‘Kardashian Kard’

Kim Kardashian (click here to see her chest or here to see her butt) and her two sisters, Rocksteady and Bebop, are in the news again. But this time, it’s not for a DUI or sucking slong on camera. Apparently, the girls have run afoul of Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal. Blumenthal is upset about the "Kardashian Kard," a prepaid debit card with the Kardashians’ picture on. He feels the card is "predatory" because in order to fund it with your own money, you first have to pay $59.95. After threatening to bring legal action, the Kardashians pulled out of the deal, and as of today, it is no longer available. Well all I have to say is for shame, Mr. Blumenthal.

_{Please Slide Your Card}

Last time I checked, this was America, and in America, everyone has the God-given right to get conned out of money by fat Armenian skanks if they so choose. I’m pretty sure it happened to Ben Franklin. I know it happens every night in strip clubs across Los Angeles. And now, thanks to the Kardashian Kard, the rest of us finally had the chance to get fleeced by trashy, nouveau riche tramps at our convenience. That is, until buzz-kill Blumenthal stepped in with his typical nanny-state bullshit. 

So you had to pay $59.95 to activate a card that you fund with your own money. So what? You get to use it for six whole months! That only comes out to like $8 a month, or something. That’s a small price to pay for the privilege of whipping out your debit card at Walmart and showing your fellow patrons that you’re able to keep up with the Kardashians. Also, consumers had the choice to opt for a better value with the 12 month plan for $99.95, and choice is what America is all about. Am I right? After your initial plan ran out, it was only $7.95 a month to keep going. That’s less than an hour’s work at minimum wage! Well, almost, but still, who cares?

_{Please Slide Your Card (That Never Gets Old)}

Besides, do we really want to live in a country where tricking stupid people is a crime? I know I don’t. If you want your debit card to have a picture of the Kardashians on it, you should be penalized. Personally, I would have suggested some form of corporal punishment, but Adam Smith’s invisible hand found another way to hurt these imbeciles. Honestly, they deserve to lose so much more. Granted, if someone used the Kardashian Kard, they would have. It cost $1.50 to withdraw cash at an ATM or to speak with a customer representative. It also cost a buck to check your balance at an ATM, and $6 dollars to cancel the card. But where some people see gouging, I see Social Darwinism at work, and not the racial kind, which is frowned upon these days.

At the end of the day, who are we to stop the Kardashians? And who are we going to stop next? First they came for check cashing stores, and I said nothing because I used a bank. Next they came for the credit-card companies, and I said nothing because I already had bad credit and declared bankruptcy. Then they came for the pornographic websites that keep charging you month after month, even when you ask them to stop, and there was no one left to speak for me. Think about it. (Source)